Giving, Revisted

I love the Christmas season! This past weekend, I decorated my house for Christmas kind of on a whim; I had no plans to, but excitement over the upcoming month while Black Friday shopping moved me to hang up some bows and garland across a long wall, put up a slim tree with lights and run glittery things along my banisters (rendering them largely unusable for climbing up stairs for a month-plus, lol). An HGTV special also inspired me to decorate my dining area chandelier, pictured below (I’ve since replaced the red bows with gold bells, and the bows are part of a wall display behind it that still needs some work).

Anyway, after amassing the decorations and then starting to hang them up, I really felt God remind me that, in all the festivities, Christmas is an especially great time of year to give.

Every other time also is a great time to give. One of the reasons I see giving as so important is because it’s so close to the heart of God: We never have to wonder whether generosity is something He’s pleased with – we already know it is. As I’ve said before, one of my all-time favorite verses – and a life motto, which I remember learning in second grade, is 2 Corinthians 9:7:

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver (NIV).

I also believe that this is one of – if not the most – important verse on giving for the people of God. As I’ve said before, I strongly believe that it’s infinitely more significant for helping people understand God’s heart for giving than Malachi 3:10, which a lot of churches use to convince people to open up their wallets. Ultimately, God owns everything, and He doesn’t just want to use our resources for His kingdom, He is most concerned with our hearts. Further, as we can forget, The God of the Universe has a heart too, and LOVES it when we give from our hearts. Don’t you love the idea of making the God of the Universe happy?!? That’s awesome!

God’s been teaching me more lessons about giving this year. I’ve blogged before about some principles of giving (which you can revisit here if you’d like), so I don’t want to rewrite them. What I want to do is encourage us all to consider how God is calling us to give this season.

This whole year, God’s been showing me new ways and areas to give. In that spirit, I listened to this great message about giving from a pastor visiting Elevation Church, Robert Morris. He’s given in some big ways over the years – at God’s leading he’s voluntarily relinquished his transportation (including the two cars he owned at one time and use of a private jet and personal pilot that someone gave him voluntarily for his ministry); income he needed to pay bills, his house, his retirement accounts, and much more. He exemplifies, and notes, the adage, “you can never out give God.” It really challenged me, and would encourage you to check it out here, or on iTunes, Elevation Church: Charlotte > Banner Years…11/17/12 Message) !

I believe that many of us could stand to give more than we actually do. Sometimes there is a perception among God’s people that “as long as I’m tithing - or trying to tithe - I’m good.” But there are so many other needs in the world for which God can call us to give our money, time and abilities to that we’ll miss out on if we focus on just tithing. And further, if we’re tithing reluctantly or under compulsion – because we heard we’re supposed to, we want people to think we’re generous or just because of the money that we think we’ll get back from God, we’re not actually giving cheerfully as God desires that we do (I also note that I do not believe tithing is a command as in the Old Testament sense, but I do see tithing as a good minimum New Testament guideline for churches, but only a guideline – meaning that giving 10% does not necessarily fulfill God’s call to give for every person – and that following 2 Corinthians 9:7 will lead to true, God-honoring giving, while relying on a 10% command may not. Further, there is a lot of biblical study on Old Testament giving indicating that people actually gave more than 10 percent. But my point here is not even that everyone must give more than 10 percent– we give out of what God has given us – but to emphasize that giving is a heart matter, not a numbers thing. I believe that when the heart is right – cheerful, as God loves and intends it– the number will be right – whether that’s 2% or 50%, because we’ll be giving what He intends that we give. Biblical guidance on giving is a topic I plan to tackle in detail on this blog at some point after I’ve had time to do all the necessary exegesis, laid out in proper expository format, lol, so this is not the end of this long aside).

Christmas is a time that we thank God for the indescribable gift of His Son to save us from sin. It’s also a time when people have needs unique to this point in the year. It’s starting to get cold, and some people don’t have – and can’t afford – coats to keep warm, or to pay their heating bills. Others are separated from family during the holiday for reasons such as school, work or even prison. People all over the world – here and abroad - need basic necessities, and to hear - sometimes for the first time, The Gospel Message.

Jesus said that where our treasure is, our heart will be also. It’s year end. Some of us may be blessed with additional money or time that we didn’t have during the rest of the year. This season, we can ask God what needs He may be asking us to meet with the resources He’s given us – monetary or otherwise – to show His love at Christmas – and then go out and give. Let’s make God smile this season!

A Voter Guide for The Body (of Christ)

We’re less than 24 hours from the presidential Election Day, and I’m very excited about watching the results unfold tomorrow night. I already had plans to get a new television, but made sure it arrived in time to have big-screen viewing on election evening – for me, this quadrennial occurrence is as much spectator sport as any major, world-class championship game. But with all of the excitement, I can’t help but feel a deep burden for seeing Christians do a much better job proclaiming something that matters far more than whether a preferred candidate reaches 270 electoral votes: The Gospel.

It’s tended to get buried because of politics, especially in our current polarized political climate. Republican Christians pit themselves on one side; Democrat Christians, on the other (not to mention other offshoots of these parties that I will refrain from naming to avoid potentially misclassifying them). Then there are so-called Independents, who still tend to lean one way or the other. Christians on both – or all – sides often marvel how the other side could possibly profess Christ yet support “x” policy or have “y” view (although I think it’s fair to say that, at least on some level, these claims are made to varying degrees depending on political position).

I have spent significant time in Christian circles that are either overwhelmingly Republican or predominantly Democrat, and have been an outsider in both. That’s not to say that I don’t lean a certain way (I do) – or that I haven’t at times vocalized my political opinions – but, growing up as a first-generation American, with parents who grew up in another country, my family did not have a tradition of belonging to a particular party as many Americans do. On some level, my sensitivity to the tendency for Christians to become overly partisan at the expense of The Gospel is a result of my own experiences interacting with politics and faith.

I became most disturbed by the often vitriolic comments that came out of professing Christians’ mouths vilifying “the other side” (whichever that is) during the 2008 presidential election campaign cycle. For example, I remember Facebook becoming a breeding ground for public, incendiary exchanges between many of my Christian-school classmates who had known each other since elementary school, but were now on opposite sides of the political spectrum. I even found myself posting a couple comments about the party of a candidate whom I was not supporting that drew fire and, in retrospect, I would not have made.

But, on a positive note, that election I remember one Christian settling a difference of political opinion with another Christian on Facebook by noting that Christians of varying political positions are connected by the fact that our true citizenship actually is not in this world, but in heaven. That’s the beginning of where I want to land: encouraging fellow believers not only to remember during election season that our citizenship is in heaven, but also that it’s our job to take as many people with us.

Message Mix-Up

Often, we don’t realize how our partisanship can affect our witness and responsibility as Christians to share the good news. The Gospel is defined as Jesus dying and rising again on the third day - providing eternal life to all who believe - according to the scriptures. Our good works are a way for us to live out God’s purpose for our lives and show the fruit of the Holy Spirit in us. But, as noted in 2 Corinthians 5, sharing The Gospel is the job – or the “ministry of reconciliation” that all Christians are given on this earth. That’s above everything else we do – our occupation, hobbies, and yes – our political parties or positions. Second Corinthians 5: 20 says this about our God-given ministry  of reconciliation: “Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God” (ESV). That’s the message to which we’re supposed to be dedicated at all times.

When we become so tied to a political position, we can not only vilify other Christians and show the world division in The Body where we are called to unity, but also start to create another Gospel: that if people don’t share our political positions, they cannot enter the kingdom of God. Yes, there are issues that God calls us to take a stand on, but in the political arena, there is often more than one way to take a stand for a particular issue. Further, God may give us a heart for one issue, while another Christian may be more focused on another, which can cause us to vote differently even if we may actually share many of the same views. Additionally, there are other areas where we can legitimately, based on Scripture, hold more than one view. When we give our political positions the same inerrancy as the Word of God, we become idolaters - and are just plain wrong.

Also, when we become too partisan, we can begin to see a candidate as a  kin of savior for our nation or even the world, when it is only God who saves. When we became too wrapped up in a candidate, we can feel a sense of hopeless when he or she loses. We forget that God is sovereign, over everything, and establishes leaders – presidents included. It also then becomes hard for us to do for our leaders what Scripture calls us to do regardless of outcome – pray for them specifically.

Further, when partisanship overtakes us, it tends to show by the hateful words that we spew at others who disagree with us. The bitter partisan climate that we are in calls for us to vilify the other side, while The Gospel requires that our conversation be full of grace, seasoned with salt. When we’re too partisan, what comes out of our mouths ends up being no different from those who do not know Christ – and can be even worse when we claim to be overcome by hateful partisanship in Jesus’ name.

Moreover, being carried away with politics also gives Christians a bad reputation and limits our effectiveness when we do take unpopular stands for the right reasons. Jesus warned His disciples that the world will hate them, just as they hated Him. As Christians, we must take a stand for righteousness, even when it's not in vogue. Often, the world can’t understand why we take certain positions that are the result of having a biblical, countercultural worldview. But because the world will hate us at times does not give us a license to present our positions hatefully, with an “us versus them” mentality. Yet many Christians espouse this attitude – with non-Christians and other Christians, and, in turn, dishonor God and fail to be witnesses for Him.

