Strange Happenings in the Life of Seyi

I’m a magnet for strange occurrences. A partial explanation is that I’m both almost always in a hurry and lost in thought, so I tend to miss things like walls or steps in front of me. Some of these strange happenings, however, can’t be explained. Slipped on a banana and gone flying, head first into someone’s butt? That was eighth grade. Walking to class in broad daylight when hot, liquidy bird poop lands on my nose? Freshman year of college. Telling people to shut-up while on my cel phone in my sleep? Done that. I even had a squirrel run up my leg sophomore year. In the grand scheme of weird occurrences in my life, the one I am about to tell you is only slightly memorable. However, you may find it amusing…

I was in Ikea with my roommate. We were looking at some cheap picture frames when we heard this loud voice say “There’s a monkey on my back, there’s a monkey on my back.” We turned toward the noise, and who did we see? None other than Iyanna from Road Rules Season 8, Semester at Sea (Other notables from the season: Veronica, Yes (yes, he was fine—tacky, I know, but I can’t help myself; he was:)) and Sean (kinda cute, but no Yes:)). She was telling her companion a story.

I don’t want to say too much about Iyanna, but I will comment that, at least on television, she was portrayed as a….well…nut job. To refresh the memories of Road Rules and Battle of the Sexes watchers, a quote from Iyanna: “All I wanted was just one of y’all---to have my back!” (That’s the only one I can think of. I also vaguely remember consistent bouts of thrashing, crying and yelling). It’s fair to say she ranks among the top five most volatile Road Rules cast members, which is no small feat considering the cast selection. (And you know MTV has hit an all-time low on the latest season of the Real World by airing the therapy sessions of an anorexic cast member with a host of emotional issues. Someone with so many personal problems should not have been cast. MTV has exploited cast members for years—that’s the essence of its reality television, but this is by far the sickest form.)

Perhaps you don’t find me running into Iyanna worth discussing; after all, she did go to Howard undergrad and likely lives around here. But at the same time, to hear some random person yelling “There’s a monkey on my back” in Ikea and turn around and it’s a crazy person from reality TV…I think that’s just enough to rank as an officially weird occurrence. I actually kind of wonder whose monkey it was, and what it was doing on her back…

Everything May Happen for a Reason...

“Everything happens for a reason.”

I’m sure you’ve heard that phrase and, as many people do, you might even love it. However, I find it incomplete and unpersuasive. Everything may happen for a reason, but sometimes the only reason is to let you know it didn’t have to happen that way. To some, even that revelation does not diminish the significance of the phrase. But if you’ve made a commitment to live for God wholeheartedly, I argue it is especially lacking.

One reason the phrase is questionable is that it’s often used to dismiss poor choices without taking full responsibility for them. We often take pride in the fact that God brought us through difficult situations that were the result of wrong turns we took in our lives. Dating the wrong guy or girl? Isolating yourself from friends who were trying to steer you in the right direction? Neglecting responsibilities (eg. school or work) for illegitimate reasons? These are all situations we can ultimately learn from, but usually at a price. Chances are we are less likely to make the same mistake (except maybe with the relationship thing, but don’t get me started), but that doesn’t mean what we did was in God’s plan. It’s important to realize that it is God’s character to turn the mistakes his children make from “lemons into lemonade.” The popular verse Romans 8:28 makes essentially the same point: “And we know all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose.” These words may be comforting, but they should not be an excuse for us not to change our negative behaviors.

It’s also important to note there’s a difference between God allowing or creating a difficult situation and working it out and us creating a difficult situation that he turns positive (although technically anything that happens he allows, but I’m trying not to be too technical). A biblical example of a difficult situation God either allowed or created (I’m saying both because I think the exact answer is more theologically nuanced than I’m prepared to be) is the story of Joseph. In Genesis 50, Joseph, now an Egyptian ruler, says to his brothers who sold him into slavery, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (v. 20).

Compare Joseph’s story to one about King Saul in I Samuel. In it Saul tries to dismiss his choice to ignore God’s exact instructions about conquering another people group. His rationale is that although he didn’t do exactly what God asked, in the end Saul gave Him the best cattle of his plunder. But in I Samuel 15:22 Samuel responds: "Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.”

