Christgiving

I’m stuck on Thanksgiving. It’s not that I’ve overlooked Christmas—I’m celebrating that, too. But we get so little time to really mull the significance of Thanksgiving. The end-of-November holiday is often seen as just an excuse to start preparing for the next, more favored one (Exhibit A: Black Friday). Yet from a Christian perspective, Thanksgiving and Christmas are quite intertwined. And my thoughts about what I’m thankful for also relate to The Joy of Christmas.

This year I’ve been most thankful for God giving me so many opportunities to know and serve Him better. It was only recently that I really noticed God’s blessings in those areas. I started the year with a list of desires I planned to pray for regularly. While I asked for God’s will to be done with each request, ultimately most were more physical than spiritual.

The story of my year has been how God has really satisfied my spiritual desires that I had been praying about in years past, overlooked or newly developed through time in His Word. As the year went on, I really noticed that some of the physical needs I had prayed most fervently for were requests I had not fully given Him. Those prayers were not being answered with a “yes,” but instead (for lack of a better description) a “no” or “wait.” But the spiritual desires have all been met with a resounding “YES”— and then some!

A big boon has been the chance to use so many of my passions in ministry. A few are representing purity in Christ; using my love of writing to help communicate messages in church; and preparing to work with teen girls. I’ve really felt that He’s brought those opportunities directly to me as a result of seeking Him!

Another blessing has been just a growing appetite for His Knowledge. I’ve spent far more meaningful time meditating on His Word through messages and other resources that speak directly to areas I have prayed to grow in—or just be encouraged. One example that stands out most was one day when I prayed, “Lord, I really want to listen to a great message series on purity.” At the time I really didn’t know why I was so set on finding one; it seemed I had no want of resources in that area. But that very same day I "discovered" a link to an amazing series that has really put my existing commitment to purity in a context that I had overlooked, but needed to understand. Seeking Him has really been this gift that keeps on giving; every answer to a spiritual request has left me so much more full than the physical ones!

The link between my desires and The Christmas Story was magnified earlier this week at a service I attended (which has another background story about God meeting a spiritual hunger!). One of the main points was that Christmas—and our walks with God as Christians—is not the story of us pursuing God, but God pursuing us. A desire to know Him better isn’t the result of our initiative or any good thing that we’ve done. It’s about The Lord of Glory, coming down as a baby to walk this sod--a common man--die for us, and then leave His Spirit to guide us. Beginning with the act of His birth, he turned our brand of righteousness—religious “goodwill,” on its head. He said we should seek our spiritual needs before our physical (and watch Him meet the physical). He said to be first, we have to be last. He said we should love even the people who hate us. He said that in order for us to experience true life, we have to deny ourselves everything this world has. But the beauty is, when we allow ourselves to be found by Him as He pursues us, we get so much more in return!

I am so thankful that following Christ is such a daily adventure—one that provides the abundant life Jesus spoke of in John 10:10. There is nothing more rewarding than following Jesus!

In 2 Corinthians 9:15 the Apostle Paul sums up the gift of grace in a way that wraps Thanksgiving up in Christmas. It merits a look in several versions:

“Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift.” (KJV)
“Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!” (NIV; NKJV; NASB)
“Thank God for this gift too wonderful for words!” (NLT)

“Lamb of God,” a song by Nicole C. Mullen, describes how we can give God thanks for His gift at Christmas (Here’s the full song ):

Oh Lamb of God, Oh Prince of Peace
What tribute shall I bring to worship Thee?
I have no gold to lay at your feet
So Lamb of God, I offer me.

Let’s worship The Christ who gave all for us-—at Thanksgiving, Christmas and always!

REAL MEN

When I think of topics to write on, “Authentic Manhood” ordinarily wouldn’t come to mind—quite obviously, because I’m not a man. And I don't consider myself an expert on men, either. However, in this case others’ thoughts are the inspiration for a discussion on what God has called men to be.

I think the Body of Christ – male and female – has a responsibility to encourage “authentic manhood” – having men seek Christ daily and lead by example. The series we’re doing at church, “Gender Crisis: Examining Biblical Manhood and Womanhood,” has been a reminder of how to spur men to godliness. The premise is that men are called to valor; women to virtue (but not that both sexes shouldn’t possess each trait in some form). We just wrapped up the portion on men, where we looked first at nine “vices” of men found in Genesis Chapters Three and Four. The next week we talked about the courage it takes for men to live out their callings in Christ— and how to do so (both can be listened to here, series "Gender Crisis").

DANIEL, DAVID AND JOSEPH

My recent experiences have prompted me to take a closer look at examples of godly men in the Bible. I listened to another sermon where it is mentioned there are two men in the Bible for which nothing bad is ever really said about in the text – Daniel and Joseph. David also was mentioned in the sermon as a man devoted to God for most of his life. I’ve always been a fan of David and have liked Joseph’s story, but I’ll confess I never explicitly labeled them as examples of godly men. But seeing them in this light actually is fascinating. I think they present some great profiles for identifying manhood God's way. Although their stories are likely familiar, to point out their godly traits I’ll revisit them (and perhaps from a new perspective).

COMMON THREADS

There are several godly traits the three men share. A few of them:

Favor and Leadership

A common theme is that each man had the favor of God and was set apart for a special, prominent purpose from youth.

Early on God called Joseph to leadership in a foreign land. In his family he was known as the favorite of his father Jacob and told his brothers and father of dreams indicating they would “bow down” to him (Gen. 37: 1-11), which eventually came true when the brothers went to Egypt to get food during famine many years later (Gen. 42: 1-11). Not long after Joseph relayed his dream, the already jealous brothers sold him into slavery, and he was taken to Egypt (Gen. 37: 12-28). However, once there God’s favor, which was evident to others around him, led him to be placed in high positions, first in charge of the estate of Potiphatr, one of the officials of the ruler, Pharaoh (Gen. 39:1-6). He later became second in command to Pharaoh himself after interpreting his dreams (Gen. 41:39-57). The Bible says Joseph started working for Pharaoh when he was only 30 (Gen. 41:46). It was Joseph's God-given leadership skills and revelation from God through dreams that led him to help Egypt, the region—and Israel—escape starvation during famine (Gen. 47: 13-25).

Likewise, as a young man Daniel was taken to Babylon as an exile from Jerusalem after Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, captured the city. He was one of the few men of Israeli royalty chosen on Nebuchadnezzar's orders to be trained for leadership in the Babylonian kingdom (Daniel 1: 1-3). He and others taken are described as intelligent: “showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king’s palace” (Daniel 1: 4, 7). During training he and his comrades, Haniniah (Shadrach); Mishael (Meschah) and Azariah (Abednego), excelled “in every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king questioned them...ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom” (Daniel 1:18-20). Additionally, like Joseph, the Bible also mentions God gave Daniel (separate from others) the ability to interpret dreams (Daniel 1:17) – a talent that was used by kings many times. Daniel also served several kings (or in several “administrations," if you will:)) (See Daniel Chapters 1; 5; 6:1-3; 6:28; 7; 8:27-9:1-2).

David also was chosen by God in youth to serve as King of Israel, set apart from seven older brothers who could have been chosen (I Samuel 16: 10-13). He was a shepherd boy when God told Samuel to anoint him the next king, and, for many years before becoming king, he served under King Saul – at times in danger of his life from Saul’s jealousy (I Samuel Chapters 19, 23, 26). Through the familiar story of David and Goliath, we see he had a faith in God from youth that allowed him to brave—and defeat—a long-feared enemy with only a sling and a stone (I Samuel 17). And, at a young age, he received a reputation as a valiant man – more valiant than then-ruler Saul (I Samuel 18). He ruled Israel for many years and had many victories as King (2 Samuel 8).

Holiness

Each of the men also walked closely with God (which had something to do with God’s favor on them!).

Joseph had a great faith in God, which was evident by the shining way he handled his “unfair” circumstances. First, he was sold into slavery in Egypt. Then, he was put in prison indefinitely for a crime he didn’t commit (he didn’t get no hearing or appeal!). But in each instance, the Bible says God was with him (Gen. 39: 1-6). It never talks about him throwing tantrums or saying “why me.” Instead, he carried himself well, with God’s favor, and was exalted, even in prison (Gen. 39: 20-23). And later in life, when he re-encountered the brothers who had sold him into slavery so many years earlier, he showed them genuine mercy and compassion—even through his hurt (Gen. 45).

