Purity. I can never exhaust discussion about it. What’s on my mind this time is actually thoughts about men approaching women in purity.
It may seem like somewhat of a misplaced topic. There’s only one other instance I can recall doing an entry about men. As in that case, I was inspired by discussions I had with others. Also as I mentioned there, I am of course not an authority on men – nor is it my role to be one. Rather, I’m simply sharing a few thoughts God brought to mind on this issue.
Some friends hosted an awesome co-ed dialogue this weekend about how men and women in the Body of Christ should relate to each other in both romantic relationships and friendships; as brothers and sisters in Christ. There were single and married people and a good, near-even mix of men and women (at least by the middle of the night, lol). One of exercises was for women and men to write down questions about dealing with the opposite sex. The men and women then split up and picked a couple questions the other sex wrote down to answer that we then discussed collectively.
One of the questions that a man posed, and the ladies decided to answer, was “what are the ‘signs’ that a woman is interested and wanting a man to ask her out?” I think this question raised some of the best conversation of the night. One of the issues both men and women contemplated as a result of that question is how men of God can truly approach women differently than men without Christ do. The dialogue brought out some thoughts I had long been contemplating, and also enlightened me on others. This entry is a culmination of them all.
The Misguided “Hunt” Principle
I think generally, in the Christian community, we have misled men on how –and when – to approach women.
How? I think we’ve encouraged men to be “hunters” but haven’t necessarily told them how to pursue women purposely. I know I’m not the first person to say that, but I do think proper pursuit has often been left out of instruction to Christian men on godly dating.
We’ve forgotten to tell men that they should seek God’s leading before they choose which women to date, not after they’ve started dating a woman. We tell women all the time to trust God for a husband, but often just tell men to go out looking. We are often reminded that “HE who finds a wife finds a good thing” (my paraphrase of the comment and the verse) or references to Bible stories such as “Rebekah did not find Isaac; Isaac found her.”
As I was reminded in the story of Isaac and Rebekah by a sermon I listened to, Isaac was not even the one who went out to “find” Rebekah: God used the servant of his father Abraham to bring her to him. In fact, just before they were introduced, Isaac was out in a field spending time with God, meditating. The Bible does not even indicate whether Isaac was at all aware that a servant was sent afar to find a wife for him. But we do know that God orchestrated the arrival of a godly woman for him.
I’m not saying that a man should just pray and not ask out any woman – but that he should do so at God’s leading. Romans 8:14 says: “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.” (NKJV) What is supposed to distinguish believers in Christ is that we don’t just act on sight alone in any circumstance; instead, we are guided by The Spirit.
A man being “led by the Spirit” in pursuing a woman requires a vision. Proverbs 29:18 says, “Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint; but blessed is the one who heeds wisdom’s instruction.” The KJV uses the word “vision” in place of revelation. I think the NLT breaks it down some more: “When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is joyful.” Godly direction is necessary to keep us from making detrimental choices – and we thrive with it!
I believe a man should have a list of essential, God-centered characteristics that a woman should posses before dating (as should a woman for a man). I’ve shared how God helped me develop a godly list, so I won’t talk about lists in any more detail here.
In the Woods…
Rather than being led by the Spirit, even Christian men often approach dating as hunters looking to land whatever they see that is somehow in sphere or range. Quite often, even godly men will pick a woman to date not based on a vision, but a couple tidbits about her, number one that she’s cute and, for example, sings in the choir, leads a small group, or has a father in ministry. Or maybe even that she has a “great personality” (I’ve shared my opinion on the potential for personality to be a “false positive” before). But none of those things say much about a woman’s spiritual condition and character – two of the most important ingredients for a godly relationship. Yet we pretty much tell men to just shoot metaphorical darts and eventually the right woman, “the one,” will be the target hit.
If attractiveness, and maybe a tidbit here or there, is the basis for a Christian man pursuing a woman romantically, how is that any different from the world? In Hollywood films, a love story usually starts with a man seeing a beautiful woman and then pursing her, until they reach happily ever after. While a godly man should of course be attracted to a woman he dates, despite what some might say–in a godly pursuit, I believe a man should have much more than that to go on before asking out a woman.
Admittedly, “hunting” with the eyes works for some Christian men. We hear these stories, which, in my experience, tend to be from pastors or other men in ministry, about how a godly man set his sight on a woman at church or Christian college that every guy thought was smokin’ hot– although he knew little else about her. The man subsequently asked her out, she said yes, and she also ended up being the most godly woman on the planet. Then they got married, have had a child every 1.5 years for the last ten years, and every day of their marriage is reportedly steamier than the last.
The success in these instances, I believe, probably has more to do with God’s plan for the couple’s life than the approach in pursuing that the man took, and with the underlying vision the man may have had beyond the woman’s appearance. I don’t know what the statistics are, but, from what I’ve observed, people called to full-time ministry tend to get married earlier, and marriage is often seen as a necessity for ministry, which might make these stories in such contexts ripe for the happening (I did do a little digging and found this interesting blog post about pastors and marriage at least that supports my assertion).
