I'm a Winner !

It’s a hot topic in academia and beyond: the supposed lack of discipline among today’s young adults. An interesting article I read at least a few dozen times in college as a writing tutor put it this way: “Having been raised on gold stars for effort and smiley faces for self-esteem, [students today have] learned that they can get by without hard work and real talent if they can talk the professor into giving them a break.” Debating that proposition is for another time. But the mentality that everybody wins isn’t always such a bad thing, especially in light of God’s promises.

Lately I’ve been thinking about God’s faithfulness compared to our own. We’ve all had people disappoint us—and we disappoint others. It’s what we do or say—or don’t do. Even those most faithful to us are limited by often uncontrollable incidents such as sickness, accidents...death. And we go through difficult times that don’t have anything to do with our actions. That’s just life.

But one thing I have found is that with Christ, there’s always a winning end to every situation. I can think of so many times when I don’t understand why something is happening—or what God is doing. But at some point—the end of the situation or somewhere in between, God’s control, which is always present, becomes fully evident. It’s more than just “everything happens for a reason” or “experience is the best teacher.” Rather, God uses trying events to teach us that all we really need to thrive in this life is Him. 2 Corinthians 2:14a says, "Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ" (Israel & New Breed sing this verse well). “Always” is, of course, the opposite of never—and much more than sometimes. It’s every time. Because Jesus trounced sin and death, with Him, I can overcome anything!

How should this affect how we live? First, it means I put my hope in Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:58 also says that because we triumph in Christ, we should constantly invest our time in the things that bring victory: “Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” That’s a powerful, life-changing guarantee.

With Christ, the idea of victory every time isn’t so flaky…so yes, we can all win!

Our Time

I had never been much into Hip Hop. I used to listen to it more in the 90s, but, as I’ve said before, I’d always been much more of a pop-r&b-soft rock person. Then in the last few years I got more into many different types of Christian music. My most recent discovery? A growing love for Holy Hip Hop.

Christian Rap, I mean (I know rap and hip hop are sometimes distinguished, but I am no expert and choose to use them interchangeably here). There are some deep, purposeful artists in mainstream hip hop, but we all know misogyny, debauchery, etc., are staples of the genre, too. I easily got tired of artists objectifying women in one song and being “spiritual” in the next. But because the main purpose of Christian Rap is to glorify God, there are no real lyrical inconsistencies to reconcile. Instead, I’m free to appreciate completely the rhymes the artists create. They are powerful—and hot.

I haven’t been listening long enough to declare a favorite artist, but the trio Group 1 Crew comes closest to this distinction. They have a lead vocalist, Blanca; the other two members, Manuel and Pablo, mostly rap. I love their beats; vocals; and very personal lyrics about dreams, hope and true fellowship with God. On their latest album, Ordinary Dreamers, there’s a song about the importance of daily spending time with God, aptly titled “Our Time.” It makes me reflect on how God uses personal time to make radical changes in character that only He can. An artist that can turn thoughts about quiet time (with God) into a catchy tune—and present a consistent message in other songs—has my vote.

If you haven’t, give Holy Hip Hop a chance. To start, here’s Our Time.

Something New

I’m excited. I'll be doing something I’ve never done: model. What I’ll be representing: Worth the Wait, an organization that uses fashion to promote sexual purity.

I wasn’t drawn to the opportunity for the chance to walk down a runway but for the cause. For years I’ve been passionate about promoting a pure lifestyle. As I’ve said before, true purity is not just about abstaining from sex, but also every other decision you make. What you watch. How you think. What you do with your time. If we know Christ, we are called to a life of holiness that can be achieved only with Him.

But the message of Worth the Wait is not one of perfection. Nobody is perfect. Rather, it is to encourage singles (and others) that no matter what decisions you have made in the past, living a pure lifestyle in Christ is not beyond anyone’s reach. You do not have to be a virgin to model with Worth the Wait, but you do have to be dedicated to honoring God with your body moving forward. The models have many different testimonies leading to a commitment to purity. A major part of modeling with Worth the Wait is sharing your story.

I see this new gig as a testament to the fact that God can use anything He’s given you in ministry, even the things that may seem to have little to do with it. I’ve always been told I have “a walk,” or, alternatively, a “strut.” I’ve never really understood what people are talking about; the only thing I’m concerned with when I move is getting to the next point quickly. But I’ve prayed for God to use all of me, even my so-called walk. When I learned that auditioning to be part of Worth the Wait involved walking down a runway, I saw this as an answer to prayer. I don’t know whether my walk helped me get the opportunity, but now that I have it, I’m owning it for His kingdom!

I’ll be in at least three fashion shows in the upcoming year. Once I know details, I’ll post how you can support Worth the Wait by attending! As the organization’s mantra says, “You are Worth the Wait!!!”

Singing of His Mercy

Thanksgiving is coming. It’s crept up. We’re more than halfway through November, and I feel this month has been a blur. I’ve literally witnessed a few milestones for myself and others these last two weeks, and I really haven’t had time process them all. But one thing I will never get over as a result of those events is the reach of God’s Mercy.

Sometimes I overlook or fail to comprehend it. I often focus on fixing what’s wrong with my relationship with God. How I need to grow in that area. How I need His help to overcome that sin. While it is important for Christians to seek spiritual growth (2 Peter 1: 5-11), sometimes we forget that, even at our best, we will never be good enough to earn God’s blessing in our lives. It’s a truth evidenced by the Cross, but one that starts to get lost when we focus on what “we”—or “I”—need to change rather than the fact that only He can we change us and forgive us when we mess up. That’s the heart of His Mercy.

There’s a song that says how I’m feeling; “Thankful” by Darlene Zscech. As I’m writing, I’ve had it on repeat. The opening talks about God’s “gentle rain.” We often see rain as a metaphor for trials. She’s speaking of God being with her, using circumstances to change her—yet gently—with love. I can say that before the milestones came the gentle rain. But with it also has come—and is coming—the change I desire for Christ. It's a life-long process, but it's so worth it! Glory to God!

The chorus displays the cross as the greatest symbol of God’s mercy: “To the cross I come again…I wanna thank you, Living God.” I love the use of “living.” My God is alive—real: not some symbol or person of the past. When we recognize God as living, He becomes the source of our lives, making them full.

Knowing Christ is supposed to us make us more joyful; happier; more excellent. Because of the Cross, not only am I not bound by my failures, but I am now free to walk in light.

I’ll end with one of the many ways a Psalmist reflected on God’s Mercy—as enough to cover his limits: “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” Psalm 73: 26. Amen! Thank you Lord, for your Mercy!

“Thankful” Lyrics

I felt your gentle rain
You wash over my heart again
And I find You here
I Find You here
You take me by the hand
And when I don’t understand
You hold me
You hold me

(chorus)
To the cross I come again
I'm so thankful, I'm thankful
Your mercy over me again
I'm so thankful, living God
I wanna thank You Living God

In the light of day
Your truth defies my way
And You call me Yours
I'm forever Yours

(bridge)
For eternity,
You will be, You will be
Yesterday, today and forever,
You remain the same

(chorus)
To the cross I come again
I'm so thankful, I'm thankful
Your mercy over me again
I'm so thankful, Living God

To the cross I come again
I'm so thankful, I'm thankful
Your mercy over me again
I'm so thankful, Living God
I wanna thank You, Living God

http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/d/darlenezschech6263/thankful508311.html

THE PEN

Last January I blogged about my favorite psalms and asked which ones others really liked. In similar fashion, “What’s your favorite Name?”

For God, I mean. There are plenty of them throughout the Bible. Some common ones are Alpha and Omega, or the Beginning and the End (Revelation 1:8); The Way, The Truth and the Life (John 14:6); Love (I John 4:8). It’s often said that the Names of God help us understand His character.

I’ve been thinking about which Names resonate most with me since listening to this CD by new artist Spensha Baker, a 15-year-old phenom discovered on Star Search. It’s EXCELLENT worship. One song, “Strong Tower,” based on Proverbs 18:10, paints God as just that--a refuge--at all times.