Further, look at the story of David. In the end we know him as “a man after God’s own heart” (I Samuel 13:14) who was blessed immensely, but he also faced consequences for the poor choices he made that, even by his own admission, could have been avoided (II Samuel 12). These distinctions are important to make regarding our own relationships with God.

Ultimately, when we choose to follow God, we have to decide how serious we want to be about our faith. The goal should not be just to pass into heaven based only on accepting Jesus as Savior; it should be to reach for the rewards. A measure of how serious our faith should be is the way we often approach other commitments. For example, school. Would you really call a semester successful if at the end of it your transcript displayed straight Ds? You’d likely acknowledge passing the class, but not that you were proud of your performance.

Yet with our relationships with God, we often think it’s okay to have mediocre marks. We claim the name of God on Sunday, name Jesus and the Bible as our interests, and wear crosses around our necks. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with this—if we love him, we should claim his name, but that isn’t all we should do. Jesus said in Luke 9:23, “If any man comes after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me daily.” That means that every hour, we are asked to put every sin aside—the urge to make a poor decision, a wrong turn—and live for what it is we say we believe. In the context of this life, the choice is considered “radical”, but the truth is that we are asked to follow the One who knows everything and can make our lives better than we ever could on our own.

Everything may happen for a reason, but that doesn’t mean our self-evaluation should stop there. It should not be enough that we learn from making bad decisions, but that we initially choose God’s best. That’s certainly better than my best.

You're Kidding

One of my favorite phrases is “You have got to be kidding me.” Of course, the proper usage of the expression is “You’re kidding,” but I like to add the “got to be” for emphasis. For me, it’s an all-purpose phrase: I use it when I'm both shocked and angry; when I’m surprised and excited at the same time.

Last week I had the ultimate “You have got to be kidding me” moment at the mall. For the last couple weeks, I’ve had my hair cornrowed up, away from my face. I haven’t worn it like that in years, so it’s gotten a lot of attention (I have a cut-it-or-don’t-do-it philosophy, and I’ve chosen the don’t do it option, so braids are my best friend). It was a particularly bad time to be at the mall because all the little high school kids were prom shopping. I walked into an accessory store to get some clips. One of the employees, 15 (by her admission), walked over to the area I was standing.

“Do you need help shopping for the prom?” she asked.
“Excuse me?” I replied, looking around to make sure she wasn’t looking past me. She wasn’t.
“I’m not in high school…” I began.
“You’re not?” she cut in incredulously.
“No,” I replied, trying my best not to be nasty. “I’m actually past high school and college.”
“Oh, I am sooooo sorry," she said, apparently embarrassed. However, I questioned her sincerity when she kept repeating, “but you look sooooooooo young.”

If that were not enough, less than five minutes later, some kid asked me if I go to his high school.

I will concede I've been told I look younger than my age many times, but not high-school young. Perhaps if I were, I don’t know, like, two decades older, I could have given those kids a little giggle, placed a hand on their arms and said something like “ooohhh, thank you.” But at my age, it is downright insulting. You have got to be kidding me.

To My Girls

Spending the last couple weeks catching up with friends I haven’t seen in months—and in some cases, a year--I’ve been reminded that I know so many phenomenal people, especially my girls. I used to say in high school, now to my embarrassment, “good girlfriends are hard to find, but when you find a few, you have them forever.” But as tacky as it sounds, it’s true.

Some girls like to conclude they can only be friends with guys because girls can be jealous back-stabbers. I tend to find girls who make this conclusion look for the wrong girlfriends, and have the wrong attitude. Example: Those who are so consumed with the fact that other girls “hate” on them. When you stand out (for whatever reason), somebody is going to denigrate you. I’m not saying it can’t be hurtful or that it’s right, but welcome to life. My advice is get over it and be on the lookout for people who don’t act that way.

Enter my girls. They are focused, determined women who have noble goals, and fill their time with activities that will allow them to reach those goals. When one is successful, the others celebrate. And when I bring some of my girlfriends together who don’t know each other, they automatically click because they have agreed to be above the cat fighting so they can learn from--and give to-- each other.