Voting for Jesus

What does proper conduct for Christians look like this presidential election week, and beyond? The Bible has an answer for that too. The New Testament provides guidance on how we are to share our faith and interact with believers and nonbelievers, including how to navigate politics. In the New Testament, the early church audience was at times under oppressive governments and communities that often maligned them for their faith. They were probably tempted to dishonor those around them, but apostles such as Paul and Peter, moved by the Holy Spirit in their writings, encouraged them to conduct themselves blamelessly. In providing more evidence of Scripture’s continual relevance to the present day, Peter gave this instruction in 1 Peter 2: 12, 17:

"12 Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

17 Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king."

Further, 1 Peter 3:15 says, “But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.”

It really does not matter what the world does, we are to take a stand for Jesus, and be "nonpartisan" - and kingdom driven - in out pursuit of sharing The Gospel with others.

Further, as the Facebook friend I mentioned earlier said in reaching out to a fellow believer on the other side of the political aisle, we should all remember that our citizenship is in heaven. The apostle Paul said those very words, and more, in Philippians 3:20-21:
“ But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.”

Because ultimate victory is heaven, we have a hope no matter what an election outcome, and we are to share this undying hope with the world. A human, political candidate can let us down, but God never fails us.

Kingdom Perspective
In (not-so-short) short, we must always choose The Gospel over worldly political institutions, parties and opinions. And whenever we get carried away and allow our partisanship to prevent us from living out our faith – loving the world and other believers and sharing The Gospel, we pick The Gospel. In the short term, this may mean that, over the next couple weeks, we may need to take a step back from some conversations, news or social media outlets or e-mail messages and reassess our loyalty, and speak lovingly to others, believers and nonblievers, in the face of hate. Far more  important than proclaiming our political positions is promoting eternity with Jesus.

I think often when perspectives like the one in this entry are shared, Christians can get defensive and point the finger at believers belonging to other political parties as the culprit and not do any personal reflection. I pray that as you read this, you’ll consider not just how Christians you disagree with may have put partisanship over The Gospel, but how you and others with whom you agree may have as well. We all have the potential to go astray in this area – myself included, and I think it’s important to constantly be checking ourselves and not just criticizing others. This may be something you’ve already done at least once this election season, but it doesn’t hurt to do it again!

Let’s remember to keep a kingdom perspective as we go to the polls tomorrow (and even if we’ve voted early!), spectate on election night, and after the results are announced. As Christians, we may lean left or right, but, for the Love of Jesus, let’s unite by voting daily for the ultimate Commander in Chief – the King of all Kings, who belongs to no political party – and, in fact, rules over ever manmade establishment. To him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Good Eats

On this Sunday mornin', I just wanted to pass on a few message series that I’ve been listening to recently.

 "WORK AND WORSHIP"

This sermon by Mark Driscoll is about the need for all Christians to have a sabbath, a day of rest (which, ironically, I listened to while I was supposed to be taking an afternoon off, but ended up doing housework tsk tsk). Anyway, I think it was great encouragement to intentionally build time for rest in our 24-hour, online world – as God intends for us, and was the best treatment of the topic that I’ve heard in a while. You can check it out here, or on iTunes, Marks Hill Church: Mark Driscoll Audio > Work and Worship, September 5, 2012.

"DECISION NOW"

At my church, we’ve been doing a fall church-wide study on the book of Proverbs on Sunday morning and in small groups called “Decision Now” (to coincide with the election). Our colors are red, white and blue, the candidates are Wisdom and Folly, and our slogan is “Vote 4 Wisdom” (we have buttons, stickers, t-shirts and all)! I’ve been involved in planning the campaign (I guess you could say I’m on message control), and it’s given me the opportunity to study the book of Proverbs more in depth, which is something I’ve been wanting to do since last year. It's great how God gave me this opportunity! You can check out the message series here, or on iTunes , Podcasts > The Bridge DC > Decision Now. The series continues until early December.

"MEN AND MARRIAGE," Parts 1 and 2

I heard two messages by Pastor Scott Nickell of Flatirons Community Church that I think are a very culturally relevant and biblical  treatment on men and marriage that is often missing. The first message is on single men; the second on married men.

Although it’s a great series for men specifically, I think it’s good for women to listen to as well. As a woman listening, it was a good reminder of the differences that God intended for men and women in a world where they often get diminished in the name of progress, but also was a note that men have emotional needs too that God intends for women to be sensitive to in dating and marriage relationships. I think this can be challenging because of communication differences (which can sometimes seem more like chasms, lol) that can create conflict even where unintended, but, ultimately, as the man initiates communication, the woman should be sensitive to his needs and respond lovingly. I came away from the message thinking that this needs lots of practice, and can’t be accomplished without God. I’m challenged to pray more for both single and married Christian men specifically, and for Christian marriages. But above all, I rest in Proverbs 127:1 - "Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.” It makes me hopeful because, when we turn to Him, God in His power shows us how to love like He does.

God, please create – and save – our marriages; you’re the only one who always knows just what do. This is my heartfelt prayer – Amen!

You can check out part 1 here, and part 2 here, or on iTunes - Podcasts > Flatirons Community Church: Audio Podcast (Choose the one with the orange icon; there is more than one)> Men and Marriage, January 29 & February 5, 2012. It's also part of a larger series on men called "Reverse Engineering."

Facebook Quotes

I haven't had an active facebook account for a few years (since August 2009, to be exact). I decided to deactivate my account after not being thrilled that the site was no longer the tighter-knit college almmni and law school network for which I had signed up. I still log in every now and then to check out photos or view invites - and may be back on again at some point, but right now I'm content just communicating with people by text or e-mail (and the occassional phone call), or using a couple other social networks and my blog. I'm generally good at keeping in touch with people, and I figure my real friends know how to contact me outside facebook.

I was recently logged in to view pictures, however, and looked at my profile. A major feature of the "old school" facebook  profile was the "Favorite Quotes." I remember a period a few years ago when I would read quotes I liked and say "oh, I HAVE to put that on facebook!" Over time, the quotes on my page went from one or two to several, as did others'.

Looking back at my quotes, I was surprisingly fascinated by the number and quality that I had amassed. Most are verses (and, truth be told, I have countless other favorites not included, such as 1 Cor. 2:9, Jeremiah 29:11 and Romans 15:4 to name just a few, lol), but the ones that I put up had something to do with circumstances in my life at the time I added them, or express hopes or  guidance for approaching the future. There are also a few somewhat humorous ones (at least to me). I thought them all worth sharing here. I hope you gain from my facebook quotes too!

...because she judged Him faithful who had promised.
~Hebrews 11:11b

If you surrender, God's will will track you down.
~Tony Evans

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
~1 Corinthians 9:24-27

I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.
~ King David, 2 Samuel 24:18-25

Let's not forget that some of God's greatest mercies are his refusals. He says no in order that He may, in some way we cannot imagine, say yes. All His ways with us are merciful. His meaning is always love.
~Elisabeth Elliot

The [Bible was] not given to increase our knowledge but to change [us].
~D.L. Moody

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well-spring of life.
~Proverbs 4:23

Ponder the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established.
~Proverbs 4:26

Wise women understand that character is the crucial building block [for] the foundation of a well-lived life. Character is built slowly over a lifetime. It is the sum of every right decision, every honest word, every noble thought and every heartfelt prayer.
~Unknown

Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time (I really like the hot chocolate reference:)).

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
~Psalm 90:12

Never cry over someone who wouldn't cry over you.
~Lauren Conrad on The Hills, reminding me of one of my favorite quotes. It's a rule to live by, ladies!

To pray 'the prayer of faith' we must first of all study our Bibles intensely that we may know the promises of God-- what they are, how large they are, how definite they are--and just exactly what is promised.
~R.A. Torrey


I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of. For to have been thought about--born in God's thoughts--and then made by God, is the dearest, grandest, most precious thing in all thinking.
~Margaret in "David Elginbrod" by George MacDonald

...Lord, I believe; help my unbelief! ~ Mark 9:24b

Work It Out

I’ve been continuing my chronological read through the Bible. It has truly been amazing to consume the Word of God in this new way! I’m seeing connections between – and among – stories in Scripture that I had not made before. It’s really going a long way in helping me fall deeper in love with God’s Word.

If there’s a part that has really penetrated my heart most, it’s been reading through an interwoven Kings and Chronicles. During my read straight through the Old Testament last year, I was enthralled by these books. In case anyone’s unfamiliar, the four books, 1 and 2 Kings and 1 and 2 Chronicles, record the reigns of kings, roles of priests and works of prophets in Israel and, later, Judah. The 10 northern tribes remained Israel, and the rest formed Judah. The split occurred during the reign of Rehoboam, Solomon’s son, as a result of Solomon turning away from God in his older days and pursing the gods of his many wives. God had warned him not to marry them for that very reason. As a consequence of his sin, God pronounced that Israel would be torn from his family, but his posterity would still rule one tribe, Judah, because of a promise God had made to His servant David.

The Kings and Chronicles have many similarities, but also differences. They tell the stories of Israel and Judah during the same period and even cover many of the very same stories, although often from different lenses: the author of 1 and 2 Kings is concerned with the northern kingdom, Israel, and prophets there, such as Elijah and Elisha, while the Chronicler is focused on the southern kingdom, Judah, its priests and the temple, which Solomon had built.

When both accounts speak about a particular king, it is often noted whether the king “did what was right in the eyes of the Lord” (see, e.g., 2 Chronicles 14-15) or did evil (e.g., see 1 Kings 16). When a king of Judah obeyed God, he sometimes is referenced as doing right as his father, or ancestor, David did (e.g., 2 Chronicles 17:3).