My favorite Names? First, I love that He’s the Vine, as Jesus says in John 15:5: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in Him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” Literally, a vine is the source of life for branches—without them, the branches wouldn’t even exist—or grow whatever they’re supposed to. Further, to “abide” means to remain—not to waver. When I refer to the Lord as my Vine, I’m saying that without Him, I can’t live out His purpose for my life, which, above else, means serving Him. Many times we think we have great lives even when we aren’t abiding, but God’s Word says that what He has planned for us is infinitely greater than what we can conceive for ourselves. I don’t want to miss a minute of his life-giving blessings. When I abide in the Vine, I thrive—far beyond my imagination.

I also like that He’s a Dwelling Place. To dwell also means to stay permanently, and it has a peaceful connotation. When I dwell in Christ, I’m not focused on whatever life struggle I’m having at the moment—I have peace, because I’m confident that He’s taking care of it. Not only that, when I’m really “staying” in Him, it’s a lifestyle.

I also came up with my own Name. Because I love to write, I relate to Him as The Author of My Story. It fascinates me that when it comes to my life, He’s already done all the literary crafting, considered the plot twists and taken care of all the contingencies. And if I allow each chapter to unfold, cover to cover—not attempt to rewrite it—it’ll be a best-seller. To me, He is The Pen.

More Names I love? Lately, He’s been Grace, Mercy and Faithfulness to me despite my sin. I pray I give more love to others because of His compassion to me.

Again, what are your favorite Names? Listen to Strong Tower
for inspiration, or just to worship. Here’s a list of the Names and corresponding references in the song. Above all, His name is Wonderful.

• Strong Tower (Proverbs 18:10)
• Mighty Fortress (Psalm 46:11)
• Jehovah Jirah, My Provider ( Genesis 22:12-14, Philippians 4: 14-20)
• Jehovah Nissi, My Banner (Exodus 17: 8-16)
• Jehovah Rapha, God the Healer ( Ex. 15:25-26)
• Bread of Life (John 6:48-51)
• Master (Luke 8: 24; 9:33; Col. 4:1)
• Savior (John 4:42)
• Lily of the Valley (Song of Solomon 2:1)
• Alpha and Omega (Revelation 1:8)
• Bright and Morning Star (Revelation 22:16)

Fasting

I love good food. “Good” is highly seasoned, flavorful-yet-reasonably healthy cuisine-not your cheap, artery-clogging grease from KFC or Mickey D’s. To get what I want, I either have to make it or go to a restaurant with at least a couple stars. A friend and I recently lamented on how eating out “our style” at least three nights a week this past year greatly stretched our law-student budgets. In short, I do good food—or no food.

Naturally, God takes the earthly things we hold dear and uses them to stretch us spiritually. My God-given challenge: Not eating, i.e., fasting.

Jesus gave directions for this spiritual discipline in Matthew 6: 16-18:

When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

In light of this passage, this entry isn’t to proclaim that I’ve fasted, but to share how God is using my weakness to take me to another level with Him.

My first regular experience doing it was an (optional) lunch-time fast and prayer meeting Wednesdays at my Christian high school. Most of us still brought drinks. I’d have the most filling I could find: some thick, syrupy strawberry soda or ten-juice blend. In those days, the idea that not eating was supposed to shift my focus from food to God was somewhat lost on me. However, I do credit those lunch-hour experiences with helping me recognize that fasting should be part of my relationship with God.

I dabbled a little more with fasting in college, but not much more. I’d still usually just skip a meal and pray some. But my first year of law school I started doing it a lot more, and for longer.

At first I didn’t know if I could really do it that year. Eating a good meal was the highlight of days that started really early, ended really late and consisted almost completely of class and studying. Additionally, I wasn’t sure how much time I could spend praying and reading the Word when I had so much else to do. But I also felt I had no choice—I was so overwhelmed, and knew only God could get me through, just like how He had gotten me into law school.

I fasted once a week for most of that year. God kept opening points of the day where I could get away from my library cubby or take a walk after class to spend more time with Him. Yeah, my stomach growled sometimes—and I was tempted to think about things like this nearby deli that had the most amazing salad bar with all these homemade ingredients. Initially there were also headaches that I wanted to claim were divine signs for me to stop fasting “for health reasons.” But as I pushed the thoughts aside, I focused more on Him rather than food. And the headaches disappeared.

I never spent much time evaluating the spiritual effects of those fasts, but I know that, overall, seeking His face that year—and the two that followed—made my law school years successful in so many ways.

More recently, I’ve been challenged to fast more. One of the things I struggle with is worry. Sometimes it creeps up on me because it doesn’t so much come in stomach pangs or other physical manifestations, but through thoughts. My mind travels from A to Z (without skipping letters) in like, three seconds. When I start a thought with “what if,” almost every possible scenario—good and bad, will travel through my head without me even blinking. When I fast, I’m reminded to “set my mind on things above” (Colosians 3:2); give my thoughts to God rather than be anxious and think about excellent, praiseworthy things (Philippians 4:6-8).

I’ve also been reading an aptly-titled book, “Fasting” by Jentezen Franklin (I didn’t even know who that was, but I kept seeing his book at Family Christian Bookstores. It’s now the “Book of the Month,” which means I got it for $10-40% off). The chapters are short, and it really cuts to the chase about the benefits of fasting and how Christians are actually commanded to do it. Chapter 2 is called “Dethroning King Stomach” and gives biblical examples about how the lure of food cost some God’s blessings. Chapter 5 addresses the benefits of a 40-day fast (I’m still building faith and stamina for that one:)).Thus far, I’d recommend it!

Wherever we are in our faith, God calls us to “add” always— reach for the next level (2 Peter 1: 5-11). Food never really goes away, but God’s best might.

Food and I are very close, but I want God closer.

Boots that Fit

I’ve always had skinny legs. To borrow from Terry Hatcher, “I could gain 30 pounds, and none of it would go to my legs” (translation: it would NOT look good). I don’t have a problem with them during spring and summer—they fit right in with those seasonal fashions. But when fall comes, there is a problem. Until recently, Enemy Number One was boots.

Ladies, some of you might know what I mean: the gap between the boot and the leg that happens when you have small gams. With ankle-length boots, the space can make you trip. On most knee-length or thigh-high boots, it just looks really unfashionable—like you borrowed shoes from your older sister (that didn’t fit). The only solace had been those stretch boots, but I haven’t seen them in abundance since high school—“circa” late 90s? Even then, I spent more time pulling them up than I did walking.

Until a couple years ago, I had been resigned to wearing boots in the most boring way: under some boot-cut jeans. But the return of the boots-over-the-pants fashion has given girls like me a chance to look trendy in fall and winter, like here:



Sometimes there’s still a gap with them, but it’s not as noticeable. Pair them with those new skinny jeans, as shown here, and I feel like I have another A-plus option!

And then there’s those slouch boot



Oh, I could sing of their virtues all day long. Because the whole boot stretches out, they appear to beef up the leg, hiding the skinny. If they’re small enough in the calf area, I can even wear them with a knee-length skirt or dress—which I had wistfully watched other women do for years.

I’ve also found that timing matters. My best chance to get boots that fit is early fall shopping season—like, end of summer. This year I began aggressively looking in August. After three unsuccessful weeks, I found three pairs at Arundel Mills: some dark brown, knee-length slouch boots that narrow at the calves; slim, calf-length suede ones in black; another pair of slouch ones that are cinnamon brown, leather and reach the upper ankle. Throw in a couple other winners from DSW and Nordstrom Rack, and I have had a profitable month in boots shopping!

Another trend I like this year? The abundance of sweater dresses! I’m looking forward to wearing them with cute belts….and boots that actually fit.

Courage

I know I haven’t blogged in a while, but I’m back. I’m trying to do an entry a day (or every other day) for a while, so check in!

