REAL MEN

When I think of topics to write on, “Authentic Manhood” ordinarily wouldn’t come to mind—quite obviously, because I’m not a man. And I don't consider myself an expert on men, either. However, in this case others’ thoughts are the inspiration for a discussion on what God has called men to be.

I think the Body of Christ – male and female – has a responsibility to encourage “authentic manhood” – having men seek Christ daily and lead by example. The series we’re doing at church, “Gender Crisis: Examining Biblical Manhood and Womanhood,” has been a reminder of how to spur men to godliness. The premise is that men are called to valor; women to virtue (but not that both sexes shouldn’t possess each trait in some form). We just wrapped up the portion on men, where we looked first at nine “vices” of men found in Genesis Chapters Three and Four. The next week we talked about the courage it takes for men to live out their callings in Christ— and how to do so (both can be listened to here, series "Gender Crisis").

DANIEL, DAVID AND JOSEPH

My recent experiences have prompted me to take a closer look at examples of godly men in the Bible. I listened to another sermon where it is mentioned there are two men in the Bible for which nothing bad is ever really said about in the text – Daniel and Joseph. David also was mentioned in the sermon as a man devoted to God for most of his life. I’ve always been a fan of David and have liked Joseph’s story, but I’ll confess I never explicitly labeled them as examples of godly men. But seeing them in this light actually is fascinating. I think they present some great profiles for identifying manhood God's way. Although their stories are likely familiar, to point out their godly traits I’ll revisit them (and perhaps from a new perspective).

COMMON THREADS

There are several godly traits the three men share. A few of them:

Favor and Leadership

A common theme is that each man had the favor of God and was set apart for a special, prominent purpose from youth.

Early on God called Joseph to leadership in a foreign land. In his family he was known as the favorite of his father Jacob and told his brothers and father of dreams indicating they would “bow down” to him (Gen. 37: 1-11), which eventually came true when the brothers went to Egypt to get food during famine many years later (Gen. 42: 1-11). Not long after Joseph relayed his dream, the already jealous brothers sold him into slavery, and he was taken to Egypt (Gen. 37: 12-28). However, once there God’s favor, which was evident to others around him, led him to be placed in high positions, first in charge of the estate of Potiphatr, one of the officials of the ruler, Pharaoh (Gen. 39:1-6). He later became second in command to Pharaoh himself after interpreting his dreams (Gen. 41:39-57). The Bible says Joseph started working for Pharaoh when he was only 30 (Gen. 41:46). It was Joseph's God-given leadership skills and revelation from God through dreams that led him to help Egypt, the region—and Israel—escape starvation during famine (Gen. 47: 13-25).

Likewise, as a young man Daniel was taken to Babylon as an exile from Jerusalem after Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, captured the city. He was one of the few men of Israeli royalty chosen on Nebuchadnezzar's orders to be trained for leadership in the Babylonian kingdom (Daniel 1: 1-3). He and others taken are described as intelligent: “showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king’s palace” (Daniel 1: 4, 7). During training he and his comrades, Haniniah (Shadrach); Mishael (Meschah) and Azariah (Abednego), excelled “in every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king questioned them...ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom” (Daniel 1:18-20). Additionally, like Joseph, the Bible also mentions God gave Daniel (separate from others) the ability to interpret dreams (Daniel 1:17) – a talent that was used by kings many times. Daniel also served several kings (or in several “administrations," if you will:)) (See Daniel Chapters 1; 5; 6:1-3; 6:28; 7; 8:27-9:1-2).

David also was chosen by God in youth to serve as King of Israel, set apart from seven older brothers who could have been chosen (I Samuel 16: 10-13). He was a shepherd boy when God told Samuel to anoint him the next king, and, for many years before becoming king, he served under King Saul – at times in danger of his life from Saul’s jealousy (I Samuel Chapters 19, 23, 26). Through the familiar story of David and Goliath, we see he had a faith in God from youth that allowed him to brave—and defeat—a long-feared enemy with only a sling and a stone (I Samuel 17). And, at a young age, he received a reputation as a valiant man – more valiant than then-ruler Saul (I Samuel 18). He ruled Israel for many years and had many victories as King (2 Samuel 8).