But there are a lot of godly men who take that same “hunting” approach, but end up getting burned, and repeatedly at that. For example, a man sees some woman that looks good to him –especially in a “controlled” setting such as church, but the woman rejects him outright, and painfully so, or he finds out things about her in dating that he could have ruled out in friendship.
At some point, the lack of direction in pursuit takes a toll on a godly man, whether by him just getting sick of the whole dating thing and choosing to take a “hiatus,” however long, or in becoming even more desensitized to restraint in approaching women.
The result? A problematic paradigm that contradicts God’s design for the man as the pursuer - and affects godly women. While I talk about the man not taking any old risk, it is still a man’s job to take the right ones.
“FOB” and the Godly Man’s “Loss” Responsibility
There’s actually a concept we come across in the law that I thought about during our discussion of the man’s God-given role as the pursuer that I’ll share (although I think churches tend to get this part right, but don’t take it far enough in discussing what vision a man should have as he pursues). It’s not a legal concept per se, but it is relevant to legal issues involving contracts and accounting. It’s the buyer-seller concept of FOB (sometimes meaning “Free” or “Freight” On Board, or something else, depending on the region of the world and the type of transaction).
Anyway (and I’m getting to the relevant part), in one context, FOB Destination means that when a seller - say, a manufacturer of laptop computers, ships the goods (i.e., the laptops) to a buyer, such as Best Buy, if anything happens to the shipment while it’s in transit, before it is delivered to the buyer– for example, it falls off a ship or truck; gets burned or stolen, the seller is responsible for the cost of any such accident. In contrast, the buyer has no responsibility to pay for any loss (absent a contrary agreement with the seller). Thus, in an “FOB Destination” situation, the seller, not the buyer, bears the “risk of loss” – i.e., the cost of a failed shipment.
Likewise, God has designed it so that the man’s role as a leader of the family gives him that same kind of “FOB Destination” risk as the seller in pursuing a woman before marriage. He should be fully aware that rejection is always his risk to bear as the initiator – and even be prepared that it is likely to happen at least once. Further, there’s only so much of a “signal” a godly woman can give to a man to allay his fears about whether she is interested other than an open attitude (and chances are that if a woman is giving a man some “certainty” that she wants to date him that eliminates all risk in asking, it may not be the right woman to date!). Men of God just have to accept that the risk is their responsibility – and their reward!
Calculated Risk
At the same time, this should make men more discerning about the kind of risks they take in dating. Proverbs 4:23 - which is often used only for women in the relationship context - provides direction for men. It think it’s so good it needs to be stated in several versions that I think all help understand it better:
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. (NIV © 1984)
Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life. (NKJV)
Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. (ESV)
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. (NLT)
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (NIV © 2011)
When a man opens his heart to just any woman, especially as he often has to do in “hunting,” he can cause himself the kind of heartbreak that makes asking out godly women under the right circumstances a problem that it shouldn’t be. I do believe that even in instances where men don’t move when they could have God can still work in situations – but it makes them stickier than they ever had to be. When a man guards his heart from just any woman, he positions himself in a healthy place to move toward the right kind of woman according to God’s paradigm.
I know some women would disagree, but I think a good principle for a godly man is to hold off dating a woman he is interested in until he can, with good intention and avoidance of confusion to the woman, get to know her true character in friendship. I say it that way because there can be a tendency for a man to keep things undefined until he thinks he can be “absolutely certain” that the woman will date him when asked. In turn, his actions can end up appearing to give the woman mixed signals about his intentions.
But, in many, if not most, instances, before entering an exclusive dating relationship, there will probably never be a clear signal from God for a man that indicates a woman is near absolutely his wife (and there can never be complete certainty until “I Do” – e.g., even if all wedding plans are in place, a tragedy such as death could occur beforehand). I believe the point of the friendship phase is to find out compatibility and character, and to see if there are any characteristics that “rule out” the woman based on a man’s godly vision. A man has to trust that, if he takes this approach, God will direct him.
If a man is seeking God’s direction and can’t rule out the possibility that a relationship with a woman could work out, but has solid reasons for why it could, I believe it becomes the man’s responsibility to take the chance by initiating a dating relationship.
Some relevant questions: A man doesn’t know if a woman will absolutely say yes to him? There’s not supposed to be a guarantee that she will. He’s not positive that he could see himself married to her? A “could marry,” based on a godly vision, may be the most that he can know without taking that step in faith. He doesn’t have all the answers about how much money he thinks he needs to earn to support a family in the event that the relationship does, in fact, lead to marriage? He can hand that fear over to God, and take any practical steps he can to prepare himself for the possibility of marriage. Colossians 1: 17 says, “He is before all things, and in Him, all things hold together.” Proverbs 37: 4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” It’s amazing what God does when we recognize His sovereignty and seek him in our desires – including in dating!
