I just have a few minutes, but I really wanted to pass on a few resources that have been on my mind. Per the title, here’s my attempt to write one of my shortest blog entries ever (let’s see how I do)…
A User’s Guide to Bible Translations: Making the Most of Different Versions by David Dewey – My dad got this book for me at Christmas after the conversations we’ve had about Bible translations. Previously, I’ve shared my interest in the topic, here. It’s been a really informative, in depth look at the history and methods of various Bible translations. I am about halfway through – and think it’s a great tool for doing just what the title says: making the most of different versions. I will definitely be blogging a full entry about it when I finish!
Mark Driscoll Messages: At the moment, Pastor Driscoll of Mars Hill Church in Seattle is one of my favorite pastors to listen to online (He’s the one who preached the “Real Marriage” series that I blogged about a few months ago, here). There are two more message series in particular that I've listened to recently:
"The Seven" (click here to listen): About God's letters to the seven churches in Revelation. Driscoll preaches the messages from most, if not all, of the actual church locations, and provides context about the church's current state (a number of which no longer exist, for various reasons). I’ve listened to all of the messages, which have reminded me how relevant scripture is to the church today, and the need to pray earnestly for the body of Christ! I'm also reminded of the fact that I'd like to visit some of the areas (especially Ephesus!).
"The Peasant Princess: A Love Story from The Song of Songs" (to listen, click here): A fresh take on this book, which many pastors don’t touch (although I personally have listened to a few series on the topic, along with blogging through it, so I have probably said this before while sharing different message series, lol). I’ve only started message three, but I’ve gotten a lot out of the series already. The first part of Message One is framed by the “Sex as God, Gross or Gift” perspective later shared in the “Real Marriage” Series, but most of it has different content about biblical romantic love. A highlight for me so far is Driscoll’s mention of the five love languages in the second message, one of my favorite topics, which I blogged about a few years ago, here. I think they are a great tool for relating to each other in love and communicating better.
However, in the second message, Driscoll also makes some comments about husbands, wives and working outside the home that are controversial. But the important, relevant barometer is what the Word of God says about what he says, not culture – although I can think of a few modern changes in demographics that I think he could have addressed in the context of scripture but did not, such as delayed marriage (e.g., that, statistically, people are getting married later, and the differing perspectives about the meaning of being “financially secure” and able to provide for a family that sometimes come up between men and women, for example). I also am not necessarily agreeing with the lines he has drawn; I would need to do a study specifically on this topic to know whether I agree on exactly where to draw the line, but I do agree with the underlying biblical principles he presents (which I am not going into detail about in this "minute" entry, lol). Anyway, I do still think that this message is worth listening to, and looking forward to hearing the rest of the series!
Okay, with this last topic I managed to write more than I wanted today (but I’ll still keep the title – and try again next time)! If you’d like to listen to any of the messages mentioned, just click on the link in the section above (on the web site, you'll have the option of listening to or watching each message, including from an iPhone).
As I conclude (finally), I’m reminded of 2 Peter 1: 3-11, about the need for us to constantly seek ways to “add” to our faith so that we grow in Christ and be effective for Him. Let’s constantly consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Feel free to share other resources – and happy listening, and reading!
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Friday, July 06, 2012
All This Time
Recently I've been killing this CD by Christian pop artist Britt Nicole called Gold. As I've said here, I've loved pop for years - even through my transition to listening primarily to Christian music (although modern worship has replaced it as my favorite genre!). Gold is truly Pop Praise Prowess.
Just some of the great songs are "Ready or Not," featuring Christian hip-hop artist Lecrae, about followers of Christ showing the world where our light comes from. There's also "Who You Say You Are," an acknowledgement that Jesus is the God that He claimed to be, alluding to His exchange with Peter in Matthew 16. Then there's "Stand," about resting on God's promises, that takes inspiration from the classic hymn "On Christ the Solid Rock.”
But the song that prompted this entry is the hit single "All This Time." It captures so well the friend and Savior that we have in Jesus - and conveys my feelings about my relationship with the greatest Father and Friend.
"All This Time" has a touching backstory. It's Britt Nicole’s testimony of coming to know Christ at age seven after learning that her parents were getting a divorce and how God has walked with her since. Reflecting on the experience, she sings, "...I was only a girl but I grew up that day. Tears were falling, I know You saw me." The chorus continues, "All this time, from the first tear cried 'til today's sunrise and every single moment between, You were there, You were always there, it was You and I, you've been walking with me all this time." Part of another verse says, "You're the God who sees, the God who rescued me, this is my story."
The references to the tears and the God who sees relate to the story of Hagar in the Old Testament. As commonly known, Hagar was the maidservant of Sarah (then Sarai), wife of the patriarch Abraham (then Abram). Although God had promised Abraham and Sarah a child and many descendants (Genesis 15), many years passed before the promise was fulfilled. In the long interim, Sarah decided to help God fulfill His promise by having her maidservant give birth to a child for her (Gen. 16: 1-3).
In historical context, women with some means who could not have children, or women who did not have sons, often called on their slaves to bear children for them. This required the husband to take on the slave as a "wife." By this "union," the child borne by the slave would then be considered, in some respect, the child of the first wife. Chronological Study Bible, pp. 28-29 (which is at least akin to a slave wife fulfilling a contractual duty, not engaging in a covenant marriage with the husband of her mistress as we would describe a genuine marriage today).
The Bible records two occasions in particular where Hagar and Sarah became divided over the arrangement. The first was after Hagar became pregnant. Genesis 16:4 says, "and when [Sarai] saw that [Hagar] had conceived, her mistress became despised in her eyes"(NKJV). Hagar decided to flee (v. 6). While she was in the wilderness, the Angel of the Lord, generally believed to be God himself, visited her in the desert. The Angel of the Lord told her to return to her mistress’ home, and ensured a future for her son and his descendants. In response, Hagar said,“You are the God who sees me...I have now seen the One who sees me” (v. 13). The God Who Sees Me often is repeated today in Hebrew as a name for God, El Roi (EL raw-EE). Praying the Names of God: A Daily Guide by Ann Spangler (2004).
The second time Hagar was forced out occurred after both her son, Ishmael, and Isaac, the son that God had promised to Abraham and Sarah, were born, as told in Genesis 21. After Sarah told her to go, Hagar took Ishmael and left, ending up in the desert. Again she felt alone - and sure that her son would die. She distanced herself from him and began to cry, as did her son (v.17). And, again, God heard their cries, and responded (vv. 17-21).
Hagar's story – and Britt's in "All This Time"- thousands of years apart, are such powerful examples of God's love for every single one of us. That the God of the Universe would hear the cries of ordinary people whom the world largely sees as small - children and a servant– and across ages – is such a testament to His steady, unchanging character! And there are so many more examples in God's Word of His care for each life. In Matthew 10:30, Jesus says that the very hairs on our head are numbered. In Psalm 139, one of my favorite passages, it says that we are not even hidden from God at the time of our conception; even then, He sees our unformed bodies.
As I listened to "All This Time," I also have shed my own tears just thinking about what a comforter, companion and King that God has been to me for so many years. When I recall the many times I've cried out to God in low and high moments - and how I've seen Him work wonders as a result, I can't help but feel His nearness in such a deep way. I am so blessed to have people close to me, especially my family, who have been with me through a myriad of experiences. Yet no one is quite like Jesus.
He's The One who always gets me - never misunderstands, knows just what I'm thinking -better than me, and before I think it. He's The One who is never too busy, too spent, too human - to connect with me. He's The One who always guides me in the right direction and loves me, no matter what. I love how my cries reach His ears, and He answers them at times and in ways that I don't even expect; He always makes something beautiful out of my intimate moments with Him. I love that He always encourages me to know Him more, so that I can live in the abundance He has for me. I love that His plans for me are always excellent, giving me hope and a future. I love that He's given me an entire book of promises that I can rely on. Gosh, His love is just so overwhelming -beyond anything I can ask or imagine! And I really love Him back for it - because He first loved me!
Proverbs 18:24 says, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (NIV). The second part of the verse, that there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother, is the part that makes me think of Jesus. I have really great brothers - the best brothers ever, I'd say, but even they are not quite like Friend Jesus. And no other companion ever can be.
There's another line in Britt's song that really stands out to me. It goes, "I hear these people asking me, how do I know what I believe? Well I'm not the same me, and it's all the proof I need. I've found love, I've found your grace, you stole my heart that day."
There was a time when I had a hard time saying that I love God. It wasn't because I didn't have a positive emotional reaction to Him, but because, at the time, I was not sure how devoted in my heart that I was to God. When I was about to start college, things did not go the way I wanted them to, and I remember getting upset with God. I journaled thoughts to Him that I read about a year later that made me cry. Although I don't remember the exact words I wrote down (I probably blocked them out), I do remember expressing anger at God for not having my way over something that, in retrospect, seemed so small.
A verse that often comes to mind when I think about loving God, and did after that incident, is John 14:15: “If you love me, you will obey what I command.” God does not define love as a feeling, but as true, heartfelt obedience. The God of the Universe created us in His image, and gave us a heart like His. He wants nothing less than all of it. My attitude then just reminded me that I wasn't giving Him all of it. For years after that I hesitated when saying I love Him, because I wondered if my heart was truly devoted to Him.
But now, I thank God so much for those moments that I cried out to Him, even in the wrong way, because today He's turned them into sunrise. I praise Him because today He has so much more of my heart, and I can truly say how much I do love Him. He's given me so many moments through which I've come to a deeper understanding of how dependent I am on Him for my every breath. I’ve especially seen it in how much more I turn to Him, not people or myself, for resolutions to conflict. In many ways, I've redirected my expectations for people to God, and given my grievances with others to Him for fixing, knowing that He's the only one who can make the changes - in them, and in me. It is so liberating to put hope in God rather than others!
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend, thank you so much for walking with me all this time - from my first tear until today's sunrise. In so many moments, it’s been just me and You. I feel Your closeness more and more. Thank you for guiding me - showing me what to do. Thank you so very much for seeing me. And thank you for never leaving - not now - or even into eternity. My heart is yours.
Check out "All This Time" and Gold, by Britt Nicole.
Just some of the great songs are "Ready or Not," featuring Christian hip-hop artist Lecrae, about followers of Christ showing the world where our light comes from. There's also "Who You Say You Are," an acknowledgement that Jesus is the God that He claimed to be, alluding to His exchange with Peter in Matthew 16. Then there's "Stand," about resting on God's promises, that takes inspiration from the classic hymn "On Christ the Solid Rock.”
But the song that prompted this entry is the hit single "All This Time." It captures so well the friend and Savior that we have in Jesus - and conveys my feelings about my relationship with the greatest Father and Friend.
"All This Time" has a touching backstory. It's Britt Nicole’s testimony of coming to know Christ at age seven after learning that her parents were getting a divorce and how God has walked with her since. Reflecting on the experience, she sings, "...I was only a girl but I grew up that day. Tears were falling, I know You saw me." The chorus continues, "All this time, from the first tear cried 'til today's sunrise and every single moment between, You were there, You were always there, it was You and I, you've been walking with me all this time." Part of another verse says, "You're the God who sees, the God who rescued me, this is my story."
The references to the tears and the God who sees relate to the story of Hagar in the Old Testament. As commonly known, Hagar was the maidservant of Sarah (then Sarai), wife of the patriarch Abraham (then Abram). Although God had promised Abraham and Sarah a child and many descendants (Genesis 15), many years passed before the promise was fulfilled. In the long interim, Sarah decided to help God fulfill His promise by having her maidservant give birth to a child for her (Gen. 16: 1-3).
In historical context, women with some means who could not have children, or women who did not have sons, often called on their slaves to bear children for them. This required the husband to take on the slave as a "wife." By this "union," the child borne by the slave would then be considered, in some respect, the child of the first wife. Chronological Study Bible, pp. 28-29 (which is at least akin to a slave wife fulfilling a contractual duty, not engaging in a covenant marriage with the husband of her mistress as we would describe a genuine marriage today).
The Bible records two occasions in particular where Hagar and Sarah became divided over the arrangement. The first was after Hagar became pregnant. Genesis 16:4 says, "and when [Sarai] saw that [Hagar] had conceived, her mistress became despised in her eyes"(NKJV). Hagar decided to flee (v. 6). While she was in the wilderness, the Angel of the Lord, generally believed to be God himself, visited her in the desert. The Angel of the Lord told her to return to her mistress’ home, and ensured a future for her son and his descendants. In response, Hagar said,“You are the God who sees me...I have now seen the One who sees me” (v. 13). The God Who Sees Me often is repeated today in Hebrew as a name for God, El Roi (EL raw-EE). Praying the Names of God: A Daily Guide by Ann Spangler (2004).
The second time Hagar was forced out occurred after both her son, Ishmael, and Isaac, the son that God had promised to Abraham and Sarah, were born, as told in Genesis 21. After Sarah told her to go, Hagar took Ishmael and left, ending up in the desert. Again she felt alone - and sure that her son would die. She distanced herself from him and began to cry, as did her son (v.17). And, again, God heard their cries, and responded (vv. 17-21).
Hagar's story – and Britt's in "All This Time"- thousands of years apart, are such powerful examples of God's love for every single one of us. That the God of the Universe would hear the cries of ordinary people whom the world largely sees as small - children and a servant– and across ages – is such a testament to His steady, unchanging character! And there are so many more examples in God's Word of His care for each life. In Matthew 10:30, Jesus says that the very hairs on our head are numbered. In Psalm 139, one of my favorite passages, it says that we are not even hidden from God at the time of our conception; even then, He sees our unformed bodies.
As I listened to "All This Time," I also have shed my own tears just thinking about what a comforter, companion and King that God has been to me for so many years. When I recall the many times I've cried out to God in low and high moments - and how I've seen Him work wonders as a result, I can't help but feel His nearness in such a deep way. I am so blessed to have people close to me, especially my family, who have been with me through a myriad of experiences. Yet no one is quite like Jesus.
He's The One who always gets me - never misunderstands, knows just what I'm thinking -better than me, and before I think it. He's The One who is never too busy, too spent, too human - to connect with me. He's The One who always guides me in the right direction and loves me, no matter what. I love how my cries reach His ears, and He answers them at times and in ways that I don't even expect; He always makes something beautiful out of my intimate moments with Him. I love that He always encourages me to know Him more, so that I can live in the abundance He has for me. I love that His plans for me are always excellent, giving me hope and a future. I love that He's given me an entire book of promises that I can rely on. Gosh, His love is just so overwhelming -beyond anything I can ask or imagine! And I really love Him back for it - because He first loved me!
