To My Girls

Spending the last couple weeks catching up with friends I haven’t seen in months—and in some cases, a year--I’ve been reminded that I know so many phenomenal people, especially my girls. I used to say in high school, now to my embarrassment, “good girlfriends are hard to find, but when you find a few, you have them forever.” But as tacky as it sounds, it’s true.

Some girls like to conclude they can only be friends with guys because girls can be jealous back-stabbers. I tend to find girls who make this conclusion look for the wrong girlfriends, and have the wrong attitude. Example: Those who are so consumed with the fact that other girls “hate” on them. When you stand out (for whatever reason), somebody is going to denigrate you. I’m not saying it can’t be hurtful or that it’s right, but welcome to life. My advice is get over it and be on the lookout for people who don’t act that way.

Enter my girls. They are focused, determined women who have noble goals, and fill their time with activities that will allow them to reach those goals. When one is successful, the others celebrate. And when I bring some of my girlfriends together who don’t know each other, they automatically click because they have agreed to be above the cat fighting so they can learn from--and give to-- each other.

I also disagree with the idea that it is unnecessary to be a woman without good girlfriends because I think every girl who is honest with herself needs another to confide in. Not to knock guy friendships, but we all know that sometimes they can be…um…not just friendships. With female friendships, you just don’t have some of the complications that can happen when guys and girls get together (I believe guys and girls can be just friends-- even just good friends—but not only really-really good friends). Also, there are just things about being a girl that most guys can’t understand, or certain perspectives that only women tend to share. Granted, there are male exceptions, but for the most part other girls can empathize with the delights and down sides of being a woman in a way that a man obviously cannot…

…So this summer is dedicated to my girls. It is yet another season of goodbyes. Some are moving away to pursue graduate degrees, another is taking an out-of-town job; one might be getting married. The days when we saw each other at least a couple times a week as college students are becoming an even more distant memory. But despite the space, I know we’ll keep our friendships near.