Further, if a man approaches a godly woman in a godly way and it does not work out, he will most likely lose far less than in a more random hunt. He may still gain friendship with a sister in Christ – or at least godly insight for the next relationship! And with the right pursuit, the outcome of an unsuccessful relationship will certainly be much healthier than the “missed target” result that can come from just “hunting” based on looks and little else. And where a man is led by the Spirit, he has the ultimate security that God will not disappoint him. That’s yet another risk mitigator!
For The Ladies
How do women fit into the “search” puzzle? I think that in all friendships and dating relationships with men, we have to trust God’s sovereignty as well. As I’ve shared, I tend to believe that, based on scripture, absent some direction from God in a specific situation to the contrary, a woman should not be the one to declare the desire for a relationship (Lately, I heard the story of a missionary couple where the woman told the man I love you after an eight-year I-might-like-you-I might-not friendship and it worked out, but I tend to see those kinds of stories as the exception). I believe that a woman guarding her heart should mean that no matter how much she cares for a man, if he does not move the relationship in a romantic direction, she does not give her heart to him.
If a man never moves a relationship from friendship to romance, it most likely was not God’s will for it to happen. Part of trusting God’s sovereignty is knowing that we can only see what’s in front of us, while God sees all. We may think that some man is so right for us, but God may have someone -- or something – else in mind that we have yet to see.
At the same time, I don’t think it’s wrong for a woman to desire a particular relationship as long as her desire lines up with Scripture, and she gives it to God and follows His direction – including if He gives her a direction for the desire to change. I’ve listened to stories of couples who were in this situation, and God used the wait time to increase both people’s faith – and the man eventually recognized that God was leading him in the same direction that the woman desired. Sometimes we have a timetable for when things should happen, but God may have a certain work in man or woman before the relationship should happen (not that a man and woman become “more deserving” of a marriage by God working in them, but that God may have particular lessons to teach them in preparation for their union).
However, in these instances a woman also has to remain open to other potential husbands that God could bring her way – but she has to be responsive to men purposely as well – not in retaliation to man she may desire to date who has not spoken up, or because she thinks that she has to just “try other people” to see what will stick. As a man should be observing the character of any woman in friendship, so should a woman.
I think in the wait for marriage in any circumstance, it helps to remember that there are far worse fates than not being married by a certain time – i.e., marrying the wrong person (talk about prison)! I think that where a woman guards her heart, she can learn to navigate different situations with men and have the discernment of when to say yes to an opportunity to date a man, and when to say no (as a man should have trust in God’s sovereignty when a woman does, in fact, say no).
Also, ladies, our biggest concern for brothers (and sisters) in Christ should be encouraging them in their walks with God – not our personal desires. Often, male and female relationships get sticky because each is more concerned with his or her own relationship desires than God’s will for the other person. When we think about how we can encourage and spur each other on toward love and good deeds, God takes care of meeting any relationship desires that are in line with His will. Caring about a brother’s spiritual well-being first is how we keep our desires in check, and all relationships with the opposite sex on firm footing!
Conclusion
After writing way more than I anticipated, I am not even interested in ending with a cute conclusion to match my title as I often try to do – my head hurts! I guess the most I’ll say is that I think men and women of God need to have more conversations about how to associate with each other in a godly way. Hebrews 10: 24 tells us to consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. The following verse says that believers should continue to meet together for encouragement. With the state of male and female relationships in our society – and in The Body – men and women need this kind of productive, God-centered counsel from each other. I give my buddies an “A+!”
Monday, June 27, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Photo Opp
I don’t usually put up photos, but I’m really exited about the one here, which is of me and my little brother. There’s a bit of background that I’ll share…
For months my mom had been wanting to take a family photo (which also includes my dad and two siblings). Well, about February of this year, I got one of those Living Social "Daily Deals" for like 75% off the price of a photo shoot and several prints. Thinking this was a great opportunity to get the desired family portrait, I purchased the deal. The expiration date was a few months after, on June 24.
Naturally, these types of things that take schedule coordination can easily end up unused. We already knew we’d have to wait until at least May, when one of my siblings would be back in town for the summer. Then, some weeks each of us were in and out of town, which further pushed the date back. Before we knew it, June 23 - the only day we were all available to take the photo before the deadline - had arrived.
To meet the 24th deadline, I had spent approximately one week beforehand booking, and rebooking, to meet various schedule conflicts and requests, which took shuffling on all of our parts.
But, alas, only one other family member made it to take the photo, which would be, of course, my self-proclaimed protégé, my little brother (as many folks know, I am always talking about him. It’s in part because he is the only person in my family younger than me, whom I watched grow up and hand in “raising,” if you will, although we are just shy of three years apart. The other, related reasons are the fact that he listens and responds to what I say, values my opinion, and in many ways has a similar sense of humor. He also has just generally grown into a good, God-honoring human being with his own personality – i.e., not just like mine. You can’t help but sing the praises of someone with those characteristics!)
Anyway, others in the fam did make efforts to attend. And, I suppose, a 40% attendance is better than just me, for that matter. And the photos really did come out well (which is why I am sharing one of them)!