Proverbs 18:24 says, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (NIV). The second part of the verse, that there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother, is the part that makes me think of Jesus. I have really great brothers - the best brothers ever, I'd say, but even they are not quite like Friend Jesus. And no other companion ever can be.
There's another line in Britt's song that really stands out to me. It goes, "I hear these people asking me, how do I know what I believe? Well I'm not the same me, and it's all the proof I need. I've found love, I've found your grace, you stole my heart that day."
There was a time when I had a hard time saying that I love God. It wasn't because I didn't have a positive emotional reaction to Him, but because, at the time, I was not sure how devoted in my heart that I was to God. When I was about to start college, things did not go the way I wanted them to, and I remember getting upset with God. I journaled thoughts to Him that I read about a year later that made me cry. Although I don't remember the exact words I wrote down (I probably blocked them out), I do remember expressing anger at God for not having my way over something that, in retrospect, seemed so small.
A verse that often comes to mind when I think about loving God, and did after that incident, is John 14:15: “If you love me, you will obey what I command.” God does not define love as a feeling, but as true, heartfelt obedience. The God of the Universe created us in His image, and gave us a heart like His. He wants nothing less than all of it. My attitude then just reminded me that I wasn't giving Him all of it. For years after that I hesitated when saying I love Him, because I wondered if my heart was truly devoted to Him.
But now, I thank God so much for those moments that I cried out to Him, even in the wrong way, because today He's turned them into sunrise. I praise Him because today He has so much more of my heart, and I can truly say how much I do love Him. He's given me so many moments through which I've come to a deeper understanding of how dependent I am on Him for my every breath. I’ve especially seen it in how much more I turn to Him, not people or myself, for resolutions to conflict. In many ways, I've redirected my expectations for people to God, and given my grievances with others to Him for fixing, knowing that He's the only one who can make the changes - in them, and in me. It is so liberating to put hope in God rather than others!
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend, thank you so much for walking with me all this time - from my first tear until today's sunrise. In so many moments, it’s been just me and You. I feel Your closeness more and more. Thank you for guiding me - showing me what to do. Thank you so very much for seeing me. And thank you for never leaving - not now - or even into eternity. My heart is yours.
Check out "All This Time" and Gold, by Britt Nicole.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
EAT THIS BOOK
I’m sharing an updated testimony about how God is using Bible reading in my life. I borrowed the title of this entry from my brother, whose church is currently doing a sermon series called “Eat this Book”, about studying the Word of God. It’s also a church-wide challenge to read through the Bible in one year. I blogged last year about my church doing the “New Thru 30” program, a 30-day read through the New Testament, which was the catalyst for me reading through the Bible for the first time.
As I’ve said previously, “New Thru 30” is billed as a “P90X” for spiritual fitness – it helps you develop the discipline to read more of God’s Word daily, consume the complete counsel of God’s Word rather than just picking certain parts you’d rather read, and helps you see the big picture of redemption in a way that you don’t get from reading individual passages.
New Thru 30 truly revolutionized the way I consume Scripture. After I finished it and then the Old Testament, I vowed to make reading through the Bible a constant endeavor. I ended up focusing on a couple other topical studies for the rest of 2011, but decided to start off 2012 with New Thru 30 again. This time, I did a book club (called “The Best Book Club,” for the fact that we read The Best Book ever written, of course)! We read individually, but shared our experiences by e-mail and in a couple group meetings.
It was another profitable read. This time around, God pressed on my heart the personal testimonies of disciples who walked with Jesus while He was on earth and then were pivotal in the launch of the early church and the spread of The Gospel. I came to appreciate even more the life and witness of John, the apostle of love. It reminded me that God is writing a special story for my life too – and the lives of all believers- and He wants to use ordinary people like us to share His Message in unimaginable ways. I am so excited to be part of His kingdom!
The Next Meal
The spiritual toning from New Thru 30 helped me dive into my current Bible reading challenge, which is going through the Word of God in one year using The Chronological Study Bible, published by Thomas Nelson. As I read through the Old Testament last year and saw how several books appeared to overlap or repeat, especially stories in the Kings and Chronicles and Ezra and Nehemiah, I thought it would be interesting to see how they fit in historical order. About that time I saw my dad with the Study Bible and decided to get it as well.
The read’s been great so far! The biblical scholars who organized The Chronological Study Bible point out that trying to rearrange the Bible in time order – which included transplanting particular chapters from within books of the Bible - is a “fallible human effort.” There is disagreement among biblical scholars about when events occurred; there are often accepted ranges within a period of time in which a book, or specific chapters within books, could have been written, but not certainty about precise dates, and the dates of other books are believed to be unknown or defy chronology. The Chronological Study Bible, page xi. The authors provide some insightful introductory comments about the purpose of a read through an imperfectly organized chronological text:
If we are to understand and appropriate the Bible’s message today, we need some sense of the historical and cultural context in which its diverse parts appeared…One goal of The Chronological Study Bible is to help readers join the scholars’ quest for biblical truth…[Another point is that] Historical events are often the Bible’s subject matter, but these events are always reported from a particular perspective. That perspective is theological history. It is in the arena of history that God has chosen to make himself known…The Old Testament was the Bible of the New Testament writers...History writing in the New Testament is certainly theological history. The authors believed that the purpose and meaning of history could be found in Christ. There, the history of what they wrote was salvation history. God’s earlier saving works [seen in the Old Testament] looked forward to the Cross. pp. x, xi-xii.I found these and other comments in the introductory section so enlightening. I am enamored by the fact that we can see the Bible as God giving us revelation about Himself through history – theological history, and this perspective can guide us into a greater understanding of His purposes, ways and will. That God orchestrated events recorded in His Word that reveal His character – and His plan to save humanity – makes every word so essential, life giving. It illuminates what the psalmist said about God’s Word in Psalm 19: 7-8:
“The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple. The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes.”
The Word of God truly is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path!
Minding My Munch
I've found this biblical chrono-theo-history thing is like, super awesome! The organization of The Chronological Study Bible puts the books Genesis – Ruth in almost the exact same order as in the traditional Bible, with the exception of probably just a psalm associated with Moses, Psalm 90 (there may be a couple other differences, but none that I recall or can see from a quick look back). However, starting in 1 Samuel, chapters and books start to get rearranged in very fascinating ways.
I’m currently near the end of the stories in 1 Samuel, which focus on Saul, King of Israel, and future King David. Intertwined are psalms that relate to events in David’s life that were occurring in 1 Samuel. Right now I’m reading about David running from Saul, who started seeking David’s life after the prophet Samuel told Saul that the kingdom would be taken from him as a result of his failure to obey God (1 Samuel 15:10-35). The psalms that are associated with these events are inserted at relevant points in the story.
For example, after 1 Samuel 24:1-22, when David spares Saul’s life when their paths cross while Saul is in pursuit of David, Psalms 57 and 142, prayers for relief from David's enemies, follow. Several other similar psalms are included throughout David’s story (As often noted, David is believed to have written several psalms, and many others are at least associated with his experiences, if not written by him. However, these psalms still account for just about half of the 150 psalms).
The mix of 1 Samuel with several psalms is really bringing David’s story into focus. Through the order I’m really grasping the trials that David experienced in the period between the time he was anointed king (1 Samuel 16) and his actual coronation. The psalms intertwined in this section, whether they were actually written by David or not, really illustrate the despair that he experienced at times during the wait. At one point while on the run from Saul, 1 Samuel 27:1 says, “And David said in his heart, 'Now I shall perish someday by the hand of Saul. There is nothing better for me than that I should speedily escape to the land of the Philistines; and Saul will despair of me, to seek me anymore in any part of Israel. So I shall escape out of his hand.'” (NKJV). David spends about one year and four months living under the Philistines, who were then among Israel’s enemies (Psalm 27:7).
That verse, in the context, really struck me. It was such a reminder of the fact that there can be a lot of uncertain, scary times in waiting for God’s promises to be fulfilled – even when we know they will be in the future. In the chapter, the Bible does not say anything of David getting ahead of God or being sinful for aligning with the Philistines; in fact, a commentary I reviewed briefly, despite mentioning that David did not know then that Saul had actually stopped pursing him, still notes David's decision as one that kept him from any more danger from Saul’s pursuit and gave him the opportunity to gain “combat and leadership skills.” The Bible Knowledge Commentary, p. 453. While David waited, he still felt fear, and perhaps doubt. Yet God used the wait as a way to strengthen him for his predetermined assignment of king.
A principle from this story is so pivotal to apply in our times of waiting: even in our fear about the future, God will accomplish whatever He has promised. Our only responsibility it to be obedient to His will even in the doubt and seize the opportunities for growth that God gives us as we wait. David never tried to jump ahead of God by killing Saul – even when he had a clear opportunity to do so. Instead, he made vengeance God’s, gave his fear to God and did what he could without interfering with God’s timing for fulfilling His promise. That's how we should approach our waiting times!
Filling Up
As I continue the chronological read, I’m looking forward to consuming more of God’s Word in sizable quantities! I will share more thoughts about what I’m learning periodically.
Also, if you’re not getting your daily meal of the Word, or need a healthier serving, check out YouVersion.com and the accompanying Bible app! There are hundreds of reading plans, from a few-day topical studies to read-through-the-Bible programs that take just a few months up to two years.
I also recommend The Chronological Study Bible, presented here (Family Christian Bookstore often sells it, and other Bibles, for half off - I got it there for about $27). In addition to the reorganization according to time periods (referred to as “Epochs”), it contains very useful synopses about the historical and cultural context of events throughout scripture and passage summaries that consider the theological history perspective. Whatever studies we choose, it’s essential that we EAT THIS BOOK!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
My Mom and Dad (All About Jesus)
This is a very impromptu, unedited blog entry that I have little time for at the moment (should be in bed so I can wake up for an extra-early work day), but I just felt compelled to share what’s on my heart in thankfulness to God. It will be pretty rough – stream of consciousness style somewhat, but I am going for it. The topic: my awesome parents...
I just got off the phone with my little brother (aka my protégé!). We ended up talking about why our parents are so great. I’ll admit that it did not start out that way. I think we began talking about law school (which my protégé is currently attending) and then got into a conversation about my mom. I'll concede that I started the conversation mentioning a little tiff we had the day before. But somehow it turned into how even the spat was an example of how caring she is. Then I think my brother mentioned something about my mom and dad complementing each other as a couple, and then we just kept talking from there. I’d agree, and say something else good about them, and then my brother would, and so on. Before I knew it, we had been trading compliments about them for a good half hour!
I’ll say beforehand that these are things that I have come to appreciate more as an adult. I think it’s often much easier to relate to your parents as a grown up, especially when they are at least generally pleased with how you turned out. It’s also a chance to see more of their personalities when they’re not scurrying to get you to all your extracurriculars or make sure you eat all your vegetables. Here are just a few of the things I want to say in
1. They love Jesus.
As I’ve said many times before, my parents were never about religion, but about knowing God and living for Him. Even in the earliest memories of growing up, my dad has always studied the Word of God and taught us to do so too. My parents put my first Scripture memory book in my hands at age three, and we’d spend hours studying the Bible as a family. My parents also sent us sent us to Christian schools from even the early years when my dad was a full-time grad student and wasn’t supposed to be able to afford it. Yet they sent us there in faith, knowing that God would provide. And he always did. My mom taught us about always doing the right thing even when no one is looking, and modeled the importance of prayer. They put their faith far above their culture, and we all saw it as the most important influence in their words and deeds.
2. They have an awesome relationship.
I appreciate this so much more as a grown up (I also think it’s been rejuvenated by having adult children and more time for each other!). I’ve never once seen my dad raise his voice at my mom, hit her or otherwise disrespect her. He never lords over her, but leads gently. My mom also is the picture of what it looks like to be submissive but still have a strong, opinionated personality. As my brother pointed out in our conversation today, they really do complement each other so well! I feel like whenever such praise about a marriage is expressed there’s some unwritten rule (or maybe it's on the books somewhere) that you’re supposed to say “but all marriage is hard and work, and nothing is perfect.” But honestly, I’m not compelled to qualify it that way (other than the fact that I mentioned that statement!). Of course there are hard times – but that’s life! Yet when two people make Jesus central and then each other, and really live it, it brings God glory, and they can’t be separated. That’s my mom and dad!
3. They’re some of the greatest humans you’ll ever meet (this is inexplicably linked to number 1).
Growing up people used to always say that my parents were really nice. I used to look at those folks as if they were aliens. They were strict (although not how you might think since they grew up in another culture, in Nigeria), but now I’ve seen much more of their niceness. My dad is one of the most genuine and open people who can do really great things for people to share the love of God and meet others needs and really does not care if the recipients have wrong motives in return. He’s really learned to see people the way God sees them. He has such as heart for missions and evangelism, and share his faith in love everywhere he goes. He never gives up on anyone. My mom is one of the kindest, caring people I have ever met and knows how to use words to pep you up like a tough-talking coach would, but also to build you up. She also loves to give and be hospitable, and is just really fun. Both of them are totally dedicated to serving God. NICE!
4. They don’t look back.
If you meet them, you’d never know what they’ve experienced in their lives, although both have had tough times while they were growing up that easily could have affected them negatively – and their kids. But when they made a choice to follow Jesus, they really meant it. As the Apostle Paul said in Philipians 3, they forgot what was behind and looked forward to their calling in Christ. And they’re so free!
5. They’re leaders, not followers.
Since I was a child, I’ve seen my parents take a stand for righteousness even when it was unpopular. I’ve even seen them ridiculed for it. Yet I’ve also seen those same folks come around through my parents’ example. And they welcome them still.
I just got off the phone with my little brother (aka my protégé!). We ended up talking about why our parents are so great. I’ll admit that it did not start out that way. I think we began talking about law school (which my protégé is currently attending) and then got into a conversation about my mom. I'll concede that I started the conversation mentioning a little tiff we had the day before. But somehow it turned into how even the spat was an example of how caring she is. Then I think my brother mentioned something about my mom and dad complementing each other as a couple, and then we just kept talking from there. I’d agree, and say something else good about them, and then my brother would, and so on. Before I knew it, we had been trading compliments about them for a good half hour!
I’ll say beforehand that these are things that I have come to appreciate more as an adult. I think it’s often much easier to relate to your parents as a grown up, especially when they are at least generally pleased with how you turned out. It’s also a chance to see more of their personalities when they’re not scurrying to get you to all your extracurriculars or make sure you eat all your vegetables. Here are just a few of the things I want to say in
1. They love Jesus.
As I’ve said many times before, my parents were never about religion, but about knowing God and living for Him. Even in the earliest memories of growing up, my dad has always studied the Word of God and taught us to do so too. My parents put my first Scripture memory book in my hands at age three, and we’d spend hours studying the Bible as a family. My parents also sent us sent us to Christian schools from even the early years when my dad was a full-time grad student and wasn’t supposed to be able to afford it. Yet they sent us there in faith, knowing that God would provide. And he always did. My mom taught us about always doing the right thing even when no one is looking, and modeled the importance of prayer. They put their faith far above their culture, and we all saw it as the most important influence in their words and deeds.