In my read last year, I found myself rooting for the kings to follow God, and disappointed when they did not. This time, I was struck most by the details of each king’s life, especially those who honored God. The kings who walked with God may have had challenges, but they always experienced triumph through dependence on – and blessing from – God. The ones who did not, despite God allowing some of them to see some earthly success, ended life with an unfavorable legacy.

Of the kings who are named as following God, many did so for just part of their lives, half heartedly (e.g., 2 Chronicles Chapters 24 and 26). These “in-between” kings illustrate how, in the same life, there can be triumph in following God and defeat in choosing not to follow Him, and every day we must choose righteousness over our own ways.

Another reason the stories of kings in Israel and Judah have spoken to me is because I’ve also seen ordinary people like myself in them. The kings experienced the same emotions that we all do – being overwhelmed, scared, happy, sad, angry, doubtful – and had the same choice to seek God or go their own way that we do. One instance that stands out to me is 2 Chronicles 20,
involving Jehoshaphat, king of Judah, going to God in the presence of his people after learning that some nations were coming to wage war against them. From this story we get the oft-quoted verse, said by a priest, Jahaziel, in response to Jehoshaphat’s petition to God about what the people were to do in response: “…for the battle is not yours, but God’s” (v. 15). But Jehoshaphat’s words stood out to me more than I think they ever have. At the end of his prayer for help to God, he declares, “For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” (v. 12).

The words, “we don’t know what to do, but our eyes are on you” hit me most as I read. They reminded me not only of how I felt about a situation I was facing, but also made me think about how true that is about life: but for God, I have no idea where my life is going, or what I should do. Yet through His Word, I gain direction. Proverbs 16:25 says that there is a way that seems right to us, but in the end leads to death. We can probably all think of a decision we made that seemed good based on what we saw in front of us, but later realized that we had made a very wrong choice, with perhaps devastating consequences.

In giving us hope for avoiding wrong decisions, Psalm 119:105 says that God’s Word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. We know how vital lights are for helping us to see when it’s dark (or if we have bad vision!). In literal darkness, we have no sense of direction, and can easily stumble and hurt ourselves. That’s why we think the light bulb is such a genius invention, and feel very inconvenienced when we lose power.

In the same way, God’s Word is vital for our lives – and is the difference between light and utter darkness. There are other important ways of communicating with God, such as prayer, but reading, studying and memorizing God’s Word are also critical ways for us to gain the direction that we need to make wise choices.

Second Chronicles 20 ends in deliverance for Jehoshaphat and the people of Judah because they called on the name of the Lord. And that story, recorded in God’s Word, speaks to us today, giving us hope that when we do not know what to do, we gain courage and direction by seeking His face. Romans 15:4 always says it best for me:

4 For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. (NKJV)

The NLT also really puts this verse in relevant, now terms: “Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. And the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God’s promises to be fulfilled.”

Right now I’m on a break from the Kings and Chronicles and have hit some major and minor prophets who were around during the split kingdoms of Israel and Judah, such as Amos, Hosea, and Isaiah. I’m noticing how much they address the perils of relying on wealth rather than God. I don’t ever remember the Bible talking about rich people having vacation homes as it does in Amos 3:15 (see the full chapter for context), but it’s just more evidence of Scripture's relevance for today and usefulness for training us in righteousness!

I praise God that He pressed on me to take the awesome opportunity to read through His Word that first time – at times sweating it out in parts such as Leviticus - because it’s developed in me a deeper desire to keep doing it! And there’s nothing more profitable than a spiritual work out! It’s only fitting to end with a passage calling us to sweat it out, 1 Timothy 4:7-8:

“Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.”

A toast - to lasting reward!!!!

Eat This Book, Part II

I just had to pass on a great sermon from church yesterday called “Watch Your Diet,” part of our current “Go for the Gold” message series. It's about making every effort to maximize our walks with God to experience a profitable Christian life. As part of the series, we’ve addressed passages where the Christian life is compared to a race (and, of course, played off of the Olympics - how about TEAM USA?!?!).

This week, the guest speaker was Mike Kelsey, pastor of Frontline Silver Spring. He talked about the importance of delighting – feasting – on God’s Word rather than simply consuming it out of duty. He gave four practical tips for delighting in the Word. The message related to some thoughts that I have been sharing about the Word over the last couple years and, most recently, in my "Eat This Book" entry. Plus, Pastor Kelsey is a great Bible teacher (I actually attended undergrad with him, and he led a Bible study that was good even then!). It’s a timely message for getting us to consume more spiritual milk – and grow! Here it is: "Watch Your Diet" (And on iTunes: Podcasts > The Bridge DC > Being Victorious in Your Walk...August 12). Num Num!

Munchies In A Minute: Bible Translation, The Church and Song of Songs

I just have a few minutes, but I really wanted to pass on a few resources that have been on my mind. Per the title, here’s my attempt to write one of my shortest blog entries ever (let’s see how I do)…

A User’s Guide to Bible Translations: Making the Most of Different Versions by David Dewey – My dad got this book for me at Christmas after the conversations we’ve had about Bible translations. Previously, I’ve shared my interest in the topic, here. It’s been a really informative, in depth look at the history and methods of various Bible translations. I am about halfway through – and think it’s a great tool for doing just what the title says: making the most of different versions. I will definitely be blogging a full entry about it when I finish!

Mark Driscoll Messages: At the moment, Pastor Driscoll of Mars Hill Church in Seattle is one of my favorite pastors to listen to online (He’s the one who preached the “Real Marriage” series that I blogged about a few months ago, here). There are two more message series in particular that I've listened to recently:

"The Seven" (click here to listen): About God's letters to the seven churches in Revelation. Driscoll preaches the messages from most, if not all, of the actual church locations, and provides context about the church's current state (a number of which no longer exist, for various reasons). I’ve listened to all of the messages, which have reminded me how relevant scripture is to the church today, and the need to pray earnestly for the body of Christ! I'm also reminded of the fact that I'd like to visit some of the areas (especially Ephesus!).

"The Peasant Princess: A Love Story from The Song of Songs" (to listen, click here): A fresh take on this book, which many pastors don’t touch (although I personally have listened to a few series on the topic, along with blogging through it, so I have probably said this before while sharing different message series, lol). I’ve only started message three, but I’ve gotten a lot out of the series already. The first part of Message One is framed by the “Sex as God, Gross or Gift” perspective later shared in the “Real Marriage” Series, but most of it has different content about biblical romantic love. A highlight for me so far is Driscoll’s mention of the five love languages in the second message, one of my favorite topics, which I blogged about a few years ago, here. I think they are a great tool for relating to each other in love and communicating better.

However, in the second message, Driscoll also makes some comments about husbands, wives and working outside the home that are controversial. But the important, relevant barometer is what the Word of God says about what he says, not culture – although I can think of a few modern changes in demographics that I think he could have addressed in the context of scripture but did not, such as delayed marriage (e.g., that, statistically, people are getting married later, and the differing perspectives about the meaning of being “financially secure” and able to provide for a family that sometimes come up between men and women, for example). I also am not necessarily agreeing with the lines he has drawn; I would need to do a study specifically on this topic to know whether I agree on exactly where to draw the line, but I do agree with the underlying biblical principles he presents (which I am not going into detail about in this "minute" entry, lol). Anyway, I do still think that this message is worth listening to, and looking forward to hearing the rest of the series!

Okay, with this last topic I managed to write more than I wanted today (but I’ll still keep the title – and try again next time)! If you’d like to listen to any of the messages mentioned, just click on the link in the section above (on the web site, you'll have the option of listening to or watching each message, including from an iPhone).

As I conclude (finally), I’m reminded of 2 Peter 1: 3-11, about the need for us to constantly seek ways to “add” to our faith so that we grow in Christ and be effective for Him. Let’s constantly consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Feel free to share other resources – and happy listening, and reading!

All This Time

Recently I've been killing this CD by Christian pop artist Britt Nicole called Gold. As I've said here, I've loved pop for years - even through my transition to listening primarily to Christian music (although modern worship has replaced it as my favorite genre!). Gold is truly Pop Praise Prowess.

Just some of the great songs are "Ready or Not," featuring Christian hip-hop artist Lecrae, about followers of Christ showing the world where our light comes from. There's also "Who You Say You Are," an acknowledgement that Jesus is the God that He claimed to be, alluding to His exchange with Peter in Matthew 16. Then there's "Stand," about resting on God's promises, that takes inspiration from the classic hymn "On Christ the Solid Rock.”

But the song that prompted this entry is the hit single "All This Time." It captures so well the friend and Savior that we have in Jesus - and conveys my feelings about my relationship with the greatest Father and Friend.

"All This Time" has a touching backstory. It's Britt Nicole’s testimony of coming to know Christ at age seven after learning that her parents were getting a divorce and how God has walked with her since. Reflecting on the experience, she sings, "...I was only a girl but I grew up that day. Tears were falling, I know You saw me." The chorus continues, "All this time, from the first tear cried 'til today's sunrise and every single moment between, You were there, You were always there, it was You and I, you've been walking with me all this time." Part of another verse says, "You're the God who sees, the God who rescued me, this is my story."

The references to the tears and the God who sees relate to the story of Hagar in the Old Testament. As commonly known, Hagar was the maidservant of Sarah (then Sarai), wife of the patriarch Abraham (then Abram). Although God had promised Abraham and Sarah a child and many descendants (Genesis 15), many years passed before the promise was fulfilled. In the long interim, Sarah decided to help God fulfill His promise by having her maidservant give birth to a child for her (Gen. 16: 1-3).