Perhaps I should take my little brother’s advice and just wait for my parents to plan a shoot next time. The "silver lining," I suppose, it that the whole family actually liked the picture and has put at least one in “his, or her, respective wallet,” lol. My dad also came to the studio in time to help select the photos, and my mom requested copies for both of her most-used purses. And it will be added to our walls! The contributions, or lack thereof, of any others “shall not be enumerated herein”:).
Relating this post to my blog theme, I’m thankful for God giving me such a great family. There’s a lot of love and forgiveness (As in, the forgiveness I have extended for such a transgression as missing a family photo). As James 1 says, every good and perfect gift comes from above. My fam is no exception!
Until the next opportunity, we will settle for this one...
For months my mom had been wanting to take a family photo (which also includes my dad and two siblings). Well, about February of this year, I got one of those Living Social "Daily Deals" for like 75% off the price of a photo shoot and several prints. Thinking this was a great opportunity to get the desired family portrait, I purchased the deal. The expiration date was a few months after, on June 24.
Naturally, these types of things that take schedule coordination can easily end up unused. We already knew we’d have to wait until at least May, when one of my siblings would be back in town for the summer. Then, some weeks each of us were in and out of town, which further pushed the date back. Before we knew it, June 23 - the only day we were all available to take the photo before the deadline - had arrived.
To meet the 24th deadline, I had spent approximately one week beforehand booking, and rebooking, to meet various schedule conflicts and requests, which took shuffling on all of our parts.
But, alas, only one other family member made it to take the photo, which would be, of course, my self-proclaimed protégé, my little brother (as many folks know, I am always talking about him. It’s in part because he is the only person in my family younger than me, whom I watched grow up and hand in “raising,” if you will, although we are just shy of three years apart. The other, related reasons are the fact that he listens and responds to what I say, values my opinion, and in many ways has a similar sense of humor. He also has just generally grown into a good, God-honoring human being with his own personality – i.e., not just like mine. You can’t help but sing the praises of someone with those characteristics!)
Anyway, others in the fam did make efforts to attend. And, I suppose, a 40% attendance is better than just me, for that matter. And the photos really did come out well (which is why I am sharing one of them)!
Perhaps I should take my little brother’s advice and just wait for my parents to plan a shoot next time. The "silver lining," I suppose, it that the whole family actually liked the picture and has put at least one in “his, or her, respective wallet,” lol. My dad also came to the studio in time to help select the photos, and my mom requested copies for both of her most-used purses. And it will be added to our walls! The contributions, or lack thereof, of any others “shall not be enumerated herein”:).
Relating this post to my blog theme, I’m thankful for God giving me such a great family. There’s a lot of love and forgiveness (As in, the forgiveness I have extended for such a transgression as missing a family photo). As James 1 says, every good and perfect gift comes from above. My fam is no exception!
Until the next opportunity, we will settle for this one...
Desert Song
I do intend to go back to reflecting on my read, but recently I’ve had a few other thoughts on my mind. One of them is about another worship tune called Desert Song. It has such rich meaning, but, like a lot of Contemporary worship songs, it can be hard to miss the meaning if you don’t listen closely. Desert Song has had more impact on me recently as I’ve contemplated the meaning more.
It’s about praising God in trials, “deserts.” It begins, “this is my prayer in the desert, when all that’s within me feels dry.” In the last few months, I've had a lot of discussion within The Body about some of the common trials we face. Unemployment; rejection from college or grad school; waiting to find a husband or wife; waiting to adopt children; having a physical disease; trying to lose weight; dealing with family issues; fights with friends – these are just a sampling of the many challenges that can cause our lives to feel like a vast, dry wasteland.
Yet none of the trials we face should cause us to lose confidence in God. The chorus of Desert Song reminds us: “All of my life, in every season, you are still God, I have a reason to sing; I have a reason to worship.” A verse of the song also says, “This is my prayer in the battle, when triumph is still on its way. I am conqueror and co-heir with Christ, so firm on His promise I’ll stand.”
Those words are so powerful! We often get depressed in trials because we forget who God is. When we recognize that He is still the Creator, still sovereign – and who we are in Him – it should cause us to exalt Him in all circumstances - and see ourselves lifted far beyond them.
Colossians 1: 15-17 (verse 17, which I often quote), says this about Jesus' dominion over all:
“ The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.”
Romans 8, which talks about us being co-heirs with Christ and is referenced in Desert Song, says that those who have accepted Him do not suffer in vain: 17 “Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”
And what is that ultimate glory that we’ll experience as heirs? 1 Corinthians 4: 17-18: “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” Ultimately, all suffering ends with an eternal place in Heaven.
On earth, we fight trials with God’s promises. Praising through challenges – rather than focusing on pain – is why some of us thrive in struggle, and others crumble.
In addition to the ultimate glory that we have in Christ, we can also be thankful for a God who still loves to deliver us from our trials here on earth. In Desert Song, God lifting us out of the storm by removing the trial is referred to as the harvest. Yet the song reminds us that the desert should positvely affect our harvest: “This is my prayer in the harvest, when favor and providence flow. I know I’m filled to be emptied again, the seed I’ve received I will sow.”