2. They have an awesome relationship.
I appreciate this so much more as a grown up (I also think it’s been rejuvenated by having adult children and more time for each other!). I’ve never once seen my dad raise his voice at my mom, hit her or otherwise disrespect her. He never lords over her, but leads gently. My mom also is the picture of what it looks like to be submissive but still have a strong, opinionated personality. As my brother pointed out in our conversation today, they really do complement each other so well! I feel like whenever such praise about a marriage is expressed there’s some unwritten rule (or maybe it's on the books somewhere) that you’re supposed to say “but all marriage is hard and work, and nothing is perfect.” But honestly, I’m not compelled to qualify it that way (other than the fact that I mentioned that statement!). Of course there are hard times – but that’s life! Yet when two people make Jesus central and then each other, and really live it, it brings God glory, and they can’t be separated. That’s my mom and dad!
3. They’re some of the greatest humans you’ll ever meet (this is inexplicably linked to number 1).
Growing up people used to always say that my parents were really nice. I used to look at those folks as if they were aliens. They were strict (although not how you might think since they grew up in another culture, in Nigeria), but now I’ve seen much more of their niceness. My dad is one of the most genuine and open people who can do really great things for people to share the love of God and meet others needs and really does not care if the recipients have wrong motives in return. He’s really learned to see people the way God sees them. He has such as heart for missions and evangelism, and share his faith in love everywhere he goes. He never gives up on anyone. My mom is one of the kindest, caring people I have ever met and knows how to use words to pep you up like a tough-talking coach would, but also to build you up. She also loves to give and be hospitable, and is just really fun. Both of them are totally dedicated to serving God. NICE!
4. They don’t look back.
If you meet them, you’d never know what they’ve experienced in their lives, although both have had tough times while they were growing up that easily could have affected them negatively – and their kids. But when they made a choice to follow Jesus, they really meant it. As the Apostle Paul said in Philipians 3, they forgot what was behind and looked forward to their calling in Christ. And they’re so free!
5. They’re leaders, not followers.
Since I was a child, I’ve seen my parents take a stand for righteousness even when it was unpopular. I’ve even seen them ridiculed for it. Yet I’ve also seen those same folks come around through my parents’ example. And they welcome them still.
My parents aren’t perfect – but they are saints, as are all followers of Christ. They have made such a difference in my siblings, and in their communities and beyond. I don’t know why I am so blessed to be born to them, but I accept it as a wonderful gift from God. As I grow up, I want to be just like them - and their Jesus.
(Orchestrated yawn) Bedtime...
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
The Truth (on Love)
I’m sharing another message series – this one from Mark Driscoll, Pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle. It’s based on the book he and his wife recently wrote called Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship and Life Together. After I saw the book featured at Family Christian Bookstore a few weeks ago, I went online to get more information about it and found that Driscoll had preached the accompanying message series earlier this year. It’s one of the best on marriage that I’ve listened to – perhaps ever (as I say frequently)!
The title of the book sums up the 11-week series. It’s a candid, biblically based treatment of marriage that is still beneficial for both married and single people. He really does preach the truth of God’s Word, without compromise, so expect to hear it! Every message is worth listening to, but there are a few that stood out for me:
Part 3: Men and Marriage – I really like the perspective this message provides about the role of the man as head of the family and how he should treat his wife. It also presents a beautiful picture of marriage as God intends.
Part 4: The Respectful Wife – Provides very good advice about submission in marriage, that loaded topic that never ceases to cause a stir. It addresses the meaning of women respecting their husbands – and ways to disrespect him that are not always addressed. I really benefitted from the teaching!
Part 6: Sex: God, Gross or Gift? - This one is perhaps my favorite! Driscoll presents three views of sex, embodied by the sermon title. Sex as God is when we make it an idol and engage in it outside God’s boundaries. Gross is when we see it as something disgusting that God did not create. Sex as a gift is when we have a healthy view of it and save it for God’s boundaries (my pastor actually referred to this chapter the day after I had listened to it in another great message on the topic – to me confirmation that God was really speaking to me through it!). As I listened, I felt Driscoll’s preaching on sex as a gift goes with my testimony that I’ve shared many times here about the importance of learning to embrace God’s design for sex in a world where it is distorted, even among Christians. I thank God I am still learning about the meaning of sex as a gift!
I also appreciate the statement Driscoll makes that, in marriage, God does not give you a “type,” but a spouse. That person is then your standard of beauty, and that’s what you have to be into (e.g., if he or she is short, you’re into short; if tall, tall; if he or she “used to be skinny,” then that’s what you’re into. Love that!). The message is a great way to gain insight into how to renew your mind in the area of sex!
Part 8: The Porn Path – Yes, it’s about pornography, and the teaching is awesome. The message is actually intertwined with the testimony of a woman formerly in the porn industry. Several sad statistics about Christians and pornography are also included – which I had also just come across a couple days before while researching for an upcoming sexual purity event that I’m hosting with some friends (another reason I felt God brought this series to my attention). Driscoll gives very sound biblical advice for overcoming porn addiction – and addiction to other sexual sin. He notes that it’s about much more than just changing a behavior, but changing your desires by learning to worship Jesus wholeheartedly. He uses a line that I totally believe in and will probably be saying forever: “Your theology can conquer your biology.”
Part 10: “Can We____________?” - Practically, this message is for married people, but principally is for everyone. It addresses how couples should set sexual boundaries in marriage. I appreciated the theological framework presented for approaching these issues in marriage. Embracing the teaching as insight into God’s design for sex, but also filing it away…
Okay, I pretty much mentioned half of the series, more than I intended, but it’s that good!
Almost all of the messages also include a Q&A with Pastor Driscoll and his wife, Grace, during which questions from churchgoers are answered. I appreciate their honest and biblically sound responses to the inquiries.
In John 8: 31-32, Jesus said: “...If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
When we follow Jesus wholeheartedly, He reveals His Truth to us. And oh, it is liberating…
Check out the messages online here, or on iTunes for free, Podcasts > Mars Hill Church : Mark Driscoll Audio > January 16 – March 25, 2012.
Happy listening!
The title of the book sums up the 11-week series. It’s a candid, biblically based treatment of marriage that is still beneficial for both married and single people. He really does preach the truth of God’s Word, without compromise, so expect to hear it! Every message is worth listening to, but there are a few that stood out for me:
Part 3: Men and Marriage – I really like the perspective this message provides about the role of the man as head of the family and how he should treat his wife. It also presents a beautiful picture of marriage as God intends.
Part 4: The Respectful Wife – Provides very good advice about submission in marriage, that loaded topic that never ceases to cause a stir. It addresses the meaning of women respecting their husbands – and ways to disrespect him that are not always addressed. I really benefitted from the teaching!
Part 6: Sex: God, Gross or Gift? - This one is perhaps my favorite! Driscoll presents three views of sex, embodied by the sermon title. Sex as God is when we make it an idol and engage in it outside God’s boundaries. Gross is when we see it as something disgusting that God did not create. Sex as a gift is when we have a healthy view of it and save it for God’s boundaries (my pastor actually referred to this chapter the day after I had listened to it in another great message on the topic – to me confirmation that God was really speaking to me through it!). As I listened, I felt Driscoll’s preaching on sex as a gift goes with my testimony that I’ve shared many times here about the importance of learning to embrace God’s design for sex in a world where it is distorted, even among Christians. I thank God I am still learning about the meaning of sex as a gift!
I also appreciate the statement Driscoll makes that, in marriage, God does not give you a “type,” but a spouse. That person is then your standard of beauty, and that’s what you have to be into (e.g., if he or she is short, you’re into short; if tall, tall; if he or she “used to be skinny,” then that’s what you’re into. Love that!). The message is a great way to gain insight into how to renew your mind in the area of sex!
Part 8: The Porn Path – Yes, it’s about pornography, and the teaching is awesome. The message is actually intertwined with the testimony of a woman formerly in the porn industry. Several sad statistics about Christians and pornography are also included – which I had also just come across a couple days before while researching for an upcoming sexual purity event that I’m hosting with some friends (another reason I felt God brought this series to my attention). Driscoll gives very sound biblical advice for overcoming porn addiction – and addiction to other sexual sin. He notes that it’s about much more than just changing a behavior, but changing your desires by learning to worship Jesus wholeheartedly. He uses a line that I totally believe in and will probably be saying forever: “Your theology can conquer your biology.”
Part 10: “Can We____________?” - Practically, this message is for married people, but principally is for everyone. It addresses how couples should set sexual boundaries in marriage. I appreciated the theological framework presented for approaching these issues in marriage. Embracing the teaching as insight into God’s design for sex, but also filing it away…
Okay, I pretty much mentioned half of the series, more than I intended, but it’s that good!
Almost all of the messages also include a Q&A with Pastor Driscoll and his wife, Grace, during which questions from churchgoers are answered. I appreciate their honest and biblically sound responses to the inquiries.
In John 8: 31-32, Jesus said: “...If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
When we follow Jesus wholeheartedly, He reveals His Truth to us. And oh, it is liberating…
Check out the messages online here, or on iTunes for free, Podcasts > Mars Hill Church : Mark Driscoll Audio > January 16 – March 25, 2012.
Happy listening!
Sunday, April 08, 2012
BROKEN
I had no intention of blogging today, but the message we had at church provided me with thoughts to share...
Today we just started a series at church called “Out of the Loop,” about breaking “generational cycles” of sin, or detrimental habits that are passed down in families. These are sometimes referred to as “generational curses,” but I have never been comfortable with that terminology (or “theology,” perhaps). As my pastor actually puts it, Jesus Christ became the “curse” for us by dying on the cross, so there is no longer any curse.
Galatians 3:13-14 says, "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: 'Cursed is everyone who is hung on a pole.' He redeemed us in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit."
Because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, we are no longer hopelessly destined to repeat the sins of our forefathers. Christ is the answer to overcoming “hand-me-down” sins: there is no other “secret” or mystery to stopping these cycles. When we choose to follow Him wholeheartedly, the sins of our parents, and their parents, will not determine our destiny.
In Joshua 24, Joshua, who led the Israelites into the Promised Land, said this to them about how to overcome the sins of their parents:
“Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” (vv. 14-15)
In the familiar story of Joshua and Caleb, after God led the Israelites out of Egypt, Moses sent them and ten other men as spies to survey the occupied land of Canaan that God had promised to the Israelites (Numbers 13). Although the 12 agreed that the land was good, flowing “with milk and honey” (v. 27), except for Joshua and Caleb, the others did not believe that they could overtake the land because of the size and strength of the people living there (vv. 28-33). The Israelites decided to listen to the naysayers rather than Joshua and Caleb, even wanting to stone the two to death (Numbers 14: 1- 10).
As a result of that generation's unbelief, they faced God's punishment as the consequence of their sin:
"Because they have not followed me wholeheartedly, not one of the men twenty years old or more who came up out of Egypt will see the land I promised on oath to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob— not one except Caleb son of Jephunneh the Kenizzite and Joshua son of Nun, for they followed the LORD wholeheartedly.’ The LORD’s anger burned against Israel and he made them wander in the desert forty years, until the whole generation of those who had done evil in his sight was gone" (Numbers 32: 11-13).
In one generation, two people chose to follow God, lived and experienced His blessing; in the very same generation the others chose not to, died and failed to experience blessing.
Fast forward to Jesus’ death and resurrection, and we have complete freedom to follow God and experience true life. In Galatians 5:1, the Apostle Paul says to the church, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Because Jesus liberated us from sin by becoming that curse for us, we need only choose to live for Him and see any sin cycle of our past broken.
One reason the message of Jesus as the answer to ending generational cycles of sin resonates with me is my own history. I’m not saying that my heritage is all negative – I can think of past decisions that were made which impacted me positively. But, as with many families, there have been sins handed down that I could have inherited – but for the choice that my parents made to end them. Aside from the fact that I am geographically distant from most of my family, I have also seen how my parents’ decision to follow Christ wholeheartedly has detached me and my siblings from the pain and consequences that can come with generational cycles. Through my parents’ example, we were able to learn what it means to follow Jesus for ourselves. Now, God willing, we will have our own posterity that will continue to make the same choice to live in Christ.
As each generation chooses to follow God, He promises this:
“But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children— with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts” (Psalm 103: 17-18).
Some people put a lot of stock in family upbringing or history as the sum of a person’s potential. If a person comes from a “good” family, he or she will be “good”; if a person comes from a “bad” family, they will only make it so far. And some people who have been directly affected by generational cycles feel that they are doomed, or “cursed,” to repeat them.
But, as Scripture shows, in just one generation, things can go from bad to good – or even good to bad. What matters is that, individually, we make the choice to follow Jesus, regardless of our pasts. There may be challenges to breaking generational sin cycles, but because of what Jesus did on the cross, we are able to overcome even the worst of them.
I love testimonies of people in the Body of Christ who are surrounded by familial chaos choosing to break the cycle. I love it when followers of Christ don’t define themselves by the sins of their mother, father, grandparents or great grandparents. I love when we let the truth of God’s Word saturate our minds and fill our hearts, so that we are not conformed to the patterns of our world.
On Resurrection Sunday – and always, let’s remember that Jesus triumphed over sin so that we would not have to wallow in it. There are no familial cycles that have to enslave us. As we choose to break free by the power of the blood that brings light and covers us from all sin when we walk in it, we’ll see even generations after us reap the benefits of freedom in Christ.
You can check out messages from “Out of the Loop” here, or on iTunes, for free (Podcasts > The Bridge DC). There will be a new message of the series each week between now and May 20.
Jesus, thank you for overcoming the grave to give us true life!
"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." ~ Jesus. (John 10:10, NKJV).
Today we just started a series at church called “Out of the Loop,” about breaking “generational cycles” of sin, or detrimental habits that are passed down in families. These are sometimes referred to as “generational curses,” but I have never been comfortable with that terminology (or “theology,” perhaps). As my pastor actually puts it, Jesus Christ became the “curse” for us by dying on the cross, so there is no longer any curse.
Galatians 3:13-14 says, "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: 'Cursed is everyone who is hung on a pole.' He redeemed us in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit."
