Stand for Love

“Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorched.” ~ Song of Songs 8:7

This beautiful verse from The Song sums up perfectly the power of love, as demonstrated in this book that is a recipe for godly romantic love. Chapters seven and eight, the last two, recapture the themes hit in earlier parts such as security; unconditional love, in spite of conflict; friendship in love; romance and godly sex (and also new material— for example, in Chapter 7 Beloved, the woman, initiating sex). I encourage you to explore them. Although I planned to here, I really felt God pulling me to use this last series entry to highlight the need for us to have a “Song of Songs” view of love no matter what our circumstance.

In our world it’s easy to view The Song as an unattainable, fairy tale romance. Although throughout the book conflict, doubt and fear in relationships are addressed (see Chapters 2, 3, 5-6 and 8), at the end of it all love rooted in God, strong and powerful, is The Protagonist that conquerors all (see 8:6, the verse right before the one quoted above –“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame”).

Yet such valiant love seems rare in our context. In our relationships we often see infidelity, abuse and divorce more than unconditional love that blossoms into lifelong marriage, as portrayed in The Song.

There also are those sobering statistics that add to the seeming unlikelihood of love in our age: the growing number of single adults, men and women; particularly professional women – and, more specifically, professional black women.

Or at times we may choose to forgo love God’s way for “practical” reasons: career; age; finances; geography.

Hope as the Mantra

No matter what our situation, if we are followers of Christ we are called to approach even romantic love in today’s world with hope – just as we are all other aspects of our faith. In Romans 5: 1-5 the Apostle Paul describes hope as an end goal of our growth as Christians. Verse 5 says, “And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” The hope we have in Christ is not about our present circumstance, but the confidence that we have to approach any situation in life with expectancy because we have the ultimate security: eternal life with Jesus.

While God calls some of us to a life of singleness for some period – or for life, He also calls many of us to marriage. But God’s way of fulfilling His purpose for each of us will not be accomplished based on where we personally think we should be given our circumstances. In following Him He won’t call us to singlehood simply because we might feel disillusioned about love, or think marriage is impractical for us. He also doesn’t decide marriage for us just because we we’re sick of being "alone," or we think it’s the “right time” for it. In His sovereignty, He has purposes far greater than anything we can see with human specs.

Whether or not God calls us to marriage, His special purpose for it on this earth still begs us to consider it with hope. He uses it in so many ways: to fulfill His promises to the devoted through generations; to raise leaders who are fearless for Him. He employs it to give us a picture of His sacrificial love for us—and to teach us how to adopt it . And it is a means of giving us support and companionship. As we see through Song of Songs, it is meant to be enduring, blissful and breathtaking. No matter how far our society strays from His ideal for it, God needs His people in it His way – for His ultimate glory.

I believe God is always calling us to counter our culture – especially in the area of love: in dating, waiting and marriage. And it starts with infusing hope into our very thinking. We must begin by trusting that if God calls us to marriage, He can work it out regardless of how it seems at present. This faith requires us to divorce ourselves from the dismal reality of love in our world. Hebrews 11: 1 defines faith as “being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

No matter what we may think, God is fully aware of our circumstances: our “biological clocks”; how much time we have on this earth; how many years our parents have to be grandparents; how demanding our occupations or graduate programs are; how much money we have in our bank accounts; the ratio of eligible men to women; how many people around us are in relationships or married. Yet somehow, we use those and other reasons to try to take love out of His hands.

God can do anything despite our unbelief, but the reality is that He not only calls us to belief, but He also rewards us for it. If we do not have faith that He can accomplish marriage, how will we have faith that He can sustain us in marriage, or even be entrusted with it for His glory?

At the same time, hoping in love ultimately is not about getting married – it is about being fully open to God’s purposes in our lives, single or married. Wherever we are at the moment, God has put us there to teach us something. And we are to be confident in that place and pursue the growth that He always calls His people to. I love how the apostle Paul says it in 1 Timothy 6: 6-7 – “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.” As an old poem says, only what is done for Christ, through Christ, will last. That is to be our ultimate pursuit - including in love.

A Process

We don’t get to a place of hope with contentment in the area of love overnight, nor do we stay there without constant effort. And God doesn’t expect us to start, and stay, there from day one. But we must be willing to take that journey. Too many of us are in a place of despondency, disillusionment or indifference to love. Yet Songs of Songs is clear: God delights in giving romantic love; it is a gift lovingly wrapped by Him.

Imagine how adopting a romantic love "revolution", beginning with our thinking-- would change our world –for generations to come! We would move from a love erosion to a reconstruction! It is possible through Christ – but whether it occurs, we are to do our part by pursuing His will and trusting that He will accomplish His purpose in our own lives, and througout the earth. And we must be reminded that as we pursue Him, He gives us the grace, courage and strength to walk in whatever He wills for love in our own lives: singleness, marriage - or some combination.

Epilogue: On The Song

I cherish the story of love that is Song of Songs. Exploring the book personally has added to my understanding of love, and pray that, if you dive into it, it will do the same for you. It has all the elements of a fairy tale romance – yet it’s rooted in reality, too. It is God’s vision for romantic love, imprinted in His Word, that He does accomplish. And the narrative is meant to encourage us. Romans 15:4 sums the hope that His Word is supposed to give us in our love journeys. It is so great I think it requires a look in several versions. Ponder each translation:

4 For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. (NKJV)

4For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. (NIV)

4For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. (NASB)

4 Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. And the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God’s promises to be fulfilled. (NLT)

Let’s champion romantic love God’s way – regardless of our circumstances. We are His ambassadors, in all of life, even love. And in our world He needs us hopeful, so let’s stand that way.

