Fasting

I love good food. “Good” is highly seasoned, flavorful-yet-reasonably healthy cuisine-not your cheap, artery-clogging grease from KFC or Mickey D’s. To get what I want, I either have to make it or go to a restaurant with at least a couple stars. A friend and I recently lamented on how eating out “our style” at least three nights a week this past year greatly stretched our law-student budgets. In short, I do good food—or no food.

Naturally, God takes the earthly things we hold dear and uses them to stretch us spiritually. My God-given challenge: Not eating, i.e., fasting.

Jesus gave directions for this spiritual discipline in Matthew 6: 16-18:

When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

In light of this passage, this entry isn’t to proclaim that I’ve fasted, but to share how God is using my weakness to take me to another level with Him.

My first regular experience doing it was an (optional) lunch-time fast and prayer meeting Wednesdays at my Christian high school. Most of us still brought drinks. I’d have the most filling I could find: some thick, syrupy strawberry soda or ten-juice blend. In those days, the idea that not eating was supposed to shift my focus from food to God was somewhat lost on me. However, I do credit those lunch-hour experiences with helping me recognize that fasting should be part of my relationship with God.

I dabbled a little more with fasting in college, but not much more. I’d still usually just skip a meal and pray some. But my first year of law school I started doing it a lot more, and for longer.

At first I didn’t know if I could really do it that year. Eating a good meal was the highlight of days that started really early, ended really late and consisted almost completely of class and studying. Additionally, I wasn’t sure how much time I could spend praying and reading the Word when I had so much else to do. But I also felt I had no choice—I was so overwhelmed, and knew only God could get me through, just like how He had gotten me into law school.

I fasted once a week for most of that year. God kept opening points of the day where I could get away from my library cubby or take a walk after class to spend more time with Him. Yeah, my stomach growled sometimes—and I was tempted to think about things like this nearby deli that had the most amazing salad bar with all these homemade ingredients. Initially there were also headaches that I wanted to claim were divine signs for me to stop fasting “for health reasons.” But as I pushed the thoughts aside, I focused more on Him rather than food. And the headaches disappeared.

I never spent much time evaluating the spiritual effects of those fasts, but I know that, overall, seeking His face that year—and the two that followed—made my law school years successful in so many ways.

More recently, I’ve been challenged to fast more. One of the things I struggle with is worry. Sometimes it creeps up on me because it doesn’t so much come in stomach pangs or other physical manifestations, but through thoughts. My mind travels from A to Z (without skipping letters) in like, three seconds. When I start a thought with “what if,” almost every possible scenario—good and bad, will travel through my head without me even blinking. When I fast, I’m reminded to “set my mind on things above” (Colosians 3:2); give my thoughts to God rather than be anxious and think about excellent, praiseworthy things (Philippians 4:6-8).

I’ve also been reading an aptly-titled book, “Fasting” by Jentezen Franklin (I didn’t even know who that was, but I kept seeing his book at Family Christian Bookstores. It’s now the “Book of the Month,” which means I got it for $10-40% off). The chapters are short, and it really cuts to the chase about the benefits of fasting and how Christians are actually commanded to do it. Chapter 2 is called “Dethroning King Stomach” and gives biblical examples about how the lure of food cost some God’s blessings. Chapter 5 addresses the benefits of a 40-day fast (I’m still building faith and stamina for that one:)).Thus far, I’d recommend it!

Wherever we are in our faith, God calls us to “add” always— reach for the next level (2 Peter 1: 5-11). Food never really goes away, but God’s best might.

Food and I are very close, but I want God closer.

Boots that Fit

I’ve always had skinny legs. To borrow from Terry Hatcher, “I could gain 30 pounds, and none of it would go to my legs” (translation: it would NOT look good). I don’t have a problem with them during spring and summer—they fit right in with those seasonal fashions. But when fall comes, there is a problem. Until recently, Enemy Number One was boots.

Ladies, some of you might know what I mean: the gap between the boot and the leg that happens when you have small gams. With ankle-length boots, the space can make you trip. On most knee-length or thigh-high boots, it just looks really unfashionable—like you borrowed shoes from your older sister (that didn’t fit). The only solace had been those stretch boots, but I haven’t seen them in abundance since high school—“circa” late 90s? Even then, I spent more time pulling them up than I did walking.

Until a couple years ago, I had been resigned to wearing boots in the most boring way: under some boot-cut jeans. But the return of the boots-over-the-pants fashion has given girls like me a chance to look trendy in fall and winter, like here:



Sometimes there’s still a gap with them, but it’s not as noticeable. Pair them with those new skinny jeans, as shown here, and I feel like I have another A-plus option!

And then there’s those slouch boot



Oh, I could sing of their virtues all day long. Because the whole boot stretches out, they appear to beef up the leg, hiding the skinny. If they’re small enough in the calf area, I can even wear them with a knee-length skirt or dress—which I had wistfully watched other women do for years.

I’ve also found that timing matters. My best chance to get boots that fit is early fall shopping season—like, end of summer. This year I began aggressively looking in August. After three unsuccessful weeks, I found three pairs at Arundel Mills: some dark brown, knee-length slouch boots that narrow at the calves; slim, calf-length suede ones in black; another pair of slouch ones that are cinnamon brown, leather and reach the upper ankle. Throw in a couple other winners from DSW and Nordstrom Rack, and I have had a profitable month in boots shopping!