Holiness

Each of the men also walked closely with God (which had something to do with God’s favor on them!).

Joseph had a great faith in God, which was evident by the shining way he handled his “unfair” circumstances. First, he was sold into slavery in Egypt. Then, he was put in prison indefinitely for a crime he didn’t commit (he didn’t get no hearing or appeal!). But in each instance, the Bible says God was with him (Gen. 39: 1-6). It never talks about him throwing tantrums or saying “why me.” Instead, he carried himself well, with God’s favor, and was exalted, even in prison (Gen. 39: 20-23). And later in life, when he re-encountered the brothers who had sold him into slavery so many years earlier, he showed them genuine mercy and compassion—even through his hurt (Gen. 45).

David loved God with all his heart. So much that, as frequently referenced, he was “a man after God’s own heart” from youth—the reason God chose him to lead Israel (I Samuel 13:13-14; 1 Samuel 16:7; Acts 13: 22). People often focus on the story David and Bathsheba (wife of Uriah the Hittite) (2 Samuel 11-12), but there’s so much more to his life in the Bible! God says that incident was the only exception to a life devoted to Him. I Kings 15: 5 states, “For David had done what was right in the eyes of the Lord and had not failed to keep any of the Lord’s commands all the days of his life—except in the case of Uriah the Hittite.”

Daniel was a man who stood for righteousness – even when he was the only one. Upon beginning training in Babylon to serve King Nebuchadnezzar, Daniel had the opportunity to eat “the royal food and wine,” which included consuming meat considered unclean in Israel. The Bible says Daniel “resolved not to defile himself” with it (Daniel 1:8). Of the other young men brought from Israel, Daniel was only one of four who said no to the food on principle - not because he had to (Daniel 1: 6-17). Further, in Babylon Daniel lived in a nation where praying to God was at a time outlawed, yet he did it openly and incessantly. And his prayers were fierce (See Daniel 9, for example). His commitment to God led him to a lion’s den, but even then he knew God could deliver him from it— and did. In short, he had zeal for God his whole life!

Hotness

Another interesting tidbit about Daniel, David and Joseph is that, even in the Bible, where inner beauty is praised more often than outer, they are all described as good looking!

Joseph was called “well-built and handsome” (Gen. 39:6) (explains why Potiphar’s wife wanted some!)

The Bible says when David was called to leadership he was “ruddy, with a fine appearance and handsome features.” (1 Samuel 16: 12) (denotation of ruddy: “of or having a fresh, healthy red color, red; red or reddish” – aka a Shepherd Boy’s Tan:)!)

Daniel also was selected to serve in Babylon partly because he was a young man “without any physical defect, handsome” (Daniel 1:4). And after rejecting the “king’s meat” in favor of vegetables, the Bible says he and his three friends “looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food.” (Daniel 1: 15) (so they probably looked even better!)

DISTINGUISHING TRAITS (My Faves)

I love how each man’s holiness “profile,” while similar, was still different. Specific traits stood out to me for each – and a thought about the traits’ relevance to men today.

Joseph: Mr. Purity

I love Joseph’s choice to use self control to flee from sexual temptation. Potiphar’s wife came on to him—i.e., she explicitly said, “Come to bed with me!” (Gen. 39: 7). The Bible says Joseph had to resist the request many times: “And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her” (Gen. 39:10). When she cornered him one day, rather than stick around he fled the scene, not even taking time to grab his cloak (i.e., coat) (Gen. 39: 11-12).This is a man in a position of power, with an entire estate at his disposal—who said no to sex that he easily could have gotten. Joseph’s story also indicates that he didn’t avoid the sex only because it would have been with his boss’ wife, but also because such strength was part of his character. Also like Daniel, his integrity got him in trouble with "the law," but we know God also delivered him (Gen. 39: 13-23; Gen. 41).