In historical context, women with some means who could not have children, or women who did not have sons, often called on their slaves to bear children for them. This required the husband to take on the slave as a "wife." By this "union," the child borne by the slave would then be considered, in some respect, the child of the first wife. Chronological Study Bible, pp. 28-29 (which is at least akin to a slave wife fulfilling a contractual duty, not engaging in a covenant marriage with the husband of her mistress as we would describe a genuine marriage today).

The Bible records two occasions in particular where Hagar and Sarah became divided over the arrangement. The first was after Hagar became pregnant. Genesis 16:4 says, "and when [Sarai] saw that [Hagar] had conceived, her mistress became despised in her eyes"(NKJV). Hagar decided to flee (v. 6). While she was in the wilderness, the Angel of the Lord, generally believed to be God himself, visited her in the desert. The Angel of the Lord told her to return to her mistress’ home, and ensured a future for her son and his descendants. In response, Hagar said,“You are the God who sees me...I have now seen the One who sees me” (v. 13). The God Who Sees Me often is repeated today in Hebrew as a name for God, El Roi (EL raw-EE). Praying the Names of God: A Daily Guide by Ann Spangler (2004).

The second time Hagar was forced out occurred after both her son, Ishmael, and Isaac, the son that God had promised to Abraham and Sarah, were born, as told in Genesis 21. After Sarah told her to go, Hagar took Ishmael and left, ending up in the desert. Again she felt alone - and sure that her son would die. She distanced herself from him and began to cry, as did her son (v.17). And, again, God heard their cries, and responded (vv. 17-21).

Hagar's story – and Britt's in "All This Time"- thousands of years apart, are such powerful examples of God's love for every single one of us. That the God of the Universe would hear the cries of ordinary people whom the world largely sees as small - children and a servant– and across ages – is such a testament to His steady, unchanging character! And there are so many more examples in God's Word of His care for each life. In Matthew 10:30, Jesus says that the very hairs on our head are numbered. In Psalm 139, one of my favorite passages, it says that we are not even hidden from God at the time of our conception; even then, He sees our unformed bodies.

As I listened to "All This Time," I also have shed my own tears just thinking about what a comforter, companion and King that God has been to me for so many years. When I recall the many times I've cried out to God in low and high moments - and how I've seen Him work wonders as a result, I can't help but feel His nearness in such a deep way. I am so blessed to have people close to me, especially my family, who have been with me through a myriad of experiences. Yet no one is quite like Jesus.

He's The One who always gets me - never misunderstands, knows just what I'm thinking -better than me, and before I think it. He's The One who is never too busy, too spent, too human - to connect with me. He's The One who always guides me in the right direction and loves me, no matter what. I love how my cries reach His ears, and He answers them at times and in ways that I don't even expect; He always makes something beautiful out of my intimate moments with Him. I love that He always encourages me to know Him more, so that I can live in the abundance He has for me. I love that His plans for me are always excellent, giving me hope and a future. I love that He's given me an entire book of promises that I can rely on. Gosh, His love is just so overwhelming -beyond anything I can ask or imagine! And I really love Him back for it - because He first loved me!

Proverbs 18:24 says, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (NIV). The second part of the verse, that there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother, is the part that makes me think of Jesus. I have really great brothers - the best brothers ever, I'd say, but even they are not quite like Friend Jesus. And no other companion ever can be.

There's another line in Britt's song that really stands out to me. It goes, "I hear these people asking me, how do I know what I believe? Well I'm not the same me, and it's all the proof I need. I've found love, I've found your grace, you stole my heart that day."

There was a time when I had a hard time saying that I love God. It wasn't because I didn't have a positive emotional reaction to Him, but because, at the time, I was not sure how devoted in my heart that I was to God. When I was about to start college, things did not go the way I wanted them to, and I remember getting upset with God. I journaled thoughts to Him that I read about a year later that made me cry. Although I don't remember the exact words I wrote down (I probably blocked them out), I do remember expressing anger at God for not having my way over something that, in retrospect, seemed so small.

A verse that often comes to mind when I think about loving God, and did after that incident, is John 14:15: “If you love me, you will obey what I command.” God does not define love as a feeling, but as true, heartfelt obedience. The God of the Universe created us in His image, and gave us a heart like His. He wants nothing less than all of it. My attitude then just reminded me that I wasn't giving Him all of it. For years after that I hesitated when saying I love Him, because I wondered if my heart was truly devoted to Him.

But now, I thank God so much for those moments that I cried out to Him, even in the wrong way, because today He's turned them into sunrise. I praise Him because today He has so much more of my heart, and I can truly say how much I do love Him. He's given me so many moments through which I've come to a deeper understanding of how dependent I am on Him for my every breath. I’ve especially seen it in how much more I turn to Him, not people or myself, for resolutions to conflict. In many ways, I've redirected my expectations for people to God, and given my grievances with others to Him for fixing, knowing that He's the only one who can make the changes - in them, and in me. It is so liberating to put hope in God rather than others!

Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend, thank you so much for walking with me all this time - from my first tear until today's sunrise. In so many moments, it’s been just me and You. I feel Your closeness more and more. Thank you for guiding me - showing me what to do. Thank you so very much for seeing me. And thank you for never leaving - not now - or even into eternity. My heart is yours.

Check out "All This Time" and Gold, by Britt Nicole.

EAT THIS BOOK

I’m sharing an updated testimony about how God is using Bible reading in my life. I borrowed the title of this entry from my brother, whose church is currently doing a sermon series called “Eat this Book”, about studying the Word of God. It’s also a church-wide challenge to read through the Bible in one year. I blogged last year about my church doing the “New Thru 30” program, a 30-day read through the New Testament, which was the catalyst for me reading through the Bible for the first time.

As I’ve said previously, “New Thru 30” is billed as a “P90X” for spiritual fitness – it helps you develop the discipline to read more of God’s Word daily, consume the complete counsel of God’s Word rather than just picking certain parts you’d rather read, and helps you see the big picture of redemption in a way that you don’t get from reading individual passages.

New Thru 30 truly revolutionized the way I consume Scripture. After I finished it and then the Old Testament, I vowed to make reading through the Bible a constant endeavor. I ended up focusing on a couple other topical studies for the rest of 2011, but decided to start off 2012 with New Thru 30 again. This time, I did a book club (called “The Best Book Club,” for the fact that we read The Best Book ever written, of course)! We read individually, but shared our experiences by e-mail and in a couple group meetings.

It was another profitable read. This time around, God pressed on my heart the personal testimonies of disciples who walked with Jesus while He was on earth and then were pivotal in the launch of the early church and the spread of The Gospel. I came to appreciate even more the life and witness of John, the apostle of love. It reminded me that God is writing a special story for my life too – and the lives of all believers- and He wants to use ordinary people like us to share His Message in unimaginable ways. I am so excited to be part of His kingdom!

The Next Meal

The spiritual toning from New Thru 30 helped me dive into my current Bible reading challenge, which is going through the Word of God in one year using The Chronological Study Bible, published by Thomas Nelson. As I read through the Old Testament last year and saw how several books appeared to overlap or repeat, especially stories in the Kings and Chronicles and Ezra and Nehemiah, I thought it would be interesting to see how they fit in historical order. About that time I saw my dad with the Study Bible and decided to get it as well.

The read’s been great so far! The biblical scholars who organized The Chronological Study Bible point out that trying to rearrange the Bible in time order – which included transplanting particular chapters from within books of the Bible - is a “fallible human effort.” There is disagreement among biblical scholars about when events occurred; there are often accepted ranges within a period of time in which a book, or specific chapters within books, could have been written, but not certainty about precise dates, and the dates of other books are believed to be unknown or defy chronology. The Chronological Study Bible, page xi. The authors provide some insightful introductory comments about the purpose of a read through an imperfectly organized chronological text:

If we are to understand and appropriate the Bible’s message today, we need some sense of the historical and cultural context in which its diverse parts appeared…One goal of The Chronological Study Bible is to help readers join the scholars’ quest for biblical truth…[Another point is that] Historical events are often the Bible’s subject matter, but these events are always reported from a particular perspective. That perspective is theological history. It is in the arena of history that God has chosen to make himself known…The Old Testament was the Bible of the New Testament writers...History writing in the New Testament is certainly theological history. The authors believed that the purpose and meaning of history could be found in Christ. There, the history of what they wrote was salvation history. God’s earlier saving works [seen in the Old Testament] looked forward to the Cross. pp. x, xi-xii.

I found these and other comments in the introductory section so enlightening. I am enamored by the fact that we can see the Bible as God giving us revelation about Himself through history – theological history, and this perspective can guide us into a greater understanding of His purposes, ways and will. That God orchestrated events recorded in His Word that reveal His character – and His plan to save humanity – makes every word so essential, life giving. It illuminates what the psalmist said about God’s Word in Psalm 19: 7-8:

“The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple. The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes.”

The Word of God truly is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path!

Minding My Munch

I've found this biblical chrono-theo-history thing is like, super awesome! The organization of The Chronological Study Bible puts the books Genesis – Ruth in almost the exact same order as in the traditional Bible, with the exception of probably just a psalm associated with Moses, Psalm 90 (there may be a couple other differences, but none that I recall or can see from a quick look back). However, starting in 1 Samuel, chapters and books start to get rearranged in very fascinating ways.