I also disagree with the idea that it is unnecessary to be a woman without good girlfriends because I think every girl who is honest with herself needs another to confide in. Not to knock guy friendships, but we all know that sometimes they can be…um…not just friendships. With female friendships, you just don’t have some of the complications that can happen when guys and girls get together (I believe guys and girls can be just friends-- even just good friends—but not only really-really good friends). Also, there are just things about being a girl that most guys can’t understand, or certain perspectives that only women tend to share. Granted, there are male exceptions, but for the most part other girls can empathize with the delights and down sides of being a woman in a way that a man obviously cannot…

…So this summer is dedicated to my girls. It is yet another season of goodbyes. Some are moving away to pursue graduate degrees, another is taking an out-of-town job; one might be getting married. The days when we saw each other at least a couple times a week as college students are becoming an even more distant memory. But despite the space, I know we’ll keep our friendships near.

On “Owning” Office Attire

Office attire can be the most boring type of clothing. Suits are usually the drabbest forms of brown, black and blue. Then there are those collared shirts you’re supposed to wear under them, which make them even more intolerable. Finally, the covered shoes; I hate pumps with a passion. I first began wearing suits when I started a full-time office job in January 2005. In the beginning, I went with the flow: I purchased blue, black and brown suits, some a little more adventurous with white, pink or purple pinstripes. I also went to Payless and bought a couple pairs of cheap pumps, knowing they would be thrown off my feet the minute I left the building for almost any reason. But I just wasn’t happy with what I was putting on each day; I didn’t want to dress that way, but I thought I had to.

My saving grace was found one day when I went shopping with my mom. I don’t particularly like doing so for too long because, as I like to tell my mother, she is not a true shopper. After visiting just two or three stores, she wants to sit down or go home. I don’t spend a lot of time in each store, but I do hit as many as I can on a trip to the mall, and I like to visit at least two shopping centers on each trip. Anyway, that day in January I was looking for a few more pieces to add to my mounting office clothing collection when my mom held up a top covered with gold sequins.

“Why don’t you wear this under your suit?” she suggested.
Used to disagreeing with my mom’s sense of fashion, without looking at it I blurted out “No!” Then I turned toward it, and at that moment, I asked myself….:Why can’t I wear something like that to work?” Wracking my brain, I couldn’t find a reason not to; it would be underneath complying attire, after all.

From then on, I enjoyed getting dressed in the morning. Lace tank tops underneath the suit? I was so on it. Sleeveless turtleneck sweaters? So me. Cute little plain T-shirts—Check, if they matched the suit’s pinstripes. I even started wearing tube tops. Although I’m usually not a fan of them because I don’t like having to pull up my attire every five seconds, I don’t have to worry about that when I have something on top of it. Finally, the flower in the hair that matched the lip gloss added a nice unique touch.

By that time, summer came around, and I was especially itching to get out of those covered shoes. By that point, I had switched to boots, some with unusual colors such as cranberry red or shiny snakeskin boots in gray and copper. Granted, they looked a little “clubbish,” but I had even middle-aged women who tend to be to-the-letter when it comes to office clothing asking where they could get pairs. I think I set off an office trend…Anyway, by summer, I was so ready to forgo socks for sandals, but I was afraid to wear them to work with a suit, especially at a large stuffy law firm. However, one day I noticed a woman in lime-green sandals similar to some I had in my closet. That was all I needed. From then on, it was sandals in almost any color for which you could also find as a crayon. The process of making office attire my own was now complete.

When I went back to school last fall I was once again in baby T-shirts and jeans in the fall and winter; jean skirts (and of course sandals) in the spring. Now that I’m working at a legal clinic this summer, I have implemented some of my changes to office attire, wearing it even on casual days.

I think I’ll keep my changes even as an attorney. I’m already trying to get some pointers from other code-breakers I’ve met in the halls of the courthouse. One attorney wore a dark purple suit earlier this week. It was near-hideous with a gold zipper on the jacket instead of buttons, but she did give me the name of a store that has suits in more than just the expected colors. I’ll definitely be checking it out. With all the hours I’ll likely be working after graduation, I have to be in comfortable clothing. As long as I can add my touch to it, I’ll continue looking forward to getting dressed in the morning.

A Little Girl on Her Knees; A Grown Woman on Her Knees

Before I started law school, I had been teaching Sunday School since I was in eleventh grade. I’ve always loved it because kids are so open to learning new things, and most of them catch on quickly.

Today I filled in for a teacher who always takes Mother’s Day off. I was feeling a little mushy because in the church service the same children had just performed an adorable Mother’s Day skit and song. The theme was “Don’t Forget to Pray.” At the end of the mini-musical, a first-grade girl epitomizing cuteness in a flowery yellow dress stood in front of a microphone and softly said, “Thank you, mom, for reminding us to pray.”