It’s very easy in trials for us to think that “If God just removes my struggle, then my life will be wonderful or complete." But we forget that Jesus promises that we’ll face trials throughout life. One part of John 16:33 says, “In this world you will have trouble.” (NIV) But Jesus doesn’t end there. In that verse, he adds, “but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” (KJV). We have to recognize that even if our suffering is removed, our lives will not be perfect. In fact, some other struggle will probably rise to take its place. Or sometimes, the "deliverance" is not in God removing the struggle, but giving us the Grace to accept it.
In spring or winter, desert or green pasture, we give God glory for who He is – recognizing that He knows best. Also, as He delivers us from our trials, we take His faithfulness to “the Bank” by using what He's taught us in that struggle to help us the next time we face another one. By praising we also grow in our faith and our witness to the world. Ultimately, our life as Christians is not just about ourselves, but also representing Him with boldness in our world. A trial is nothing more – nothing better – than a chance for God’s glory to be revealed publicly. That’s pretty awesome!
Here are the lyrics to desert song. Even if it may not be your style, you might also want to listen to it – there’s so much power in the words.
"DESERT SONG" LYRICS
Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides
Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames
Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow
It’s about praising God in trials, “deserts.” It begins, “this is my prayer in the desert, when all that’s within me feels dry.” In the last few months, I've had a lot of discussion within The Body about some of the common trials we face. Unemployment; rejection from college or grad school; waiting to find a husband or wife; waiting to adopt children; having a physical disease; trying to lose weight; dealing with family issues; fights with friends – these are just a sampling of the many challenges that can cause our lives to feel like a vast, dry wasteland.
Yet none of the trials we face should cause us to lose confidence in God. The chorus of Desert Song reminds us: “All of my life, in every season, you are still God, I have a reason to sing; I have a reason to worship.” A verse of the song also says, “This is my prayer in the battle, when triumph is still on its way. I am conqueror and co-heir with Christ, so firm on His promise I’ll stand.”
Those words are so powerful! We often get depressed in trials because we forget who God is. When we recognize that He is still the Creator, still sovereign – and who we are in Him – it should cause us to exalt Him in all circumstances - and see ourselves lifted far beyond them.
Colossians 1: 15-17 (verse 17, which I often quote), says this about Jesus' dominion over all:
“ The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.”
Romans 8, which talks about us being co-heirs with Christ and is referenced in Desert Song, says that those who have accepted Him do not suffer in vain: 17 “Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”
And what is that ultimate glory that we’ll experience as heirs? 1 Corinthians 4: 17-18: “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” Ultimately, all suffering ends with an eternal place in Heaven.
On earth, we fight trials with God’s promises. Praising through challenges – rather than focusing on pain – is why some of us thrive in struggle, and others crumble.
In addition to the ultimate glory that we have in Christ, we can also be thankful for a God who still loves to deliver us from our trials here on earth. In Desert Song, God lifting us out of the storm by removing the trial is referred to as the harvest. Yet the song reminds us that the desert should positvely affect our harvest: “This is my prayer in the harvest, when favor and providence flow. I know I’m filled to be emptied again, the seed I’ve received I will sow.”
It’s very easy in trials for us to think that “If God just removes my struggle, then my life will be wonderful or complete." But we forget that Jesus promises that we’ll face trials throughout life. One part of John 16:33 says, “In this world you will have trouble.” (NIV) But Jesus doesn’t end there. In that verse, he adds, “but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” (KJV). We have to recognize that even if our suffering is removed, our lives will not be perfect. In fact, some other struggle will probably rise to take its place. Or sometimes, the "deliverance" is not in God removing the struggle, but giving us the Grace to accept it.
In spring or winter, desert or green pasture, we give God glory for who He is – recognizing that He knows best. Also, as He delivers us from our trials, we take His faithfulness to “the Bank” by using what He's taught us in that struggle to help us the next time we face another one. By praising we also grow in our faith and our witness to the world. Ultimately, our life as Christians is not just about ourselves, but also representing Him with boldness in our world. A trial is nothing more – nothing better – than a chance for God’s glory to be revealed publicly. That’s pretty awesome!
Here are the lyrics to desert song. Even if it may not be your style, you might also want to listen to it – there’s so much power in the words.
"DESERT SONG" LYRICS
Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides
Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames
Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow
Monday, June 13, 2011
LOVELY
I love modern worship music, as I’ve shared before. Over the last few years, it’s really come to resonate with me. We have timeless worship songs in the form of traditional hymns and spirituals, which are wonderful ways to glorify God in song, but I love how contemporary worship is praising God in our own language. I appreciate how these artists translate Scripture into tunes that give God glory just the way we talk to Him today. It’s such a reminder that no era, no tradition, has a monopoly on methods of exalting the Creator with music. All nations, tribes and tongues can sing praises to the King of Kings in their own speak. And one day, believers from all over the world will be in heaven worshipping together as well. How awesome!