When people ask me what my biggest fear is, my gut response is dogs. I don’t like things that regularly lick, bark, jump and can only respond to commands like “sit,” “go,” or “here boy.” Since you can’t really talk to them, you never know what they’ll do. Any time I hear a “ruff ruff,” I think “When Animals Attack.”

But if I really ponder it, I don’t know that my biggest fear is dogs. Another thing I fear: the future.

For the last couple months, I’ve had to confront this fear. On the one hand, I’ve experienced the high of God taking a dream that began decades ago in elementary school, when I discovered the joy I found in putting my thoughts on thick-lined paper using those equally massive jumbo pencils, and most recently, packaging the love into an unexpected reality: law school graduation. I can’t believe how much He’s blessed me in little more than a quarter century.

But the end of something is always the start of something else. I’m excited about life after school, but also wonder what God has planned for the next phase of my life. That’s where the fear comes in. Will this next round be just as wonderful as the one that ended?

Recently, God’s spoken to me about my fear through His Word. I didn’t set out to do a “fear” study, but I kept seeing the lesson in the passages I read. One reoccurring story was the Israelites’ long journey to the land God had promised their ancestors. It’s likely a familiar story, as it was for me, but rereading it brought it to life again. I think it’s worth rehashing.

After God had delivered the Israelites from slavery in Egypt, He revealed to them the location of the land He had already promised. The land, Canaan, had other inhabitants, and the people were told first to send twelve spies to see how they could conquer it. After returning, ten of the twelve spies reported that although the land was as great as God had said, it would be too difficult to conquer it because of the people living there. In fear, they said,

“…the land through which we have gone as spies is a land that devours its inhabitants, and all the people whom we saw are men of great stature. There we saw giants (the descendants of Anak came from the giants) and we were like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so were we in their sight.” Numbers 13: 32b-33.

Only two spies, Caleb and Joshua, said the people could conquer the land with God’s help.

“…if the Lord delights in us, then He will bring us to this land and give it to us, ‘a land which flows with milk and honey,’” they told the people. In response, the people threatened to stone them (Numbers 14: 6-10).

As a result of their fear and unbelief despite all that God had done for them in the past, the Israelites of that generation were not allowed to enter Canaan. Caleb and Joshua were the only exceptions. The rest died in the wilderness over forty years, one year for each of the forty days the spies were sent into the land (Numbers 14: 26-38).

When the Israelites were finally allowed to enter Canaan, they still had to face their fears. But before he led the people into the land, God told Joshua,

“6 Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1: 6-9.

I’ve always been a fan of verses 7-8 for the importance of studying God’s Word for obedience and blessing. However, the devotional book I had been reading pointed out the “anti-fear” lesson. God told Joshua three times to “be strong and courageous,” one time to be very strong and courageous. Why: because God promised to be with Joshua wherever he went.

That hit me. Often, we focus on how we find strength in Christ—sometimes to the exclusion of recognizing that also means we are to be actively strong and courageous. Of course, we can only be these things if we’re following Him, but I think the lesson of being courageous is still often diminished in the name of elevating God’s strength over our own. But God’s strength is our strength, so the lesson is one of faith and responsibility (i.e., “have courage"), as Israel’s story illustrates.

The story also explains the role that fear can play in keeping us from seeing the things God has for us. The Israelites had to believe that God would give them the blessings He promised despite the fact that with human eyes those blessings seemed impossible. Because they chose fear over courage, they in turn were disobedient and, ultimately, never received their blessing. God, however, was still faithful to His promise to give the Israelites their land. It’s a lesson that when we don’t choose to have courage, God still fulfills His plans, but we’re the ones who miss out.

A book I stumbled on at the bookstore also addressed the story, and had this to say about fear:

“All of us have struggled with feelings of self-doubt and discouragement. Even godly men and women in God’s Word battled many fears and temptations. However, they learned that resignation and disobedience only lead to further disappointment and defeat. God has not designed you for failure. He created you for success—not success from the world’s perspective, but success His way—which glorifies and honors Him and also brings many blessings” (p. 11).

Charles Stanley. Stuck in Reverse: Break Free from Fear and Disbelief and Enjoy the Good Things God has for You (2008).

That’s the essence of courage in Christ—fulfilling His purpose for our lives. The popular Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has plans not to harm us, but to prosper us. We can be confident to face the unknown because we know that God will never lead us in a direction of disaster (by contrast, we can lead ourselves that way). As the book excerpt also pointed out, God’s plans do not necessarily involve the world’s success, and, as we know, it does involve hardship (John 16:33). Fear—of the unseen or seen— keeps us from seeing God’s grand picture for our lives.

A final no-fear passage: Psalm 37, also about God’s plans for those who follow Him. Many like verse 4: “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” About not fearing in uncertain times, verses 7-8 say: “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.”

My favorite line: “Don’t fret-it only leads to evil.” When we get scared, let’s not forget the good God has already done for us, and His promise to guide our future. Forgoing fear and remembering His promises lead us to fulfill the God-given call to Courage.

Matchless Love, Part 1

I’ve been thinking about love recently—God’s love. How different it is from our own. It’s made me want to write about it. Not poetry, but creative expression nonetheless. To Him.

But before I begin, I have to ask You, Lord: What can I say about You? How do I express how I feel about You—publicly? I’ve listened to so many love songs about You. They always start by saying that any words will be inadequate. One of my favorite, “No Other One,” begins, “How I’d long to write a love song just for You, but on my own I felt it’s just another thing I couldn’t do.” I feel the same way. You know how I am with love anyway; I feel it so deeply, that sometimes I just don’t know how to express it. The emotion is just so overwhelming to me—paralyzing, even. Love is something…I love…more than life...(sigh). But here goes...

Your Love is not like anyone else’s. It’s divine, it’s pure; it’s totally selfless. To borrow from the “Love Chapter,” it never condemns, it keeps no record of wrongs, it always trusts, always hopes, always remains strong. So…

I love you because you loved me first. You saw me, dead in my sin, and reached out to me by sending Your Son to die for me. On my own I never would have loved You, but You thought I was so worth it that You--Almighty YOU--pursued lowly me. I didn’t even know how to find You; You found me. And to You, when I humble myself before You, You lift me up.

I love You because we never play phone tag. Sometimes I act unavailable, but You have me on direct dial—actually, that’s somewhat inaccurate—I don’t have to dial You—when I’m walking with You, we’re together, in person.

I love you because You need nothing from me. You just want to love me, and have me experience your love. When we humans think about wanting “love,” it’s usually a romantic love—a more selfish love. We think about someone to understand and support us, but also someone to be physically close with. But You, as I’ve heard mentioned, are 100% self-satisfied. You don’t need a “shoulder to lean on, or cry on.” You simply desire relationship with me. Not because You need me, but because You…love me. Any romantic love you’d give me on this earth can never be that selfless…that full of…love.

I love you because You love me when I mess up. When I make someone mad in this life—or when someone makes me mad, we need a period to “cool off.” But You hold Your arms out even when I do something to pain You. You don’t need to cool off; You desire to show me too much.

I love You because You want the best for me. You tell me in Your Word that You have plans for me—plans not to harm me, but to prosper me; to give me a hope and a future. That’s…love...

I love You because you fight my battles. Every time I feel weak, like I can’t continue, You carry me. And You always know when to carry me. How to carry me…In fact, You love to carry me.

How do I love You back? The answer: I can’t. Not like You can. I’ll always be the wayward one in the relationship— the untrue one, the one who cheats. But the thing is, the more I stay in Your love, that evil part of me—that wicked part that’s against You---fades away. And I become more like You, the You that epitomizes Love…Is Love…

So, for lack of a better explanation (and because I’ve been studying Property and can’t come up with a better word), I pray I continue to “divest” myself of all that I am—so that I can have More of You. So that I can be more loving—have more of Love. That’s what You are, who You are, and what You do: Love. I love to have Your Love. It’s matchless…Love. I’m not done expressing how I feel, but I’ll leave it at this…Matchless Love, Part 1.