In truth, what the children had to say (or were told to say), was quite insightful. We really put so many things in front of prayer when we are not focused on God. But if we have relationships with God, prayer should be such an intricate part of our lives—we can talk to God anywhere, and any time. I’ve grown so much from seeking God with everything, which means, among other things, praying constantly, and I see a difference when I choose not to.

But more than the lesson I learned from the presentation was a reminder that I once stood in the same place as those children, singing the same songs and learning the same verses. I also thought about how these kids are going to grow up, like I did, and they’ll have a foundation, a knowledge of God from a young age that they will either choose to make a part of their adult lives, or choose to give it up. Or maybe they’ll initially make one choice, and change course later in life.

I pray I always choose God’s way. Sometimes I think about how I’ve never had a “rebellious” period, but I’m also reminded that God is most concerned with our motivation—not whether the rest of the world tells us we’re “good” or “well-behaved.” As the verse in Matthew says, it is possible to honor God with our lips, but have our hearts far from him (Matthew 15:8). God doesn’t see what we see—We look at the outside; but God sees the heart (I Samuel 16:7). If we say we love him, our challenge is for our characters to become closer to his (II Corinthians 3:18).

I’ll always be a work in progress, but I want to be one on my knees, just like I was when I was young. And I pray those children make the same choice.

A Must-See Film

I just saw Human Trafficking, one of the best movies I have ever seen. I’m the kind of person who puts most films in the “okay” category, and I’m open to most anything that doesn’t have excessive cursing, graphic sex scenes or full nudity. (Okay, that actually eliminates a lot of moviesJ.) However, I also tend to fall asleep whenever I watch a movie, and as a result I rarely go to a theatre to see one (The dark room, the couch or the relatively comfortable theatre seating makes me want to lay my head against the arm rest and catch some zzzzzs) When I say a movie is incredible after seeing it only once, it means, at the very least, that I actually watched the whole thing without falling asleep.…
What I loved about the movie was the fact that it presented such a vivid picture of a topic we don’t usually consider in the context of American society, human trafficking. We think India, China, Africa (the “country”, not the continent). But the movie is set not only abroad in the Philippines and Eastern Europe, but also in New York and Washington, D.C. Sex slaves are found in each location. In fact, according to the film, America creates the largest demand for human trafficking in the world.
Throughout the film, a number of vignettes with round characters are woven together: a Ukrainian father seeking to find his daughter who was sold into slavery under the guise of a modeling contract; a hardworking, a Czech single mother who had dinner with the wrong guy; a girl about eight years old from the Philippines sold into slavery by her poor parents; an American family whose 12-year-old daughter is stolen and taken to a kiddy brothel; the trafficking lords who orchestrate the operation, and the Department of Homeland Security officers who are trying to put a stop to it all.
Although some aspects of the movie are unbelievable—some of the accents, the way the vignettes come together, and to an extent the way the operation is busted—it does show the gravity of being a sex slave. I was especially struck by the child pornography story line. A scene with an American actor from New York is especially disturbing…But seriously, I should stop talking about the movie, because it’s one you need to see. Be prepared, however, it’s a three-hour, two-part film; the first part sets up the high-drama that ensues in the second. I love serious films that educate and purely humorous ones alike, and this one is certainly a film that should leave you more socially conscious than you were before it….(insert suspenseful promotional music) Mira Sorvino. Donald Sutherland. Human Trafficking. A must-see film. (This film is not rated.) Okay. Let me stop; I’m probably amusing only myself.

Welcome to My Blog

Welcome to my blog. It really is odd this is my first; I studied blogs in college before they became so popular. Also, I’m known for always having something to say. I guess I’m kind of turned off by the idea of people being able to read what I’m thinking so readily; I’d rather just write in my private journal. But there are some thoughts that I’m okay with the world having access to—I do plan to write a non-fiction book about my thoughts on a topic I really care about, after all. In this blog I’ll probably write about the news media, my summer internship, law school impressions, food, working out (which is more of an aspiration than a reality at this point, but this summer I want muscles of Maddona-like proportions—I’m like, 35 percent there:)), God, family, friends..Anyway, here it is. I’m not going to go out of my way to publicize it, but if you actually might care what I have to say, drop by once in a while…