I just got off the phone with my little brother (aka my protégé!). We ended up talking about why our parents are so great. I’ll admit that it did not start out that way. I think we began talking about law school (which my protégé is currently attending) and then got into a conversation about my mom. I'll concede that I started the conversation mentioning a little tiff we had the day before. But somehow it turned into how even the spat was an example of how caring she is. Then I think my brother mentioned something about my mom and dad complementing each other as a couple, and then we just kept talking from there. I’d agree, and say something else good about them, and then my brother would, and so on. Before I knew it, we had been trading compliments about them for a good half hour!
I’ll say beforehand that these are things that I have come to appreciate more as an adult. I think it’s often much easier to relate to your parents as a grown up, especially when they are at least generally pleased with how you turned out. It’s also a chance to see more of their personalities when they’re not scurrying to get you to all your extracurriculars or make sure you eat all your vegetables. Here are just a few of the things I want to say in
1. They love Jesus.
As I’ve said many times before, my parents were never about religion, but about knowing God and living for Him. Even in the earliest memories of growing up, my dad has always studied the Word of God and taught us to do so too. My parents put my first Scripture memory book in my hands at age three, and we’d spend hours studying the Bible as a family. My parents also sent us sent us to Christian schools from even the early years when my dad was a full-time grad student and wasn’t supposed to be able to afford it. Yet they sent us there in faith, knowing that God would provide. And he always did. My mom taught us about always doing the right thing even when no one is looking, and modeled the importance of prayer. They put their faith far above their culture, and we all saw it as the most important influence in their words and deeds.
2. They have an awesome relationship.
I appreciate this so much more as a grown up (I also think it’s been rejuvenated by having adult children and more time for each other!). I’ve never once seen my dad raise his voice at my mom, hit her or otherwise disrespect her. He never lords over her, but leads gently. My mom also is the picture of what it looks like to be submissive but still have a strong, opinionated personality. As my brother pointed out in our conversation today, they really do complement each other so well! I feel like whenever such praise about a marriage is expressed there’s some unwritten rule (or maybe it's on the books somewhere) that you’re supposed to say “but all marriage is hard and work, and nothing is perfect.” But honestly, I’m not compelled to qualify it that way (other than the fact that I mentioned that statement!). Of course there are hard times – but that’s life! Yet when two people make Jesus central and then each other, and really live it, it brings God glory, and they can’t be separated. That’s my mom and dad!
3. They’re some of the greatest humans you’ll ever meet (this is inexplicably linked to number 1).
Growing up people used to always say that my parents were really nice. I used to look at those folks as if they were aliens. They were strict (although not how you might think since they grew up in another culture, in Nigeria), but now I’ve seen much more of their niceness. My dad is one of the most genuine and open people who can do really great things for people to share the love of God and meet others needs and really does not care if the recipients have wrong motives in return. He’s really learned to see people the way God sees them. He has such as heart for missions and evangelism, and share his faith in love everywhere he goes. He never gives up on anyone. My mom is one of the kindest, caring people I have ever met and knows how to use words to pep you up like a tough-talking coach would, but also to build you up. She also loves to give and be hospitable, and is just really fun. Both of them are totally dedicated to serving God. NICE!
4. They don’t look back.
If you meet them, you’d never know what they’ve experienced in their lives, although both have had tough times while they were growing up that easily could have affected them negatively – and their kids. But when they made a choice to follow Jesus, they really meant it. As the Apostle Paul said in Philipians 3, they forgot what was behind and looked forward to their calling in Christ. And they’re so free!
5. They’re leaders, not followers.
Since I was a child, I’ve seen my parents take a stand for righteousness even when it was unpopular. I’ve even seen them ridiculed for it. Yet I’ve also seen those same folks come around through my parents’ example. And they welcome them still.
My parents aren’t perfect – but they are saints, as are all followers of Christ. They have made such a difference in my siblings, and in their communities and beyond. I don’t know why I am so blessed to be born to them, but I accept it as a wonderful gift from God. As I grow up, I want to be just like them - and their Jesus.
(Orchestrated yawn) Bedtime...
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