Abiding

Last week was rough. My focus was horrible. I can’t point to one reason I was so downcast, but I can say that getting out of the hole could not have been done alone. All week I prayed for God to lift me from my slump, but it took me just about the entire week to see His answer. In a word: Abide. About Thursday, I “happened” to clicked on the “Notes” application of my Blackberry when I noticed the first entry I’d made, titled “Abiding.” Curious, I opened it, remembering that I had written it a couple months ago during a Bible Study. It was a definition of “Abide.” It read: “The continual act of laying aside everything that I might derive from my own wisdom and merit, in order to draw all this from Christ.” I was then reminded of the scriptural context for the definition: John 15, the most pertinent section, verse 5: "I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” Over the next couple days, God started showing me how my thoughts were getting in the way—thoughts that were keeping me from “abiding”—or “deriving wisdom and merit from Christ” rather than myself. As I write, I’m back on the path to praising Him, simply for who He is.

I’m not trying to be deep, but sometimes I get depressed about the human condition. We have so many sides that we often compartmentalize: We have our happy days; our bad and worse days; days somewhere in between. We can be so loving, yet so hateful. We’re so inconsistent. I know I am. In my spiritual walk, some days I am so full of praise; other days, so lukewarm—or without praise. The Word of God points out just how far from perfection we are without Him in Jeremiah 17: 9: “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” And Romans 3: 10-12 says, "As it is written: ‘There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.’ All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one." On my own, I don’t just make mistakes—for every gain I make, I can never achieve perfection. I have my own human “law” of righteousness that will keep me in a failed repetitive state: striving, failing, achieving; striving, achieving, failing—or some other order of the three—until I die.

Morbid? Perhaps. But the explanation doesn’t end there. Providing a better-than-silver lining, Romans 3:21-26 continues:

But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.

It’s the salvation message that brings us all hope. We can have a new life in Christ, and though we still sin—make mistakes—2 Corinthians 3:18 says that once we accept Christ we are being transformed; Philippians 3: 12 that we are being made perfect--the process is incomplete, and, if we know Christ, we will eventually be perfected (Philippians 3: 13-14; 1 Corinthians 13: 9-12).

…so what do I do while I’m in this skin? In a verse (actually, two) it is Solomon’s conclusion after mulling the miserable state of man, found in Ecclesiastes 3: 13-14: “Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.” Coming full circle, that sounds like abiding!

One more thing…The commands that God gave Israel after delivering them from hundreds of years of slavery in Egypt are a reminder that our quest to Abide requires memorializing God’s blessings in our lives, so we never forget His faithfulness as we choose Him. Deuteronomy 6: 4-9; 20-25 explains it beautifully:

4Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates…
20 In the future, when your son asks you, "What is the meaning of the stipulations, decrees and laws the LORD our God has commanded you?" tell him: "We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, but the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. Before our eyes the LORD sent miraculous signs and wonders—great and terrible—upon Egypt and Pharaoh and his whole household. But he brought us out from there to bring us in and give us the land that he promised on oath to our forefathers. The LORD commanded us to obey all these decrees and to fear the LORD our God, so that we might always prosper and be kept alive, as is the case today. And if we are careful to obey all this law before the LORD our God, as he has commanded us, that will be our righteousness.

This blog entry is my memorial of God’s latest blessing to me: His constant forgiveness every time I lose my focus. I pray I—and you— Abide, and always.

COLLAGE OF WORSHIP

I can't live without Christian Music, as I shared recently. It's been especially uplifting the last three years during law school. There are so many songs that God's used to elevate my praise during the high times; help me through shaky times; get me worshipping during other times. As a memorial, I've taken some of the words that have meant the most to me and mixed them all together to create a collage with words. As I've also said, I'm no poet, so it's not going to be that kind of word art. However, it does tell the story of how God has shown Himself faithful and worthy (of everything I have--and so much more. For the most part, each line--or each ellipses--indicates words from a new song. It's my story...'hope you're blessed by it

Along life’s road, there will be sunshine and rain; roses and thorns; laughter and pain
But if that’s what it takes to praise you, Jesus bring the rain

I keep trying to find my way, but all I know is I’m lost without you –
I’ve been righteous in my own eyes; evidently I’ve been blind.
Speak to my heart and change my life, manifest yourself in me.

If I fix my eyes on you, won’t you show me what to do…I’ll always stand for you.

I have decided that my goal is to give you soul control;
Every time you arrive, let me heart be open, ‘cause it’s you I put my hope in.

Your love is nothing less than incredible
All of you is more than enough for all of me;
Make my heart your home.

God said “yes,” when I said “Take my life,” God said “yes,” when I asked to be used.
Oh you set my spirit free and you cared so faithfully!
I’m living under the kiss of heaven, and I’ll never ever be the same again.

Most Holy Lord, You have my devotion
No other One, there is just no other like you –
I could search for all eternity, Lord, and find there is none like you.

I just want to touch your heart, Lord, touch your heart;
I’m not satisfied to do church and walk away!

I’ve been blind, but now I see: What other man would give His life for Me?
When they pierced you side, you just hung bled and died—you didn’t have to do it, but I’m glad you did

What is man that you should even care?
Thank You, Lord; hallelujah, I’m grateful for all my blessings.
I bow my head in worship, for who you are
Completely, unashamed…I give you my heart, unrestrained.

Life may push my heart to the limit, but I won’t let go of the joy in my soul:
I want to live with a fearless heart, courage that’s coming from trusting God
It’s constantly guiding me though the road may seem dark

Yes, I believe; He’ll be there down every road, you will never walk alone
Just believe and know and keep His Word, that’s all He asks of you
Be faithful in what He’s called You to and now that He will see you through.

These Three Years

It was just last year, about the same time. I had the worst final exam schedule: Four of them and one final paper—all due the last five days of the two-week exam period. When all my friends were throwing away outlines and cheering on summer or graduation, I still had three full days of torture left. The night before my last exam--about May 3--I remember sitting on the otherwise-empty top floor of my school libarary and shedding tears of frustration. Lord, I just want to be done! I remember saying.

Okay, so maybe I was a little dramatic, especially since that was my fourth semester of law school, but I just felt so weak at the time.

But zoom to this year, and I’m done-and early. I feel God had remembered my momentary misery—which I had forgotten until now—and given me something this year that I didn’t even pray for. God’s blessing has been a theme in my life these last three years of law school. But more importantly, He’s pruned me—showing me what it means to follow Him—and what I need to do to shatter ceilings that keep me from intimacy with Him. Tangibly, it’s been that Bible Study topic; those conversations; that prayer meeting…those journal entries.

If you would have asked me three years ago, I would have said law school would be so much more about the degree. Obviously, the literally thousands of hours devoted to “work product” (lawyer joke:)) make it hard to argue with that. But if you want to know what has defined these last three years for me, it’s that I’ve become a woman (no longer a girl), so ready to be all I can for Him—even if it sometimes takes me a while to hear His voice. He's taught me spiritual lessons of greater value than any expensive case book--ones I never could have pictured in August 2005 when I was fretting about how I would ever be able to brief 10 really dense cases in one night.

I have so much more to share about these last three years, so I’ll be blogging about them for the next few entries…For now I’m off to celebrate (which basically just means getting to attend an event I haven’t been able to all semester because of school). First, Psalm 116: 12-19, which expresses what I'm feeling on this last day of law school:

12 What shall I render to the LORD
For all His benefits toward me?
13 I will take up the cup of salvation,
And call upon the name of the LORD.
14 I will pay my vows to the LORD
Now in the presence of all His people.

15 Precious in the sight of the LORD
Is the death of His saints.

16 O LORD, truly I am Your servant;
I am Your servant, the son of Your maidservant;
You have loosed my bonds.
17 I will offer to You the sacrifice of thanksgiving,
And will call upon the name of the LORD.

18 I will pay my vows to the LORD
Now in the presence of all His people,
19 In the courts of the LORD’s house,
In the midst of you, O Jerusalem.