I think this observation is relevant to men today, especially young men whom God has gifted and put in prominent positions in government, sports, entertainment and other areas. Their prominence can cause them to face added temptation, but this story is a reminder that they don’t have to give in – and should flee situations if they need to. Often in society we describe purity as a “woman’s” thing, but the Bible is clear it’s a man thing, too— no matter what position he’s placed in. I love it (and I am not beating a dead horse on this issue— it’s living and in need of more whipping:))!

David: Mr. Passionate

I love how David appears to have been a “manly” man (e.g., the sling fightin’ and war winnin’), but he still saved his greatest passion for God. I appreciate how he talked about God like a lover and praised Him no matter what he was facing in life— even the prospect of being murdered. Take the devotion to God he portrays in Psalm 63. Then there’s Psalm 42, among many other examples. David also would worship God in public, openly. In one example he was “leaping and dancing” – “with all his might” in thankfulness to God for his blessings (2 Samuel 6: 14, 16). And when his wife tried to call him out on it, asking how dare a “king” act that way in public, in front of “slave girls,” he replied, “…I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes.” ( see 2 Samuel 6: 12-23).

In a world concerned with male “image,” we discourage men from being raw about their feelings— and sometimes this turns them away from God. But the truth is no man can love a woman – or anyone else— the way he should without a love for God. Imagine how families would change if men had this same kind of passion for God – love of their families would flow so much more naturally. Let’s encourage open, “undignified” worship and love of God in men!

Daniel: Mr. Meticulous, Man of His Word

For Daniel, I’m most impressed with his excellence and reputation. Just a couple verses that stand out to me about him from Chapter 6 of his book, which precede the campaign to send him to the Lion’s Den:

3 Now Daniel so distinguished himself among the administrators and the satraps by his exceptional qualities that the king planned to set him over the whole kingdom. 4 At this, the administrators and the satraps tried to find grounds for charges against Daniel in his conduct of government affairs, but they were unable to do so. They could find no corruption in him, because he was trustworthy and neither corrupt nor negligent.

First, I love how he was noticed for his excellence – he was the best. But even more importantly, he could be trusted. That means he did what he promised and did the right thing, even when no one was looking (v. 4). He was so excellent and trustworthy that he, like Joseph, was singled out by negative people (aka “haters” ) who wanted to see him ruined. But, again, because of his righteousness God delivered him.

In our society we need to challenge men to be excellent, honest and keep their word – even when no one is looking. They may be subject to attack for their character, but when it’s anchored in Christ, in testing they’ll stand firm – and eventually be vindicated. God's servants have to be blameless!

D, D & J
Favor and leadership; holiness and hotness; personality— in short, these men were the total bundle!

MODERN MEN

So how does this translate into men and women encouraging authentic manhood today? Of course we should note the traits of godly men such as David, Daniel and Joseph. However, men today can only be those kinds of men if they have close communion with God. Each of those men in the Bible, while experiencing God’s favor, also experienced hardship, as we all do in life. But by walking with God daily, all of them withstood life’s challenges, accepting their calling as men. Men today have to do the same!

The reason we often do not believe men can rise above vices such as sexual temptation, untrustworthiness, anger or disrespect for women is because, male or female, we often have not experienced God’s life-changing power in our lives. We aren’t walking with God daily, so we don’t understand that God works on us over time, helping us overcome sins that we assumed were simply part of us. We don’t think that knowing Christ can really keep us, male or female, from succumbing to the societal pressures that come with our genders. But all Christians are called to holy living because of Christ – particularly men, who are called to lead by example. Holiness is supposed to be the rule among followers of Christ, not the exception. And if we seek Christ daily, it can be done!