David loved God with all his heart. So much that, as frequently referenced, he was “a man after God’s own heart” from youth—the reason God chose him to lead Israel (I Samuel 13:13-14; 1 Samuel 16:7; Acts 13: 22). People often focus on the story David and Bathsheba (wife of Uriah the Hittite) (2 Samuel 11-12), but there’s so much more to his life in the Bible! God says that incident was the only exception to a life devoted to Him. I Kings 15: 5 states, “For David had done what was right in the eyes of the Lord and had not failed to keep any of the Lord’s commands all the days of his life—except in the case of Uriah the Hittite.”

Daniel was a man who stood for righteousness – even when he was the only one. Upon beginning training in Babylon to serve King Nebuchadnezzar, Daniel had the opportunity to eat “the royal food and wine,” which included consuming meat considered unclean in Israel. The Bible says Daniel “resolved not to defile himself” with it (Daniel 1:8). Of the other young men brought from Israel, Daniel was only one of four who said no to the food on principle - not because he had to (Daniel 1: 6-17). Further, in Babylon Daniel lived in a nation where praying to God was at a time outlawed, yet he did it openly and incessantly. And his prayers were fierce (See Daniel 9, for example). His commitment to God led him to a lion’s den, but even then he knew God could deliver him from it— and did. In short, he had zeal for God his whole life!

Hotness

Another interesting tidbit about Daniel, David and Joseph is that, even in the Bible, where inner beauty is praised more often than outer, they are all described as good looking!

Joseph was called “well-built and handsome” (Gen. 39:6) (explains why Potiphar’s wife wanted some!)

The Bible says when David was called to leadership he was “ruddy, with a fine appearance and handsome features.” (1 Samuel 16: 12) (denotation of ruddy: “of or having a fresh, healthy red color, red; red or reddish” – aka a Shepherd Boy’s Tan:)!)

Daniel also was selected to serve in Babylon partly because he was a young man “without any physical defect, handsome” (Daniel 1:4). And after rejecting the “king’s meat” in favor of vegetables, the Bible says he and his three friends “looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food.” (Daniel 1: 15) (so they probably looked even better!)

DISTINGUISHING TRAITS (My Faves)

I love how each man’s holiness “profile,” while similar, was still different. Specific traits stood out to me for each – and a thought about the traits’ relevance to men today.

Joseph: Mr. Purity

I love Joseph’s choice to use self control to flee from sexual temptation. Potiphar’s wife came on to him—i.e., she explicitly said, “Come to bed with me!” (Gen. 39: 7). The Bible says Joseph had to resist the request many times: “And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her” (Gen. 39:10). When she cornered him one day, rather than stick around he fled the scene, not even taking time to grab his cloak (i.e., coat) (Gen. 39: 11-12).This is a man in a position of power, with an entire estate at his disposal—who said no to sex that he easily could have gotten. Joseph’s story also indicates that he didn’t avoid the sex only because it would have been with his boss’ wife, but also because such strength was part of his character. Also like Daniel, his integrity got him in trouble with "the law," but we know God also delivered him (Gen. 39: 13-23; Gen. 41).

I think this observation is relevant to men today, especially young men whom God has gifted and put in prominent positions in government, sports, entertainment and other areas. Their prominence can cause them to face added temptation, but this story is a reminder that they don’t have to give in – and should flee situations if they need to. Often in society we describe purity as a “woman’s” thing, but the Bible is clear it’s a man thing, too— no matter what position he’s placed in. I love it (and I am not beating a dead horse on this issue— it’s living and in need of more whipping:))!

David: Mr. Passionate

I love how David appears to have been a “manly” man (e.g., the sling fightin’ and war winnin’), but he still saved his greatest passion for God. I appreciate how he talked about God like a lover and praised Him no matter what he was facing in life— even the prospect of being murdered. Take the devotion to God he portrays in Psalm 63. Then there’s Psalm 42, among many other examples. David also would worship God in public, openly. In one example he was “leaping and dancing” – “with all his might” in thankfulness to God for his blessings (2 Samuel 6: 14, 16). And when his wife tried to call him out on it, asking how dare a “king” act that way in public, in front of “slave girls,” he replied, “…I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes.” ( see 2 Samuel 6: 12-23).

In a world concerned with male “image,” we discourage men from being raw about their feelings— and sometimes this turns them away from God. But the truth is no man can love a woman – or anyone else— the way he should without a love for God. Imagine how families would change if men had this same kind of passion for God – love of their families would flow so much more naturally. Let’s encourage open, “undignified” worship and love of God in men!

Daniel: Mr. Meticulous, Man of His Word

For Daniel, I’m most impressed with his excellence and reputation. Just a couple verses that stand out to me about him from Chapter 6 of his book, which precede the campaign to send him to the Lion’s Den:

3 Now Daniel so distinguished himself among the administrators and the satraps by his exceptional qualities that the king planned to set him over the whole kingdom. 4 At this, the administrators and the satraps tried to find grounds for charges against Daniel in his conduct of government affairs, but they were unable to do so. They could find no corruption in him, because he was trustworthy and neither corrupt nor negligent.

First, I love how he was noticed for his excellence – he was the best. But even more importantly, he could be trusted. That means he did what he promised and did the right thing, even when no one was looking (v. 4). He was so excellent and trustworthy that he, like Joseph, was singled out by negative people (aka “haters” ) who wanted to see him ruined. But, again, because of his righteousness God delivered him.

In our society we need to challenge men to be excellent, honest and keep their word – even when no one is looking. They may be subject to attack for their character, but when it’s anchored in Christ, in testing they’ll stand firm – and eventually be vindicated. God's servants have to be blameless!

D, D & J
Favor and leadership; holiness and hotness; personality— in short, these men were the total bundle!

MODERN MEN

So how does this translate into men and women encouraging authentic manhood today? Of course we should note the traits of godly men such as David, Daniel and Joseph. However, men today can only be those kinds of men if they have close communion with God. Each of those men in the Bible, while experiencing God’s favor, also experienced hardship, as we all do in life. But by walking with God daily, all of them withstood life’s challenges, accepting their calling as men. Men today have to do the same!

The reason we often do not believe men can rise above vices such as sexual temptation, untrustworthiness, anger or disrespect for women is because, male or female, we often have not experienced God’s life-changing power in our lives. We aren’t walking with God daily, so we don’t understand that God works on us over time, helping us overcome sins that we assumed were simply part of us. We don’t think that knowing Christ can really keep us, male or female, from succumbing to the societal pressures that come with our genders. But all Christians are called to holy living because of Christ – particularly men, who are called to lead by example. Holiness is supposed to be the rule among followers of Christ, not the exception. And if we seek Christ daily, it can be done!

These stories also highlight the fact that part of encouraging godly men is telling them to live out their individual callings. Although the three men described had similarities, they also had differences: in personality, passion and experiences. God’s plan for each man – and woman – is different. While it’s okay to have role models, we should encourage men to use what God has given them for a life of service and obedience. And He will take what they’ve got and use it extraordinarily –and different from the next guy.

It’s also important to note that each of these men sought God from youth. We need to encourage men to love and fear God while they’re still boys, so when the temptations hit as they become men, living for Christ will already be part of them! Let’s begin from day one – in the womb…no, at conception! Granted, raising kids to know Christ - or having godly parents - isn't a guarantee that the boys - or girls - will become godly adults. But teaching them commitment to God from infancy certainly increases the likelihood that they'll grow up to serve God. And even if they stray, God's word will be ingrained in them, and they'll return.

CHANGE (YES HE CAN)

I believe in revolution through Christ – a change in our world that comes when we are humble, repentant, and constantly seeking the face of God . I also believe that any man who chooses this way will be an amazing, shining example in a world of broken men. Let’s challenge men to live for Christ in every aspect of their lives – through their speech, attitudes and lifestyle. Our world can use a few more good, godly men – Real Men.

STOP AND LISTEN (Words, Part 3)

"19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." ~James 1: 19-20

I don’t usually start with a verse, but these sum up so well this entry on words—highlighting the need for us to measure our words—even when we get heated.

This passage is a challenge for me. Naturally, I ain’t slow to do hardly anything. Most things I want done now, a few things needed to be done yesterday. I’m also terrible at hiding my responses to things I dislike (and when I try to, I’m usually unsuccessful). Finally, I tend to be a stickler for accuracy. I can’t stand when people get the facts wrong or mischaracterize situations or intentions. I place a premium not so much on being right, but on being understood and treated fairly. When I perceive things are being handled wrong, I get on defense.