I’m currently near the end of the stories in 1 Samuel, which focus on Saul, King of Israel, and future King David. Intertwined are psalms that relate to events in David’s life that were occurring in 1 Samuel. Right now I’m reading about David running from Saul, who started seeking David’s life after the prophet Samuel told Saul that the kingdom would be taken from him as a result of his failure to obey God (1 Samuel 15:10-35). The psalms that are associated with these events are inserted at relevant points in the story.

For example, after 1 Samuel 24:1-22, when David spares Saul’s life when their paths cross while Saul is in pursuit of David, Psalms 57 and 142, prayers for relief from David's enemies, follow. Several other similar psalms are included throughout David’s story (As often noted, David is believed to have written several psalms, and many others are at least associated with his experiences, if not written by him. However, these psalms still account for just about half of the 150 psalms).

The mix of 1 Samuel with several psalms is really bringing David’s story into focus. Through the order I’m really grasping the trials that David experienced in the period between the time he was anointed king (1 Samuel 16) and his actual coronation. The psalms intertwined in this section, whether they were actually written by David or not, really illustrate the despair that he experienced at times during the wait. At one point while on the run from Saul, 1 Samuel 27:1 says, “And David said in his heart, 'Now I shall perish someday by the hand of Saul. There is nothing better for me than that I should speedily escape to the land of the Philistines; and Saul will despair of me, to seek me anymore in any part of Israel. So I shall escape out of his hand.'” (NKJV). David spends about one year and four months living under the Philistines, who were then among Israel’s enemies (Psalm 27:7).

That verse, in the context, really struck me. It was such a reminder of the fact that there can be a lot of uncertain, scary times in waiting for God’s promises to be fulfilled – even when we know they will be in the future. In the chapter, the Bible does not say anything of David getting ahead of God or being sinful for aligning with the Philistines; in fact, a commentary I reviewed briefly, despite mentioning that David did not know then that Saul had actually stopped pursing him, still notes David's decision as one that kept him from any more danger from Saul’s pursuit and gave him the opportunity to gain “combat and leadership skills.” The Bible Knowledge Commentary, p. 453. While David waited, he still felt fear, and perhaps doubt. Yet God used the wait as a way to strengthen him for his predetermined assignment of king.

A principle from this story is so pivotal to apply in our times of waiting: even in our fear about the future, God will accomplish whatever He has promised. Our only responsibility it to be obedient to His will even in the doubt and seize the opportunities for growth that God gives us as we wait. David never tried to jump ahead of God by killing Saul – even when he had a clear opportunity to do so. Instead, he made vengeance God’s, gave his fear to God and did what he could without interfering with God’s timing for fulfilling His promise. That's how we should approach our waiting times!

Filling Up

As I continue the chronological read, I’m looking forward to consuming more of God’s Word in sizable quantities! I will share more thoughts about what I’m learning periodically.

Also, if you’re not getting your daily meal of the Word, or need a healthier serving, check out YouVersion.com and the accompanying Bible app! There are hundreds of reading plans, from a few-day topical studies to read-through-the-Bible programs that take just a few months up to two years.

I also recommend The Chronological Study Bible, presented here (Family Christian Bookstore often sells it, and other Bibles, for half off - I got it there for about $27). In addition to the reorganization according to time periods (referred to as “Epochs”), it contains very useful synopses about the historical and cultural context of events throughout scripture and passage summaries that consider the theological history perspective. Whatever studies we choose, it’s essential that we EAT THIS BOOK!

My Mom and Dad (All About Jesus)

This is a very impromptu, unedited blog entry that I have little time for at the moment (should be in bed so I can wake up for an extra-early work day), but I just felt compelled to share what’s on my heart in thankfulness to God. It will be pretty rough – stream of consciousness style somewhat, but I am going for it. The topic: my awesome parents...
I just got off the phone with my little brother (aka my protégé!). We ended up talking about why our parents are so great. I’ll admit that it did not start out that way. I think we began talking about law school (which my protégé is currently attending) and then got into a conversation about my mom. I'll concede that I started the conversation mentioning a little tiff we had the day before. But somehow it turned into how even the spat was an example of how caring she is. Then I think my brother mentioned something about my mom and dad complementing each other as a couple, and then we just kept talking from there. I’d agree, and say something else good about them, and then my brother would, and so on. Before I knew it, we had been trading compliments about them for a good half hour!

I’ll say beforehand that these are things that I have come to appreciate more as an adult. I think it’s often much easier to relate to your parents as a grown up, especially when they are at least generally pleased with how you turned out. It’s also a chance to see more of their personalities when they’re not scurrying to get you to all your extracurriculars or make sure you eat all your vegetables. Here are just a few of the things I want to say in

1. They love Jesus.


As I’ve said many times before, my parents were never about religion, but about knowing God and living for Him. Even in the earliest memories of growing up, my dad has always studied the Word of God and taught us to do so too. My parents put my first Scripture memory book in my hands at age three, and we’d spend hours studying the Bible as a family. My parents also sent us sent us to Christian schools from even the early years when my dad was a full-time grad student and wasn’t supposed to be able to afford it. Yet they sent us there in faith, knowing that God would provide. And he always did. My mom taught us about always doing the right thing even when no one is looking, and modeled the importance of prayer. They put their faith far above their culture, and we all saw it as the most important influence in their words and deeds.


2. They have an awesome relationship.


I appreciate this so much more as a grown up (I also think it’s been rejuvenated by having adult children and more time for each other!). I’ve never once seen my dad raise his voice at my mom, hit her or otherwise disrespect her. He never lords over her, but leads gently. My mom also is the picture of what it looks like to be submissive but still have a strong, opinionated personality. As my brother pointed out in our conversation today, they really do complement each other so well! I feel like whenever such praise about a marriage is expressed there’s some unwritten rule (or maybe it's on the books somewhere) that you’re supposed to say “but all marriage is hard and work, and nothing is perfect.” But honestly, I’m not compelled to qualify it that way (other than the fact that I mentioned that statement!). Of course there are hard times – but that’s life! Yet when two people make Jesus central and then each other, and really live it, it brings God glory, and they can’t be separated. That’s my mom and dad!


3. They’re some of the greatest humans you’ll ever meet (this is inexplicably linked to number 1).


Growing up people used to always say that my parents were really nice. I used to look at those folks as if they were aliens. They were strict (although not how you might think since they grew up in another culture, in Nigeria), but now I’ve seen much more of their niceness. My dad is one of the most genuine and open people who can do really great things for people to share the love of God and meet others needs and really does not care if the recipients have wrong motives in return. He’s really learned to see people the way God sees them. He has such as heart for missions and evangelism, and share his faith in love everywhere he goes. He never gives up on anyone. My mom is one of the kindest, caring people I have ever met and knows how to use words to pep you up like a tough-talking coach would, but also to build you up. She also loves to give and be hospitable, and is just really fun. Both of them are totally dedicated to serving God. NICE!

4. They don’t look back.


If you meet them, you’d never know what they’ve experienced in their lives, although both have had tough times while they were growing up that easily could have affected them negatively – and their kids. But when they made a choice to follow Jesus, they really meant it. As the Apostle Paul said in Philipians 3, they forgot what was behind and looked forward to their calling in Christ. And they’re so free!

5. They’re leaders, not followers.

Since I was a child, I’ve seen my parents take a stand for righteousness even when it was unpopular. I’ve even seen them ridiculed for it. Yet I’ve also seen those same folks come around through my parents’ example. And they welcome them still.

My parents aren’t perfect – but they are saints, as are all followers of Christ. They have made such a difference in my siblings, and in their communities and beyond. I don’t know why I am so blessed to be born to them, but I accept it as a wonderful gift from God. As I grow up, I want to be just like them - and their Jesus.

(Orchestrated yawn) Bedtime...

The Truth (on Love)

I’m sharing another message series – this one from Mark Driscoll, Pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle. It’s based on the book he and his wife recently wrote called Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship and Life Together. After I saw the book featured at Family Christian Bookstore a few weeks ago, I went online to get more information about it and found that Driscoll had preached the accompanying message series earlier this year. It’s one of the best on marriage that I’ve listened to – perhaps ever (as I say frequently)!

The title of the book sums up the 11-week series. It’s a candid, biblically based treatment of marriage that is still beneficial for both married and single people. He really does preach the truth of God’s Word, without compromise, so expect to hear it! Every message is worth listening to, but there are a few that stood out for me:

Part 3: Men and Marriage – I really like the perspective this message provides about the role of the man as head of the family and how he should treat his wife. It also presents a beautiful picture of marriage as God intends.

Part 4: The Respectful Wife – Provides very good advice about submission in marriage, that loaded topic that never ceases to cause a stir. It addresses the meaning of women respecting their husbands – and ways to disrespect him that are not always addressed. I really benefitted from the teaching!

Part 6: Sex: God, Gross or Gift? - This one is perhaps my favorite! Driscoll presents three views of sex, embodied by the sermon title. Sex as God is when we make it an idol and engage in it outside God’s boundaries. Gross is when we see it as something disgusting that God did not create. Sex as a gift is when we have a healthy view of it and save it for God’s boundaries (my pastor actually referred to this chapter the day after I had listened to it in another great message on the topic – to me confirmation that God was really speaking to me through it!). As I listened, I felt Driscoll’s preaching on sex as a gift goes with my testimony that I’ve shared many times here about the importance of learning to embrace God’s design for sex in a world where it is distorted, even among Christians. I thank God I am still learning about the meaning of sex as a gift!