These stories also highlight the fact that part of encouraging godly men is telling them to live out their individual callings. Although the three men described had similarities, they also had differences: in personality, passion and experiences. God’s plan for each man – and woman – is different. While it’s okay to have role models, we should encourage men to use what God has given them for a life of service and obedience. And He will take what they’ve got and use it extraordinarily –and different from the next guy.

It’s also important to note that each of these men sought God from youth. We need to encourage men to love and fear God while they’re still boys, so when the temptations hit as they become men, living for Christ will already be part of them! Let’s begin from day one – in the womb…no, at conception! Granted, raising kids to know Christ - or having godly parents - isn't a guarantee that the boys - or girls - will become godly adults. But teaching them commitment to God from infancy certainly increases the likelihood that they'll grow up to serve God. And even if they stray, God's word will be ingrained in them, and they'll return.

CHANGE (YES HE CAN)

I believe in revolution through Christ – a change in our world that comes when we are humble, repentant, and constantly seeking the face of God . I also believe that any man who chooses this way will be an amazing, shining example in a world of broken men. Let’s challenge men to live for Christ in every aspect of their lives – through their speech, attitudes and lifestyle. Our world can use a few more good, godly men – Real Men.

STOP AND LISTEN (Words, Part 3)

"19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." ~James 1: 19-20

I don’t usually start with a verse, but these sum up so well this entry on words—highlighting the need for us to measure our words—even when we get heated.

This passage is a challenge for me. Naturally, I ain’t slow to do hardly anything. Most things I want done now, a few things needed to be done yesterday. I’m also terrible at hiding my responses to things I dislike (and when I try to, I’m usually unsuccessful). Finally, I tend to be a stickler for accuracy. I can’t stand when people get the facts wrong or mischaracterize situations or intentions. I place a premium not so much on being right, but on being understood and treated fairly. When I perceive things are being handled wrong, I get on defense.

In the context of this passage, my “speedy” traits make me quick to speak (i.e., explain or clarify the situation) and quick to get heated (‘cause I can’t believe someone would say “x” cra-zy thing). I liken my anger “style” to a balloon—when it pops, it’s like, really sudden and loud, but if you blink—you might miss it. In other words, I’m a softie, but in the first couple minutes after you say something to make me mad—or right after I start talking about an incident that prompted anger— watch out.

Dealing with Anger

When I got in trouble for my anger growing up, often my dad would repeat some portion of James 1: 19-20 to me—and slowly. It went a little something like this:

“My girl, be sloooowwww to spea-k. Sloooowww to become an-gry.”

I used to get mad just off how slowly he said those words!

James 1: 19-20

But really pay attention to the passage—in fact, “take note” (v. 19). We are to be:

1. Quick to listen...(v.19)

The only time “hurriedness” is urged in the text is in being quiet—listening. A denotation of listen is “to give attention with the ear; attend closely for the purpose of hearing; give ear.” In other words, when we’re “listening” to someone, we have to become occupied with their words. That means we have to put aside other distractions—including our anger. And we are to do so speedily. Further, when we do listen to others’ perspectives we often find where our thoughts went wrong—and our wrong assumptions give way to right understanding. And even when we’re "right," the time taken to pause often makes us realize that the situation isn’t nearly as serious as we thought it in our anger!

2. Slow to speak and slow to become angry…(v.19)

While in order to listen we have to “dial in,” in our speech and anger we have to “tone down.” Again, turning to some definitions of slow:

moving or proceeding with little or less than usual speed or velocity

taking or requiring a comparatively long time for completion

requiring or taking a long time for growing, changing, or occurring; gradual

When we “take time” before speaking or becoming angry, we’re choosing to be deliberately more cautious—much less cautious than we should be in deciding to listen—and we’re giving ourselves “a long time” to gradually respond. The result should be that what we don’t end up saying that angry comment we may have wanted to initially, and that we have room to change our mind about being angry—or that we don’t get angry at all. That sounds like a good plan to me!