In the context of this passage, my “speedy” traits make me quick to speak (i.e., explain or clarify the situation) and quick to get heated (‘cause I can’t believe someone would say “x” cra-zy thing). I liken my anger “style” to a balloon—when it pops, it’s like, really sudden and loud, but if you blink—you might miss it. In other words, I’m a softie, but in the first couple minutes after you say something to make me mad—or right after I start talking about an incident that prompted anger— watch out.

Dealing with Anger

When I got in trouble for my anger growing up, often my dad would repeat some portion of James 1: 19-20 to me—and slowly. It went a little something like this:

“My girl, be sloooowwww to spea-k. Sloooowww to become an-gry.”

I used to get mad just off how slowly he said those words!

James 1: 19-20

But really pay attention to the passage—in fact, “take note” (v. 19). We are to be:

1. Quick to listen...(v.19)

The only time “hurriedness” is urged in the text is in being quiet—listening. A denotation of listen is “to give attention with the ear; attend closely for the purpose of hearing; give ear.” In other words, when we’re “listening” to someone, we have to become occupied with their words. That means we have to put aside other distractions—including our anger. And we are to do so speedily. Further, when we do listen to others’ perspectives we often find where our thoughts went wrong—and our wrong assumptions give way to right understanding. And even when we’re "right," the time taken to pause often makes us realize that the situation isn’t nearly as serious as we thought it in our anger!

2. Slow to speak and slow to become angry…(v.19)

While in order to listen we have to “dial in,” in our speech and anger we have to “tone down.” Again, turning to some definitions of slow:

moving or proceeding with little or less than usual speed or velocity

taking or requiring a comparatively long time for completion

requiring or taking a long time for growing, changing, or occurring; gradual

When we “take time” before speaking or becoming angry, we’re choosing to be deliberately more cautious—much less cautious than we should be in deciding to listen—and we’re giving ourselves “a long time” to gradually respond. The result should be that what we don’t end up saying that angry comment we may have wanted to initially, and that we have room to change our mind about being angry—or that we don’t get angry at all. That sounds like a good plan to me!

3. for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (v.20)

I think the rationale in verse 20 for being “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” is the best part of the passage. To live out the righteous life we’re called to, we have to be free from our brand of anger—which contradicts with God’s desire for us to live righteously. And what does this “righteousness” God wants look like? There are so many rich passages that detail it. Some of them:

That our attitudes be like His—selfless

That we love one another

That we walk in His light and have fellowship with each other

That we walk humbly, and closely, with Him

That we live holy, through Him

That our lives bring Him glory

Yes, the righteousness that He desires for us is so deep! And when we get angry, it causes us to miss the picture that is to be our singular, life goal as Christians. We can’t let anger fog up our vision!

Today

The last few years I’ve been learning to respond to situations that I perceive "unfair" a lot better. If I do get angry, those deep breaths are certainly helpful (two of them usually do the trick:)). But more importantly, the more I walk with God, the less I find myself responding that way (but of course it’s a process—ask me about my mixed response to a bizarre incident last Sunday). I think a way to measure our spiritual growth is not by how often we do the “good” things that are "naturally"-or have become-part of our character, but how much progress we make in exhibiting the "fruits” that are not.

Let’s not allow anger—or anything else—to keep us from the righteousness that God envisions for us—and that we should strive for as well. When we’re tempted to jump the gun on our speech in anger, instead we should be quick to stop...and listen.

Encouragement in Purity (Words, Interlude)

I was supposed to write about a totally different topic related to words that I’ve been thinking about most of the week, but God’s brought another one that I’ll share first.

As I’ve mentioned a few times, I’m involved in this ministry called Worth the Wait (WTW), which represents sexual purity through runway shows and talks at Christian gatherings across the country. Since it was started in 2006, there’s been a yearly model call through which people audition to represent WTW for one year on the runway and off it, with their lives.

Last week marked one year since I joined WTW, and Saturday it was time for another annual Model Call. I signed up to volunteer at the event. I was prepared just to serve, but I left being served.

Current WTW members showed up wearing our many different org t-shirts (plus bringing our own flair:)), ready to do personal interviews with the candidates. But it turned out that we ended up spending most of the time sharing with each other.

God really used those hours to encourage me through others’ words. We talked about our challenges and triumphs in purity. Some shared about how they’ve come to embrace—and enjoy—their singleness and the chance to be more dedicated to serving God. One girl shared about God’s faithfulness in her recent engagement. Hearing all of those stories reminded me of God’s amazing plans for me both now—and in the future.

Sometimes I forget how important encouragement from other followers of Christ can be. God’s wired me to have the resolve to do things without much motivation and to bounce back quickly if I’m ever down. I never really worry about myself being okay—I know God has me, and that’s usually enough. But that can also make me overlook the value of encouragement from others. I’m thankful that before too long God always reminds me how it’s still needed in my life—especially in the area of purity.

God’s also used this sermon series on purity from the pastor of a Long Beach, California, church called "Sex in the City of God"that I think may be the best I’ve ever heard on the topic. Two messages in the series, “When Do We Get to Kiss?” and “The Superiority of Singleness” have been the most memorable for me, which I’ve linked to (and, in case you’re curious, the church’s vision, values and beliefs). The pastor also hits dating, modesty and lust. I think more pastors should go “beyond sex” and into the message of purity with their Sunday-morning words to help the Body grasp what it really means to follow Christ in this area.

Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

I love those words. In the Body of Christ we have a responsibility to help motivate each other in righteousness. When we “meet together” in fellowship, we allow the opportunity to be blessed by others—and words are one important means of doing that. Also, as 1 Timothy 4:12 says, even as younger people we’re told to set an example for other believers by our speech and purity, among other ways. Let’s spur each other on to these callings!

YES or NO (Words, Part 2)

Second grade, second grade. That’s a year of my life I remember in spankings. When I got in trouble growing up it was generally for what I said—usually trying to explain myself when my parents thought I should have just been quiet.

That year I got really into the so-called “sassy” sayings of the early 90s. My favorite, which may ring a bell, was “well excuse me”— only it was said while twisting the neck, snapping the fingers and stretching out the “u” in “excuse”—i.e., “well excuuuuuuuuuse me!”

At the time it didn’t register the saying was meant to be rude. I just had a whole lot of fun contorting my neck, popping my fingers and uttering it. And I was really good at it. On the playground I would win contests for the longest “neck bend, snap and excuse” sequence. Thinking my “gift” some sort of badge, for a couple weeks I would say it after any and every thing; mundane comments such as “I’m going outside,” “It’s cold today” or “Nice shirt” were all cause for a rendition of “well excuuuuusse me.”

It wasn’t until I made a few of the other girls cry—and after I got slapped in the face for saying it to my mom at an inopportune time—that I finally realized the “gusto” with which I proclaimed those words was actually deemed rude and hurtful.

There’s only one other incident I got in trouble for that year that I remember more: the time I paid for saying some variation of “I swear.”

My mother really didn’t really like those words. She would always mention how the Bible said we shouldn’t say them and instead should “let our ‘yes be yes’ and our ‘no be no.’”

Although her words stuck with me it would be years before I actually remember reading the verses she was referring to. They are a reminder of how seriously we are called to take our word—what we promise to others.

"OATHS" IN THE BIBLE

The passage, Matthew 5:33-37, reads:

33 Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.' 34But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; 35or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37 Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

The same warning is repeated in James 5:12-

12Above all, my brothers, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No," no, or you will be condemned.

There’s a history of the significance of “oaths” in Bible times that I don’t know much about, but I have read some interesting tidbits on it. Generally, an oath was a kind of verbal “contract” binding people to their words—with serious consequences for breaking it. Oaths in Old Testament books such as Leviticus and Numbers were generally made to God along with offerings or sacrifices. Biblical references denouncing the practice, such as in Matthew and James, warn us about avoiding them in our everyday language.

"OATHS" TODAY

Saying “I swear to” whatever is something we hear a lot today. We say it to let someone else know we’re really serious about something, e.g., “I swear [to you] I’m not lying,” “I swear on my mother’s grave,” I swear to…other things. Not only does the Bible say we shouldn’t go there because we don’t have the power to ensure that our word is absolutely true (Matthew 5: 36), but also that our word of “yes” or “no” should be a good enough assurance that—as far as we can control, what we say is a reflection of what we’ll do.