There’s one song in particular, Lovely, that I’ve been meditating on – in praise to God, and in thankfulness for the fact that He accepts worship from my heart in my own language. Lovely captures what I feel for God – He’s so amazing, I try to find the words to say about Him, but I can’t do Him justice with even my best ones. He’s just so…marvelous. Here are the lyrics to Lovely (and the music here).
I watch Your wonders fill the sky
Over the mountains reaching high
The same majesty floods my life
I stand in awe
Lovely, there is none more lovely
In all the universe, there is no one lovelier
Worthy, there is none more worthy
I try to find the words, there's so much more Your worthy of
Up on the cross with open arms
The love of God reaches far
The same majesty floods my heart
I stand in awe
As long as I live, I'll praise You
Name above all, be lifted high
All of my days, I worship You
I worship You
Lovely, You are lovely
There is no one, there is no one more worthy
You are worthy
I try to find the words, there is no one lovelier
There’s one song in particular, Lovely, that I’ve been meditating on – in praise to God, and in thankfulness for the fact that He accepts worship from my heart in my own language. Lovely captures what I feel for God – He’s so amazing, I try to find the words to say about Him, but I can’t do Him justice with even my best ones. He’s just so…marvelous. Here are the lyrics to Lovely (and the music here).
I watch Your wonders fill the sky
Over the mountains reaching high
The same majesty floods my life
I stand in awe
Lovely, there is none more lovely
In all the universe, there is no one lovelier
Worthy, there is none more worthy
I try to find the words, there's so much more Your worthy of
Up on the cross with open arms
The love of God reaches far
The same majesty floods my heart
I stand in awe
As long as I live, I'll praise You
Name above all, be lifted high
All of my days, I worship You
I worship You
Lovely, You are lovely
There is no one, there is no one more worthy
You are worthy
I try to find the words, there is no one lovelier
Lies, Sex, Texts and Tweets (Formerly Known as Sex, Lies & Videotape)
Jack Johnson. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Anthony Weiner. Although these are some of the latest politicians at the local, state and national levels whose dastardly deeds have seized news coverage, there will certainly be others. Listening to reports, I was reminded of a few of God’s principles about leaders and the need for us to guard our minds in a sex-saturated planet.
Leaders
Hearing about scandals involving politicians during the last few weeks, my first reaction, like many, was disgust. More stories about politicians doing stereotypically dishonest “politician” things such as taking kickbacks, sleeping with women not their wives – or cheating in some other way – and then trying to cover it up with lies before admitting to the truth, I thought. How many times do we have to keep hearing about scandals?
Yet as these thoughts came to mind, God also brought Romans 13 to me. Part of the oft-quoted passage on leaders, verses 1-2 & 6-7, reads,
“Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves….This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.”
The lesson I was reminded of from this passage is to generally respect leadership. Leaders, even the unjust and corrupt ones, have been established by God. While it’s not wrong for us to acknowledge their reprehensible behavior, or even to speak out against it, biblically there is still a level of deference that we are called to give all leaders. In several of the recent cases the politicians embroiled in scandal have been– or will be – stripped of their authority and suffer consequences for their actions – as we all do – and God has a hand in their removal as well. But often, we can get caught up in feeling disillusion and disrespect for politicians to the point that we do not hold our leaders with regard as we should. We end up denigrating them rather than showing them honor.
One way that we can show our leaders deference is to pray for them – all of them. As I expressed my disgust, God also brought feelings of empathy – or at least sympathy – for political leaders. Many are in high-powered positions that often expose them to heightened temptations. When they give in, they not only face personal cost – but also affect their constituents. If they can be distracted, the focus can be taken away from the jobs they were placed in office to do. Scripture is clear that those who know Christ and walk in His ways can resist any temptation– even the ones that come with political leadership. But not all leaders have Christ, and many who do choose not to walk in His ways. And even the ones who do follow Him still need encouragement and accountability to stay the course – as we all do. When we pray for our leaders, we ask God to give them wisdom in the positions He’s placed them, regardless of their spiritual conditions. The Romans 13 mandate is not just about the most upright, God-honoring leaders – but all leaders!
Further, prayer for our leaders should not take a partisan bend. As I thought about all of the temptations that leaders face, I thought specifically about our current president. I was reminded of the need to pray for him continually. I also thought of the fact that many Christians I know are happy to pray for him because they voted for him, but there are many other Christians who seem to be incapable of even saying a single positive thing about him. In that moment I didn't think to judge either camp, but was reminded that our Romans 13 calling should not be based on whether the president you voted for is in office. Whether it’s George W. Bush or President Obama – if our next president is a Republican or Democrat – the calling doesn’t change. Despite the fact that it’s in vogue to speak only ill about those whom we disagree with politically, followers of Christ must hold a higher, biblical standard.
Sexting, Etc…
The other side of my rumination on politics was the sex part. The recent indecent sexual acts spotlighted in the media reminded me of the need for Christians to take a stand against the things that God hates, but in love.