I also appreciate the statement Driscoll makes that, in marriage, God does not give you a “type,” but a spouse. That person is then your standard of beauty, and that’s what you have to be into (e.g., if he or she is short, you’re into short; if tall, tall; if he or she “used to be skinny,” then that’s what you’re into. Love that!). The message is a great way to gain insight into how to renew your mind in the area of sex!

Part 8: The Porn Path – Yes, it’s about pornography, and the teaching is awesome. The message is actually intertwined with the testimony of a woman formerly in the porn industry. Several sad statistics about Christians and pornography are also included – which I had also just come across a couple days before while researching for an upcoming sexual purity event that I’m hosting with some friends (another reason I felt God brought this series to my attention). Driscoll gives very sound biblical advice for overcoming porn addiction – and addiction to other sexual sin. He notes that it’s about much more than just changing a behavior, but changing your desires by learning to worship Jesus wholeheartedly. He uses a line that I totally believe in and will probably be saying forever: “Your theology can conquer your biology.”

Part 10: “Can We____________?” - Practically, this message is for married people, but principally is for everyone. It addresses how couples should set sexual boundaries in marriage. I appreciated the theological framework presented for approaching these issues in marriage. Embracing the teaching as insight into God’s design for sex, but also filing it away…

Okay, I pretty much mentioned half of the series, more than I intended, but it’s that good!

Almost all of the messages also include a Q&A with Pastor Driscoll and his wife, Grace, during which questions from churchgoers are answered. I appreciate their honest and biblically sound responses to the inquiries.

In John 8: 31-32, Jesus said: “...If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

When we follow Jesus wholeheartedly, He reveals His Truth to us. And oh, it is liberating…

Check out the messages online here, or on iTunes for free, Podcasts > Mars Hill Church : Mark Driscoll Audio > January 16 – March 25, 2012.

Happy listening!

BROKEN

I had no intention of blogging today, but the message we had at church provided me with thoughts to share...

Today we just started a series at church called “Out of the Loop,” about breaking “generational cycles” of sin, or detrimental habits that are passed down in families. These are sometimes referred to as “generational curses,” but I have never been comfortable with that terminology (or “theology,” perhaps). As my pastor actually puts it, Jesus Christ became the “curse” for us by dying on the cross, so there is no longer any curse.

Galatians 3:13-14 says, "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: 'Cursed is everyone who is hung on a pole.' He redeemed us in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit."

Because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, we are no longer hopelessly destined to repeat the sins of our forefathers. Christ is the answer to overcoming “hand-me-down” sins: there is no other “secret” or mystery to stopping these cycles. When we choose to follow Him wholeheartedly, the sins of our parents, and their parents, will not determine our destiny.

In Joshua 24, Joshua, who led the Israelites into the Promised Land, said this to them about how to overcome the sins of their parents:

“Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” (vv. 14-15)

In the familiar story of Joshua and Caleb, after God led the Israelites out of Egypt, Moses sent them and ten other men as spies to survey the occupied land of Canaan that God had promised to the Israelites (Numbers 13). Although the 12 agreed that the land was good, flowing “with milk and honey” (v. 27), except for Joshua and Caleb, the others did not believe that they could overtake the land because of the size and strength of the people living there (vv. 28-33). The Israelites decided to listen to the naysayers rather than Joshua and Caleb, even wanting to stone the two to death (Numbers 14: 1- 10).

As a result of that generation's unbelief, they faced God's punishment as the consequence of their sin:

"Because they have not followed me wholeheartedly, not one of the men twenty years old or more who came up out of Egypt will see the land I promised on oath to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob— not one except Caleb son of Jephunneh the Kenizzite and Joshua son of Nun, for they followed the LORD wholeheartedly.’ The LORD’s anger burned against Israel and he made them wander in the desert forty years, until the whole generation of those who had done evil in his sight was gone" (Numbers 32: 11-13).

In one generation, two people chose to follow God, lived and experienced His blessing; in the very same generation the others chose not to, died and failed to experience blessing.

Fast forward to Jesus’ death and resurrection, and we have complete freedom to follow God and experience true life. In Galatians 5:1, the Apostle Paul says to the church, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Because Jesus liberated us from sin by becoming that curse for us, we need only choose to live for Him and see any sin cycle of our past broken.

One reason the message of Jesus as the answer to ending generational cycles of sin resonates with me is my own history. I’m not saying that my heritage is all negative – I can think of past decisions that were made which impacted me positively. But, as with many families, there have been sins handed down that I could have inherited – but for the choice that my parents made to end them. Aside from the fact that I am geographically distant from most of my family, I have also seen how my parents’ decision to follow Christ wholeheartedly has detached me and my siblings from the pain and consequences that can come with generational cycles. Through my parents’ example, we were able to learn what it means to follow Jesus for ourselves. Now, God willing, we will have our own posterity that will continue to make the same choice to live in Christ.

As each generation chooses to follow God, He promises this:

“But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children— with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts” (Psalm 103: 17-18).

Some people put a lot of stock in family upbringing or history as the sum of a person’s potential. If a person comes from a “good” family, he or she will be “good”; if a person comes from a “bad” family, they will only make it so far. And some people who have been directly affected by generational cycles feel that they are doomed, or “cursed,” to repeat them.

But, as Scripture shows, in just one generation, things can go from bad to good – or even good to bad. What matters is that, individually, we make the choice to follow Jesus, regardless of our pasts. There may be challenges to breaking generational sin cycles, but because of what Jesus did on the cross, we are able to overcome even the worst of them.

I love testimonies of people in the Body of Christ who are surrounded by familial chaos choosing to break the cycle. I love it when followers of Christ don’t define themselves by the sins of their mother, father, grandparents or great grandparents. I love when we let the truth of God’s Word saturate our minds and fill our hearts, so that we are not conformed to the patterns of our world.

On Resurrection Sunday – and always, let’s remember that Jesus triumphed over sin so that we would not have to wallow in it. There are no familial cycles that have to enslave us. As we choose to break free by the power of the blood that brings light and covers us from all sin when we walk in it, we’ll see even generations after us reap the benefits of freedom in Christ.

You can check out messages from “Out of the Loop” here, or on iTunes, for free (Podcasts > The Bridge DC). There will be a new message of the series each week between now and May 20.

Jesus, thank you for overcoming the grave to give us true life!

"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." ~ Jesus. (John 10:10, NKJV).

The Good News

Good Friday is my favorite day of the year to reflect on the Cross. I like to mediate on songs and verses that highlight the wonderful gift of eternal life that was given to us at Golgotha. But I also just like to daydream about the meaning of the Cross. When it’s warm enough, and the tree pollen isn’t thick in the air, on Good Friday I go to my favorite spot in nature to consider Calvary (unfortuantely, not this year!).

There is usually one truth that stands out to me. This year it’s the fact that The Gospel, embodied in the Cross, has brought us the good news of eternal life that we are to share with the whole world.

I love hearing The Gospel described as “the good news.” I think it brings to life just how amazing and significant Jesus’ death was to free us from the bondage of sin. Colossians 2:13-15 says,

When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.

What an awesome picture of victory in Jesus!

The Bible refers to The Gospel as “the good news” on several occasions when it was shared by early Christians in the New Testament. The reference that most warms my heart is in the story of Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch in Acts 8.

The Holy Spirit had led Philip down a desert road where he would encounter the eunuch, an important government official who was religious but had not yet heard The Gospel. The eunuch had just gone to Jerusalem to worship, indicating that he believed in the God of the Jews, Yahweh. The Bible Knowledge Commentary, New Testament, p. 374. He had stopped on the road and was reading Scripture aloud, as was customary in the day. He read a prophecy about Jesus’ death in Isaiah 53:7,8.

As Philip approached him, he asked the eunuch if he understood what he was reading (v. 30), to which he replied, “How can I, unless someone explains it to me?” (v. 31). Verse 35 includes the special words: “Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture and told him the good news about Jesus." The Bible says that shortly after Philip explained The Gospel, the eunuch received it and rejoiced (vv. 36-39).

Acts, and the letters to the churches (Epistles) in the New Testament, tell the story of people who were going about their lives as usual when they heard the good news. There was Cornelius in Acts 10, the Italian military officer who was also God fearing. He was introduced to The Gospel by the Apostle Peter, who had to overcome his own prejudice to share it with him. There also was Lydia in Acts 16, a businesswoman who had also been a worshipper of God. And there were people who, in some cases, had settled into married life and then came to trust Christ, while their spouses still had not. And we cannot forget the Apostle Paul, who was going about persecuting Christians when he encountered God – and his eyes were opened to the good news.

The converts in the early church in many ways represent us. At the Holy Spirit’s direction, someone told these people in various walks of life about the message of the cross, and, at the Spirit’s leading, they believed – just like someone had to tell us the good news so we could believe.

And in Scripture we read about the challenges and triumphs the early church had as they learned what it meant to follow Jesus daily after conversion. Because of the good news, they could experience the life change found only in Jesus – and we can experience the same difference today.

The cross is a gift that we are meant to keep sharing! Just as followers of Christ in the New Testament spread the good news to whole world, so we, as little Christs, are commanded to do the same.

There are so many people out there, going about life as usual, whom God wants to transform with the power of The Gospel. He wants us to proclaim it to our coworkers, classmates, friends, family – even strangers! He wants them to know that, while they were still sinners, Christ died for them.