GLORIOUS SUFFERING

Easter’s here again. I’ve been trying to spend the last few days reflecting on what The Cross has meant most to me recently. What kept coming to mind is how God uses suffering to do wonderful, mighty things in the lives of His people as a result of Jesus’ agonizing death.

Suffering is one of those things that Christians tend not to attribute to God. Our response to questions such as “why do bad things happen to ‘good’ people,” or even “why does God allow suffering?” usually includes something about God giving us free will, which results in people—or beings, such as Satan—choosing evil, or that God allows suffering for some great purpose. But often we don’t say that God orchestrates the suffering – that seems contradictory to His nature.

God's Hand in Suffering

I was confronted with the idea of God affecting suffering most recently through small group, where we’re doing a Bible study called “Seeing and Savoring Jesus.” As it sounds, it’s about learning to, and enjoying, walking closely with Jesus, daily. One lesson, “Jesus Christ: Sovereign and Submissive,” discussed God having absolute authority over all things, including the so-called “good” and “bad” (for example, his dominion over “the gift of faith-Philippians 1:29; the persecution of Christians-Hebrews 12: 4-7; the growth of believers-Hebrews 6:3; and the sickness of children—2 Samuel 12:15” p. 81). The question was then posed what “theological problem” is created by the fact that God is in control of all, even suffering. The following was part of the answer, which in particular underscored that God has a hand in suffering, not merely that He allows it:

"How God governs all events in the universe without sinning, and without removing responsibility from man, with compassionate outcomes is mysterious indeed! But that is what the Bible teaches. God ‘works all things after the counsel of his will (Ephesians 1: 11)’…From the smallest things to the greatest thing, good and evil, happy and sad, pagan and Christian, pain and pleasure—God governs them all for his wise and just and good purposes (Isaiah 46:10). Lest we miss the point, the Bible speaks most clearly to this in the most painful situations. Amos [the prophet in the Bible] asks, in time of disaster, ‘If calamity occurs in a city has not the Lord done it? (Amos 3:6).’ After losing all ten of his children in the collapse of his son’s house, Job says, ‘The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21).’ After being covered with boils he says, ‘Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity? (Job 2:10)'" p. 80-81.

His Example

There is no greater exhibit of God orchestrating suffering for His purpose than The Cross. It was purposed suffering that even Jesus himself was conflicted about enduring. When he went to pray in the Garden of Gethsemane shortly before his death, the Bible tells us that Jesus said to his disciples, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me” (Matthew 26: 38). Then, in the following verse, “…he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (v. 39). He prayed similarly in verse 42. By asking that the “cup” be taken from Him, He likely was saying that if God’s plan of salvation could be accomplished without him having to endure death, God should provide that way.

But we know the story did not end with God removing Jesus from the pain of The Cross just because he felt overwhelmed. In the same breath as the plea in Matthew 26:39 for God to intervene, Jesus also asked that the Father’s will be done (v. 39, 42). As Philippians 2: 8 says, Jesus, the Lord of Glory, humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a Cross. He put aside His fears to choose His Father’s will. And because of the pain—the stripes—He suffered, we are healed, saved from the ultimate price of sin if we only believe on His name.

Looking at the death of Jesus should affect the way we view the suffering God purposes in our own lives. We can spend time debating to what degree God “allowed” or “caused” the pain we go through. But the better response is to use it as an opportunity to see God work in our lives and that of others.

God’s Work through Paul

A great example of how we are to respond to suffering as Christians, flowing from The Cross, is the Apostle Paul. As an early missionary bringing the gospel to the ends of the earth, he faced all kinds of persecution for claiming Christ (and presecution of that kind is still faced today!). The Bible also talks about him having some kind of unnamed “thorn in the flesh,” the nature of which scholars debate (some say it was a type of physical ailment, but that discussion is for another time). Whatever it was, Paul specifically says in 2 Corinthians 12: 7 that it was sent to him as a result of his ministry: “To keep me from being conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me.” He knew God had the power to remove the suffering and not only chose not to, but purposed it:

“8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Paul also wrote of God’s design for his suffering in 2 Timothy 2: 8 – 10:

"8Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel, 9for which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal. But God's word is not chained. 10Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory."

The Ultimate Response

Imagine if we approached hardships in life first learning from Jesus’ example: That we pray God’s will, no matter how we are feeling. What if we also learned from Paul who, through Christ, delighted in suffering for the opportunity to be stretched—and strengthened—by The Source. We would see that God’s glory can be revealed in it, just as it can in the “good” times we long for!

The Great High Priest

Knowing the agony that Christ went through before and during his death on The Cross also should give us special comfort that there is no suffering we experience that He cannot relate to, so we should give all hardships to Him, and rely on Him through them. I love the words of encouragement in Hebrews 4: 15-16:

"15 For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (NKJV).

What power – what comfort – we have because of Christ’s death! The most we can give Him in response is our lives—and in all circumstances: sickness and health; wealth and poverty; “good” and “bad.”

This Easter, let’s be reminded that His willingness to endure has given us the grace to embrace all of life’s events, knowing that He has overcome them all and is at work in and through them. That’s how we get the most out of our time on earth that is here today, gone tomorrow, and filled with trouble in between!

There’s a song I love that speaks to the splendor of His suffering, aptly called The Glory. I have no better description for Calvary than glorious!