A segment on Good Morning America discussing Congressman Weiner’s actions was the latest public issue to get me thinking about standing for sexual integrity. A psychologist was surmising on the “psychological” problems Weiner may be facing that led him to sext and tweet lewd messages. Attempting to characterize his problem, she commented, to the effect of, “If Anthony Weiner had just been looking at porn and then using those images to enhance his monogamous relationship, it would have been okay. The problem is that these messages are out of the context of monogamy…” That wasn’t the first time I’d heard the idea that pornography is okay – even “beneficial” to a “monogamous” relationship – but I will not stop being disgusted by it.
After flipping the channel, I continued to think about the many ways – beyond politics, that God’s paradigm for sex and relationships is distorted in media. It’s hard to turn on the television today without seeing some dramatization, report or interview, like the Good Morning America one, that embodies a model of sex and relationships that clearly contradicts Scripture. We can expect that from our world, but, unfortunately, Christians have bought into it also. I think we’ve come to suffer from “Super Hero” syndrome – we think we can ingest literature, entertainment, conversation, etc. - that contradicts God’s design for sex and expect that it won’t affect our ability to think and live Christ-like –especially in how we approach sex and romantic relationships (i.e., that the only thing that can make us stumble is something like kryptonite). Yet there’s plenty of evidence that it does!
I believe one important way to ensure we are following God’s paradigm of sex rather than the world’s, in the context of the attention surrounding the recent scandal, is by watching the media we fill our minds with. Colossians 3:2 says that we should set our minds on things above. Romans 12:2 says that we avoid being conformed to the pattern of this world by renewing our minds. We renew them by filling them with, as the apostle Paul says in Philippians, excellent, praiseworthy things. While I’m a serious proponent of the belief that The Gospel demands that we be relevant – knowing the signs of the times and engaging our culture – including awareness of what’s in the news, holiness requires that we be set apart- particularly in how we view sex and relationships.
Recently, I’ve really been convicted to pay even closer attention to what I watch on television. With the many ways that our world is trying to normalize sex and relationship paradigms that distort God’s principles, I really believe it’s important for us to avoid adopting – or even condoning -- those same ideas, even subtlety. Often, when we don’t watch what we read or listen to, over time those negative ideas take root in our minds and result in us thinking and acting contrary to God’s commands, especially in the area of relationships. We start to look at issues not from Scripture, but based on what sounds okay to us. Even as we love and engage our world, as we’re called to do, we constantly have to renew our minds in the process.
Our world often tells us that because God is Love, He accepts everything we do, as long as we’re not lying, cheating, stealing or killing. But if we as humans, as simple as we are compared to the Creator – can have standards, the God of the Universe must have them, too! And He’s established the standard for sexual integrity all up and through His Word! Followers of Christ have to uphold it!
I’ve had to part ways with some shows - dramas in particular - on television that I found entertaining - and caught when I could - because of the poor paradigms of sex and relationships they presented. As I tuned into these shows periodically, I kept finding the storylines had become increasingly contradictory to the principles I’m trying to live by through Christ. God reminded me that I gain absolutely nothing from entertainment that rejects His ways – in fact, I lose! These days my TV amusement, aside from news, is pretty much the Food Network – but, borrowing from a popular 90s Christian campaign, and my parents, I’m happy I can say that it would be totally cool for Jesus to come sit on the couch and watch any of my favs with me (especially Diners, Drive Ins and Dives, lol)!
Doing the Word
God calls us to love people, but our first command is to love Him. As we show others God’s goodness, we also have to take a stand for His righteousness. We pray for our leaders, even when they don’t care for their behavior. We also share Christ with others, but guard our minds. That’s how we stay set apart in a world that keeps finding new methods to bring the scandal.
Leaders
Hearing about scandals involving politicians during the last few weeks, my first reaction, like many, was disgust. More stories about politicians doing stereotypically dishonest “politician” things such as taking kickbacks, sleeping with women not their wives – or cheating in some other way – and then trying to cover it up with lies before admitting to the truth, I thought. How many times do we have to keep hearing about scandals?
Yet as these thoughts came to mind, God also brought Romans 13 to me. Part of the oft-quoted passage on leaders, verses 1-2 & 6-7, reads,
“Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves….This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.”
The lesson I was reminded of from this passage is to generally respect leadership. Leaders, even the unjust and corrupt ones, have been established by God. While it’s not wrong for us to acknowledge their reprehensible behavior, or even to speak out against it, biblically there is still a level of deference that we are called to give all leaders. In several of the recent cases the politicians embroiled in scandal have been– or will be – stripped of their authority and suffer consequences for their actions – as we all do – and God has a hand in their removal as well. But often, we can get caught up in feeling disillusion and disrespect for politicians to the point that we do not hold our leaders with regard as we should. We end up denigrating them rather than showing them honor.