Praise the LORD!

WORTH THE WAIT (Another Must Read)

Okay, this isn’t a book review blog, but God keeps bringing this great material my way. I'm going to share another book, one I bought yesterday. First, some context…

I just got back from this amazing Young Adult Conference called "Standing in the Gap," based on Ezekiel 22:30. In that chapter God spoke to the prophet Ezekiel about the consequences His people would face for turning away from Him: "I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none." The conference encouraged young adults to “bridge the gap” by pointing other generations to Christ through an exemplary lifestyle pleasing to Him. 2 Timothy 4:12 was a companion theme: "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." On the "purity" part, there was a great speaker, Dr. Lindsay Marsh, author of "The Best Sex of My Life: A Guide to Purity." Everything she said was on point for men and women trying to maintain a pure lifestyle for Christ.

Because I don’t want to discourage you from purchasing the book by giving too much away, I won’t say a lot about it. Instead, I’ll rave about Dr. Marsh, who is truly a “role model”— two words I use sparingly. She’s a 31-year-old anesthesiologist, minister and owner of Worth the Wait, LLC, a clothing line promoting sexual purity through fashion (and no, that does not mean all her designs completely cover from high-neck-to-toe, but they are fashionable yet classy—no super-short skirts or boobs hanging out). But even with all she does, if you ask her, she’s “a minister of the Gospel first”—get it! She’s also single and a virgin who’s committed to waiting in a way that glorifies God. She gets it right when she says purity is not only about abstaining from intercourse, but also every other daily decision you make. Lindsay (“Dr. Marsh”) admits she hasn’t always lived that way, and is candid about her mistakes. In Chapter 2: “My Personal Experience,” she says:

“It has not been a perfect journey for me. I took a wrong turn…But by God’s grace, I got back on track, and continued my walk with Him. It has been seven years that I have truly been walking in sexual purity (no kissing, petting, humping, rubbing, touching, etc...) Glory to God! This is not a message for perfect people. This is a message for those who desire truth and transformation!” (p. 21)

From that excerpt you may be asking, “What? No rubbing? No petting?” That’s why you have to read, because she doesn’t make the book about “thou shalt nots,” but instead explores the kind of choices that free us to wait for—and eventually see—God’s best for us in relationships. When we’re truly committed, we don’t see waiting as a chore—we enjoy it! When (not if) you read, pay special attention to “Chapter 4: A Guide to Purity,” which presents ten steps to creating a lifestyle that promotes relationship choices that honor God. Again, as Lindsay, (“Dr. Marsh”) explains, even if we’ve made mistakes, it’s never too late to rededicate ourselves to waiting right for God’s Soul Mate (she did not say “soul mate,” and I don’t know her take on that, but I said it because I believe the concept is biblical—see my Feb. 21, 2007 entry). There’s no condemnation in Christ—only freedom (Romans 8: 1-17). We have to embrace His forgiveness—not stay in the past—so we can claim the tomorrow He’s planned for us. Amen! Order the book at the link below! Yes, it’s a little pricey, but it was independently published—and for the kingdom! If you can’t get it, ask me about it! http://www.iamworththewait.com/mybook.html and check out the “Worth the Wait” clothing line!

A MUST READ

I was at the Christian bookstore a few weeks ago getting some music when I noticed a book: “The UnGuide to Dating: A He Said/She Said on Relationships” by Camerin Courtney and Todd Hertz, Christian journalists. I’ve never read a book by a journalist that I didn’t like, and it had an interesting cover, so I bought it. Overall, I’d give the book about an 8 out of 10. Here’s a “semi-review” of it: part my thoughts; part analysis of the authors’ words.

I loved the book because it was very real. The authors were themselves single adults; the “He,” Todd, 29; the “She,” Camerin, 34, writing for a single adult audience, so the book isn’t of the “True Love Waits” high school dating variety. While it does address sexual purity, it presents an overview of the major issues faced in adult Christian dating. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m critical of church dating discussions, which are often confined to youth, the message being “how to hang on and not have sex before marriage in your late teens/early twenties.” These discussions are often conducted by Christians who themselves married early, or at least advocate early marriage and are out of touch with singlehood beyond college. These authors, however, are not only in touch with the issues, they also live through them.

Three sections stood out to me. Chapter 3: “Men in the Church, O Brother, Where Art Thou?” (theorizing on the statistically proven disparity between the number of women and men in church); Chapter 4: “Changing Gender Roles: You’ve Come Along Way, Baby?” (great rebuttal to so-called spiritual leaders who attribute women having careers and not getting married in their early twenties to a willfulness to delay marriage just because) and Chapter 5: “Making the First Move? Still only a Man’s Job?” My favorite one, and the subject of this semi-review, is the last one on making the first move. Although I’m inclined to say the answer to this chapter’s question should be “yes,” (I much prefer a man doing the initial asking out), it made me rethink my conclusion.

THE GENDER DIVIDE
The first sentence of the chapter summarizes the debate, according to each gender. The female author, Camerin, shared an experiment:

“A funny thing happened when I asked the readers of my [Christian] singles column whether…they think it’s [okay] for a woman to ask a man out on a date. There was a huge gender divide. The women, by and large, communicated that it’s perhaps [okay] but certainly not preferable. Most of the men communicated something along the lines of ‘Bring it On!’” (p. 69).

The explanation for the difference was, among other posits, research suggesting (and I would agree is often true) that “women evidently get their happiness from being desired, [while] men get their thrill from the chase” (p. 72). But truthfully (and as the authors also point out), there’s a whole lot of men out there who don’t particularly like the chase, especially in the realm of Christian dating.

Before I address this area, I’ll add the assumption that who should make the first move is usually an issue when you like someone you have another kind of existing relationship with– such as a friend, coworker, business associate or teammate – especially one you’ve had a long time. If these relationships turn romantic, you often still have to interact closely if there’s a break up, or you may lose a person you value apart from romance. In these circumstances, you have to first feel out the other person to find out if they’d even want to go there – if you’re the only one who does, that alone could ruin the existing relationship. This combination of emotions and circumstance can also be paralyzing. And the more emotionally invested and scared you are, the more your usual behavior will probably be materially altered, perhaps by overreacting to every little thing that other person does. By contrast, when you date someone you don’t have an existing relationship with, I think that, at least initially it’s easier because 1) if that person rejects you you’re probably only mildly disappointed because you didn’t know each other that well anyway, and 2) if it goes sour, that will probably end your interaction with less at stake.

Does the Man Have to Do the Asking?
The issue of “the first move” can be complicated in Christian settings. As the authors address, if you’re trying to live for God, part of the equation is dating someone He’d want you with. That also means it’s probably not best to just dive into the relationship – especially where you have an existing, non-romantic relationship. Camerin says, “…it takes time, prayer, keen observation skills and input from others you respect to figure out the true character of a potential date or mate” (p. 75). Also, if you agree that you should be dating someone with the qualities you desire in a mate (not that you have to know that you’ll marry that person – it can be very unhealthy to date someone thinking you’re going to marry that person before the relationship gets serious), and those qualities should be biblical, your evaluation has to be in that light.

As a Christian woman, a necessary criterion is dating a man who shows healthy spiritual leadership qualities. One way for him to exhibit that leadership is to initiate the relationship. Todd, the male author, noted that some women take the connection between a man asking and spiritual leadership pretty far: “I’ve often heard women say that if a guy they’re interested in isn’t asking them out, then he must be ‘gutless’ or incapable of being the spiritual leader” (p. 74). Although I think that’s harsh, I do have somewhat of an implicit expectation that a Man of God would – or should, if he’s interested in me, be praying about asking me out—and that he should do it if he’s led to through prayer. It also relates to that need-to-feel-desired thing as a woman. Personally, if a guy does not ask me out, I pretty much conclude that he’s “just not that into me,” or he has some other issue with asking me out that outweighs whatever feelings he may have for me— maybe even that he’s prayed about it and doesn’t feel led to. Whatever the reason, it translates into “no discernable interest” in me. Under that circumstance, no matter how much my heart pines for you, you wouldn’t see me doing any initiating.