I think we live in a world where word generally doesn’t matter much. We all do it at least sometimes: make commitments but excuse fulfilling them with an “I forgot about doing that,” “I just got busy,” or “I don’t remember saying that.” But if we really take our word as seriously as we’re called to as Christians, we would be a lot more sensitive to making promises—and keeping them.

Accomplishing Our Word

Psalm 15

This passage explains how what we say is an integral part of our character as Christians:

1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?
2 He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart
3 and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,
4 who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,
5 who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things
will never be shaken.

Righteous acts are of course an important part of character, but notice how words are intertwined with actions as a sign of holy living—it includes speaking the truth (v. 2) and avoiding slander or slurs (v.3). Verse four also mentions keeping an oath “even when it hurts.” Again, as verses such as Matthew 5:33-37 and James 5:12 indicate, oaths are not to be made today, but the verse still highlights the value of doing what we say even when it’s uncomfortable or inconvenient. Matthew Henry’s Complete Commentary (an oldie but goodie:)) on verse four does a better job of explaining how “keeping an oath” in this context is a sign of character:

“See how weak-sighted and short-sighted even wise and good men may be; they may swear to their own hurt, which they were not aware of when they took the oath. But see how strong the obligation of an oath is, that a man must rather suffer loss to himself and his family than wrong his neighbour by breaking his oath. An oath is a sacred thing, which we must not think to play fast and loose with.” (Commentary on Psalm 15: 4).

God's "Word"

Another reason keeping our word is supposed to be part of our character is that it is part of God’s. We can trust Him because He does exactly what He says. His word is always as good as done, and it’s the foundation of our faith.In fact, we can stand on the words—promises—of God before the actions accompanying them are accomplished. That’s another reason doing what we say is so important!

Word as Bond

I think our world would change if every follower of Christ made every effort to be true to their word—letting our “yes” mean “yes” and our “no” mean “no”. We would have good, trustworthy reputations that, in turn, honor God. But for that to happen, we have to be very conscious—and intentional—about doing what we say.

One way that we can live out our calling in words is to treat what we say like currency. I like the quote “word is bond.” A relevant definition of bond is “something that binds a person or persons to a certain circumstance or line of behavior.” If we consider that we’re “bound” by our words, we know that we forfeit them if we don’t deliver—in this context, we “default” in reputation and trustworthiness. If we really consider this cost, we should not say we’ll do something without really thinking about how we’re going to accomplish it. Often we break our promises not because we mean not to do something, but because we don’t mean to do something. Before we make a promise, no matter how small, we should ask: “how am I actually going to keep it?”—and have an answer to that question as we make that promise.

I also think seeing word as currency is important because it’s a way for us to take responsibility for our actions. While on the one hand we can make promises and not keep them, on the other we can be tempted to, in an effort not to break our word, make no promises at all—saying “maybe” to everything. There’s certainly a place not to be sure of something—but a maybe should become a “yes” or a ‘no” (notice the absence of “maybe” in Matthew 5: 37 and James 5:12).

If we can never promise anything, it can also make us to be untrustworthy because we’re not bound by anything—to ourselves or others. And if we’re not bound, we never have to take ownership for our actions. But if we allow our word to bind us, then we force ourselves to make a “yes” or “no” decision with real consequences—and act accordingly. We especially may be afraid to say “no” to something at the risk of offending others, but the truth is the greater harm to our testimony is saying neither. Living like word is currency forces us to make our words align with our actions.

Ultimately, if we’re really following what God’s word says about our word, it should hurt us not to keep it--no matter how small the "default." And we’ll keep it, even when it’s uncomfortable.

We don’t need to—and shouldn’t— swear we’ll do something, but we must do what we say. So let’s avoid maybes where we can, and let our yes’ be yes, and our “nos” be no.

VERBAL AROMA (Words, Introduction)

I’m going to talk about words for a while— like, a few entries. I’ll be addressing our calling as Christians to use them to benefit others and ourselves—for His glory.

It’s a topic God’s placed on my heart lately. It’s funny last entry I talked about how I’m not very affected by what people say. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t believe words are important. In fact, I find them vital to living our faith—and they’re supposed to set us apart.

I thought of doing this series after attending an event last week where I heard the most unpleasant words I had in a long time. Sure I’m used to someone cursing, gossiping or engaging in otherwise negative talk at some point during the day (and sometimes I’m to blame)—but the hour-and-a-half I spent at that event was an especially intense and uncomfortable experience.

In similar situations I would have made some effort to turn the conversation positive—or at least change the subject—but this time I was just so aware of my discomfort that I said nothing.

That day I missed a chance to speak light—and life—with my words. Particularly this year, as I’ve started working—and dealing with different people in a “team” setting, I’ve been reminded of Colossians 4:5-6, which addresses our constant calling as Christians to use words rightly:

“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

I plan to analyze these verses later in the series, so I won't say much about them. But notice the pleasant images some key words bring: "full of grace" and "seasoned with salt." Our words are supposed to create a kind of verbal "fragrance"--or "aroma"--from which goodness flows to all. That's my prayer for the words of these next few entries.

I’ll be hitting several topics: swearing; gossip; negative talk; apologizing; and maybe more. I'll also be sharing my words "testimony"--how God has--and will--develop me in this area. I've always had strong opinions—and being “strong” in something is, of course, an opportunity for God to humble us—Amen?

Most importantly, this series is meant to remind you—and me—that our words are the distinction between life and death. Considering we have new life because of words of promise that He fulfilled on the cross, we ought always to choose life with our words—which also are to be full of grace, seasoned with salt.

THE ART OF LOVE

Every once in a while I like to review a book I’ve been reading. This time I’m going to discuss not so much the content, but the concept, of a book that I’ve recently picked up off my shelf again on The Five Love Languages. I think they’re a good model for showing love not only in romantic relationships, but also to friends, family and others we meet, as Christ commands.

You’ve probably heard of The Five Love Languages, which is a concept from Dr. Gary Chapman, a relationship counselor and pastor, establishing that there are five primary “languages,” or methods, for expressing love to others. Chapman also says that everyone has one, or more, primary language that makes them feel most valued. The goal is for people to understand how to “speak” the language of their loved ones, understand how they personally accept love, and be able to receive—and speak—all the languages.

I already hear smirks or giggles from some who may think it’s a bunch of “psychobabble," but trust me, this is like, the best concept ever.

I’ve been enamored with The Love Languages for years. I first learned about them in a Bible Study in high school. The original book is about expressing the love languages in marriage, but the concept became so popular that books have been adapted for Singles, Teens, Kids and more. Plus, there are other “Fives” concepts (a Five Languages of Apology was released in the last couple years, which is almost as fabulous). In each book, the languages are the same but tailored to the audience. I purchased The Five Love Languages for Singles just last year, which talks about expressing love to everyone in your life. I hadn’t actually read much of it (but I’ve taken the quiz in the back like ten times), but I picked it up off my bookshelf a couple weeks ago and have been perusing sections of interest since; hence, this entry.

THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES

Anyway, to the meat: The Five Languages. In case you don’t already know them, they are Words of Affirmation; Gifts; Acts of Service; Quality Time and Physical Touch. At a basic level, the languages are self-explanatory, but I’ll also share a few not-so-evident details about them from the book:

Language #1: Words of Affirmation
The language of “Affirming” Words has many dialects (yes, I said dialects--and that is genius!). It is expressed by:

Words of Appreciation – expressing sincere gratitude for some act of service rendered

Words of Encouragement – “inspiring courage” in another through motivating or stimulating comments

Words of Praise – recognizing another’s accomplishments

Kind Words – choosing and expressing words in a heartwarming manner

(Five Love Language for Singles, by Gary Chapman, p. 51-54)

Language #2: Gifts: Showing love by offering thoughtful, heartfelt and tangible symbols of appreciation (No Dialects) ( p. 67)

Language #3: Acts of Service - Looking out for the needs and desires of others and offering assistance accordingly (No Dialects) (p. 80-81)

Language # 4: Quality Time - Taking a period to connect with another person. Like Words of Affirmation, it also has many dialects:

Quality Conversation – making someone feel valued through discussion. The subcategories are Quality Hearing, focusing on what the other person is saying (the opposite of Words of Affirmation) and Quality Talking, offering meaningful comments as a result of properly hearing

Quality Listening – being “sympathetic [in hearing] with a view to understanding the other person.” (p. 97)

Quality Activities – Engaging in meaningful outings or tasks with another

(p. 95 – 103)

Language #5: Physical Touch - affirming another through physical contact in a meaningful, appropriate and non-sexual manner (No Dialects) (p. 117-122)

MY LANGUAGES

I’m so fond of the languages because they’ve helped me understand the differences between how I give love and primarily receive it. It’s also helped me expand how I share love with others, as it’s meant to. Although I speak most of the love languages fluently, among them Words of Affirmation, the reality is Words of Affirmation is not even remotely my primary language. For example, I’m not much into receiving words of praise, i.e., compliments. In the past I couldn’t understand why comments such as “good job on that presentation” or “you look nice today” have so little effect on me—and at times I shrug them off. While I am learning to “receive” such compliments and they can be affirming at times, I’ve also realized that it’s just not what makes me feel the most valued.