Because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, we are no longer hopelessly destined to repeat the sins of our forefathers. Christ is the answer to overcoming “hand-me-down” sins: there is no other “secret” or mystery to stopping these cycles. When we choose to follow Him wholeheartedly, the sins of our parents, and their parents, will not determine our destiny.
In Joshua 24, Joshua, who led the Israelites into the Promised Land, said this to them about how to overcome the sins of their parents:
“Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” (vv. 14-15)
In the familiar story of Joshua and Caleb, after God led the Israelites out of Egypt, Moses sent them and ten other men as spies to survey the occupied land of Canaan that God had promised to the Israelites (Numbers 13). Although the 12 agreed that the land was good, flowing “with milk and honey” (v. 27), except for Joshua and Caleb, the others did not believe that they could overtake the land because of the size and strength of the people living there (vv. 28-33). The Israelites decided to listen to the naysayers rather than Joshua and Caleb, even wanting to stone the two to death (Numbers 14: 1- 10).
As a result of that generation's unbelief, they faced God's punishment as the consequence of their sin:
"Because they have not followed me wholeheartedly, not one of the men twenty years old or more who came up out of Egypt will see the land I promised on oath to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob— not one except Caleb son of Jephunneh the Kenizzite and Joshua son of Nun, for they followed the LORD wholeheartedly.’ The LORD’s anger burned against Israel and he made them wander in the desert forty years, until the whole generation of those who had done evil in his sight was gone" (Numbers 32: 11-13).
In one generation, two people chose to follow God, lived and experienced His blessing; in the very same generation the others chose not to, died and failed to experience blessing.
Fast forward to Jesus’ death and resurrection, and we have complete freedom to follow God and experience true life. In Galatians 5:1, the Apostle Paul says to the church, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Because Jesus liberated us from sin by becoming that curse for us, we need only choose to live for Him and see any sin cycle of our past broken.
One reason the message of Jesus as the answer to ending generational cycles of sin resonates with me is my own history. I’m not saying that my heritage is all negative – I can think of past decisions that were made which impacted me positively. But, as with many families, there have been sins handed down that I could have inherited – but for the choice that my parents made to end them. Aside from the fact that I am geographically distant from most of my family, I have also seen how my parents’ decision to follow Christ wholeheartedly has detached me and my siblings from the pain and consequences that can come with generational cycles. Through my parents’ example, we were able to learn what it means to follow Jesus for ourselves. Now, God willing, we will have our own posterity that will continue to make the same choice to live in Christ.
As each generation chooses to follow God, He promises this:
“But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children— with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts” (Psalm 103: 17-18).
Some people put a lot of stock in family upbringing or history as the sum of a person’s potential. If a person comes from a “good” family, he or she will be “good”; if a person comes from a “bad” family, they will only make it so far. And some people who have been directly affected by generational cycles feel that they are doomed, or “cursed,” to repeat them.
But, as Scripture shows, in just one generation, things can go from bad to good – or even good to bad. What matters is that, individually, we make the choice to follow Jesus, regardless of our pasts. There may be challenges to breaking generational sin cycles, but because of what Jesus did on the cross, we are able to overcome even the worst of them.
I love testimonies of people in the Body of Christ who are surrounded by familial chaos choosing to break the cycle. I love it when followers of Christ don’t define themselves by the sins of their mother, father, grandparents or great grandparents. I love when we let the truth of God’s Word saturate our minds and fill our hearts, so that we are not conformed to the patterns of our world.
On Resurrection Sunday – and always, let’s remember that Jesus triumphed over sin so that we would not have to wallow in it. There are no familial cycles that have to enslave us. As we choose to break free by the power of the blood that brings light and covers us from all sin when we walk in it, we’ll see even generations after us reap the benefits of freedom in Christ.
You can check out messages from “Out of the Loop” here, or on iTunes, for free (Podcasts > The Bridge DC). There will be a new message of the series each week between now and May 20.
Jesus, thank you for overcoming the grave to give us true life!
"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." ~ Jesus. (John 10:10, NKJV).
Friday, April 06, 2012
The Good News
Good Friday is my favorite day of the year to reflect on the Cross. I like to mediate on songs and verses that highlight the wonderful gift of eternal life that was given to us at Golgotha. But I also just like to daydream about the meaning of the Cross. When it’s warm enough, and the tree pollen isn’t thick in the air, on Good Friday I go to my favorite spot in nature to consider Calvary (unfortuantely, not this year!).
There is usually one truth that stands out to me. This year it’s the fact that The Gospel, embodied in the Cross, has brought us the good news of eternal life that we are to share with the whole world.
I love hearing The Gospel described as “the good news.” I think it brings to life just how amazing and significant Jesus’ death was to free us from the bondage of sin. Colossians 2:13-15 says,
What an awesome picture of victory in Jesus!
The Bible refers to The Gospel as “the good news” on several occasions when it was shared by early Christians in the New Testament. The reference that most warms my heart is in the story of Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch in Acts 8.
The Holy Spirit had led Philip down a desert road where he would encounter the eunuch, an important government official who was religious but had not yet heard The Gospel. The eunuch had just gone to Jerusalem to worship, indicating that he believed in the God of the Jews, Yahweh. The Bible Knowledge Commentary, New Testament, p. 374. He had stopped on the road and was reading Scripture aloud, as was customary in the day. He read a prophecy about Jesus’ death in Isaiah 53:7,8.
As Philip approached him, he asked the eunuch if he understood what he was reading (v. 30), to which he replied, “How can I, unless someone explains it to me?” (v. 31). Verse 35 includes the special words: “Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture and told him the good news about Jesus." The Bible says that shortly after Philip explained The Gospel, the eunuch received it and rejoiced (vv. 36-39).
Acts, and the letters to the churches (Epistles) in the New Testament, tell the story of people who were going about their lives as usual when they heard the good news. There was Cornelius in Acts 10, the Italian military officer who was also God fearing. He was introduced to The Gospel by the Apostle Peter, who had to overcome his own prejudice to share it with him. There also was Lydia in Acts 16, a businesswoman who had also been a worshipper of God. And there were people who, in some cases, had settled into married life and then came to trust Christ, while their spouses still had not. And we cannot forget the Apostle Paul, who was going about persecuting Christians when he encountered God – and his eyes were opened to the good news.
The converts in the early church in many ways represent us. At the Holy Spirit’s direction, someone told these people in various walks of life about the message of the cross, and, at the Spirit’s leading, they believed – just like someone had to tell us the good news so we could believe.
And in Scripture we read about the challenges and triumphs the early church had as they learned what it meant to follow Jesus daily after conversion. Because of the good news, they could experience the life change found only in Jesus – and we can experience the same difference today.
The cross is a gift that we are meant to keep sharing! Just as followers of Christ in the New Testament spread the good news to whole world, so we, as little Christs, are commanded to do the same.
There are so many people out there, going about life as usual, whom God wants to transform with the power of The Gospel. He wants us to proclaim it to our coworkers, classmates, friends, family – even strangers! He wants them to know that, while they were still sinners, Christ died for them.
Over the last couple years God has really been convicting me to share my faith more. I’ll have to do a full entry another day about how God is working on me in this area, but on this Good Friday I can say that I am becoming obsessed with seizing the opportunities we get every day to voice the good news.
I just finished listening to the audio version of the book- and Movement, called “I am Second,” which tells the stories of how ordinary people (though some famous) gave their lives to Christ and have experienced abundant life in Jesus by putting Him at the center of their lives. I want to see these changes happen in people around me, too!
The Gospel – the Cross – is good, good news – the BEST news. So good that we should never keep it to ourselves.
There is usually one truth that stands out to me. This year it’s the fact that The Gospel, embodied in the Cross, has brought us the good news of eternal life that we are to share with the whole world.
I love hearing The Gospel described as “the good news.” I think it brings to life just how amazing and significant Jesus’ death was to free us from the bondage of sin. Colossians 2:13-15 says,
When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.
What an awesome picture of victory in Jesus!
The Bible refers to The Gospel as “the good news” on several occasions when it was shared by early Christians in the New Testament. The reference that most warms my heart is in the story of Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch in Acts 8.
The Holy Spirit had led Philip down a desert road where he would encounter the eunuch, an important government official who was religious but had not yet heard The Gospel. The eunuch had just gone to Jerusalem to worship, indicating that he believed in the God of the Jews, Yahweh. The Bible Knowledge Commentary, New Testament, p. 374. He had stopped on the road and was reading Scripture aloud, as was customary in the day. He read a prophecy about Jesus’ death in Isaiah 53:7,8.
As Philip approached him, he asked the eunuch if he understood what he was reading (v. 30), to which he replied, “How can I, unless someone explains it to me?” (v. 31). Verse 35 includes the special words: “Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture and told him the good news about Jesus." The Bible says that shortly after Philip explained The Gospel, the eunuch received it and rejoiced (vv. 36-39).
Acts, and the letters to the churches (Epistles) in the New Testament, tell the story of people who were going about their lives as usual when they heard the good news. There was Cornelius in Acts 10, the Italian military officer who was also God fearing. He was introduced to The Gospel by the Apostle Peter, who had to overcome his own prejudice to share it with him. There also was Lydia in Acts 16, a businesswoman who had also been a worshipper of God. And there were people who, in some cases, had settled into married life and then came to trust Christ, while their spouses still had not. And we cannot forget the Apostle Paul, who was going about persecuting Christians when he encountered God – and his eyes were opened to the good news.
The converts in the early church in many ways represent us. At the Holy Spirit’s direction, someone told these people in various walks of life about the message of the cross, and, at the Spirit’s leading, they believed – just like someone had to tell us the good news so we could believe.
And in Scripture we read about the challenges and triumphs the early church had as they learned what it meant to follow Jesus daily after conversion. Because of the good news, they could experience the life change found only in Jesus – and we can experience the same difference today.
The cross is a gift that we are meant to keep sharing! Just as followers of Christ in the New Testament spread the good news to whole world, so we, as little Christs, are commanded to do the same.
There are so many people out there, going about life as usual, whom God wants to transform with the power of The Gospel. He wants us to proclaim it to our coworkers, classmates, friends, family – even strangers! He wants them to know that, while they were still sinners, Christ died for them.
Over the last couple years God has really been convicting me to share my faith more. I’ll have to do a full entry another day about how God is working on me in this area, but on this Good Friday I can say that I am becoming obsessed with seizing the opportunities we get every day to voice the good news.
I just finished listening to the audio version of the book- and Movement, called “I am Second,” which tells the stories of how ordinary people (though some famous) gave their lives to Christ and have experienced abundant life in Jesus by putting Him at the center of their lives. I want to see these changes happen in people around me, too!
The Gospel – the Cross – is good, good news – the BEST news. So good that we should never keep it to ourselves.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
GOODIES
I just wanted to pass on a few good resources that I’ve been meditating on recently...
“LOVE BIRDS”
This is a 5-part message series from my pastor on pitfalls in marriage that both married and single people should avoid. The premise is that two people who were originally “love birds” can enter a marriage and become “angry birds.” He addresses 15 landmines, or pitfalls, such as the Desperation, Finance and Romance Traps, and provides practical, godly solutions for avoiding or overcoming each. The series offers hope for married and single people alike.
"Love Birds," which we just ended this past Sunday, has been loads of fun at our church too – we had a set design based on the popular “Angry Birds” game - complete with game characters, and we had people dressed up in angry bird costumes (I personally had never played the game – I generally don’t do games – but it was cool learning about it through planning for the series with our creative team!).
Both the sermon notes and the messages are available here. Or, you can get the sermons on iTunes, Podcasts > The Bridge DC > Love Birds, Parts 1-5.
“WORSHIP,” PART 5
This is a great message on worship from Miles McPherson, Pastor of The Rock Church in San Diego. I like the whole five-part series, but for me this message in particular, "Worship as a Weapon," really captured the meaning of exalting God. I think it’s especially useful for evaluating whether we are truly, authentically worshipping God for who He is.
You can access the Part 5 message here and the whole series here, or on iTunes, Podcasts > The Rock Church - Weekend Messages (Miles McPherson) > Worship.
"GREY MATTER," PART 2
Another message series, this one from Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church on what to do in situations when the voice of God does not seem clear. This never ceases to be a hot topic in Christian circles! Another very practical message. It's titled "Beat the Devil...Meet the Press" (you'll have to listen to get it, lol). You can do so here, or download on iTunes, Podcasts > Elevation Church: Charlotte, NC > Grey Matter, Part 2.
JAMIE GRACE CD
I’ve been killing this CD called One Song at a Time by contemporary Christian artist Jamie Grace. I saw it for months at the Christian bookstore before I finally decided to get it, and I’m glad I did!
One Song at a Time is comprised of catchy songs on themes such as loving God and others, identity and self worth, and waiting. I am no musician, but from what I gather, her sound can be described as pop-folk-soul. Right now my favorite tracks are “Show Jesus” (although I take slight issue with one line), on doing just that, and "You Lead," about trusting God with your life. I also give a nod to “God Girl” for my teen girls group (it has a timely “facebook” reference in particular!). The song “Hold Me” (featuring Toby Mac, for those familiar), is also a hit on Christian charts.
MUNCH!
Colossians 3:2 says that we should set our minds on things above, not on earthly things. Thank God for the many sweet ways that we can digest His truth!
“LOVE BIRDS”
This is a 5-part message series from my pastor on pitfalls in marriage that both married and single people should avoid. The premise is that two people who were originally “love birds” can enter a marriage and become “angry birds.” He addresses 15 landmines, or pitfalls, such as the Desperation, Finance and Romance Traps, and provides practical, godly solutions for avoiding or overcoming each. The series offers hope for married and single people alike.
"Love Birds," which we just ended this past Sunday, has been loads of fun at our church too – we had a set design based on the popular “Angry Birds” game - complete with game characters, and we had people dressed up in angry bird costumes (I personally had never played the game – I generally don’t do games – but it was cool learning about it through planning for the series with our creative team!).
Both the sermon notes and the messages are available here. Or, you can get the sermons on iTunes, Podcasts > The Bridge DC > Love Birds, Parts 1-5.
“WORSHIP,” PART 5
This is a great message on worship from Miles McPherson, Pastor of The Rock Church in San Diego. I like the whole five-part series, but for me this message in particular, "Worship as a Weapon," really captured the meaning of exalting God. I think it’s especially useful for evaluating whether we are truly, authentically worshipping God for who He is.
You can access the Part 5 message here and the whole series here, or on iTunes, Podcasts > The Rock Church - Weekend Messages (Miles McPherson) > Worship.
"GREY MATTER," PART 2
Another message series, this one from Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church on what to do in situations when the voice of God does not seem clear. This never ceases to be a hot topic in Christian circles! Another very practical message. It's titled "Beat the Devil...Meet the Press" (you'll have to listen to get it, lol). You can do so here, or download on iTunes, Podcasts > Elevation Church: Charlotte, NC > Grey Matter, Part 2.
