The time: January 2011, last year.
The predicament: mixed emotions.
The reason: my upcoming 29th birthday in early February.
During the last few weeks of being 28, I started thinking about my 30th birthday. It wasn’t all good.
On one hand, I was excited. After all, I hadn’t started a new decade in almost 10 years. I thought about how glad I was that, at 30, I would no longer be lumped with the 20-somethings, especially those in their early 20s, whom I had referred to as “babies” since hitting age 25. I also felt excited that, contrary to my childhood perception, turning 30 in itself did not mean that my head was about to grow silver. Absent an unexpected occurrence, I could look forward to many more years on earth.
On the other hand, I still fought with my teenage perception of what I thought 30 would look like. For example, I remembered attending a Missions conference at 19 and hearing a woman tell her story of waiting until she was 29 to get married. I had remembered thinking, “29, that is so OLD!” And, almost a decade later at 28, with the purity ring on my finger signaling only that I was married to Jesus – a thought that usually engendered positive emotions, at that moment made me wish I had traded it for at least an engagement ring from a mortal man.
But whatever I was feeling, I did not allow myself to dwell on my thoughts. I was determined that I would let God be glorified in my 29th year, and that I would start my 30th decade being excited about what God would be doing in my life.
Several verses came to mind in my late-20s musings, among them part of Paul’s prayer to the Philippians in Chapter 1, verse 6: “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” I was reminded of God’s awesome plans for me, and the fact that no age will ever signify the end of His work in my life. And further, because I had heaven to look forward to, whatever I experienced on earth, the best would truly always be yet to come.
And so I went through 2011, enthused about what God was doing in me at 29, and what He would do at 30. I had a great year really diving into God’s Word in new ways and just giving Him more personal time, which I’ve shared about over the last year. Then, to start 2012, I set aside the first 21 days in a way I had never before – which I will share about at some point.
When my 30th birthday came, two weeks ago, almost to the day, I could truly be energized and celebratory over this new decade of my life. I am confident that God has great designs for me, and that Him accomplishing His purpose in my life is something to anticipate, always! God gave me the blessing of having it on a Saturday, and the chance to celebrate it on a sandy beach in Puerto Rico with great girlfriends!
But as much as I look forward to future, I also still look back on how my past is shaping my future, with so much gratefulness to God. I am so blessed to have accepted Jesus as Savior at about age four, through my parents' instruction (I don’t remember the exact moment, but I know it happened before I started kindergarten at age 5, about the time my family moved to Maryland from down South).
While I can’t recall the date, I do remember The Gospel changing my life at that moment. As a song by this awesome Christian rapper, LeCrae, goes, “The Gospel hit my heart, I guess that’s what they call a heart attack!” I remember knowing then that my life was going to be different because of Jesus. I’ve had the awesome joy of growing closer to Him every year since then.
I am so thankful to my parents for letting the truth of God’s Word be the loudest voice in my life throughout my childhood – and now. And because of what God’s done in my life, I have such a passion to see all the people of God experience the true transformation that comes only through Him at work in us.
I think it’s fitting for me to end this reflection with a chorus from a song I learned as a child that is still relevant at 30, and beyond:
He’s still working on me,
To make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars,
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be;
He’s still working on me.