My primary languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service, by a ridiculously wide margin.

For quality time, it’s not a “quantity” or “number of hours” thing, but what is done during that time—i.e., quality. It makes me feel valued when people take time out of their schedules, albeit a short period, to go somewhere meaningful—a place that is either important to them or me--and have good conversation there. I tend to enjoy smaller groups, or one-on-one time—because I feel like it’s such a great opportunity to connect. I also like it when I’m given—and give—undivided attention during that time, especially if it’s one-on-one; constantly checking out the new apps on the iPhone or responding to every buzz of the blackberry makes me feel insignificant, especially when I meet with someone for a short period. I also love building lasting memories with other people that are the result of quality time.

Acts of Service also are so important to me because I’m not very affected by what people say—good or bad, in my mind words are momentary—but I’m more affected by what people do. I treat words like actions, and don’t like when there’s a disconnect between what’s said and done. But the thought and effort that is often required to consider a need or desire and try to meet it with an “act” makes me so responsive to Acts of Service.

If there’s a language I’m lacking in fluency, it’s Physical Touch. I’ve always been critical of the cheap ways touch tends to be employed in our society, but the whole point of the language is not doing that. I’ve undervalued what a rub on the back or a kind hug can do to make another person feel special. I’m learning to speak this language, especially with people who hold it as their primary.

YOUR LANGUAGE(S)

I enjoy finding out others’ languages; in “quality activity” fashion, I’ve made many a friend take the quiz on a road trip. Most of the time there aren’t too many surprises in others’ scores—and we usually have some common language—hence our friendship, but every once in a while I discover there’s an additional language someone has that I’ve totally overlooked.

Also, while I can see the love languages are indeed useful for every relationship because the core "love" issues that bother us about friendships tend to be the same things that bother us about people in relationships—I can see how it’s especially useful for romantic relationships. As we often see and hear, men and women are fashioned very differently—particularly in communication. I think that, especially early on in a relationship, the love languages can help knit some of the divide that is present while initially getting to know someone romantically.

To find out your language, you can take a quiz. The online quiz is written for the marriage relationship, but the questions are the same even in the single context; the “you” in the questions would just be changed to something like “friend” or “coworker.” The maximum that you can score in any one area is 12 points. If you score the same for more than one language, you are “Bilingual.” Yes, The Love Languages have a language of interpretation “unto their own,” lol. Love it (the languages)!

WHY LANGUAGES?

I think learning to love others in many different ways is so important because of the treatment of love in God’s Word. Throughout the Bible, it is held as the highest calling. One of the great passages on love, I Corinthians 3:14-17, lists a number of virtues, but instructs us to, “above all, put on love,” because it “binds” all the other virtues in “perfect unity.”

We also cannot forget that The One who didn’t even spare His own Son did it for Love. And so I close with the ultimate command from Matthew 22: 34-40:

34Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" 37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'[a] 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'[b] 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

Solitude (Favorites, Part 3)

I’ve written about my favorite Psalms and Names for God. This time I’ll talk about one of the Spiritual Disciplines that I “favor” currently : solitude.

I don’t have a favorite discipline as such; solitude is just the one God is using most in my life right now.

Loosely, solitude is spending time alone—in a quiet place—with God. In an article on the topic Bible Teacher Charles Swindoll notes that Jesus got up early in the morning to practice it, as evidenced in Mark chapter one. Swindoll also observes that solitude “helps filter out the essentials and sift away the nonessentials.”

I haven't always practiced solitude. Generally, in personal time with God I've been partial to the disciplines of study and worship. But I’ve learned that going some place really quiet to meet with God alone helps me communicate with Him so much more freely and, at the same time, recognize His power.

As I’ve said before, that place for me is in nature. I usually sit on a bench in a wooded area that’s hidden from plain view. I like to go in the morning, when the only sounds I hear are birds chirping, leaves blowing in the wind and squirrels scurrying across tree limbs. And I’m reminded that the Lord God made them all.

I usually start by talking to God aloud, telling Him whatever comes to mind. Then I’ll read my Bible and a devotional, and sometimes I’ll listen to a song. But then I put everything away and just keep talking to Him, aloud, and intimately.

The most amazing thing solitude is doing for my relationship with God is causing me to crave being in His presence both to worship and learn to be more like Him. It really is the first time in a while that I’m spending so little time praying for physical needs. Instead I’m asking God for the peace to live without worrying; have more of His heart; serve Him better. I’ve been listening to this Hillsong worship song, “Hosanna,” that sums up my prayer right now.

A couple summers ago during a stressful time when I also was sorely lacking peace, God brought Psalm 91 to my attention, which I’ve been meditating on periodically since (and love hearing Nicole C. Mullen sing; Track 6: "Under the Shadow"). It talks about the benefits totally trusting in God—dwelling—brings. It begins: “He who dwells in the secret place will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” Verse 4 continues: He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." I love the peaceful images words such as “rest”; “refuge;” “feathers”; “wings" and “shield” bring to mind. Since that summer, I’ve prayed that I would gain constant peace from dwelling. Through solitude, I’m getting there.

Second Peter 1: 5-8, one of my favorite passages, speaks of how were are to be unyielding in pursuing spiritual growth: "5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Practicing the spiritual disciplines helps us develop the kind of drive that’s necessary for steady, abiding growth in Christ. Which ones is God using in your life? Favorites, Part Three.

Room for All

Today I had an embarrassing moment. It’s quite unusual for me to say that because I’ve been in enough rattling situations that I’ve become desensitized: I routinely miss written signs or posts, verbal or written hints (and sometimes plain questions or statements) and jokes. Plus I’ve tripped, dropped or spilled something at enough inopportune times that I can usually just shrug it off.

But back to today. The embarrassing moment—which also was private, thankfully— is mortifying enough that it won’t be stated online. But here I am more than happy to share about it in indescriptive terms--and a spiritual lesson from it.

The incident happened at work. I had an important event this afternoon that I had to leave at 11:00 am for, so to maximize my day I had arrived at the office just after 7. I expected a normal, productive morning. It started off that way, but just after an hour into it, a curveball was thrown when the unnamed incident occurred. Now I was unsure I would make it to my 11 am event—the one I couldn’t miss. In that moment, everything said my day could end up being a debacle that could only be solved with a pretty drastic solution that I just did not want to put anyone through—including myself.

If you knew the situation, you may wrinkle your nose a bit and say that perhaps it’s not as serious as I'm making it. Or you might agree. But whether big or small, in that moment I knew I had to ask God to get through it. Lord, I said, I do not know completely why I am in this situation, especially now, but please help me—save me from drama today!

Just in time—with 15 minutes to make it to my destination on time—God delivered me from it. And despite feeling a little drained throughout the day, the rest of it was peachy:).

I draw out my account of the incident because I think you can substitute any personal crisis for it—some problem, whether actually insignificant or not, that we wonder how we will get out of.

The next logical, expected spiritual parallel from this observation is that in those moments we always have the opportunity to call on the name of the Lord, but we don’t necessarily. While I think that is a noteworthy observation, my thoughts wander to a slightly different, but related one: we all have crises, but how we view any situation depends on what we believe. And what separates how we live is not so much what we feel in those moments–but what we do with our feelings.

I think as Christians we can be tempted to use crises as an excuse for spiritual stagnation. We think about how our situations are so much worse than those around us and are the reason we have not grown. We may say, If I were in his situation, my life would be so much easier, and I would have no trouble trusting God like he does. But because I’m dealing with this, I can’t be expected to give Him everything. He needs to give me a different life!