But enter Todd’s perspective that it may not be a bad thing for a woman to ask out a man. I have to admit that it hit me because most Christian guys I know agree, albeit reluctantly, that although it may be tough, it’s their responsibility to ask the woman out. And I’ve never dated a guy who hasn’t asked me out. However, following the “spiritual leader” comment, Todd cautiously presented an alternate view of a man’s hesitancy to ask out a woman, and added some biblical context:

“Let me tell you a secret: guy’s aren’t mind readers…So if a woman has an interest, she may prayerfully choose to let the guy know about it – not because he’s too timid or obtuse but because otherwise he just might not realize she’s interested…(But I only believe that’s true… if a man has an interest, has prayed about it, and fails to act on it…)…Because I know women may have interest in a man who doesn’t notice or already have interest in her, I don’t think initiation by a woman automatically sets a dangerous leadership precedent. But of course it could. Luckily, it’s not a one-shot deal. After a woman does make that move, she can observe the rest of the relationship to see if the guy models godly leadership. We see this in the Bible (Ruth 3).”

I certainly appreciated this perspective, and do feel that, although as I said I don’t make sweeping generalizations about a man’s spiritual leadership based on him not making the move, I do take for granted that the man should be the one to ask the woman out first. And this belief is commonly held in the Christian circles, too. I had to go back to the Ruth/Boaz story because it’s not one I hear much in the context of dating. Instead, comments like “Rebecca did not look for Isaac; Isaac found her. Rachel did not look for Jacob; Jacob looked for her” abound. In college I went to a Bible study where I probably heard those references every week for a year.

In Chapter 3 Ruth follows the advice of Naomi, the mother of her deceased husband, by going to “lay at Boaz’s feet,” (v. 4) which, just from reading the passage (i.e., not doing any exegesis), appeared to be a significant practice that, at least in this context, let him know she was romantically interested. I guess, if translated into our context, Ruth’s actions would amount to making the first move—saying, “Will you go out with me,” and Boaz responding “Yes” –and then some (v. 10-11).

This argument is a point for the “girl go ahead” side. Again, however, in the book no conclusions are made about whether a woman should do this, only that it’s not necessarily a bad—or wrong— thing, and it can be positive. Also, the author still notes that, ultimately, under a biblical model, a man has to take a healthy leadership role—one that respects the woman.

SOMWHERE IN BETWEEN?
The authors also make a suggestion on more comfortable, middle ground, one which I think is already commonly employed from a female perspective: at least letting the guy know you’re interested. Camerin, after expressing her hesitancy to ask out a guy, also concedes,

“I don’t think it’s fair for [women] to simply sit back and expect men to read out minds and then to take the risks we’re not so keen on taking ourselves. It seems the very least we can do is to offer a few hints of our interest” (p. 77).

I totally agree, but the suggestion is compounded by the fact that people perceive “hints” differently. Some think that if you’re not touchy or overt, you’re not showing interest. Although I think we all generally know what it means to complete an intentional act—in this case intentionally let someone else know that you’re interested—you may find one person’s definition of “showing interest” is different from another’s. From a female perspective, I know guys can be totally oblivious, and often require very overt acts of interest—such as heavy flirting— that I am uncomfortable doing. I think it’s more important to hint naturally; be you—that’s who the other person will be dating, anyway. Whatever you do to express your interest, however, does make the process easier for both parties—especially for the person doing the asking, who faces a higher risk of being rejected, which we all fear.

CONCLUSION
Whatever your opinion about who should do the asking, ultimately being with the person God has for you more often than not requires prayerfully taking some action—not just sitting and waiting. (This is, of course, assuming God has someone for you. I’m currently not prepared to get into a theological discussion of the gift of singleness—although I’ve heard it broken down that anyone who desires to get married probably doesn’t have it—but people who do have it claim that’s not necessarily true). Anyway, Camerin states:

“When I look at the Bible and the way God has traditionally worked amidst his people, I see that action is usually required on our part. Joshua and the Israelites had to wade in the Jordan before it would begin to part (Joshua 3: 7-17). Several times Jesus commanded people to wash in a river (John 9:1-7) or to rise and pick up their mat before they would be healed (John 5:1-9). Time and again, God works in our action, meeting our steps of faith. Sure, God can bring Mr./Ms. Right to our doorstep…More realistically, I have a feeling God nudges us to attend that photography class at the local community college or join that committee at church—and does so for a single man or woman who’s a great match for us. Hopefully we’re not so intent on sitting at home waiting for our doorbell to act on that nudge… Most important, I think we need to pray not just for open doors but for wisdom and openness to see them—and the confidence to open them” (p. 84-85).

Despite the thought-provoking discussion, I don’t think I would ever be comfortable asking a guy out first—mostly because I believe in having a relationship that’s somewhat unusual even in Christian circles, so it’s important I get a sense that he’s seriously given the idea of us being together to God—employing not just a little prayer, but a lot—and that he’s really up for the challenges that we’ll deal with—ones he probably has not dealt with in previous relationships. If he doesn’t share his interest and I have to initiate, under the circumstances it would probably mean that I would be more into him than he’s into me, and that would make the relationship especially difficult—beyond the problems that disparity often poses in more usual relationships. And the commitments I've made are first to God--and ones I believe He's asked of me to make, so he has to be comofortable with them--and at least share the sentiment behind them, even if he hasn't expressed the commitment in the same way I have before.

At the same time, where two people are seeking God’s will, I also believe that He’ll work out the human kinks. If God wants two people together, it will happen after He’s spoken to both of them, and if both are willing to act on that leading. Even when you're willing to act, however, it can be difficult to open up where strong emotions, mixed with uncertainty about their meaning, are involved. But there are, of course, passages that speak directly to overcoming fear. One of my favorite: 2 Timothy 1: 7— “But God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but of power, love and self discipline.” When we’re acting in His will, we have to be confident to make a move at His leading!

Lesson
What I’ve liked most about reading this chapter (and the book) is that it’s also gotten my friends talking—rethinking, or at least rehashing—our dating views. Check it out…it’s a good read!

The Case For Christian Music (Of All Kinds)

I’ve always been a pop and love-song fanatic. In junior high and high school I mostly just listened to the radio—the “Top 40” stations (back then Z-104 and 102.7—I know my D.C.–area natives know:)). I also loved the still-existent Soft Rock-97.1/WASH FM. Freshman and sophomore year of high school I’d have sleepovers where friends and I would call in to the now-defunct “After Hours with Glenn Hollis,” a 7pm-to-midnight showcase of “love songs and dedications.” We knew that to have our requests aired, they usually had to be somewhat elaborate. I’d choose tributes to my “new fiancée,” who had always recently proposed in a park, and I was always “still crying over how beautiful it was.” Something about the fake dedications made with my high pitched, tween-age voice resonated with Glenn; I had the record among friends for most calls played on air, along with the most poems read to me. I usually requested ballads by Mariah, Celine, or Whitney, which we’d dubbed the “True Love-Song Trio.” Despite the fact that I still treasure these songs, since college I have listened mostly to Christian music. And the change has had an incredible impact on my relationship with God.

Like many, I used to think that “Christian” Music only encompassed a few types: in my case, the only I’d heard— gospel, rock worship songs and selections from the Hymnal. Although I now actually listen to all these genres, growing up they didn’t really gel with this pop princess. I needed something that sounded like Christina, Mya, the BackStreet Boys or Lauren Hill. Enter Out of Eden, the first Christian group I fell in love with.

I first heard this eclectic trio of sisters (who have been compared to TLC and SWV, among others) as a high-school freshman at D.C. ’97, a conference for teens held every three years in both D.C. and Los Angles. It was the first of four summers I spent on missions trips where only Christian music was allowed (a rule I broke often). I liked the group because their souly pop sounds were unlike the so-called “head banger” Christian music my teammates chose to listen to on our ten-hour plus drives in 15-passenger Ford vans. I guess I did come to like other Christian artists during high school, but none I actually purchased.