3. for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (v.20)

I think the rationale in verse 20 for being “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” is the best part of the passage. To live out the righteous life we’re called to, we have to be free from our brand of anger—which contradicts with God’s desire for us to live righteously. And what does this “righteousness” God wants look like? There are so many rich passages that detail it. Some of them:

That our attitudes be like His—selfless

That we love one another

That we walk in His light and have fellowship with each other

That we walk humbly, and closely, with Him

That we live holy, through Him

That our lives bring Him glory

Yes, the righteousness that He desires for us is so deep! And when we get angry, it causes us to miss the picture that is to be our singular, life goal as Christians. We can’t let anger fog up our vision!

Today

The last few years I’ve been learning to respond to situations that I perceive "unfair" a lot better. If I do get angry, those deep breaths are certainly helpful (two of them usually do the trick:)). But more importantly, the more I walk with God, the less I find myself responding that way (but of course it’s a process—ask me about my mixed response to a bizarre incident last Sunday). I think a way to measure our spiritual growth is not by how often we do the “good” things that are "naturally"-or have become-part of our character, but how much progress we make in exhibiting the "fruits” that are not.

Let’s not allow anger—or anything else—to keep us from the righteousness that God envisions for us—and that we should strive for as well. When we’re tempted to jump the gun on our speech in anger, instead we should be quick to stop...and listen.

Encouragement in Purity (Words, Interlude)

I was supposed to write about a totally different topic related to words that I’ve been thinking about most of the week, but God’s brought another one that I’ll share first.

As I’ve mentioned a few times, I’m involved in this ministry called Worth the Wait (WTW), which represents sexual purity through runway shows and talks at Christian gatherings across the country. Since it was started in 2006, there’s been a yearly model call through which people audition to represent WTW for one year on the runway and off it, with their lives.

Last week marked one year since I joined WTW, and Saturday it was time for another annual Model Call. I signed up to volunteer at the event. I was prepared just to serve, but I left being served.

Current WTW members showed up wearing our many different org t-shirts (plus bringing our own flair:)), ready to do personal interviews with the candidates. But it turned out that we ended up spending most of the time sharing with each other.

God really used those hours to encourage me through others’ words. We talked about our challenges and triumphs in purity. Some shared about how they’ve come to embrace—and enjoy—their singleness and the chance to be more dedicated to serving God. One girl shared about God’s faithfulness in her recent engagement. Hearing all of those stories reminded me of God’s amazing plans for me both now—and in the future.

Sometimes I forget how important encouragement from other followers of Christ can be. God’s wired me to have the resolve to do things without much motivation and to bounce back quickly if I’m ever down. I never really worry about myself being okay—I know God has me, and that’s usually enough. But that can also make me overlook the value of encouragement from others. I’m thankful that before too long God always reminds me how it’s still needed in my life—especially in the area of purity.

God’s also used this sermon series on purity from the pastor of a Long Beach, California, church called "Sex in the City of God"that I think may be the best I’ve ever heard on the topic. Two messages in the series, “When Do We Get to Kiss?” and “The Superiority of Singleness” have been the most memorable for me, which I’ve linked to (and, in case you’re curious, the church’s vision, values and beliefs). The pastor also hits dating, modesty and lust. I think more pastors should go “beyond sex” and into the message of purity with their Sunday-morning words to help the Body grasp what it really means to follow Christ in this area.

Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

I love those words. In the Body of Christ we have a responsibility to help motivate each other in righteousness. When we “meet together” in fellowship, we allow the opportunity to be blessed by others—and words are one important means of doing that. Also, as 1 Timothy 4:12 says, even as younger people we’re told to set an example for other believers by our speech and purity, among other ways. Let’s spur each other on to these callings!

YES or NO (Words, Part 2)

Second grade, second grade. That’s a year of my life I remember in spankings. When I got in trouble growing up it was generally for what I said—usually trying to explain myself when my parents thought I should have just been quiet.

That year I got really into the so-called “sassy” sayings of the early 90s. My favorite, which may ring a bell, was “well excuse me”— only it was said while twisting the neck, snapping the fingers and stretching out the “u” in “excuse”—i.e., “well excuuuuuuuuuse me!”