Granted, some people have rougher lives than others—but even then, the Word of God points out that there is nothing new under the sun —the crazy thing we think no one else experiences, there is someone on the globe with the same issue—but a different reaction.

I’m reminded of the story of Job. He was given everything—wealth; knowledge; a good reputation—much more. Satan told God he was sure that if Job was given trouble in life, he would turn away from God—even curse Him. But God had confidence that no matter what crisis was given Job, in the end Job would praise Him (Job 1: 6-12). And that is exactly what happened: God took everything from Job, and he still praised Him. At the end of the many crises (by any definition), he was given double the blessings he had before them (42:10, 12), and he died “old and full of his years” (42:17).

The truth is, we as humans cannot be a true judge of another’s heart. People can show us snippets of their hearts, but only God has the full picture. Some people who claim the name of God and are in wonderful situations really have hearts that do not honor Him—but there are others who would honor Him regardless of what would be thrown at them. But because we weren’t born with heart thermometers, we really don’t know! As a result, the time that is spent comparing our lives to others—and saying why me—is wasted, unproductive energy that blocks us from seeing God’s amazing plans for each of us.

No matter what our circumstance, as Christians, our aim should be to walk humbly and closely with our God. When we do, we allow Him to refine and fill us. And when we are living the full life that we were uniquely (and individually) created to live, we stop being concerned about how our lives compare to others, or how our crises “set us up” for spiritual failure. Instead, we live knowing that we can accomplish anything in Christ, if we lack something we can ask Him for it with a pure heart, and that no one can duplicate His plan for each of us. With Christ, as they say, the sky is the limit—for all of us!

Regardless of what crises we face in this life, big or small, we are all susceptible, for one reason or another, to the same emotions. Ultimately, as Christians our ability to grow spiritually isn't about what we experience, but what we let Him do with our experiences. And if we want to see big things happen in our lives—in and through Him—we have to look beyond our crises and into His incredibly long, outstretched arms that have enough room to love all of us into our unique, grand destinies.

Burnout

The title: it’s a topic I’ve wanted to discuss for a while—my own experience, and what God says about burnout.

I’m loosely defining burnout as feeling down or stressed about something to the point that it consumes you.

A couple months ago I felt burnout. At that point I had been going through the “Godmotions” of Bible study, fellowship, and prayer, but the rest of the day I was meditating on my worries--often subconsciously. I remember mentioning to some friends in a meeting around that time that I was missing the peace of God in my life. The difference was so clear.

At that point I knew I had to make some changes. I considered my distractions and eliminated them. I also gave my worries to God by confessing them and asking Him to retake control of them. Also, I’ve just been spending more personal time talking with Him and meditating on scripture in different forms—through verses; songs; messages and books. And I have felt the peace of God return in my life. The last few weeks have been noticeably different from the ones before—in a word, amazing!

As I've seen burnout in my own life, I've also observed it in others' as well. At times we just get down about things—maybe it’s worry; perhaps we’re just physically tired; our lives may not be what we want them to be; people close to us may have hurt us; we feel unappreciated or unloved.

In burnout we have a choice of what will “refuel” us: Christ, or something (or someone) else. What we allow to replenish us is such a critical decision, one that is often the difference between bad and good results later.

One passage God has used to show me this lesson is Galatians 6:7-10. I’ll split it into a few parts:

7Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

I love the theme of sowing. It really highlights the time it takes for us to see outcomes in life--positive or negative. You don't plant some tomato seeds and the next day, whoa, end up with plump, juicy tomatoes--they take time to grow--or not. And what we do in our sowing time determines what we'll produce.

Verses 7-8a are a warning: if we sow to the flesh, we reap destruction. That's why sometimes when we make wrong decisions—maybe in burnout— initially we don't see anything negative. Everything seems perfectly fine--sometimes great. But then when reaping time comes and we produce pain, it's not so fine. And sometimes we blame God for our troubles, but His word is clear: choosing a way apart Him does not provide a positive outcome.

On the other hand, when we choose to honor God it shows, as verse 8 also highlights--we reap life: “the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.”

And there's more, such wonderful words of encouragement and promise in verse 9 that can help us to choose Him in burnout:

9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

A harvest--powerful! I’ll highlight a few definitions of harvest:

As a Noun:

-The season when ripened crops are gathered
-A crop or yield of one growing season
-A supply of anything gathered at maturity and stored: a harvest of wheat
-The result or consequence of any act, process, or event: The journey yielded a harvest of wonderful memories.

As a Verb:

-To gain, win, acquire, or use (a prize, product, or result of any past act, process, plan, etc.).

Notice the positive connotations associated with "harvest," especially with the verb definition: i.e., “gain” or “win”. Also, a “yield” or “supply” signifies positive return. The passage only discusses harvest in the context of sowing to the spirit—not the flesh--sowing to the flesh does not produce harvest.

Further, elsewhere in scripture God is referred to as the "Lord of the harvest." According to the definition of harvest, that would make Him the Producer—the One who creates it. What better reason to trust Him as we sow!

Also note the “proper time” element. One reason it can be hard to keep doing good is that, well, sometimes we don’t see results for a long time. And in those moments we often choose to look around at other people who seem to be better off than us despite the fact that they appear not to have been sowing to righteousness for very long—or at all. Rather than compare and judge, we should remember that not every harvest is for the same crop. Some harvests take longer to reap; God may take us through a difficult time for years. But as the definitions note, a harvest is the culmination of a “growing” time that ends in “maturity”—after God has taught us something from which we blossom!

During sowing time is an opportunity to hold fast to His promises and choose life in all we do-because whatever the length of that season, for those who are faithful there is a good result: we will--not might—reap a harvest if (on the condition that) we do not give up.

In Galatians following the promise of harvest is a conclusion about how we should treat others:

10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

I love that direction, “especially the family of believers.” We're a body in Christ, and it's His job to vindicate us at the right time; our only responsibility is to do good. That means that we love others unconditionally—no matter how they treat us. That’s a challenge—but remember it comes with a promise!

Finally, the fact that God often gives us time to see results—good or bad—means that we have a chance to change course before reaping time. If we're sowing to unrighteousness and God gives us an opportunity to sow seeds of righteousness—we should take it. Jesus says that if we confess, He is faithful to forgive us of our sin , making us right with Him. Because of his death on the cross we are not his enemies if we accept Him--no matter what our guilt or others may say. Before reaping time, we can make a change that will produce a harvest later.

The key to avoiding burnout is choosing to sow seeds of righteousness daily, letting the Lord of the Harvest produce something wonderful out of them. There is no better ending to this entry than repeating the promise and conclusion from Galatians 9-10:

“9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”

Amen!

Closer to Thee

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about walking with God daily. I’ve been meditating on Psalm 119: 1-16, which lists the benefits of keeping God’s commands and explains how to keep them faithfully. The psalmist also provides a personal touch by sharing how he has sought God with all of his heart. It’s a passionate and personal account, one that should be both an encouragement and challenge for Christians to make pursing God daily our aim.

I won’t dissect the passage--I think reading the psalm is better than me explaining it:). But I will share some lessons from it.

First, it highlights the fact that really living for Christ every day is so contradictory to our world—and what we often say even as Christians. This passage says that if we walk with God daily—seek him with all of our hearts; meditate on His word; focus on Him and praise Him—we can live upright and avoid sin. We say we’re only human, it’s impossible to follow God’s ways completely and we should just go after whatever makes us happy at the moment rather than seek what He has for us.

But again, the psalmist sees true life in following God’s commands. He gets excited—“rejoices… delights” (v. 14; 16) in God’s model for righteousness. And he prays that as he seeks God with all of his heart, God keeps him from stumbling. He is relentless in his pursuit of life with God and trusts God to give him the strength to choose it consistently (v. 5-8). This passage is such an example for us!

Second, it makes me think about my walk. Recently I’ve been pondering my limits. There’s so much I want to accomplish—so many things I want to be to others and myself—but I fall short of those goals. I want to be totally loving and forgiving always—but I’m not always. I want to do my very best at work all the time, for His glory—but at times I don’t. I want to support like, all these causes—but I can’t do everything.

But the “I” is the problem. Living an upright life requires going to The Source daily. And it begins with deciding there is nothing greater in this life than what God has planned for me. Once I make that choice, I am able to live uprightly, correct myself when I stray (and stray less), focus less on my limits and see Him accomplish His plan in my life. That is one reason daily time in God’s Word, as the psalm also underscores, is so important: it gives us constant direction!