But then when I started college, as I’ve shared before, I went through a period where my relationship with God, which I’d technically had since late pre-school/early kindergarten, had hit a wall. It’s the quintessential end-of-the -coming-of-age story, when you finally reach adulthood and have to choose whether you’re still going to live the way you’ve grown up despite the fact that parents aren’t in sight (at least they weren’t during the day; I was a commuter:)). I’m happy to say I chose God’s way.

But breaking the ceiling on my relationship with God required some habit changes. I remember rummaging through my glove compartment one day freshman year in search of what little Christian music I owned. I pulled out a couple Out of Eden tapes given to me by my youth pastor, who got all the Christian music he wanted for free because of his title. I started listening to them on my way to class each morning. I also threw in another tape he’d given me, an album by the four-female group Point of Grace, whose harmonious sounds could probably be compared to Wilson Phillips sometimes and the Dixie Chicks at other (or perhaps not—I can’t really box them in…). Anyway, once I started listening, I saw a profound change in my focus. Although these artists were still playing the same genres of music I always loved, their words had so much more…"Kingdom" value. Out of Eden had a way of incorporating their love for Hip Hop with words that honored God. One song from their second album, “More Than You Know,” called “Giving My All,” became my theme song. I loved how they added a pop twinge with the synthesizer as they expressed their desire to “give God ‘soul’ control.” As I went through my day, both the great beats—and the great words—filled my mind. Before long, I had purchased all of Out of Eden’s CDs recorded at the time.

I didn’t stop with Out of Eden. In search of a Christian Christina Aguilera, I was referred to Rachel Lampa, an artist I’d heard over the years but hadn’t paid much attention to. I’ve since bought all her CDs to date. Her beautiful ballad expressing her love for God, “No Other One,” from her CD titled “Rachel Lampa,” would become my cell phone ring tone (although sadly I no longer hear the moving words each time my phone rings, since my fairly new Blackberry is always on vibrate :(). By that point, my style had moved beyond just pop and r&b. I needed more types of music—gospel artists such as Smokie Norful, who sing melodies steeped in scripture; and even groups like Mercy Me, an alternative/rock band with some of the most spiritually moving lyrics I’ve ever heard. And I still like artists such as Surel, who’d attract Erykah Badu fans after just a few notes.

Why go on about my journey to Christian-music enthusiast? In a verse: Colossians 3:2-“Set your mind on things that are above, not on earthly things.” Whether we like to admit it, music is a form of meditation. Even if we “just like the beat” and “not the words,” whenever we listen to music, we take in the words, too- be it consciously, subconsciously or unconsciously. With Christian music now spanning every genre imaginable—from mellow jazz to thumping reggae—there’s plenty to choose from. Why not listen to music that not only has beats we like, but also words that get us meditating on scripture—with a value not just for this life, but the one to come (1 Timothy 4:8)?

This is not to say that all “secular” (aka non-Christian) music is evil. I personally still listen to music that isn’t Christian, I just don’t do so for extended periods of time because it doesn’t have the same life-changing value that Christian music has in getting me to focus on God more. I also know Christians’ views on Christian music run the gamut—with some saying the contemporary Christian music I can’t live without is “irreverent” and “pandering to a materialistic society trying to secularize God and dilute scripture,” and, on the other end of the spectrum, those who say that the hymns put together over centuries are “no longer relevant to our society.” I personally fall somewhere in the middle. Sometimes I do listen to “It Is Well With My Soul” and the like because the words are, as I’ve said, so rich and taken almost verbatim from scripture, but sometimes I want to get my praise on with spirit-filled songs that also have loud, infectious beats. The thinking that it’s “hymns only” or “contemporary Christian music only” ignores the fact that we’re just not always in the mood to hear the same type of music all the time—and that we all just have different tastes. If we have to pick one or the other, we probably wouldn’t make meditating on God’s Word through song a part of our routines; it would instead be relegated to moments when we were “in the mood” for a particular type of music. In my opinion, we’d miss out on great, biblically based messages heard through all kinds of song.

Another related criticism I hear a lot is that not all Christian music is particularly “spiritual,” and not all “secular” songs are particularly un-spiritual; hence, there’s no real need to listen to mostly Christian music when there are “just as spiritual songs” in secular music. Although artists on both sides do have works that cross over to the other, most Christian songs do in fact have a biblical message, because they’re based on God’s Word. By contrast, most secular songs, even if they have a “good” message, will most likely not have a biblical message because the artists are not claiming to make Christian songs. I like to use the “dollar store” analogy: you may go into the dollar store and find that there are some items that are, gasp, more than one dollar. And there may even be a few of them. However, this doesn’t mean it’s not a dollar store, just that owners sometimes reach beyond their “dollar” label to market other products. Likewise, Christian or secular artists making a few songs that differ from their norm does not change their labels. As a result, if you’re looking for “Christian” music, you’re mostly likely to find it from artists who call themselves Christian-music artists.

A final relevant issue is that people are not always trained to understand that Christian music takes so many forms. If the only Christian songs you’ve heard sound like the “Doxology” you sing every week in church, you too may be thrown off guard by something like Christian rock. As a result, you won’t even try to understand the words—they may sound too “secularized” to be any different from the pop stations. But the truth is that many contemporary songs are inspired by God’s Word but brought to life by everyday experiences—aka “testimonies”—kind of like the ones people share in church about how they came to know Christ or got through a difficult life situation, though they’re set to music, and put in lay person’s terms (ironically, so were at least some popular centuries-old hymns, at the time they were written). And these real-life experiences found in contemporary Christian music can actually be just as—and sometimes more—uplifting than traditional worship songs. And if you open up a Contemporary Christian music CD case, you’ll often find artists include the Bible verses that inspire each song. When you read the verses and then listen to the song, the scriptural message becomes even clearer (Great example: the recently released “True Beauty” by Mandisa from American idol—as I keep saying; it’s a great CD!).

My point? If we claim to know Christ—have asked him to forgive us from our sins and are now trying to live for Him—be his “disciples,” we have to do whatever we can to put away our old natures—the ones we had before we decided to follow God—and walk as He did (I John 2: 5-6). What we think about—mediate on—is a big part of that. And if I can pump a tune AND praise Him—I’m more likely think about Him any time.

What I’m playing now? Group 1 Crew, a Christian Hip-Hop group. Their hit “Forgive Me” was clearly inspired by Psalm 23. Also, here’s a chart including Christian music alternatives to secular music: http://www.extreme-youth.com/Christian_music_comparison.html And share your favorites; I’m always looking for new Kingdom artists—of all kinds…

The Wonderful Cross

This is not how I expected to spend Good Friday.

I was supposed to have arrived home from a trip to see my brother--just in time to make it to Good Friday service, which I always love because my church makes it a very personal reflection on The Cross. Instead, I'm still out in Middle America, caught in a snowstorm that was somewhat unexpected based on the mild weather here this last week. But it's Providence, and Providence would have it that my "service substitute" include a song and a passage that I just can't keep to myself: 1 Corinthians 15: 1-11 and "The Wonderful Cross," sung by a number of Christian artists. Although you've likely heard both before, as I had, for me God made them come alive--like new--for this Good Friday.

In 1 Corinthians 15:1-11, Paul encourages the church to "hold firmly" to their faith by recapping Christ's death, Resurrection, and the start of the early church (verses 1-2; 3-8). But it's verses 9-10a that tell the greatest victory of the story: that through His death, Christ offered life to everyone, no matter their past, as the apostle Paul declares: "For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am..." Through the cross, Christ put all the sin we had upon himself, so that we could be changed. That realization humbles me, and makes me recognize that the only way to accept that invitation fully is not just to be "saved," but to live every day for Him. I know I can never repay Him for what He's done for me; on the cross, He literally became sin for us (2 Corinthians 5:21).