At the time it didn’t register the saying was meant to be rude. I just had a whole lot of fun contorting my neck, popping my fingers and uttering it. And I was really good at it. On the playground I would win contests for the longest “neck bend, snap and excuse” sequence. Thinking my “gift” some sort of badge, for a couple weeks I would say it after any and every thing; mundane comments such as “I’m going outside,” “It’s cold today” or “Nice shirt” were all cause for a rendition of “well excuuuuusse me.”

It wasn’t until I made a few of the other girls cry—and after I got slapped in the face for saying it to my mom at an inopportune time—that I finally realized the “gusto” with which I proclaimed those words was actually deemed rude and hurtful.

There’s only one other incident I got in trouble for that year that I remember more: the time I paid for saying some variation of “I swear.”

My mother really didn’t really like those words. She would always mention how the Bible said we shouldn’t say them and instead should “let our ‘yes be yes’ and our ‘no be no.’”

Although her words stuck with me it would be years before I actually remember reading the verses she was referring to. They are a reminder of how seriously we are called to take our word—what we promise to others.

"OATHS" IN THE BIBLE

The passage, Matthew 5:33-37, reads:

33 Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.' 34But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; 35or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37 Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

The same warning is repeated in James 5:12-

12Above all, my brothers, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No," no, or you will be condemned.

There’s a history of the significance of “oaths” in Bible times that I don’t know much about, but I have read some interesting tidbits on it. Generally, an oath was a kind of verbal “contract” binding people to their words—with serious consequences for breaking it. Oaths in Old Testament books such as Leviticus and Numbers were generally made to God along with offerings or sacrifices. Biblical references denouncing the practice, such as in Matthew and James, warn us about avoiding them in our everyday language.

"OATHS" TODAY

Saying “I swear to” whatever is something we hear a lot today. We say it to let someone else know we’re really serious about something, e.g., “I swear [to you] I’m not lying,” “I swear on my mother’s grave,” I swear to…other things. Not only does the Bible say we shouldn’t go there because we don’t have the power to ensure that our word is absolutely true (Matthew 5: 36), but also that our word of “yes” or “no” should be a good enough assurance that—as far as we can control, what we say is a reflection of what we’ll do.

I think we live in a world where word generally doesn’t matter much. We all do it at least sometimes: make commitments but excuse fulfilling them with an “I forgot about doing that,” “I just got busy,” or “I don’t remember saying that.” But if we really take our word as seriously as we’re called to as Christians, we would be a lot more sensitive to making promises—and keeping them.

Accomplishing Our Word

Psalm 15

This passage explains how what we say is an integral part of our character as Christians:

1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?
2 He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart
3 and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,
4 who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,
5 who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things
will never be shaken.

Righteous acts are of course an important part of character, but notice how words are intertwined with actions as a sign of holy living—it includes speaking the truth (v. 2) and avoiding slander or slurs (v.3). Verse four also mentions keeping an oath “even when it hurts.” Again, as verses such as Matthew 5:33-37 and James 5:12 indicate, oaths are not to be made today, but the verse still highlights the value of doing what we say even when it’s uncomfortable or inconvenient. Matthew Henry’s Complete Commentary (an oldie but goodie:)) on verse four does a better job of explaining how “keeping an oath” in this context is a sign of character:

“See how weak-sighted and short-sighted even wise and good men may be; they may swear to their own hurt, which they were not aware of when they took the oath. But see how strong the obligation of an oath is, that a man must rather suffer loss to himself and his family than wrong his neighbour by breaking his oath. An oath is a sacred thing, which we must not think to play fast and loose with.” (Commentary on Psalm 15: 4).

God's "Word"

Another reason keeping our word is supposed to be part of our character is that it is part of God’s. We can trust Him because He does exactly what He says. His word is always as good as done, and it’s the foundation of our faith.In fact, we can stand on the words—promises—of God before the actions accompanying them are accomplished. That’s another reason doing what we say is so important!