JAMIE GRACE CD
I’ve been killing this CD called One Song at a Time by contemporary Christian artist Jamie Grace. I saw it for months at the Christian bookstore before I finally decided to get it, and I’m glad I did!
One Song at a Time is comprised of catchy songs on themes such as loving God and others, identity and self worth, and waiting. I am no musician, but from what I gather, her sound can be described as pop-folk-soul. Right now my favorite tracks are “Show Jesus” (although I take slight issue with one line), on doing just that, and "You Lead," about trusting God with your life. I also give a nod to “God Girl” for my teen girls group (it has a timely “facebook” reference in particular!). The song “Hold Me” (featuring Toby Mac, for those familiar), is also a hit on Christian charts.
MUNCH!
Colossians 3:2 says that we should set our minds on things above, not on earthly things. Thank God for the many sweet ways that we can digest His truth!
Friday, March 02, 2012
THE KISS
I've been having a lot of conversations with other Christians about kissing recently. How it fits into setting boundaries in romantic relationships. The one that most inspired this entry was a discussion about a couple in the news who saved the very first kiss that either had ever had for marriage.
You may have seen the kiss. It had originally aired sometime in late 2011 advertising the TLC show Virgin Diaries. Apparently the kiss spread on YouTube and was reported in the news, although I had missed it.
In our conversation, some had commented that the kiss was quite unattractive, sloppy and inappropriate. I learned that the couple were lampooned for the display. In the headlines, the keyword for the kiss was "awkward."
Without having seen the kiss (which I was quick to admit), I defended the couple's right to express themselves with an unattractive and sloppy kiss as an appropriate display. I noted that it would not be abnormal for two people who had never locked lips not to look good doing so. Also, not knowing their theology, I could not speak to their motivation, but I did think of it as a bold, counter cultural way to take a stand for their values - and likely biblical purity.
I did later see the kiss - and an interview with the couple responding to buzz over it. I can admit that the kiss was not an attractive sight to behold. But I could still stand by my comment that they were not inappropriate for having it.
A highlight from the interview with the couple was their comment that on some level they were surprised at the public response to their kiss when, in fact, they were aware of people all over who were making the same choice. I immediately thought of Worth the Wait Revolution and the fact that so many people who are part of the revolution had made the commitment not to kiss anyone again until their wedding day also, even if they had kissed others in the past. Worth the Wait is part of a movement in which Christians specifically are taking a radical stance to live purity in a way that the rest of the world - and at times other Christians - just can't understand.
I also couldn't help but reflect on my story. At 26, I made a commitment to save all my kisses for marriage. I've spoken some on this blog about why I pursue purity, and specifically why anyone would possibly save kissing for marriage, but I have never devoted an entire entry to “Why I Believe in Saving Kissing for Marriage.” This is that entry.
Heading There
I never set out on my purity journey declaring that I wanted to save kissing for marriage. As I’ve said before, although I first made a commitment to purity in junior high -- and believed that a kiss should be “more special” than people often made it out to be, I still planned to do it before marriage.
By the time I had spent a couple years in college, however, and had a few encounters where I had the opportunity to kiss guys but chose to pull away, I realized I only wanted to kiss after at least a few months of dating a guy who fit my God-given vision for a mate. For the next few years after, “I’m not kissing until I’m in a committed, God-honoring relationship” pretty much became my line.
Deciding.
My decision to save all my kisses for marriage happened in late 2008. That also was the year that I became affiliated with Worth the Wait. About that time, and into the next year, I spent time really asking God to give me a deeper understanding of purity. In particular, there are three reflections (with several “sub reflections,” lol) that compelled me to make the commitment, which I’ll share.
No In Between
First, I came to understand that the only relationship I had ever wanted was one leading to marriage for God's glory, and I was only willing to date guys to whom I could be married. I wasn't compelled to be in a relationship for companionship, happiness, or so I could experience physical pleasure. Granted, those were all things I wanted in a marriage, but they had never been worth sacrificing God's plans for me - which was why in the past I was never able to sacrifice my vision to date someone who did not meet the standard.
I also was reminded of the vision God had already given me, which I was waiting for: A man who shared my spiritual convictions and beliefs, was radically committed to Jesus and showed unconditional love. A man with whom I could have a companionship with mutual challenging and encouragement to be more like Jesus. The kind of man whose spiritual judgment I could trust to raise our children to know the Word of God, love God, and to be even more whole-hearted ambassadors for Jesus than ourselves. The man who understood God's design for marriage – and could be committed to the kind of marriage that others would be able to look at and give God glory.
I knew that, until that day, in the waiting and uncertainty, I did not want to be detoured by the dangers that can come when physical lines are ridden or crossed in dating. I also knew that interaction before marriage establishes the direction for the marriage. I truly came to believe that I am so dependent on God for a wonderful marriage that I did not want any interaction with my future husband before marriage to add any unnecessary challenges to living matrimony for His glory. I had seen all the pitfalls that often came with kissing – and other like contact – and I was just not willing to risk falling into them. Refraining from kissing would be one of a few powerful ways to avoid them.
His Honor, His Plan
Related to that, I also wanted to make the commitment not to kiss in full obedience to God. I reflected on a common instruction from Christian leaders that a dating couple should set physical boundaries in their relationship based on what the "weaker” person can handle. For example, if one party cannot handle kissing without wanting to go any farther but the other can, there should be no kissing, but if both can handle kissing, kissing on some level is okay; if anyone cannot handle holding hands, even that should be off limits.
While I appreciate that direction for the fact that it aligns with the principle that we should base our standards on what will honor God rather than what the world says is "no big deal," I also felt that it presented a problem: in order to know where your boundary is, you have to come at least somewhat close to crossing it.
Despite the fact that I had never kissed anyone, I had experienced being aroused by someone else without having touched that person. I think arousal is a natural part of being attracted to someone else - in fact, I think it's fair to say that arousal is what leads to physicality. However, I had no idea how aroused I could possibly get without acting on my arousal. Perhaps I could be okay kissing someone else and not going any farther, but perhaps I would not be.
‘Not Even A Hint’
Scripture also came to mind as I thought about the “weaker party” instruction and where to draw the line. Ephesians 5:3 says, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”
Not even a hint – that’s a pretty high standard! What I took from the passage was that I should avoid putting myself in any situation that could even sorta-kinda seem impure. Being honest with myself, I had looked forward to kissing someone else in dating to satisfy my flesh rather than as an ingredient for cultivating a God-honoring relationship. And with the standard that there should not even be a hint of sexual immorality, I decided I did not want to take the chance of dishonoring God in kissing. Perhaps I could avoid dishonoring God doing it at least some of the time – but I could not say that I would always be seeking to honor God by kissing. With that realized, I decided to give up the idea of doing so before marriage.
God’s Will
The conviction through the living, active and powerful Word of God did not stop there. I also peeped 1 Thessalonians 4: 3-8:
Further, the passage contrasts the sexual purity that is supposed to define us with the impurity that should not. God’s people are to conduct themselves in a way that is “holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God” (vv. 4-5). In other words, when we engage in sexual immorality, we’re not being the people God set us apart to be. When Christians fall into sexual sin, we are actually having an identity crisis!
Not only that, we don’t just pursue purity for our own gain, but also so we can help our brothers and sisters in Christ live out God’s will for their lives ( see v. 6). That means that even a kiss should be with the intent to build up our brother or sister in the Lord (which also assumes that Christians are dating Christians!). That really narrows what kind of kissing, if any, is acceptable!
The passage also says that there is a price for walking into sexual immorality (see v. 6). Proverbs 14:12 and Proverbs 16:25 also both say, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.” That’s the exact same verse, repeated twice in Scripture! “Death” can be in the most literal sense, that of our physical bodies at the end of life on earth, but it can also be death of something while we are still living, such as a relationship, desire, plan or blessing. Because sexual immorality is not in God’s design for us, when we engage in it we face consequences of death that speak for themselves. We trade momentary pleasure for lasting pain.
But the good news is that there is no penalty for setting safeguards for avoiding “even a hint” of sexual immorality; in fact, as we pursue controlling our bodies in a way that is holy and honorable, we experience the life that the Creator of the Universe desires for us. In sharp context, if I choose not to kiss although I could possibly handle kissing, I lose nothing – in fact, I gain! But where I choose to kiss where I might fall into sexual immorality – i.e., a “hint” of it or more, I can lose much!
Amid the many truths in 1 Thessalonians 4: 3-8, I think the greatest is found in verse 8: “Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.” That’s the jugular! By Christians not pursing purity, we are actually blatantly rejecting the will of God – i.e., sinning!
Verse 8 is also a reminder that should help us be up for the challenge of pursuing purity: we are only enabled to live it through His Spirit. Often we do not even think of making commitments such as not kissing because we think we can’t handle them – but the truth is that it’s not about us. Paul said in Galatians 5:1, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Because of Jesus Christ's death and resurrection, and Him sending the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, to indwell believers, we do not have to be a slave to our sexual desires. Instead, we are free to live in the absolute purity to which we are called – and experience full life in Christ, without any bondage to sexual sin!
His Design
I also decided to make the commitment not to kiss as I came to understand God's design for sex better. Among the things I did to embrace God’s plan for sex while also maintaining purity was read Song of Songs, which I also later blogged through. Studying this book really helped me understand even more that sex was designed by God, belongs to God and is meant for the context of marriage, between one man and one woman.
Further, within that framework, the physical expressions done before sex – such as passionate kissing, caressing, foreplay – are meant to lead to one thing – S-E-X!!! Dr. Lindsay Marsh, founder of Worth the Wait Revolution, puts it in a way that helped open my eyes. The gist of what she says is that God did not design us to “start and stop” romantic touch. Touching one part there and another there was meant stimulate us in preparation for sex. As a result, when people say that sex “just happened” unplanned after engaging in physical contact while dating, that is absolutely right – and God meant for it to be that way! That is why not setting serious physical boundaries in dating is so deceptive and destructive!
Additionally, from studying Song of Songs I was struck by the fact that sex is meant to be undertaken, between a married man and woman, uninhibited. However, as a result of sexual sin, we have created a host of hang-ups that are not supposed to accompany sex. Particularly, in the Body of Christ one result has been to turn sex into something “dirty” and “shameful” that we don’t talk about “lest we be tarnished,” as I said in a previous entry.
The world has played off of the fact that Christians, who actually have The Guidebook for great sex in the Word of God, have made it a topic to avoid. Society’s false panacea has become a “sexual freedom” that calls for exploration of sex outside of God’s boundaries of marriage, be it in a “committed” non-marital relationship or between two otherwise “consenting adults” – or even through “self exploration.”
As a result of our human distortions, even people who pursue purity in what was believed to be a completely biblical context may not have not been immune to the idea after marriage that sex is a shameful thing. However, God intended us to have a healthy view of it – the one established in His Word. By learning about it while embracing standards in pre-marital romantic relationships that give us no regrets, we’re much closer to approaching it the way He desires when all the clothes do come off on the wedding night (and not before)!
Response
As I reflect on what God intended for sex to be, I can’t help but worship Him. An awesome message I listened to recently reminded me that worship is a right response to recognition of God’s character. When I think about the way that He designed sex, I am so humbled. And when we worship God, we offer our bodies as living sacrifices to Him. I am compelled to offer my kisses only to my husband as an act of worship to God in response to Him as the author of romance.
Further, I am compelled to save all my kisses for my husband because I WANT him to have them! Often, the world – and some Christians – think that’s such a crazy, “asexual” thing to do. But as I’ve established, it has everything to do with the Spirit in me, the God who created me, who has given me His divine power to do what seems impossible to man. I love what David said of God in Psalm 18: 29: “ With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.” In other words, that of the Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:13, “ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I want my husband to comprehend both how much I loved him before I knew him, and how God can give us the strength to do anything together that He calls us to – sex and beyond!
Questions
A curious question that often comes with making a commitment not to kiss without having previously done so is, “what if your spouse doesn’t have their very first kiss to give you?” To me that matters not, because he will have our first kiss to give me! The Bible says in 1 John 1:9 that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive them, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. That goes for any hints of sexual immorality – and anything greater than a hint!
Further, refraining from kissing is not the only way to avoid falling into sexual sin, which includes even impure thoughts. While I choose not to kiss, I still at times fall short of God’s standard for sexual purity, and when I do, I ask God to forgive me, and then I accept that forgiveness and experience change. None of us is beyond His grace.
Never Kiss (Outside Marriage)?
So...do I think kissing before marriage is wrong in all circumstances? No... (dot, dot, dot). BUT, I do believe that, based on the biblical standard that there should not even be a hint of sexual immortality, passionate kissing (which I would define as a kiss beyond a second or two) cannot be justified. However, neither can even a peck if it is not done in all holiness.
In some circumstances, however, I think just a peck, and nothing more, can be a quick sign of affection for another like a hug that does not cross a line into impurity – although even a hug can be done in impurity. In other words (as noted in the “weaker party” instruction mentioned earlier), whatever causes us to stumble should be avoided no matter how “benign” it may seem.
So, I believe, based on Scripture, that if a dating Christian couple is going to kiss at all, (a) their motives must always be pure; (b) they must never go farther than the point to which they agreed, and that point should not be more than a quick kiss and (c) they must be willing to change their agreed boundary whenever necessary to avoid impurity (as must be done with other physical contact, even when a couple chooses not to kiss)! That’s a pretty lofty burden in my mind – one I personally do not want! Also, as I said before, the love of Christ - and my love for my future husband - compels me to make that choice (and somehow, I am sure that neither God nor my man will have a problem with that!). However, if you are certain, without any self deception, that you can hold the standard described in purity, and feel compelled to kiss in all godliness, purity and absolute holiness – then do it in freedom – and showing honor – to God!
On Discernment
God’s Word teaches us that it is essential to have godly wisdom. Having it in the area of purity is no exception. Proverbs 4:7 is so good I think it requires several versions:
If we want to know what God says about purity and be able to independently apply it to our lives, we have to both gain that knowledge from His Word and actively seek to live by it. None of us can sustain purity simply by what our pastors or church say we should do, the advice of “more spiritual” friends, our family, Christian books – all believers in Christ must possess biblical wisdom – at all costs. And, based on the Word of God, having biblical wisdom is the difference between life and death.
Further, based on the Word of God, the key to a God-honoring dating relationship – and a great marriage – is not personal experience, but godly wisdom. That means that if you possess it – even never having “practiced” physical contact in a dating relationship such as kissing, God will show you how to have a physical relationship in marriage that honors Him and is enjoyable – in His timing and way!