One way that we can show our leaders deference is to pray for them – all of them. As I expressed my disgust, God also brought feelings of empathy – or at least sympathy – for political leaders. Many are in high-powered positions that often expose them to heightened temptations. When they give in, they not only face personal cost – but also affect their constituents. If they can be distracted, the focus can be taken away from the jobs they were placed in office to do. Scripture is clear that those who know Christ and walk in His ways can resist any temptation– even the ones that come with political leadership. But not all leaders have Christ, and many who do choose not to walk in His ways. And even the ones who do follow Him still need encouragement and accountability to stay the course – as we all do. When we pray for our leaders, we ask God to give them wisdom in the positions He’s placed them, regardless of their spiritual conditions. The Romans 13 mandate is not just about the most upright, God-honoring leaders – but all leaders!
Further, prayer for our leaders should not take a partisan bend. As I thought about all of the temptations that leaders face, I thought specifically about our current president. I was reminded of the need to pray for him continually. I also thought of the fact that many Christians I know are happy to pray for him because they voted for him, but there are many other Christians who seem to be incapable of even saying a single positive thing about him. In that moment I didn't think to judge either camp, but was reminded that our Romans 13 calling should not be based on whether the president you voted for is in office. Whether it’s George W. Bush or President Obama – if our next president is a Republican or Democrat – the calling doesn’t change. Despite the fact that it’s in vogue to speak only ill about those whom we disagree with politically, followers of Christ must hold a higher, biblical standard.
Sexting, Etc…
The other side of my rumination on politics was the sex part. The recent indecent sexual acts spotlighted in the media reminded me of the need for Christians to take a stand against the things that God hates, but in love.
A segment on Good Morning America discussing Congressman Weiner’s actions was the latest public issue to get me thinking about standing for sexual integrity. A psychologist was surmising on the “psychological” problems Weiner may be facing that led him to sext and tweet lewd messages. Attempting to characterize his problem, she commented, to the effect of, “If Anthony Weiner had just been looking at porn and then using those images to enhance his monogamous relationship, it would have been okay. The problem is that these messages are out of the context of monogamy…” That wasn’t the first time I’d heard the idea that pornography is okay – even “beneficial” to a “monogamous” relationship – but I will not stop being disgusted by it.
After flipping the channel, I continued to think about the many ways – beyond politics, that God’s paradigm for sex and relationships is distorted in media. It’s hard to turn on the television today without seeing some dramatization, report or interview, like the Good Morning America one, that embodies a model of sex and relationships that clearly contradicts Scripture. We can expect that from our world, but, unfortunately, Christians have bought into it also. I think we’ve come to suffer from “Super Hero” syndrome – we think we can ingest literature, entertainment, conversation, etc. - that contradicts God’s design for sex and expect that it won’t affect our ability to think and live Christ-like –especially in how we approach sex and romantic relationships (i.e., that the only thing that can make us stumble is something like kryptonite). Yet there’s plenty of evidence that it does!
I believe one important way to ensure we are following God’s paradigm of sex rather than the world’s, in the context of the attention surrounding the recent scandal, is by watching the media we fill our minds with. Colossians 3:2 says that we should set our minds on things above. Romans 12:2 says that we avoid being conformed to the pattern of this world by renewing our minds. We renew them by filling them with, as the apostle Paul says in Philippians, excellent, praiseworthy things. While I’m a serious proponent of the belief that The Gospel demands that we be relevant – knowing the signs of the times and engaging our culture – including awareness of what’s in the news, holiness requires that we be set apart- particularly in how we view sex and relationships.
Recently, I’ve really been convicted to pay even closer attention to what I watch on television. With the many ways that our world is trying to normalize sex and relationship paradigms that distort God’s principles, I really believe it’s important for us to avoid adopting – or even condoning -- those same ideas, even subtlety. Often, when we don’t watch what we read or listen to, over time those negative ideas take root in our minds and result in us thinking and acting contrary to God’s commands, especially in the area of relationships. We start to look at issues not from Scripture, but based on what sounds okay to us. Even as we love and engage our world, as we’re called to do, we constantly have to renew our minds in the process.
Our world often tells us that because God is Love, He accepts everything we do, as long as we’re not lying, cheating, stealing or killing. But if we as humans, as simple as we are compared to the Creator – can have standards, the God of the Universe must have them, too! And He’s established the standard for sexual integrity all up and through His Word! Followers of Christ have to uphold it!
I’ve had to part ways with some shows - dramas in particular - on television that I found entertaining - and caught when I could - because of the poor paradigms of sex and relationships they presented. As I tuned into these shows periodically, I kept finding the storylines had become increasingly contradictory to the principles I’m trying to live by through Christ. God reminded me that I gain absolutely nothing from entertainment that rejects His ways – in fact, I lose! These days my TV amusement, aside from news, is pretty much the Food Network – but, borrowing from a popular 90s Christian campaign, and my parents, I’m happy I can say that it would be totally cool for Jesus to come sit on the couch and watch any of my favs with me (especially Diners, Drive Ins and Dives, lol)!
Doing the Word
God calls us to love people, but our first command is to love Him. As we show others God’s goodness, we also have to take a stand for His righteousness. We pray for our leaders, even when they don’t care for their behavior. We also share Christ with others, but guard our minds. That’s how we stay set apart in a world that keeps finding new methods to bring the scandal.
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