Word as Bond

I think our world would change if every follower of Christ made every effort to be true to their word—letting our “yes” mean “yes” and our “no” mean “no”. We would have good, trustworthy reputations that, in turn, honor God. But for that to happen, we have to be very conscious—and intentional—about doing what we say.

One way that we can live out our calling in words is to treat what we say like currency. I like the quote “word is bond.” A relevant definition of bond is “something that binds a person or persons to a certain circumstance or line of behavior.” If we consider that we’re “bound” by our words, we know that we forfeit them if we don’t deliver—in this context, we “default” in reputation and trustworthiness. If we really consider this cost, we should not say we’ll do something without really thinking about how we’re going to accomplish it. Often we break our promises not because we mean not to do something, but because we don’t mean to do something. Before we make a promise, no matter how small, we should ask: “how am I actually going to keep it?”—and have an answer to that question as we make that promise.

I also think seeing word as currency is important because it’s a way for us to take responsibility for our actions. While on the one hand we can make promises and not keep them, on the other we can be tempted to, in an effort not to break our word, make no promises at all—saying “maybe” to everything. There’s certainly a place not to be sure of something—but a maybe should become a “yes” or a ‘no” (notice the absence of “maybe” in Matthew 5: 37 and James 5:12).

If we can never promise anything, it can also make us to be untrustworthy because we’re not bound by anything—to ourselves or others. And if we’re not bound, we never have to take ownership for our actions. But if we allow our word to bind us, then we force ourselves to make a “yes” or “no” decision with real consequences—and act accordingly. We especially may be afraid to say “no” to something at the risk of offending others, but the truth is the greater harm to our testimony is saying neither. Living like word is currency forces us to make our words align with our actions.

Ultimately, if we’re really following what God’s word says about our word, it should hurt us not to keep it--no matter how small the "default." And we’ll keep it, even when it’s uncomfortable.

We don’t need to—and shouldn’t— swear we’ll do something, but we must do what we say. So let’s avoid maybes where we can, and let our yes’ be yes, and our “nos” be no.

VERBAL AROMA (Words, Introduction)

I’m going to talk about words for a while— like, a few entries. I’ll be addressing our calling as Christians to use them to benefit others and ourselves—for His glory.

It’s a topic God’s placed on my heart lately. It’s funny last entry I talked about how I’m not very affected by what people say. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t believe words are important. In fact, I find them vital to living our faith—and they’re supposed to set us apart.

I thought of doing this series after attending an event last week where I heard the most unpleasant words I had in a long time. Sure I’m used to someone cursing, gossiping or engaging in otherwise negative talk at some point during the day (and sometimes I’m to blame)—but the hour-and-a-half I spent at that event was an especially intense and uncomfortable experience.

In similar situations I would have made some effort to turn the conversation positive—or at least change the subject—but this time I was just so aware of my discomfort that I said nothing.

That day I missed a chance to speak light—and life—with my words. Particularly this year, as I’ve started working—and dealing with different people in a “team” setting, I’ve been reminded of Colossians 4:5-6, which addresses our constant calling as Christians to use words rightly:

“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

I plan to analyze these verses later in the series, so I won't say much about them. But notice the pleasant images some key words bring: "full of grace" and "seasoned with salt." Our words are supposed to create a kind of verbal "fragrance"--or "aroma"--from which goodness flows to all. That's my prayer for the words of these next few entries.

I’ll be hitting several topics: swearing; gossip; negative talk; apologizing; and maybe more. I'll also be sharing my words "testimony"--how God has--and will--develop me in this area. I've always had strong opinions—and being “strong” in something is, of course, an opportunity for God to humble us—Amen?

Most importantly, this series is meant to remind you—and me—that our words are the distinction between life and death. Considering we have new life because of words of promise that He fulfilled on the cross, we ought always to choose life with our words—which also are to be full of grace, seasoned with salt.