Too often, in the area of sexual purity the body of Christ has made experience a kind of god; in order for us to realize that God’s way for sex is better, we often wait until we experience the consequences of relationships dishonoring to God to come back to what He already said about it long ago. But God gave us a guide in His Word so we would not have to go there! Yes, God turns even the greatest mistakes of those who love Him for our good and we are forgiven when we ask, without condemnation in Christ. But if we follow His Word, we have the wisdom for establishing boundaries that may seem crazy to the world but, in actuality, free us from shame and regret – and help us live the full life He intended for us!
Need wisdom to conceive of – and then learn to live – sexual purity? Ask for it! God promises in His Word that if we lack wisdom but ask for it, without doubting, He will give it to us liberally, without reproach. It’s one of those prayer requests that we don’t have to wonder whether He’ll answer with yes. I love those! Seek Him for purity with all your heart. He’s already promised to hear you!
Epilogue (From the PuriDictionary)
"The Kiss"
Pronunciation: [unstressed before a consonant thuh; kis]
Definite article; noun
Definition.
1. The first time that two people lock lips with each other, on their wedding day.
And, oh yeah, God doesn’t care if it looks sloppy. To Him it is just perfect.
You may have seen the kiss. It had originally aired sometime in late 2011 advertising the TLC show Virgin Diaries. Apparently the kiss spread on YouTube and was reported in the news, although I had missed it.
In our conversation, some had commented that the kiss was quite unattractive, sloppy and inappropriate. I learned that the couple were lampooned for the display. In the headlines, the keyword for the kiss was "awkward."
Without having seen the kiss (which I was quick to admit), I defended the couple's right to express themselves with an unattractive and sloppy kiss as an appropriate display. I noted that it would not be abnormal for two people who had never locked lips not to look good doing so. Also, not knowing their theology, I could not speak to their motivation, but I did think of it as a bold, counter cultural way to take a stand for their values - and likely biblical purity.
I did later see the kiss - and an interview with the couple responding to buzz over it. I can admit that the kiss was not an attractive sight to behold. But I could still stand by my comment that they were not inappropriate for having it.
A highlight from the interview with the couple was their comment that on some level they were surprised at the public response to their kiss when, in fact, they were aware of people all over who were making the same choice. I immediately thought of Worth the Wait Revolution and the fact that so many people who are part of the revolution had made the commitment not to kiss anyone again until their wedding day also, even if they had kissed others in the past. Worth the Wait is part of a movement in which Christians specifically are taking a radical stance to live purity in a way that the rest of the world - and at times other Christians - just can't understand.
I also couldn't help but reflect on my story. At 26, I made a commitment to save all my kisses for marriage. I've spoken some on this blog about why I pursue purity, and specifically why anyone would possibly save kissing for marriage, but I have never devoted an entire entry to “Why I Believe in Saving Kissing for Marriage.” This is that entry.
Heading There
I never set out on my purity journey declaring that I wanted to save kissing for marriage. As I’ve said before, although I first made a commitment to purity in junior high -- and believed that a kiss should be “more special” than people often made it out to be, I still planned to do it before marriage.
By the time I had spent a couple years in college, however, and had a few encounters where I had the opportunity to kiss guys but chose to pull away, I realized I only wanted to kiss after at least a few months of dating a guy who fit my God-given vision for a mate. For the next few years after, “I’m not kissing until I’m in a committed, God-honoring relationship” pretty much became my line.
Deciding.
My decision to save all my kisses for marriage happened in late 2008. That also was the year that I became affiliated with Worth the Wait. About that time, and into the next year, I spent time really asking God to give me a deeper understanding of purity. In particular, there are three reflections (with several “sub reflections,” lol) that compelled me to make the commitment, which I’ll share.
No In Between
First, I came to understand that the only relationship I had ever wanted was one leading to marriage for God's glory, and I was only willing to date guys to whom I could be married. I wasn't compelled to be in a relationship for companionship, happiness, or so I could experience physical pleasure. Granted, those were all things I wanted in a marriage, but they had never been worth sacrificing God's plans for me - which was why in the past I was never able to sacrifice my vision to date someone who did not meet the standard.
I also was reminded of the vision God had already given me, which I was waiting for: A man who shared my spiritual convictions and beliefs, was radically committed to Jesus and showed unconditional love. A man with whom I could have a companionship with mutual challenging and encouragement to be more like Jesus. The kind of man whose spiritual judgment I could trust to raise our children to know the Word of God, love God, and to be even more whole-hearted ambassadors for Jesus than ourselves. The man who understood God's design for marriage – and could be committed to the kind of marriage that others would be able to look at and give God glory.
I knew that, until that day, in the waiting and uncertainty, I did not want to be detoured by the dangers that can come when physical lines are ridden or crossed in dating. I also knew that interaction before marriage establishes the direction for the marriage. I truly came to believe that I am so dependent on God for a wonderful marriage that I did not want any interaction with my future husband before marriage to add any unnecessary challenges to living matrimony for His glory. I had seen all the pitfalls that often came with kissing – and other like contact – and I was just not willing to risk falling into them. Refraining from kissing would be one of a few powerful ways to avoid them.
His Honor, His Plan
Related to that, I also wanted to make the commitment not to kiss in full obedience to God. I reflected on a common instruction from Christian leaders that a dating couple should set physical boundaries in their relationship based on what the "weaker” person can handle. For example, if one party cannot handle kissing without wanting to go any farther but the other can, there should be no kissing, but if both can handle kissing, kissing on some level is okay; if anyone cannot handle holding hands, even that should be off limits.
While I appreciate that direction for the fact that it aligns with the principle that we should base our standards on what will honor God rather than what the world says is "no big deal," I also felt that it presented a problem: in order to know where your boundary is, you have to come at least somewhat close to crossing it.
Despite the fact that I had never kissed anyone, I had experienced being aroused by someone else without having touched that person. I think arousal is a natural part of being attracted to someone else - in fact, I think it's fair to say that arousal is what leads to physicality. However, I had no idea how aroused I could possibly get without acting on my arousal. Perhaps I could be okay kissing someone else and not going any farther, but perhaps I would not be.
‘Not Even A Hint’
Scripture also came to mind as I thought about the “weaker party” instruction and where to draw the line. Ephesians 5:3 says, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”
Not even a hint – that’s a pretty high standard! What I took from the passage was that I should avoid putting myself in any situation that could even sorta-kinda seem impure. Being honest with myself, I had looked forward to kissing someone else in dating to satisfy my flesh rather than as an ingredient for cultivating a God-honoring relationship. And with the standard that there should not even be a hint of sexual immorality, I decided I did not want to take the chance of dishonoring God in kissing. Perhaps I could avoid dishonoring God doing it at least some of the time – but I could not say that I would always be seeking to honor God by kissing. With that realized, I decided to give up the idea of doing so before marriage.
God’s Will
The conviction through the living, active and powerful Word of God did not stop there. I also peeped 1 Thessalonians 4: 3-8:
3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8 Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.This passage is loaded with so much truth! First, I was hit by the fact that God considers avoiding sexual immorality – of any kind – as part of being sanctified, and that it is His will for believers. And that’s a collective will! We spend so much time asking God what to do in specific situations – how we should choose our career; whom we should marry; where we should live; the list goes on – but sexual purity is one of those things that we don’t even have to pray about whether to embrace – God’s already said it’s His plan for all who believe!
Further, the passage contrasts the sexual purity that is supposed to define us with the impurity that should not. God’s people are to conduct themselves in a way that is “holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God” (vv. 4-5). In other words, when we engage in sexual immorality, we’re not being the people God set us apart to be. When Christians fall into sexual sin, we are actually having an identity crisis!
Not only that, we don’t just pursue purity for our own gain, but also so we can help our brothers and sisters in Christ live out God’s will for their lives ( see v. 6). That means that even a kiss should be with the intent to build up our brother or sister in the Lord (which also assumes that Christians are dating Christians!). That really narrows what kind of kissing, if any, is acceptable!
The passage also says that there is a price for walking into sexual immorality (see v. 6). Proverbs 14:12 and Proverbs 16:25 also both say, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.” That’s the exact same verse, repeated twice in Scripture! “Death” can be in the most literal sense, that of our physical bodies at the end of life on earth, but it can also be death of something while we are still living, such as a relationship, desire, plan or blessing. Because sexual immorality is not in God’s design for us, when we engage in it we face consequences of death that speak for themselves. We trade momentary pleasure for lasting pain.
But the good news is that there is no penalty for setting safeguards for avoiding “even a hint” of sexual immorality; in fact, as we pursue controlling our bodies in a way that is holy and honorable, we experience the life that the Creator of the Universe desires for us. In sharp context, if I choose not to kiss although I could possibly handle kissing, I lose nothing – in fact, I gain! But where I choose to kiss where I might fall into sexual immorality – i.e., a “hint” of it or more, I can lose much!
Amid the many truths in 1 Thessalonians 4: 3-8, I think the greatest is found in verse 8: “Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.” That’s the jugular! By Christians not pursing purity, we are actually blatantly rejecting the will of God – i.e., sinning!
Verse 8 is also a reminder that should help us be up for the challenge of pursuing purity: we are only enabled to live it through His Spirit. Often we do not even think of making commitments such as not kissing because we think we can’t handle them – but the truth is that it’s not about us. Paul said in Galatians 5:1, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Because of Jesus Christ's death and resurrection, and Him sending the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, to indwell believers, we do not have to be a slave to our sexual desires. Instead, we are free to live in the absolute purity to which we are called – and experience full life in Christ, without any bondage to sexual sin!
His Design
I also decided to make the commitment not to kiss as I came to understand God's design for sex better. Among the things I did to embrace God’s plan for sex while also maintaining purity was read Song of Songs, which I also later blogged through. Studying this book really helped me understand even more that sex was designed by God, belongs to God and is meant for the context of marriage, between one man and one woman.
Further, within that framework, the physical expressions done before sex – such as passionate kissing, caressing, foreplay – are meant to lead to one thing – S-E-X!!! Dr. Lindsay Marsh, founder of Worth the Wait Revolution, puts it in a way that helped open my eyes. The gist of what she says is that God did not design us to “start and stop” romantic touch. Touching one part there and another there was meant stimulate us in preparation for sex. As a result, when people say that sex “just happened” unplanned after engaging in physical contact while dating, that is absolutely right – and God meant for it to be that way! That is why not setting serious physical boundaries in dating is so deceptive and destructive!
Additionally, from studying Song of Songs I was struck by the fact that sex is meant to be undertaken, between a married man and woman, uninhibited. However, as a result of sexual sin, we have created a host of hang-ups that are not supposed to accompany sex. Particularly, in the Body of Christ one result has been to turn sex into something “dirty” and “shameful” that we don’t talk about “lest we be tarnished,” as I said in a previous entry.
The world has played off of the fact that Christians, who actually have The Guidebook for great sex in the Word of God, have made it a topic to avoid. Society’s false panacea has become a “sexual freedom” that calls for exploration of sex outside of God’s boundaries of marriage, be it in a “committed” non-marital relationship or between two otherwise “consenting adults” – or even through “self exploration.”
As a result of our human distortions, even people who pursue purity in what was believed to be a completely biblical context may not have not been immune to the idea after marriage that sex is a shameful thing. However, God intended us to have a healthy view of it – the one established in His Word. By learning about it while embracing standards in pre-marital romantic relationships that give us no regrets, we’re much closer to approaching it the way He desires when all the clothes do come off on the wedding night (and not before)!
Response
As I reflect on what God intended for sex to be, I can’t help but worship Him. An awesome message I listened to recently reminded me that worship is a right response to recognition of God’s character. When I think about the way that He designed sex, I am so humbled. And when we worship God, we offer our bodies as living sacrifices to Him. I am compelled to offer my kisses only to my husband as an act of worship to God in response to Him as the author of romance.
Further, I am compelled to save all my kisses for my husband because I WANT him to have them! Often, the world – and some Christians – think that’s such a crazy, “asexual” thing to do. But as I’ve established, it has everything to do with the Spirit in me, the God who created me, who has given me His divine power to do what seems impossible to man. I love what David said of God in Psalm 18: 29: “ With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.” In other words, that of the Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:13, “ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I want my husband to comprehend both how much I loved him before I knew him, and how God can give us the strength to do anything together that He calls us to – sex and beyond!
Questions
A curious question that often comes with making a commitment not to kiss without having previously done so is, “what if your spouse doesn’t have their very first kiss to give you?” To me that matters not, because he will have our first kiss to give me! The Bible says in 1 John 1:9 that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive them, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. That goes for any hints of sexual immorality – and anything greater than a hint!
Further, refraining from kissing is not the only way to avoid falling into sexual sin, which includes even impure thoughts. While I choose not to kiss, I still at times fall short of God’s standard for sexual purity, and when I do, I ask God to forgive me, and then I accept that forgiveness and experience change. None of us is beyond His grace.
Never Kiss (Outside Marriage)?
So...do I think kissing before marriage is wrong in all circumstances? No... (dot, dot, dot). BUT, I do believe that, based on the biblical standard that there should not even be a hint of sexual immortality, passionate kissing (which I would define as a kiss beyond a second or two) cannot be justified. However, neither can even a peck if it is not done in all holiness.
In some circumstances, however, I think just a peck, and nothing more, can be a quick sign of affection for another like a hug that does not cross a line into impurity – although even a hug can be done in impurity. In other words (as noted in the “weaker party” instruction mentioned earlier), whatever causes us to stumble should be avoided no matter how “benign” it may seem.
So, I believe, based on Scripture, that if a dating Christian couple is going to kiss at all, (a) their motives must always be pure; (b) they must never go farther than the point to which they agreed, and that point should not be more than a quick kiss and (c) they must be willing to change their agreed boundary whenever necessary to avoid impurity (as must be done with other physical contact, even when a couple chooses not to kiss)! That’s a pretty lofty burden in my mind – one I personally do not want! Also, as I said before, the love of Christ - and my love for my future husband - compels me to make that choice (and somehow, I am sure that neither God nor my man will have a problem with that!). However, if you are certain, without any self deception, that you can hold the standard described in purity, and feel compelled to kiss in all godliness, purity and absolute holiness – then do it in freedom – and showing honor – to God!
On Discernment
God’s Word teaches us that it is essential to have godly wisdom. Having it in the area of purity is no exception. Proverbs 4:7 is so good I think it requires several versions:
The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom.Though it cost all you have, get understanding. (NIV)Wisdom is often defined as the application of knowledge. That means it requires two things: knowledge first; application, second. We can only gain biblical wisdom by diving into the Word of God, and then applying it.
Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. (NIV 1984)
The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight. (ESV)
Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding. (NKJV)
Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment. (NLT)
If we want to know what God says about purity and be able to independently apply it to our lives, we have to both gain that knowledge from His Word and actively seek to live by it. None of us can sustain purity simply by what our pastors or church say we should do, the advice of “more spiritual” friends, our family, Christian books – all believers in Christ must possess biblical wisdom – at all costs. And, based on the Word of God, having biblical wisdom is the difference between life and death.
Further, based on the Word of God, the key to a God-honoring dating relationship – and a great marriage – is not personal experience, but godly wisdom. That means that if you possess it – even never having “practiced” physical contact in a dating relationship such as kissing, God will show you how to have a physical relationship in marriage that honors Him and is enjoyable – in His timing and way!
Too often, in the area of sexual purity the body of Christ has made experience a kind of god; in order for us to realize that God’s way for sex is better, we often wait until we experience the consequences of relationships dishonoring to God to come back to what He already said about it long ago. But God gave us a guide in His Word so we would not have to go there! Yes, God turns even the greatest mistakes of those who love Him for our good and we are forgiven when we ask, without condemnation in Christ. But if we follow His Word, we have the wisdom for establishing boundaries that may seem crazy to the world but, in actuality, free us from shame and regret – and help us live the full life He intended for us!
Need wisdom to conceive of – and then learn to live – sexual purity? Ask for it! God promises in His Word that if we lack wisdom but ask for it, without doubting, He will give it to us liberally, without reproach. It’s one of those prayer requests that we don’t have to wonder whether He’ll answer with yes. I love those! Seek Him for purity with all your heart. He’s already promised to hear you!
Epilogue (From the PuriDictionary)
"The Kiss"
Pronunciation: [unstressed before a consonant thuh; kis]
Definite article; noun
Definition.
1. The first time that two people lock lips with each other, on their wedding day.
And, oh yeah, God doesn’t care if it looks sloppy. To Him it is just perfect.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
30. (His Work)
The time: January 2011, last year.
The predicament: mixed emotions.
The reason: my upcoming 29th birthday in early February.
During the last few weeks of being 28, I started thinking about my 30th birthday. It wasn’t all good.
On one hand, I was excited. After all, I hadn’t started a new decade in almost 10 years. I thought about how glad I was that, at 30, I would no longer be lumped with the 20-somethings, especially those in their early 20s, whom I had referred to as “babies” since hitting age 25. I also felt excited that, contrary to my childhood perception, turning 30 in itself did not mean that my head was about to grow silver. Absent an unexpected occurrence, I could look forward to many more years on earth.
On the other hand, I still fought with my teenage perception of what I thought 30 would look like. For example, I remembered attending a Missions conference at 19 and hearing a woman tell her story of waiting until she was 29 to get married. I had remembered thinking, “29, that is so OLD!” And, almost a decade later at 28, with the purity ring on my finger signaling only that I was married to Jesus – a thought that usually engendered positive emotions, at that moment made me wish I had traded it for at least an engagement ring from a mortal man.
But whatever I was feeling, I did not allow myself to dwell on my thoughts. I was determined that I would let God be glorified in my 29th year, and that I would start my 30th decade being excited about what God would be doing in my life.
Several verses came to mind in my late-20s musings, among them part of Paul’s prayer to the Philippians in Chapter 1, verse 6: “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” I was reminded of God’s awesome plans for me, and the fact that no age will ever signify the end of His work in my life. And further, because I had heaven to look forward to, whatever I experienced on earth, the best would truly always be yet to come.
And so I went through 2011, enthused about what God was doing in me at 29, and what He would do at 30. I had a great year really diving into God’s Word in new ways and just giving Him more personal time, which I’ve shared about over the last year. Then, to start 2012, I set aside the first 21 days in a way I had never before – which I will share about at some point.
When my 30th birthday came, two weeks ago, almost to the day, I could truly be energized and celebratory over this new decade of my life. I am confident that God has great designs for me, and that Him accomplishing His purpose in my life is something to anticipate, always! God gave me the blessing of having it on a Saturday, and the chance to celebrate it on a sandy beach in Puerto Rico with great girlfriends!
But as much as I look forward to future, I also still look back on how my past is shaping my future, with so much gratefulness to God. I am so blessed to have accepted Jesus as Savior at about age four, through my parents' instruction (I don’t remember the exact moment, but I know it happened before I started kindergarten at age 5, about the time my family moved to Maryland from down South).
While I can’t recall the date, I do remember The Gospel changing my life at that moment. As a song by this awesome Christian rapper, LeCrae, goes, “The Gospel hit my heart, I guess that’s what they call a heart attack!” I remember knowing then that my life was going to be different because of Jesus. I’ve had the awesome joy of growing closer to Him every year since then.
I am so thankful to my parents for letting the truth of God’s Word be the loudest voice in my life throughout my childhood – and now. And because of what God’s done in my life, I have such a passion to see all the people of God experience the true transformation that comes only through Him at work in us.
I think it’s fitting for me to end this reflection with a chorus from a song I learned as a child that is still relevant at 30, and beyond:
He’s still working on me,
To make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars,
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be;
He’s still working on me.
The predicament: mixed emotions.
The reason: my upcoming 29th birthday in early February.
During the last few weeks of being 28, I started thinking about my 30th birthday. It wasn’t all good.
On one hand, I was excited. After all, I hadn’t started a new decade in almost 10 years. I thought about how glad I was that, at 30, I would no longer be lumped with the 20-somethings, especially those in their early 20s, whom I had referred to as “babies” since hitting age 25. I also felt excited that, contrary to my childhood perception, turning 30 in itself did not mean that my head was about to grow silver. Absent an unexpected occurrence, I could look forward to many more years on earth.
On the other hand, I still fought with my teenage perception of what I thought 30 would look like. For example, I remembered attending a Missions conference at 19 and hearing a woman tell her story of waiting until she was 29 to get married. I had remembered thinking, “29, that is so OLD!” And, almost a decade later at 28, with the purity ring on my finger signaling only that I was married to Jesus – a thought that usually engendered positive emotions, at that moment made me wish I had traded it for at least an engagement ring from a mortal man.
But whatever I was feeling, I did not allow myself to dwell on my thoughts. I was determined that I would let God be glorified in my 29th year, and that I would start my 30th decade being excited about what God would be doing in my life.
Several verses came to mind in my late-20s musings, among them part of Paul’s prayer to the Philippians in Chapter 1, verse 6: “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” I was reminded of God’s awesome plans for me, and the fact that no age will ever signify the end of His work in my life. And further, because I had heaven to look forward to, whatever I experienced on earth, the best would truly always be yet to come.
And so I went through 2011, enthused about what God was doing in me at 29, and what He would do at 30. I had a great year really diving into God’s Word in new ways and just giving Him more personal time, which I’ve shared about over the last year. Then, to start 2012, I set aside the first 21 days in a way I had never before – which I will share about at some point.
When my 30th birthday came, two weeks ago, almost to the day, I could truly be energized and celebratory over this new decade of my life. I am confident that God has great designs for me, and that Him accomplishing His purpose in my life is something to anticipate, always! God gave me the blessing of having it on a Saturday, and the chance to celebrate it on a sandy beach in Puerto Rico with great girlfriends!
But as much as I look forward to future, I also still look back on how my past is shaping my future, with so much gratefulness to God. I am so blessed to have accepted Jesus as Savior at about age four, through my parents' instruction (I don’t remember the exact moment, but I know it happened before I started kindergarten at age 5, about the time my family moved to Maryland from down South).
While I can’t recall the date, I do remember The Gospel changing my life at that moment. As a song by this awesome Christian rapper, LeCrae, goes, “The Gospel hit my heart, I guess that’s what they call a heart attack!” I remember knowing then that my life was going to be different because of Jesus. I’ve had the awesome joy of growing closer to Him every year since then.
I am so thankful to my parents for letting the truth of God’s Word be the loudest voice in my life throughout my childhood – and now. And because of what God’s done in my life, I have such a passion to see all the people of God experience the true transformation that comes only through Him at work in us.
I think it’s fitting for me to end this reflection with a chorus from a song I learned as a child that is still relevant at 30, and beyond:
He’s still working on me,
To make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars,
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be;
He’s still working on me.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Happy New Year! (More Jesus)
Happy New Year!
We’re of course two weeks in, but this is the first time this year - and in a while - that I’ve blogged. I’ve been doing more private reflection and journaling recently. I guess I can call this a "blogging break” of sorts. It’s been refreshing, but now I’m ready to share what God’s been teaching me - and my excitement for 2012!
What I’m most charged about this year is just the chance to get more of Jesus! The last couple months I’ve been meditating on this song, “One Thing Remains,” by this group called Jesus Culture. It’s about God’s unfailing love for us, through every circumstance. Here are a few lines from it:
Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant through the trial and the change
One thing remains...
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me...
Because on and on and on and on it goes
For it overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never ever have to be afraid
One thing remains...
Your love never fails, it never gives up, in never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me
I love the line, “Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me.” It describes so accurately the way God loves us. At times we get frustrated by circumstance, suffer the consequences of our own sin or are just unsure about what God may be doing. Yet somehow, even in those times, He reveals His love to us. In every challenge, big or small, I always feel it, even in pain.
His love also lets me know that I don't have to understand everything that happens in my life - and can't - but in His love, He always knows what is best for me. I came to understand a truth about God sometime in my teens that has been so freeing as an adult: He is less interested in answering our requests (whether yes, no, wait or otherwise) and most interested in making us more like Him through them.
I can remember a request I had my senior year of high school in particular that seems small now, but wasn't then. I recall trying everything to get God to answer yes - going between what I thought was fervent prayer and whining or throwing a pitty party for myself, hoping God would just feel sorry for me and answer yes aready.
I never got what I wanted, but through that experience I learned how to cry out to God in a way that He honors. As I spoke to Him honestly, He directed me to the Psalms, where in many of them David shared the pain he felt at the moment, but always resolved to hope in God. Through digging into the Psalms in that season I learned how to communicate with God in a way I hadn't before. That answer I didn't even ask for was the best thing about my prayers then. Now whenever those same emotions start to well up when I pray, I know how to give them to God in a way that He hears.
Learning that God's love will always give me the best outcome has also made me less concerned with how God answers my requests. Ephesians 6:18 says that we should pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests - and, especially, that we should pray for all the people of God. James 5:16 also says that the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. Yet the Holy Spirit's intercession for us in prayer, which our words can't express, is the greatest comfort that the best outcome will be accomplished - the will of God - even if it isn't what we pray for.
I may never get the physical things that I desire - that house I want, the relationship I want, the job I want - but, as His child, God will always work things out for my good. And, even better, as I pray for His will to be accomplished - over the desired outcome of my requests, He changes my desires to fit with His. My prayers become guided by His ways rather than my own.
God's steady love also teaches us how to love others. A pastor provided one of the most profound and concise definitions of love that I've heard. He says, “love is helping someone else obey God. Period.” It shows how dependent on God we are to love someone else - and the fact that, without a relationship with Him, we are incapable of truly loving others. It is also a challenge to rethink how we claim to love others. If we're saying that we love someone else but ask them to do something that is against God's laws or His will for that person, because of our own desires or otherwise - we aren't helping another obey God, and, in turn, we aren't really loving.
I love seeing examples of God's love in people. When we obey God, He gives us that supernatural ability to love others in the unfailing way that He does. Experiencing that kind of love - from God and others - gives us the confidence to obey God, walk in His purpose for us - and love even more people.
I have many prayers and requests for this new year. I am very excited about turning 30 (19 days and counting!) - and all that I know God wants to do this year in my life, my friends, family, church, the collective Body of Christ, in all our nation and our world. Yet I have no idea how this year will turn out. But I can be confident that His love will never fail, and He will work all things out for His good purpose - even if it's not what I expect or desire. That's why I just want to keep hungering and thirsting after His righteousness, because then I will always be filled.
Praise God that His matchless love is redeemable in 2012 - and beyond. Happy New Year!
We’re of course two weeks in, but this is the first time this year - and in a while - that I’ve blogged. I’ve been doing more private reflection and journaling recently. I guess I can call this a "blogging break” of sorts. It’s been refreshing, but now I’m ready to share what God’s been teaching me - and my excitement for 2012!
What I’m most charged about this year is just the chance to get more of Jesus! The last couple months I’ve been meditating on this song, “One Thing Remains,” by this group called Jesus Culture. It’s about God’s unfailing love for us, through every circumstance. Here are a few lines from it:
Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant through the trial and the change
One thing remains...
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me...
Because on and on and on and on it goes
For it overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never ever have to be afraid
One thing remains...
Your love never fails, it never gives up, in never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me
I love the line, “Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me.” It describes so accurately the way God loves us. At times we get frustrated by circumstance, suffer the consequences of our own sin or are just unsure about what God may be doing. Yet somehow, even in those times, He reveals His love to us. In every challenge, big or small, I always feel it, even in pain.
His love also lets me know that I don't have to understand everything that happens in my life - and can't - but in His love, He always knows what is best for me. I came to understand a truth about God sometime in my teens that has been so freeing as an adult: He is less interested in answering our requests (whether yes, no, wait or otherwise) and most interested in making us more like Him through them.
I can remember a request I had my senior year of high school in particular that seems small now, but wasn't then. I recall trying everything to get God to answer yes - going between what I thought was fervent prayer and whining or throwing a pitty party for myself, hoping God would just feel sorry for me and answer yes aready.
I never got what I wanted, but through that experience I learned how to cry out to God in a way that He honors. As I spoke to Him honestly, He directed me to the Psalms, where in many of them David shared the pain he felt at the moment, but always resolved to hope in God. Through digging into the Psalms in that season I learned how to communicate with God in a way I hadn't before. That answer I didn't even ask for was the best thing about my prayers then. Now whenever those same emotions start to well up when I pray, I know how to give them to God in a way that He hears.
Learning that God's love will always give me the best outcome has also made me less concerned with how God answers my requests. Ephesians 6:18 says that we should pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests - and, especially, that we should pray for all the people of God. James 5:16 also says that the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. Yet the Holy Spirit's intercession for us in prayer, which our words can't express, is the greatest comfort that the best outcome will be accomplished - the will of God - even if it isn't what we pray for.
I may never get the physical things that I desire - that house I want, the relationship I want, the job I want - but, as His child, God will always work things out for my good. And, even better, as I pray for His will to be accomplished - over the desired outcome of my requests, He changes my desires to fit with His. My prayers become guided by His ways rather than my own.