Another trend I like this year? The abundance of sweater dresses! I’m looking forward to wearing them with cute belts….and boots that actually fit.

Courage

I know I haven’t blogged in a while, but I’m back. I’m trying to do an entry a day (or every other day) for a while, so check in!

When people ask me what my biggest fear is, my gut response is dogs. I don’t like things that regularly lick, bark, jump and can only respond to commands like “sit,” “go,” or “here boy.” Since you can’t really talk to them, you never know what they’ll do. Any time I hear a “ruff ruff,” I think “When Animals Attack.”

But if I really ponder it, I don’t know that my biggest fear is dogs. Another thing I fear: the future.

For the last couple months, I’ve had to confront this fear. On the one hand, I’ve experienced the high of God taking a dream that began decades ago in elementary school, when I discovered the joy I found in putting my thoughts on thick-lined paper using those equally massive jumbo pencils, and most recently, packaging the love into an unexpected reality: law school graduation. I can’t believe how much He’s blessed me in little more than a quarter century.

But the end of something is always the start of something else. I’m excited about life after school, but also wonder what God has planned for the next phase of my life. That’s where the fear comes in. Will this next round be just as wonderful as the one that ended?

Recently, God’s spoken to me about my fear through His Word. I didn’t set out to do a “fear” study, but I kept seeing the lesson in the passages I read. One reoccurring story was the Israelites’ long journey to the land God had promised their ancestors. It’s likely a familiar story, as it was for me, but rereading it brought it to life again. I think it’s worth rehashing.

After God had delivered the Israelites from slavery in Egypt, He revealed to them the location of the land He had already promised. The land, Canaan, had other inhabitants, and the people were told first to send twelve spies to see how they could conquer it. After returning, ten of the twelve spies reported that although the land was as great as God had said, it would be too difficult to conquer it because of the people living there. In fear, they said,

“…the land through which we have gone as spies is a land that devours its inhabitants, and all the people whom we saw are men of great stature. There we saw giants (the descendants of Anak came from the giants) and we were like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so were we in their sight.” Numbers 13: 32b-33.

Only two spies, Caleb and Joshua, said the people could conquer the land with God’s help.

“…if the Lord delights in us, then He will bring us to this land and give it to us, ‘a land which flows with milk and honey,’” they told the people. In response, the people threatened to stone them (Numbers 14: 6-10).

As a result of their fear and unbelief despite all that God had done for them in the past, the Israelites of that generation were not allowed to enter Canaan. Caleb and Joshua were the only exceptions. The rest died in the wilderness over forty years, one year for each of the forty days the spies were sent into the land (Numbers 14: 26-38).

When the Israelites were finally allowed to enter Canaan, they still had to face their fears. But before he led the people into the land, God told Joshua,

“6 Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1: 6-9.

I’ve always been a fan of verses 7-8 for the importance of studying God’s Word for obedience and blessing. However, the devotional book I had been reading pointed out the “anti-fear” lesson. God told Joshua three times to “be strong and courageous,” one time to be very strong and courageous. Why: because God promised to be with Joshua wherever he went.

That hit me. Often, we focus on how we find strength in Christ—sometimes to the exclusion of recognizing that also means we are to be actively strong and courageous. Of course, we can only be these things if we’re following Him, but I think the lesson of being courageous is still often diminished in the name of elevating God’s strength over our own. But God’s strength is our strength, so the lesson is one of faith and responsibility (i.e., “have courage"), as Israel’s story illustrates.

The story also explains the role that fear can play in keeping us from seeing the things God has for us. The Israelites had to believe that God would give them the blessings He promised despite the fact that with human eyes those blessings seemed impossible. Because they chose fear over courage, they in turn were disobedient and, ultimately, never received their blessing. God, however, was still faithful to His promise to give the Israelites their land. It’s a lesson that when we don’t choose to have courage, God still fulfills His plans, but we’re the ones who miss out.

A book I stumbled on at the bookstore also addressed the story, and had this to say about fear:

“All of us have struggled with feelings of self-doubt and discouragement. Even godly men and women in God’s Word battled many fears and temptations. However, they learned that resignation and disobedience only lead to further disappointment and defeat. God has not designed you for failure. He created you for success—not success from the world’s perspective, but success His way—which glorifies and honors Him and also brings many blessings” (p. 11).

Charles Stanley. Stuck in Reverse: Break Free from Fear and Disbelief and Enjoy the Good Things God has for You (2008).

That’s the essence of courage in Christ—fulfilling His purpose for our lives. The popular Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has plans not to harm us, but to prosper us. We can be confident to face the unknown because we know that God will never lead us in a direction of disaster (by contrast, we can lead ourselves that way). As the book excerpt also pointed out, God’s plans do not necessarily involve the world’s success, and, as we know, it does involve hardship (John 16:33). Fear—of the unseen or seen— keeps us from seeing God’s grand picture for our lives.

A final no-fear passage: Psalm 37, also about God’s plans for those who follow Him. Many like verse 4: “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” About not fearing in uncertain times, verses 7-8 say: “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.”

My favorite line: “Don’t fret-it only leads to evil.” When we get scared, let’s not forget the good God has already done for us, and His promise to guide our future. Forgoing fear and remembering His promises lead us to fulfill the God-given call to Courage.