This month I’ve made a commitment to seek God daily in a particular quiet place—a special place in nature where I love talking to God. For some reason going there and sitting on a hand-crafted wood bench, listening to the birds chirp, crickets buzz and looking at the tall deciduous trees covering the sky above me—and the air around me—make me think of both the vastness of His splendor and the nearness of His presence. And when I feel that free, I talk to Him so openly, hear Him speak clearly and feel the peace only He can dole.

He's teaching me things. Right now it's how to surrender my desires completely to Him. Yeah, it’s one of those ongoing lessons:). He’s also showing me the beauty of His forgiveness—how it gives me the freedom to keep moving after I sin when I would have been inclined to shrink back in guilt. In a couple words, I’m growing!

Jesus said in John 10:10 that He came for us to have life--and have it “more abundantly,” or, “to the full.” That doesn’t just mean having eternal life by praying the “Sinner’s Prayer” for salvation, but also being full every day after that decision. And when we daily walk uprightly as the psalmist describes, we tap into that abundant life that He has for us. Yes, God isn’t here to meet our expectations, but when we seek Him, He can specialize in blowing our minds. That’s yet another reason to choose Him every day!

There’s an (old) hymn that comes to mind, “Just a Closer Walk with Thee.” I really like the chorus:

Just a closer walk with Thee,
Grant it, Jesus, is my plea,
Daily walking close to Thee,
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.

That’s basically the psalmist’s prayer in Psalm 119. And I pray it’s yours, too.

My Five Moments on Purity (A Mini Bio)

Okay, you know how I write both long and short (but mostly long) entries? I started writing this one giving my testimony on purity and could not stop. Think of it as an online opinion article (rather than a blog entry)…

It’s almost here: the Worth the Wait 2009 Runway Show! Amid practicing my walk and, admittedly, a few shopping trips to get hot gear to go with our “Worth the Wait” tees, I’ve been thinking about my own “purity” journey. Here, you’ll be taking it with me.

Prelude: This Purity “Thing”

Because there are so many misconceptions about purity, whenever I discuss it I define it. The purity I am talking about is a commitment not just to refrain from sex outside marriage, but also other physical contact that could lead judgment about another person to be clouded—and cause a loss of focus on Christ and obeying His commands. Further, seeing God’s best in relationships requires pursuing Him daily, in every other aspect of life.

Purity is not “patting myself on the back” for the physical things I have not done—or “beating myself up” about things I have done. God does not care about the “good” things we do on our own strength, but rather that we are seeking Him completely, with all our hearts. Also, because there is always forgiveness in Christ, decisions made in the past—or future—cannot keep us from purity if we confess and change.

MY STORY

It took many years for me to understand true purity—and I’m still learning nuggets about it. Growing up I was always told not to have sex, but I was never really given many details about purity. Nevertheless, what I did learn early is part of the process that has led me to the present. To date, five defining moments along the way come to mind…

Moment One: Signing the “True Love Waits” Pledge (’95, ’96)

In seventh or eighth grade I signed a purity pledge at church youth group. I remember God prodding me to do it that day. About that time, He placed a strong desire in me to pursue purity—even though I had no idea of the challenges ahead. But making the commitment by signing the pledge put my journey on wheels. I treasure Moment One.

Moment Two: The Encounter that Sparked The Vision (’00)

A commitment is usually not refined until it is tested, and I got my first real challenge to purity in college. Freshman year, first semester, I met this “really nice,” cute guy. A couple months after we started hanging out, I ended up alone in his dorm with the door closed, lights dim and mood-setting music (in my naiveté, I honestly believed he wanted help with an English paper). As he tried to let me know what he really wanted from me, I remember feeling a rush of emotion: fear, confusion, excitement…But it was very quick; in that moment, I also had to decide whether to stay. I am so thankful His Spirit pushed me to leave –and without incident.

That encounter made me realize that living out purity as an adult would require investing in the right kind of relationships. I knew I needed to have a vision, so I started making a list of what I wanted in a guy. I know a popular idea is to dispense with a list--e.g., “it’s unrealistic;” “there’s no such thing as a perfect guy;” “a list doesn’t allow you to be open to a good thing that might come your way.” But I believe a list is never the enemy; the only potential evil is what is on it. A list done right is a vision. We are called to have direction in everything we do—and we fail without it.

Because I gave my list to God, He showed me what I needed to change. I wrote what I wanted in every area: first spiritually, and then other aspects such as interpersonally, emotionally and physically. God informed me there were some things on the list that were inconsequential or arbitrary (e.g., height: I apparently felt I needed someone who was between 6’1 1/2 and 6’4. But all I really cared about was that the guy was at least a little taller than me. God pretty much said it was okay for me to go with “about 5’9 and above,” and, thankfully, I’ve never had to walk around with a 6-foot plus tape measure, lol). Needless to say, “really nice, cute guy” from Freshman Year didn’t meet the standard. But he was instrumental in helping me develop one, so I give him a nod in Moment Two on my purity journey.

Moment Three: The Talk with A Friend Who Said “I Do” (’01, ’02)

My purity path has not only been defined by my experiences, but also those of others. About the year I made the list—my sophomore one in college— I had a heart-to-heart with a friend from elementary school. She let me know she’d been seeing this guy, it was getting serious and they would probably be getting married in a couple years (after they finished college). But she said something else that took me aback: she wouldn’t be kissing him until they got engaged.

I was a little shocked to hear that. I had always felt that kisses should be more special than most people made them—and I hadn’t kissed anyone yet—but I still wanted to kiss the right guy in the right relationship. I asked her why she made that choice. She said because she didn’t want to end up in a situation where she couldn’t stop herself from going farther than she’d want—she also had committed to purity.

Her words struck me. I had kind of heard about the whole “no kissing thing” (there was this popular book “I Kiss Dating Goodbye” that had touched on it, although I never read it), but I didn’t know anyone who actually made the commitment. Also, I had never thought about the fact that hormones could kick in and cause me to lose control. I just sort of assumed that because I really wanted to pursue purity, and with all my heart, that would never happen.

That day I didn’t make a commitment not to kiss until I was engaged like my friend, who, in fact, got married two years after that. But our conversation has been cemented in my memory, and, in time, helped me realize that walking in purity in a relationship would require making defensive decisions that prevent the sticky situations before they happen. Mrs. M, you get Moment Three.

Moment Four: The Lesson from LSAT Class that Renewed The Vision (’04)

As I said in Moment Two, I believe there is nothing wrong—and everything right—with a list, as long as you let God refine it. After college, I needed to let God sharpen mine. During it many experiences I’d had with others and time with God had strengthened my commitment to purity. But after it, I was still single.

Shortly before graduation, God had amicably (but strongly) closed the door to a potential relationship; although the guy was a wonderful Man of God whom I found very attractive, God let both of us know that our purposes were at odds. I know I felt peaceful about the fact that God had given us both such a resounding “No”—I’ve never had to wonder about the outcome—but I was still a little disappointed.

Instead of mope, I got ready for the next chapter of my life: law school. I enrolled in an LSAT Prep class. Throughout it this guy kept trying to flirt with me. At first I ignored him, but by the end of the class we’d had a few cool conversations, so I thought he was alright. And I did have to admit he was good looking.

I don’t mind being his friend, I remember saying to myself. But I knew he was interested in more than friendship. I gave him my number and, sure enough, he called me after the exam.

It took one, hour-long conversation for me to "x" him out in the relationship context because spiritually, he did not meet the criteria. I knew what I wanted—and what God wanted for me: a man who had a “strong relationship with God,” as then stated on my list. This guy couldn’t say he was saved, and also freely referred to God as “The Big Man Upstairs” (I am not trying to denigrate him, but illustrate that I knew clearly he was not the kind of guy God desired for me). Needless to say, he wasn’t down with the whole purity thing, which I had discussed with him “just to be clear.”

I also told him we could not have a relationship. He said that was cool, but wanted to know if we could “just be friends.” If this had been a year earlier, I would have said “no;” I have enough friends. But, admittedly, at the time I was a little bored and feeling a little lonely, so I reasoned that it was alright for us to be merely friends (a “male companion,” as one of my friends generally liked to put such interaction). Plus, a part of me enjoyed the debates we had over almost anything (we agreed about very little—which should have been another “hint hint” to cut any guise of friendship).