Over the last couple years God has really been convicting me to share my faith more. I’ll have to do a full entry another day about how God is working on me in this area, but on this Good Friday I can say that I am becoming obsessed with seizing the opportunities we get every day to voice the good news.

I just finished listening to the audio version of the book- and Movement, called “I am Second,” which tells the stories of how ordinary people (though some famous) gave their lives to Christ and have experienced abundant life in Jesus by putting Him at the center of their lives. I want to see these changes happen in people around me, too!

The Gospel – the Cross – is good, good news – the BEST news. So good that we should never keep it to ourselves.

GOODIES

I just wanted to pass on a few good resources that I’ve been meditating on recently...

“LOVE BIRDS”

This is a 5-part message series from my pastor on pitfalls in marriage that both married and single people should avoid. The premise is that two people who were originally “love birds” can enter a marriage and become “angry birds.” He addresses 15 landmines, or pitfalls, such as the Desperation, Finance and Romance Traps, and provides practical, godly solutions for avoiding or overcoming each. The series offers hope for married and single people alike.

"Love Birds," which we just ended this past Sunday, has been loads of fun at our church too – we had a set design based on the popular “Angry Birds” game - complete with game characters, and we had people dressed up in angry bird costumes (I personally had never played the game – I generally don’t do games – but it was cool learning about it through planning for the series with our creative team!).

Both the sermon notes and the messages are available here. Or, you can get the sermons on iTunes, Podcasts > The Bridge DC > Love Birds, Parts 1-5.

“WORSHIP,” PART 5

This is a great message on worship from Miles McPherson, Pastor of The Rock Church in San Diego. I like the whole five-part series, but for me this message in particular, "Worship as a Weapon," really captured the meaning of exalting God. I think it’s especially useful for evaluating whether we are truly, authentically worshipping God for who He is.

You can access the Part 5 message here and the whole series here, or on iTunes, Podcasts > The Rock Church - Weekend Messages (Miles McPherson) > Worship.

"GREY MATTER," PART 2

Another message series, this one from Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church on what to do in situations when the voice of God does not seem clear. This never ceases to be a hot topic in Christian circles! Another very practical message. It's titled "Beat the Devil...Meet the Press" (you'll have to listen to get it, lol). You can do so here, or download on iTunes, Podcasts > Elevation Church: Charlotte, NC > Grey Matter, Part 2.

JAMIE GRACE CD

I’ve been killing this CD called One Song at a Time by contemporary Christian artist Jamie Grace. I saw it for months at the Christian bookstore before I finally decided to get it, and I’m glad I did!

One Song at a Time is comprised of catchy songs on themes such as loving God and others, identity and self worth, and waiting. I am no musician, but from what I gather, her sound can be described as pop-folk-soul. Right now my favorite tracks are “Show Jesus” (although I take slight issue with one line), on doing just that, and "You Lead," about trusting God with your life. I also give a nod to “God Girl” for my teen girls group (it has a timely “facebook” reference in particular!). The song “Hold Me” (featuring Toby Mac, for those familiar), is also a hit on Christian charts.

MUNCH!

Colossians 3:2 says that we should set our minds on things above, not on earthly things. Thank God for the many sweet ways that we can digest His truth!

THE KISS

I've been having a lot of conversations with other Christians about kissing recently. How it fits into setting boundaries in romantic relationships. The one that most inspired this entry was a discussion about a couple in the news who saved the very first kiss that either had ever had for marriage.

You may have seen the kiss. It had originally aired sometime in late 2011 advertising the TLC show Virgin Diaries. Apparently the kiss spread on YouTube and was reported in the news, although I had missed it.

In our conversation, some had commented that the kiss was quite unattractive, sloppy and inappropriate. I learned that the couple were lampooned for the display. In the headlines, the keyword for the kiss was "awkward."

Without having seen the kiss (which I was quick to admit), I defended the couple's right to express themselves with an unattractive and sloppy kiss as an appropriate display. I noted that it would not be abnormal for two people who had never locked lips not to look good doing so. Also, not knowing their theology, I could not speak to their motivation, but I did think of it as a bold, counter cultural way to take a stand for their values - and likely biblical purity.

I did later see the kiss - and an interview with the couple responding to buzz over it. I can admit that the kiss was not an attractive sight to behold. But I could still stand by my comment that they were not inappropriate for having it.

A highlight from the interview with the couple was their comment that on some level they were surprised at the public response to their kiss when, in fact, they were aware of people all over who were making the same choice. I immediately thought of Worth the Wait Revolution and the fact that so many people who are part of the revolution had made the commitment not to kiss anyone again until their wedding day also, even if they had kissed others in the past. Worth the Wait is part of a movement in which Christians specifically are taking a radical stance to live purity in a way that the rest of the world - and at times other Christians - just can't understand.

I also couldn't help but reflect on my story. At 26, I made a commitment to save all my kisses for marriage. I've spoken some on this blog about why I pursue purity, and specifically why anyone would possibly save kissing for marriage, but I have never devoted an entire entry to “Why I Believe in Saving Kissing for Marriage.” This is that entry.

Heading There

I never set out on my purity journey declaring that I wanted to save kissing for marriage. As I’ve said before, although I first made a commitment to purity in junior high -- and believed that a kiss should be “more special” than people often made it out to be, I still planned to do it before marriage.

By the time I had spent a couple years in college, however, and had a few encounters where I had the opportunity to kiss guys but chose to pull away, I realized I only wanted to kiss after at least a few months of dating a guy who fit my God-given vision for a mate. For the next few years after, “I’m not kissing until I’m in a committed, God-honoring relationship” pretty much became my line.

Deciding.

My decision to save all my kisses for marriage happened in late 2008. That also was the year that I became affiliated with Worth the Wait. About that time, and into the next year, I spent time really asking God to give me a deeper understanding of purity. In particular, there are three reflections (with several “sub reflections,” lol) that compelled me to make the commitment, which I’ll share.

No In Between

First, I came to understand that the only relationship I had ever wanted was one leading to marriage for God's glory, and I was only willing to date guys to whom I could be married. I wasn't compelled to be in a relationship for companionship, happiness, or so I could experience physical pleasure. Granted, those were all things I wanted in a marriage, but they had never been worth sacrificing God's plans for me - which was why in the past I was never able to sacrifice my vision to date someone who did not meet the standard.

I also was reminded of the vision God had already given me, which I was waiting for: A man who shared my spiritual convictions and beliefs, was radically committed to Jesus and showed unconditional love. A man with whom I could have a companionship with mutual challenging and encouragement to be more like Jesus. The kind of man whose spiritual judgment I could trust to raise our children to know the Word of God, love God, and to be even more whole-hearted ambassadors for Jesus than ourselves. The man who understood God's design for marriage – and could be committed to the kind of marriage that others would be able to look at and give God glory.

I knew that, until that day, in the waiting and uncertainty, I did not want to be detoured by the dangers that can come when physical lines are ridden or crossed in dating. I also knew that interaction before marriage establishes the direction for the marriage. I truly came to believe that I am so dependent on God for a wonderful marriage that I did not want any interaction with my future husband before marriage to add any unnecessary challenges to living matrimony for His glory. I had seen all the pitfalls that often came with kissing – and other like contact – and I was just not willing to risk falling into them. Refraining from kissing would be one of a few powerful ways to avoid them.

His Honor, His Plan

Related to that, I also wanted to make the commitment not to kiss in full obedience to God. I reflected on a common instruction from Christian leaders that a dating couple should set physical boundaries in their relationship based on what the "weaker” person can handle. For example, if one party cannot handle kissing without wanting to go any farther but the other can, there should be no kissing, but if both can handle kissing, kissing on some level is okay; if anyone cannot handle holding hands, even that should be off limits.

While I appreciate that direction for the fact that it aligns with the principle that we should base our standards on what will honor God rather than what the world says is "no big deal," I also felt that it presented a problem: in order to know where your boundary is, you have to come at least somewhat close to crossing it.

Despite the fact that I had never kissed anyone, I had experienced being aroused by someone else without having touched that person. I think arousal is a natural part of being attracted to someone else - in fact, I think it's fair to say that arousal is what leads to physicality. However, I had no idea how aroused I could possibly get without acting on my arousal. Perhaps I could be okay kissing someone else and not going any farther, but perhaps I would not be.

‘Not Even A Hint’

Scripture also came to mind as I thought about the “weaker party” instruction and where to draw the line. Ephesians 5:3 says, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”

Not even a hint – that’s a pretty high standard! What I took from the passage was that I should avoid putting myself in any situation that could even sorta-kinda seem impure. Being honest with myself, I had looked forward to kissing someone else in dating to satisfy my flesh rather than as an ingredient for cultivating a God-honoring relationship. And with the standard that there should not even be a hint of sexual immorality, I decided I did not want to take the chance of dishonoring God in kissing. Perhaps I could avoid dishonoring God doing it at least some of the time – but I could not say that I would always be seeking to honor God by kissing. With that realized, I decided to give up the idea of doing so before marriage.

God’s Will

The conviction through the living, active and powerful Word of God did not stop there. I also peeped 1 Thessalonians 4: 3-8:

3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8 Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.

This passage is loaded with so much truth! First, I was hit by the fact that God considers avoiding sexual immorality – of any kind – as part of being sanctified, and that it is His will for believers. And that’s a collective will! We spend so much time asking God what to do in specific situations – how we should choose our career; whom we should marry; where we should live; the list goes on – but sexual purity is one of those things that we don’t even have to pray about whether to embrace – God’s already said it’s His plan for all who believe!

