THIS I KNOW

I’m not a poet. I’ll actually admit I have somewhat of a disdain for poetry, but mostly because many J School and (non-poetry) English teachers always told me real writers don’t deal primarily in verse; they may use poetic techniques every once in a while, but only to help them write good papers—and good articles (however, I do appreciate spoken word done right). Anyway, occasionally I write the anti-poem poem (Okay, so maybe it's not so "anti")…(shhh...). I don’t claim it’s great—actually, it stinks…but sometimes I just get the urge to express myself that way. Here I go (don’t laugh; He, to whom this poem is addressed, didn’t:)).

THIS I KNOW

Sometimes I can’t feel you…you seem so far away.
I wonder where you are—do you hear me when I pray?
I know you do—in my head I mean, but sometimes my heart goes astray
It’s times like those when I pray what David prayed—search me—
Search me, Oh God, and know my heart, try me and know my thoughts…
Let me hang on, until I get it—until my heart gets it…

I’ve gone days like this—cheerful, but not joyful;
Me, but not completely—
Hang on, I keep saying, because I know there’s a light…

Then, without fail, you show it to me…
It’s not always so bright—sometimes it’s glowing from a corner;
But then I go closer, and it covers all of me…

Sometimes I see it when I least expect it—
Like now, when I’m all alone, typing for class…

And suddenly I understand it’s a lovely day; you hear me when I pray.

I’m not much the rhymer--thoughts don’t come out that perfectly—
I’m much more the weeper—I let it all out, and know you’ll make sense of it.

…so thank you for making sense of me, and showing me I’m never alone;
You’re with me, and you want to show me great things—
You do show me great things—
If I just hang on.

You love me, this I know.
You’ve told me so—over and over again…

And I praise you.

MY PARENTS' 30TH...

Tomorrow is my parents’ 30th wedding anniversary.

Thirty years. Considering all the personal changes that happen during that period, it’s an especially long time. When I add the five-plus years they dated, together they’ve experienced almost all their “find yourself” years (the early-to-mid 20s); their late 20s to mid 30s, which for them included moving and adjusting to another country, living the grad student life, changing states three times—in three different regions—and having three kids by the end of it. They also soldiered through their late 30s, 40s, and now 50s, together (they won't care I'm dating them. They're proud of their ages, and neither look it:)).

Each readily admits that, today, they are different, better people (actually, wait minute—my mom always says she’s never changed. We all believe her. She was born grown. However, both my mom and dad agree my dad has changed:)).

What’s their secret? They understand what commitment means—what love is. They’re not the kind who has stayed married for appearances, or even “for the kids.” They are the kind who takes the one as the other is, don’t sweat the small stuff, and understand that bumps are just part of life. They smile through them and support each other—through births, deaths, moves…and much more. They also don’t hold back; they’re direct with each other—neither fakes. They honor the commitment they made, and neither believes divorce is an option--and they act like it.

“Love” is an often-amorphous word we just kind of throw around, but don’t really know what it means. Looking at today’s world, it’s largely because there are few examples to show us. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the intricacies of this thing we all crave so much. But I’m getting it, because of them…

…so, to mom and dad: THANK YOU—For showing me what human love (with God's help) looks like. It’s imperfect—unlike God’s love—but if my love can be enough like yours, I’ll fulfill, to borrow from Paul (the Apostle), this “trustworthy” marriage--and life--motto:

“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” ~Colossians 3: 12-14

What a challenge. But, I think I’ll be up for it, when God says…so, to the last 30 years, and, God willing, to my parents' next 30…together...