But what God showed me after I had been hanging out with him on and off for few months was that the time we were spending was absolutely pointless—a detour. God reminded me that having vision, particularly in the context of purity, means avoiding company that is distraction. We may not have been dating per se, but spending time with him—especially alone—was opening the door for something to happen if I had a weak moment. And true vision does not lose focus no matter what the circumstance.

Also, like my “Moment Three” talk with my friend a few years earlier, I was reminded that a commitment to purity is not just about me, but also how I interact with others. I hadn’t tried to, but I realized that I had led the guy on. On one hand, I said we couldn’t have a relationship, but I knew he was interested despite the fact that he said he wasn’t. Granted, he could have stopped talking to me—but I am not responsible for his actions. I am responsible only for my own. And a woman who walks in purity has a singular focus—to please Christ. She gets her confidence from Him and His Word, and doesn’t need attention from any man, in whole or part. I am thankful I have not since been in that situation; if a guy does not fit the vision, it doesn’t matter what he says or does: I look the other way! And it is liberating...

So how did the experience refine my list specifically? It made me realize that as I focus more on my relationship with God, my desire to be with a true Man of God has deepened. Before, I was comfortable with listing spiritual attributes such as “a strong relationship with God” or “a heart for God.” Granted, I still want those things, but God showed me that I needed to be more specific both on the list and in my observation. Now I must have a man who will get “down, dirty and twisted up” for Christ (tacky, perhaps, but I love that description:))—and fit in my purpose. And as I pursue purity in my personal relationship with God, I have become more attuned to recognizing that kind of man. God, thank you for Moment Four!

Moment Five: The Ring to the Present (’07-Now)

The final defining “moment” (my definition of “moment” has expanded since the beginning) in my purity journey thus far is purchasing a purity ring in ’07, which you can read about here since I just wrote about it. I’ve had challenges over this period, too, but I have never felt more equipped to walk in purity than now. During these “post-ring” years is when God brought “Worth the Wait” to encourage me—and minister to others—on the quest. I’m pretty much still basking in Moment Five…

Postlude

Looking back on the last fourteen or so years since I took the purity pledge, I am so thankful for God’s past—and continued—grace along the way. I am floored by how much He has protected me from—and poured into me. I firmly believe that a willing heart—even a somewhat naïve one—is the “raw material” that God uses to give us the strength to make--and keep--bold commitments for Him. In pledging purity we must constantly put aside our own strength; our guilt about past decisions; our doubts—knowing that He will shape our futures and give us the desires of our heart if we only commit them to Him.

That’s my story—in five— so far.

WITH THIS RING

A couple years ago I blogged about how I was thinking of getting my first purity ring, and I did. But I had no idea that in the months—and years—after that God would challenge me to make a much bolder commitment to Him in the area than I had envisioned.

My commitment, as it stood when I purchased the ring in March 2007, was pretty much that I would continue not to have sex and, in a relationship, set “clear, serious” physical boundaries —and stick to them. I hadn’t made a complete list of all the “Don’ts,” but I still had a sense of what acts to avoid in order to stay focused on Christ and not have sex—or anything close to it.

I really thought my commitment was good enough—and that I didn’t have that much to learn about what purity meant. Don’t misunderstand me; I know that any choice to walk in it comes only by God’s grace and strength, and without Him I will fail. But that was it: I thought that as long as I sought Him in the commitment I had already made, I would be perfectly fine.

But then God really started to convict me about whether I was “holding out” on Him. I use “holding out” because it's also used as a defense for giving someone your body (e.g., don’t “hold out” on me). But if all of me belongs to Christ--including my body-- I can also "hold out" by not giving Him all of it.

What was I convicted about? Generally, it was committing not to do some of the physical things in a relationship that we tend to call casual or insignificant, such as a kiss. But I don’t think I need to share the complete list of areas God spoke to me about in order to illustrate my point. In fact, as I’ve said before, listing “don’ts” often detracts from what should be the real focus of a purity commitment: following His leading completely—whatever He asks. However, commitments we make to God (in any area) can end up, directly or indirectly, being more about how “good” we’re doing as compared to society rather than whether we’re truly doing all He’s told us to.

My Hope

I have a passion—a prayer—that more of my peers: young, single followers of Christ, will make so-called “radical, counter-cultural” purity commitments at His leading that go far beyond just “not having sex.” But first, we have to put aside all the doubts, fears and excuses. Just a few that are often given, and a verse to counter each:

1. “I don’t have that kind of willpower.”

No one does, and it’s not about us: 2 Peter 1: 3-4- “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” My strength will only take me so far; His never fails.

2. “Why would I even want to do that?”

Because God’s blessings are always infinitely greater than anything we can even dream of: 1 Corinthians 2: 9—“However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." However we choose to bless ourselves without Him may seem great, but the fact is, even our best self-made blessings cause us to miss out on so much. Of course, choosing purity shouldn’t be only about what we'll get from God, but His Word is clear that He wants to bless us—and is The Giver of All Good Things, so only with Him do we experience true blessing. And being totally committed to purity is one amazing way that leads to blessing.

3. “You don’t know what I’ve already done."

There is always forgiveness in Christ. There is no better example than the Apostle Paul, who had a “rocky past" —from a human perspective, much worse than most of ours. Yet he could confidently say, in Romans 8: 1-2 (and elsewhere in his letters): “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.” Paul is a shining example that it’s not about where you’ve been, but where you’re going.

Guilt over the past and comparing ourselves to others who have or haven’t had sex—and judging people either way— are just a couple weapons the enemy uses to keep us from moving forward in the area of purity. We may all have past instances of compromise, but in Christ, compromise never has to be the end of any of our stories. If Paul had dwelt on the past, he never would have been excellent for Christ.

Further, choosing purity isn’t just about sacrifice—it’s also about getting life-saving guidance. When we set clear boundaries, we have a roadmap—something to lead us in our goals. No one takes a class with no teacher, textbook or some other learning materials (or if we do, we get little or nothing out of it). Likewise, when we define what purity means, it’s much easier to live it! None of us is superhuman; it’s not like the only thing that can keep us from crossing lines we later regret is kryptonite. But when we choose to run from anything that even looks suspect (e.g., putting ourselves in situations where we’re tempted to go farther than we should), we can actually do what we say we believe. I know in this walk, I need all the help I can get!

I also know it’s easy to quote verses, but life can make it hard to apply them. For me, the greatest daily challenge to maintaining purity is my thoughts. Worry and fear cloud my mind when I get distracted.

But the answer to walking in purity still comes from those verses—written promises—that God has given us as we wait for His best in relationships. Whenever I meditate on them, I am reminded that trusting Him—which requires acting—is the most profitable thing I can do, because He has promised never to disappoint me. God’s promises are life. It also helps to have encouragement from others who are choosing purity, too (shout out to The Movement:))!

Scripture is clear that God wants our very best. 1 Corinthians 12: 31b, the last verse in the chapter and the one that sets up the next, famous one on “Love" (1 Corinthians 13), says: “And now I will show you the most excellent way.” Love is about excellence. And because waiting is about love, it’s about excellence, too.

YOUR LOVE IS ALIVE

I've been listening to this great Aiyesha Woods CD, "Love Like This.” It's about God's love. One song, " Alive," has made me reflect on how deep—and real—His love is.

It floors me. It's so steady, so consistent. I think of how many times I've disappointed Him. When I’ve forgotten that He has a heart, too. When He's told me to be still, and I haven't been. When I've made promises I haven't kept. When I've given Him anything less than my very best.

Yet He stays, holding His arms out to me--gently leading me back when I stray. He makes me feel forgiven when I feel condemned. He shows me the right way, but so lovingly. I can go to Him at any moment--He never changes, or gets sick of me.

He's showing me how to love. To be steady, forgiving and transparent--like He is. He's The Ultimate Companion; The Best Company. He teaches me what it means to be truly selfless.

I love 1 John 4:10—“This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”

Thank you, Lord, for pursuing me--to the point of death--even death on The Cross. Your name is Greater, Your Love is Higher.

What I render to you for all your benefits, as David said, must
cost me something.

To borrow from "Alive": "You are the giver of all that have/What can I give to You? / Please take my heart / I owe you my life / I offer it all to You / And every day I want the world to see / That your love is alive and well in me.“

Lord, each day, Take my breath away.

Yes, His Love is Alive!