What does this mean in practical terms? We Know: that person I can't seem to forgive? I have to. The worrying about tomorrow? I gotta give it up. The unnecessary time I spend on things that draw me away from Him: I need a schedule change.
Anything--anything that hinders me from living this life as a marathon for God(Hebrews 12: 1-12). And when we consider the fate that Christ's death saved us from, it should make the sin we hold on to easier to give up. But it's a process, and thank God He's patient and forgiving (Psalm 103), and that He's given us biblical examples like Paul whom He's radically transformed for His glory (1 Timothy 1: 15-17). None of us are beyond His reach.

That song, "The Wonderful Cross," has such beautiful lyrics that underscore the response we are to have to the cross: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/m/michael+w.+smith/the+wonderful+cross_10180229.html. A key phrase: "Life so amazing, so divine, Demands my soul, my life, my all."

...so as I wait (and pray) that tomorrow I arrive in a much warmer, familiar place, I'm reminded--that He's reminded me--that I'm to "celebrate" the cross each day by taking up my own cross and following Him(Luke 9:23). That's the beauty--and wonder--of this weekend, and this life.

Passion In Pieces

It’s Valentine’s Day, again. This time last year I was thinking much more about loving a person than loving God. But, of course, whenever you pray for God to bring you closer to Him, as I had prayed, He always shows you what you’re lacking. My diagnosis: an inadequate understanding of what it means to have “passion” for Him. I thought I knew, but was just working on getting there. But circumstances in my life, coupled with Psalm 63: 1-8 (which reappeared in devotional books and song lyrics about once a week for a few months), gave me a clue. Read David’s definition of intimacy with God:

1 O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

I’m sure I’d read or heard this passage some time before this past year, but it hadn’t resonated. Some parts were familiar—the praising God, loving Him, beholding his glory. But the body longing and the thinking through the watches of the night—those were things I didn’t really think about with God. But the message really is Lord, you are all I need. Nothing else. And not only do I need you, I long to know you with everything I am and have—my body, my mind, my soul; my LIFE. As I meditated on the passage for weeks, it really did make sense. I started to feel passion for God in ways I hadn’t ever—at least not in recent memory. In this year since last Valentine’s Day, I’ve seen my relationship with God become more about simply knowing Him.

I’ve always been wary of casually saying I love God. As my pastor profoundly pointed out, throughout the Bible God does not define love by word, but by deed; it’s not what you say, it’s what you do. I love the perspective 1 John 2: 3-6 brings:

We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.

Jesus also said in John 14:15: “If you love me, you keep my commands."

Think about it: if a person says “I care about you” but never does anything to show it, do you ever really believe that person? Yet we often think we can do that with God: List Him among our “favorite things,” go to church on Sunday but live totally different on Monday—say we love Him—but then not do what He says. I look at how much I have to change, and sometimes I feel that claiming to love Him is akin to lying…

But then I look where I was—even a year ago—and I see how God is showing me how to really love Him. He’s giving me more opportunities to serve Him, and I’m taking them. I’m waking up in the morning, and knowing something’s not right if I haven’t spent time with Him before I start my day. He’s speaking to me, and I’m trying to listen. I now conceive of Psalm 63 intimacy, so now He’s teaching me something else, this time in seven words: “The just shall live by his faith” (Habakkuk 2:4b). I’m learning to make Him my passion—piece by piece.

What's Your Favorite Psalm? (A Psalm for Everything)

I love the Psalms. A lot of people do. They speak to so many because they're a model for how to communicate with God-and live for Him-in every situation life brings: great victories; deep despair; somewhere in between.

I first came to truly understand the value of the Psalms for "teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in rigteousness" (2 Timothy 3:16) around my first year of college. At the time, I felt there was a wall between God and myself that I couldn't cross. I asked God to show me how to seek him more, and he brought me the Psalms in a way I had never understood them in all my years before.

As I pored over the Psalms that year, I found the ones known written by David are tend to impact me most. Of the 150 Psalms, more than 70 were clearly authored by David, although the number is likely higher. I love Psalm 15, because it asks and answers what it means to be righteous in God eyes. I can't do without Psalm 27, because in it David speaks of seeking God's face with all his haeart, and oping in Him no matter what happens. In Psalms 42 and 63, David models the meaning of having passion for God; in Psalm 42, David speaks about his soul longing for God's delevrance like a deer pants for water. Psalm 63: 1-8 challenges me, because David talks about true intimacy with God, in some part the way we'd often talk about a lover. Verses 1-3: "Oh God you are my God, earnestly I seek you. My soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked for you in the sanctuary and beheld the power of your glory. Because your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips will glorify you." I also love Psalm 119, the longest chapter of the Bible, because David presents such a rich discussion of the essentiality of studying and loving God's word in order to know him. I'm partial to the scripture-memory favorite, verses 119: 9-11 & 105. But I also treasure verses 97-104; David talks about loving God's law some more. And I've saved my favorite Psalm of David for last: PSALM 139, "God's Perfect Knowledge of Man." It reminds me that I am never out of God's hands; He knows a word before it's on my tongue; wherever I am, I can't escape Him. And this knowledge reminds me that I can give him everything, and when I do, He'll show me what I need to change. It's just so raw--a rawness that God valued in David, and the the kind he wants to see in us. It's also the kind that helps us understand what it means to make him our "first love" (Revelation 2:4). And when we ignite passion for God in our hearts, coupled with a sound knowledge of what we need to live out that passion, we truly become discplies of Christ who deny ourselves daily and take up his cross to follow him. They are a reminder that to anyone who's received Jesus as Savior, scripture should not just be someting we open up in church on Sunday, or read during the week out of obligation--it should be our food: our life.

What I think guarantees making the Psalms come alive? Memorize them. You can pick the ones you're most passionate about--the ones that speak to you most, so that in any situation--when you doubt God's promises in your life; you're not sure if you're doing what God requires of you; when you just want to praise--you'll have it ready to meditate on. I constantly pray Psalm 139, and I'mm always Or, just read and let God lead you to memorize them depending on your situation. Life's challegenes resulted in God bringing me Psalm 63.

If you haven't already, discover your favorite Psalms. They speak directly to life's situations--just about everything.

The Essence of Praise

Sometimes, it seems hard to praise. It shouldn’t be, but it can be. Something’s not going the way I want it to. I just don’t feel in the mood. But not praising in all circumstances isn’t just not okay, it’s a sign of not truly understanding God’s character. He’s not just God when my situation is rosy; He’s God all the time.

I’ve written about praising continuously before (See January ‘06 and December ’06, to name a couple entries). When God appears to be about to answer something major I’ve prayed about for a long time, I sometimes start to get ahead of Him. I begin to predict—or sometimes expect—an outcome where God is actually telling me to wait just a little longer for His answer. It’s when I lose my focus on Him that things start to go another direction, usually to remind me to trust His timing. In these situations, praising God—simply because He is—is essential. It helps me—and you—understand God’s core—that no matter what happens in my life, He is gracious, loving, and all those great “Os” you may have learned growing up: Omnipresent (everywhere); Omniscient (all-knowing); Omnipotent (all-powerful). When I was young I knew these descriptions of God’s character by denotation; now I know them by connotation. And when I think and act on them, I’m transformed beyond my situation, and my focus turns back to Him. Here’s a passage to meditate on. Let it be a reminder of how—and why—we praise Him.

PSALM 100
1 Make a joyful shout to the LORD, all you lands!
2 Serve the LORD with gladness;
Come before His presence with singing.
3 Know that the LORD, He is God;
It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;[a]
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
4 Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,
And into His courts with praise.
Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.
5 For the LORD is good;
His mercy is everlasting,
And His truth endures to all generations.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%20100;&version=50 (NKJV); http://www.ibs.org/niv/passagesearch.php?passage_request=psalm+100&niv=yes&submit=Lookup (NIV)