God's steady love also teaches us how to love others. A pastor provided one of the most profound and concise definitions of love that I've heard. He says, “love is helping someone else obey God. Period.” It shows how dependent on God we are to love someone else - and the fact that, without a relationship with Him, we are incapable of truly loving others. It is also a challenge to rethink how we claim to love others. If we're saying that we love someone else but ask them to do something that is against God's laws or His will for that person, because of our own desires or otherwise - we aren't helping another obey God, and, in turn, we aren't really loving.
I love seeing examples of God's love in people. When we obey God, He gives us that supernatural ability to love others in the unfailing way that He does. Experiencing that kind of love - from God and others - gives us the confidence to obey God, walk in His purpose for us - and love even more people.
I have many prayers and requests for this new year. I am very excited about turning 30 (19 days and counting!) - and all that I know God wants to do this year in my life, my friends, family, church, the collective Body of Christ, in all our nation and our world. Yet I have no idea how this year will turn out. But I can be confident that His love will never fail, and He will work all things out for His good purpose - even if it's not what I expect or desire. That's why I just want to keep hungering and thirsting after His righteousness, because then I will always be filled.
Praise God that His matchless love is redeemable in 2012 - and beyond. Happy New Year!
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Wired for Love
I listened to this great message series recently called “Wired for Love.” It’s almost completely explained by the title: it’s about the fact that God has designed, “wired,” us for relationships with others: first with Him, but also one other person in marriage and with other people in our lives such as friends, family and coworkers.
The pastor creatively uses science to explain how God has wired us to form all of these various connections. But he starts with having a relationship with God, from which all other right human relationships flow. He also looks at behaviors – viewing pornography, promiscuity, cheating, manipulating, sexual victimization – that the enemy uses to keep us from experiencing God’s best in all relationships and instead cloud us with guilt, shame, anger, bitterness and fear. He ends with a picture of a romantic relationship that honors God. And during each message he provides solid, biblical relationship advice presented in a very dynamic way! It is very much worth the listen (and so are his other messages)!
As I listened to the series, I could not help but be reminded of a truth about God that blows my mind: the fact that He, the Creator of the big, vast Universe – wants to have a real, personal relationship with me. David sums up how this wonderful knowledge makes me feel in Psalm 8: 3-4:
3 When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
4 what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
human beings that you care for them?
5 You have made them a little lower than the angels
and crowned them with glory and honor.
The more I grow in my relationship with God, the more that I come to understand how awesome it is that He, the Creator of the Universe, loved us so much that He pursued us all the way to the Cross so that we had a way to reach Him, relate to Him personally, despite our sin. The Bible says in John 1 that he came became flesh and dwelled among us. When Jesus was on earth, He had relationships with ordinary people – especially His disciples, who were mostly uneducated and probably even teenagers. And after resurrecting, He left His promised Spirit, through which those simple disciples received power and did extraordinary things for God. Their accounts in the New Testament are not just stories for old times, but living, powerful words that remind us that He continues to use us through our relationships with Him today.
Yet we often take the out stretched, life-giving arms of the God of the Universe for granted, choosing not to relate to Him on His terms, but instead our own. We think we do Him a favor when we go to church, serve on a ministry team or read our Bible every now and then. We get mad at Him for not doing what we want Him to do. But the truth is, He doesn’t even have to deal with us. He’s God – the one who created mountains, plants, animals, light, night, angels, people – everything! He could always be too busy for us. Yet he never is. And He loves us so much and wants to make our lives full because of our relationships with Him.
There are many verses in the Bible that capture God’s story of relating to us since the beginning, but there is one that I rank at or near the very top, from the mouth of Jesus:
10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (NIV)
10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. (NKJV)
Satan, the thief, tries to thwart God’s perfect plans for our relationships by distorting what right relationships look like. And we buy into his lies far too often – just a couple of the ways in how we approach physicality in dating relationships and in how we choose people to date. Yet Jesus always offers us abundant life that wasn’t meant to stop with just life after death, but, more immediately, to give us a marvelous life at present that includes thriving relationships here on earth with Him and others.
Let’s trade Satan’s cheap, junky substitutes for relationships and grow in our relationships with God daily and, in turn, flourish in our relationships with others.
Please check out “Wired for Love!” It’s available on iTunes: Podcasts> Miles McPherson The Rock Church – Weekend Messages. Note it is video only on iTunes. Or, you can get access to mp3 and video versions of the series, and the full message archives here (2011, September 18-October 23. If you click on individual messages you will be directed to a page where you can also get copies of the sermons notes, which he refers to as lesson plans in each of his messages).
Happy listening!
The pastor creatively uses science to explain how God has wired us to form all of these various connections. But he starts with having a relationship with God, from which all other right human relationships flow. He also looks at behaviors – viewing pornography, promiscuity, cheating, manipulating, sexual victimization – that the enemy uses to keep us from experiencing God’s best in all relationships and instead cloud us with guilt, shame, anger, bitterness and fear. He ends with a picture of a romantic relationship that honors God. And during each message he provides solid, biblical relationship advice presented in a very dynamic way! It is very much worth the listen (and so are his other messages)!
As I listened to the series, I could not help but be reminded of a truth about God that blows my mind: the fact that He, the Creator of the big, vast Universe – wants to have a real, personal relationship with me. David sums up how this wonderful knowledge makes me feel in Psalm 8: 3-4:
3 When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
4 what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
human beings that you care for them?
5 You have made them a little lower than the angels
and crowned them with glory and honor.
The more I grow in my relationship with God, the more that I come to understand how awesome it is that He, the Creator of the Universe, loved us so much that He pursued us all the way to the Cross so that we had a way to reach Him, relate to Him personally, despite our sin. The Bible says in John 1 that he came became flesh and dwelled among us. When Jesus was on earth, He had relationships with ordinary people – especially His disciples, who were mostly uneducated and probably even teenagers. And after resurrecting, He left His promised Spirit, through which those simple disciples received power and did extraordinary things for God. Their accounts in the New Testament are not just stories for old times, but living, powerful words that remind us that He continues to use us through our relationships with Him today.
Yet we often take the out stretched, life-giving arms of the God of the Universe for granted, choosing not to relate to Him on His terms, but instead our own. We think we do Him a favor when we go to church, serve on a ministry team or read our Bible every now and then. We get mad at Him for not doing what we want Him to do. But the truth is, He doesn’t even have to deal with us. He’s God – the one who created mountains, plants, animals, light, night, angels, people – everything! He could always be too busy for us. Yet he never is. And He loves us so much and wants to make our lives full because of our relationships with Him.
There are many verses in the Bible that capture God’s story of relating to us since the beginning, but there is one that I rank at or near the very top, from the mouth of Jesus:
10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (NIV)
10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. (NKJV)
Satan, the thief, tries to thwart God’s perfect plans for our relationships by distorting what right relationships look like. And we buy into his lies far too often – just a couple of the ways in how we approach physicality in dating relationships and in how we choose people to date. Yet Jesus always offers us abundant life that wasn’t meant to stop with just life after death, but, more immediately, to give us a marvelous life at present that includes thriving relationships here on earth with Him and others.
Let’s trade Satan’s cheap, junky substitutes for relationships and grow in our relationships with God daily and, in turn, flourish in our relationships with others.
Please check out “Wired for Love!” It’s available on iTunes: Podcasts> Miles McPherson The Rock Church – Weekend Messages. Note it is video only on iTunes. Or, you can get access to mp3 and video versions of the series, and the full message archives here (2011, September 18-October 23. If you click on individual messages you will be directed to a page where you can also get copies of the sermons notes, which he refers to as lesson plans in each of his messages).
Happy listening!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Freedom from Worry (Peace)
God’s been doing something awesome in my life: helping me overcome worry.
As I’ve shared before, for me worry comes in the form of thinking a million what ifs about a situation, surmising from A to Z without skipping any letters, I’ve put it before. At times I’ll say I’ve committed something to God, but in my mind I'll still wonder about all the possible outcomes, negative and positive, rather than just trust that God will accomplish His purpose - the best outcome.
Yet I recently noticed that for the last few months, I haven’t worried much about anything. Not that I haven’t had cares, but I’ve seen God take them away as I’ve meditated on His precepts more. I realized this a few weeks ago as I read Psalm 131, a short but powerful Psalm of David:
1 My heart is not proud, LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
2 But I have calmed and quieted myself,
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content.
3 Israel, put your hope in the LORD
both now and forevermore.
I was especially struck by the second part of verse 1 to the first part of verse 2: “I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have calmed and quieted myself…” Then I focused on the refrain in verse 3: “Israel put your hope in the LORD, both now and forevermore.” As my devotional book also pointed out, rather than worrying himself with the burdens of life – including the “what ifs,” David recognized that they were beyond his control, “great matters or things too wonderful" (v.1). He let those cares go, putting them into the hands of the Maker. And he could urge Israel to do the same (v.3).
The mention of Israel, one word, is so striking here. The Nation of Israel, as we often hear, is the descendants of Abraham and God’s chosen people, through whom He sent Jesus. Because of Christ we have that same heritage. As I read “Israel” in this context, a verse from the New Testament came to mind about the status of believers in Christ, written by the apostle Paul to the Gentile Christians in Galatia:
“There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.” (Galatians 3:28)
Romans 8:16-18 also says this about the nature of our status as heirs when we receive Christ:
“16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
Present Suffering and Future Glory
18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”
By receiving Jesus, we’ve become “co-heirs” – joint heirs – with Christ, through which, ultimately, we will not just see, but experience, His glory. We have that promise as children of God despite the challenges we may face in this life.
So, again, about this life? As David points out in Psalm 131, we don’t have to dwell on the things we experience or hear about that we can’t explain. Instead, we should put them in the care of The One who can explain them. It is only in heaven that we will have full knowledge when God reveals it to us. We are best off entrusting our worries to Him.
Reading Psalm 131, I was reminded how God has been using increases in my time in His Word, praising Him through song and listening to sermon podcasts to renew my mind and turn my focus to Him. I’ve been so much busier meditating on the things of God that I haven’t had time to worry. That’s the way God works – minute by minute – hour by hour - day by day – until we look back months or years later and are able to marvel on how He's been changing us. What an awesome God we call on!
Psalm 131 also reminded me of ”Unpredicatable,” a song by Francesca Battistelli, a contemporary Christian artist, that puts David’s words in a modern prayer. In the song she talks about how in life we often wonder what God’s doing or what His plans are, but in those moments she prays for God to give her His peace: “So help me to rest in the mystery of what I can’t understand...”
I love those words! As in Psalm 131, she recognizes that worrying about life is beyond her control, and that there’s a supernatural peace – a rest, that comes in the fact that we can entrust life to the Omniscient God. In fact, it can be exciting- a mystery – to see how God writes each page of the narrative of our lives. We might not know each chapter, but we know the ending will be blissful, as promised in 1 Corinthians 2:9 -
“However, as it is written:
“What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”[a]—
the things God has prepared for those who love him”
That’s the beauty of the abundant life with Jesus. Ah, what freedom!
Here are the lyrics of “Unpredictable,” a Psalm 131 remix.
Let’s find freedom in resting in Him. He’s unpredictable, but He’s also perfect. Perfectly unpredictable.
As I’ve shared before, for me worry comes in the form of thinking a million what ifs about a situation, surmising from A to Z without skipping any letters, I’ve put it before. At times I’ll say I’ve committed something to God, but in my mind I'll still wonder about all the possible outcomes, negative and positive, rather than just trust that God will accomplish His purpose - the best outcome.
Yet I recently noticed that for the last few months, I haven’t worried much about anything. Not that I haven’t had cares, but I’ve seen God take them away as I’ve meditated on His precepts more. I realized this a few weeks ago as I read Psalm 131, a short but powerful Psalm of David:
1 My heart is not proud, LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
2 But I have calmed and quieted myself,
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content.
3 Israel, put your hope in the LORD
both now and forevermore.
I was especially struck by the second part of verse 1 to the first part of verse 2: “I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have calmed and quieted myself…” Then I focused on the refrain in verse 3: “Israel put your hope in the LORD, both now and forevermore.” As my devotional book also pointed out, rather than worrying himself with the burdens of life – including the “what ifs,” David recognized that they were beyond his control, “great matters or things too wonderful" (v.1). He let those cares go, putting them into the hands of the Maker. And he could urge Israel to do the same (v.3).
The mention of Israel, one word, is so striking here. The Nation of Israel, as we often hear, is the descendants of Abraham and God’s chosen people, through whom He sent Jesus. Because of Christ we have that same heritage. As I read “Israel” in this context, a verse from the New Testament came to mind about the status of believers in Christ, written by the apostle Paul to the Gentile Christians in Galatia:
“There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.” (Galatians 3:28)
Romans 8:16-18 also says this about the nature of our status as heirs when we receive Christ:
“16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
Present Suffering and Future Glory
18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”
By receiving Jesus, we’ve become “co-heirs” – joint heirs – with Christ, through which, ultimately, we will not just see, but experience, His glory. We have that promise as children of God despite the challenges we may face in this life.
So, again, about this life? As David points out in Psalm 131, we don’t have to dwell on the things we experience or hear about that we can’t explain. Instead, we should put them in the care of The One who can explain them. It is only in heaven that we will have full knowledge when God reveals it to us. We are best off entrusting our worries to Him.
Reading Psalm 131, I was reminded how God has been using increases in my time in His Word, praising Him through song and listening to sermon podcasts to renew my mind and turn my focus to Him. I’ve been so much busier meditating on the things of God that I haven’t had time to worry. That’s the way God works – minute by minute – hour by hour - day by day – until we look back months or years later and are able to marvel on how He's been changing us. What an awesome God we call on!
Psalm 131 also reminded me of ”Unpredicatable,” a song by Francesca Battistelli, a contemporary Christian artist, that puts David’s words in a modern prayer. In the song she talks about how in life we often wonder what God’s doing or what His plans are, but in those moments she prays for God to give her His peace: “So help me to rest in the mystery of what I can’t understand...”
I love those words! As in Psalm 131, she recognizes that worrying about life is beyond her control, and that there’s a supernatural peace – a rest, that comes in the fact that we can entrust life to the Omniscient God. In fact, it can be exciting- a mystery – to see how God writes each page of the narrative of our lives. We might not know each chapter, but we know the ending will be blissful, as promised in 1 Corinthians 2:9 -
“However, as it is written:
“What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”[a]—
the things God has prepared for those who love him”
That’s the beauty of the abundant life with Jesus. Ah, what freedom!
Here are the lyrics of “Unpredictable,” a Psalm 131 remix.
Let’s find freedom in resting in Him. He’s unpredictable, but He’s also perfect. Perfectly unpredictable.
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