Further, the passage contrasts the sexual purity that is supposed to define us with the impurity that should not. God’s people are to conduct themselves in a way that is “holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God” (vv. 4-5). In other words, when we engage in sexual immorality, we’re not being the people God set us apart to be. When Christians fall into sexual sin, we are actually having an identity crisis!

Not only that, we don’t just pursue purity for our own gain, but also so we can help our brothers and sisters in Christ live out God’s will for their lives ( see v. 6). That means that even a kiss should be with the intent to build up our brother or sister in the Lord (which also assumes that Christians are dating Christians!). That really narrows what kind of kissing, if any, is acceptable!

The passage also says that there is a price for walking into sexual immorality (see v. 6). Proverbs 14:12 and Proverbs 16:25 also both say, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.” That’s the exact same verse, repeated twice in Scripture! “Death” can be in the most literal sense, that of our physical bodies at the end of life on earth, but it can also be death of something while we are still living, such as a relationship, desire, plan or blessing. Because sexual immorality is not in God’s design for us, when we engage in it we face consequences of death that speak for themselves. We trade momentary pleasure for lasting pain.

But the good news is that there is no penalty for setting safeguards for avoiding “even a hint” of sexual immorality; in fact, as we pursue controlling our bodies in a way that is holy and honorable, we experience the life that the Creator of the Universe desires for us. In sharp context, if I choose not to kiss although I could possibly handle kissing, I lose nothing – in fact, I gain! But where I choose to kiss where I might fall into sexual immorality – i.e., a “hint” of it or more, I can lose much!

Amid the many truths in 1 Thessalonians 4: 3-8, I think the greatest is found in verse 8: “Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.” That’s the jugular! By Christians not pursing purity, we are actually blatantly rejecting the will of God – i.e., sinning!

Verse 8 is also a reminder that should help us be up for the challenge of pursuing purity: we are only enabled to live it through His Spirit. Often we do not even think of making commitments such as not kissing because we think we can’t handle them – but the truth is that it’s not about us. Paul said in Galatians 5:1, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Because of Jesus Christ's death and resurrection, and Him sending the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, to indwell believers, we do not have to be a slave to our sexual desires. Instead, we are free to live in the absolute purity to which we are called – and experience full life in Christ, without any bondage to sexual sin!

His Design

I also decided to make the commitment not to kiss as I came to understand God's design for sex better. Among the things I did to embrace God’s plan for sex while also maintaining purity was read Song of Songs, which I also later blogged through. Studying this book really helped me understand even more that sex was designed by God, belongs to God and is meant for the context of marriage, between one man and one woman.

Further, within that framework, the physical expressions done before sex – such as passionate kissing, caressing, foreplay – are meant to lead to one thing – S-E-X!!! Dr. Lindsay Marsh, founder of Worth the Wait Revolution, puts it in a way that helped open my eyes. The gist of what she says is that God did not design us to “start and stop” romantic touch. Touching one part there and another there was meant stimulate us in preparation for sex. As a result, when people say that sex “just happened” unplanned after engaging in physical contact while dating, that is absolutely right – and God meant for it to be that way! That is why not setting serious physical boundaries in dating is so deceptive and destructive!

Additionally, from studying Song of Songs I was struck by the fact that sex is meant to be undertaken, between a married man and woman, uninhibited. However, as a result of sexual sin, we have created a host of hang-ups that are not supposed to accompany sex. Particularly, in the Body of Christ one result has been to turn sex into something “dirty” and “shameful” that we don’t talk about “lest we be tarnished,” as I said in a previous entry.

The world has played off of the fact that Christians, who actually have The Guidebook for great sex in the Word of God, have made it a topic to avoid. Society’s false panacea has become a “sexual freedom” that calls for exploration of sex outside of God’s boundaries of marriage, be it in a “committed” non-marital relationship or between two otherwise “consenting adults” – or even through “self exploration.”

As a result of our human distortions, even people who pursue purity in what was believed to be a completely biblical context may not have not been immune to the idea after marriage that sex is a shameful thing. However, God intended us to have a healthy view of it – the one established in His Word. By learning about it while embracing standards in pre-marital romantic relationships that give us no regrets, we’re much closer to approaching it the way He desires when all the clothes do come off on the wedding night (and not before)!

Response

As I reflect on what God intended for sex to be, I can’t help but worship Him. An awesome message I listened to recently reminded me that worship is a right response to recognition of God’s character. When I think about the way that He designed sex, I am so humbled. And when we worship God, we offer our bodies as living sacrifices to Him. I am compelled to offer my kisses only to my husband as an act of worship to God in response to Him as the author of romance.

Further, I am compelled to save all my kisses for my husband because I WANT him to have them! Often, the world – and some Christians – think that’s such a crazy, “asexual” thing to do. But as I’ve established, it has everything to do with the Spirit in me, the God who created me, who has given me His divine power to do what seems impossible to man. I love what David said of God in Psalm 18: 29: “ With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.” In other words, that of the Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:13, “ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I want my husband to comprehend both how much I loved him before I knew him, and how God can give us the strength to do anything together that He calls us to – sex and beyond!

Questions

A curious question that often comes with making a commitment not to kiss without having previously done so is, “what if your spouse doesn’t have their very first kiss to give you?” To me that matters not, because he will have our first kiss to give me! The Bible says in 1 John 1:9 that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive them, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. That goes for any hints of sexual immorality – and anything greater than a hint!

Further, refraining from kissing is not the only way to avoid falling into sexual sin, which includes even impure thoughts. While I choose not to kiss, I still at times fall short of God’s standard for sexual purity, and when I do, I ask God to forgive me, and then I accept that forgiveness and experience change. None of us is beyond His grace.

Never Kiss (Outside Marriage)?

So...do I think kissing before marriage is wrong in all circumstances? No... (dot, dot, dot). BUT, I do believe that, based on the biblical standard that there should not even be a hint of sexual immortality, passionate kissing (which I would define as a kiss beyond a second or two) cannot be justified. However, neither can even a peck if it is not done in all holiness.

In some circumstances, however, I think just a peck, and nothing more, can be a quick sign of affection for another like a hug that does not cross a line into impurity – although even a hug can be done in impurity. In other words (as noted in the “weaker party” instruction mentioned earlier), whatever causes us to stumble should be avoided no matter how “benign” it may seem.

So, I believe, based on Scripture, that if a dating Christian couple is going to kiss at all, (a) their motives must always be pure; (b) they must never go farther than the point to which they agreed, and that point should not be more than a quick kiss and (c) they must be willing to change their agreed boundary whenever necessary to avoid impurity (as must be done with other physical contact, even when a couple chooses not to kiss)! That’s a pretty lofty burden in my mind – one I personally do not want! Also, as I said before, the love of Christ - and my love for my future husband - compels me to make that choice (and somehow, I am sure that neither God nor my man will have a problem with that!). However, if you are certain, without any self deception, that you can hold the standard described in purity, and feel compelled to kiss in all godliness, purity and absolute holiness – then do it in freedom – and showing honor – to God!

On Discernment

God’s Word teaches us that it is essential to have godly wisdom. Having it in the area of purity is no exception. Proverbs 4:7 is so good I think it requires several versions:

The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom.Though it cost all you have, get understanding. (NIV)

Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. (NIV 1984)

The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight. (ESV)

Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding. (NKJV)

Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment. (NLT)

Wisdom is often defined as the application of knowledge. That means it requires two things: knowledge first; application, second. We can only gain biblical wisdom by diving into the Word of God, and then applying it.

If we want to know what God says about purity and be able to independently apply it to our lives, we have to both gain that knowledge from His Word and actively seek to live by it. None of us can sustain purity simply by what our pastors or church say we should do, the advice of “more spiritual” friends, our family, Christian books – all believers in Christ must possess biblical wisdom – at all costs. And, based on the Word of God, having biblical wisdom is the difference between life and death.

Further, based on the Word of God, the key to a God-honoring dating relationship – and a great marriage – is not personal experience, but godly wisdom. That means that if you possess it – even never having “practiced” physical contact in a dating relationship such as kissing, God will show you how to have a physical relationship in marriage that honors Him and is enjoyable – in His timing and way!

Too often, in the area of sexual purity the body of Christ has made experience a kind of god; in order for us to realize that God’s way for sex is better, we often wait until we experience the consequences of relationships dishonoring to God to come back to what He already said about it long ago. But God gave us a guide in His Word so we would not have to go there! Yes, God turns even the greatest mistakes of those who love Him for our good and we are forgiven when we ask, without condemnation in Christ. But if we follow His Word, we have the wisdom for establishing boundaries that may seem crazy to the world but, in actuality, free us from shame and regret – and help us live the full life He intended for us!

Need wisdom to conceive of – and then learn to live – sexual purity? Ask for it! God promises in His Word that if we lack wisdom but ask for it, without doubting, He will give it to us liberally, without reproach. It’s one of those prayer requests that we don’t have to wonder whether He’ll answer with yes. I love those! Seek Him for purity with all your heart. He’s already promised to hear you!

Epilogue (From the PuriDictionary)

"The Kiss"
Pronunciation: [unstressed before a consonant thuh; kis]

Definite article; noun

Definition.
1. The first time that two people lock lips with each other, on their wedding day.

And, oh yeah, God doesn’t care if it looks sloppy. To Him it is just perfect.