The Case For Christian Music (Of All Kinds)

I’ve always been a pop and love-song fanatic. In junior high and high school I mostly just listened to the radio—the “Top 40” stations (back then Z-104 and 102.7—I know my D.C.–area natives know:)). I also loved the still-existent Soft Rock-97.1/WASH FM. Freshman and sophomore year of high school I’d have sleepovers where friends and I would call in to the now-defunct “After Hours with Glenn Hollis,” a 7pm-to-midnight showcase of “love songs and dedications.” We knew that to have our requests aired, they usually had to be somewhat elaborate. I’d choose tributes to my “new fiancée,” who had always recently proposed in a park, and I was always “still crying over how beautiful it was.” Something about the fake dedications made with my high pitched, tween-age voice resonated with Glenn; I had the record among friends for most calls played on air, along with the most poems read to me. I usually requested ballads by Mariah, Celine, or Whitney, which we’d dubbed the “True Love-Song Trio.” Despite the fact that I still treasure these songs, since college I have listened mostly to Christian music. And the change has had an incredible impact on my relationship with God.

Like many, I used to think that “Christian” Music only encompassed a few types: in my case, the only I’d heard— gospel, rock worship songs and selections from the Hymnal. Although I now actually listen to all these genres, growing up they didn’t really gel with this pop princess. I needed something that sounded like Christina, Mya, the BackStreet Boys or Lauren Hill. Enter Out of Eden, the first Christian group I fell in love with.

I first heard this eclectic trio of sisters (who have been compared to TLC and SWV, among others) as a high-school freshman at D.C. ’97, a conference for teens held every three years in both D.C. and Los Angles. It was the first of four summers I spent on missions trips where only Christian music was allowed (a rule I broke often). I liked the group because their souly pop sounds were unlike the so-called “head banger” Christian music my teammates chose to listen to on our ten-hour plus drives in 15-passenger Ford vans. I guess I did come to like other Christian artists during high school, but none I actually purchased.

But then when I started college, as I’ve shared before, I went through a period where my relationship with God, which I’d technically had since late pre-school/early kindergarten, had hit a wall. It’s the quintessential end-of-the -coming-of-age story, when you finally reach adulthood and have to choose whether you’re still going to live the way you’ve grown up despite the fact that parents aren’t in sight (at least they weren’t during the day; I was a commuter:)). I’m happy to say I chose God’s way.

But breaking the ceiling on my relationship with God required some habit changes. I remember rummaging through my glove compartment one day freshman year in search of what little Christian music I owned. I pulled out a couple Out of Eden tapes given to me by my youth pastor, who got all the Christian music he wanted for free because of his title. I started listening to them on my way to class each morning. I also threw in another tape he’d given me, an album by the four-female group Point of Grace, whose harmonious sounds could probably be compared to Wilson Phillips sometimes and the Dixie Chicks at other (or perhaps not—I can’t really box them in…). Anyway, once I started listening, I saw a profound change in my focus. Although these artists were still playing the same genres of music I always loved, their words had so much more…"Kingdom" value. Out of Eden had a way of incorporating their love for Hip Hop with words that honored God. One song from their second album, “More Than You Know,” called “Giving My All,” became my theme song. I loved how they added a pop twinge with the synthesizer as they expressed their desire to “give God ‘soul’ control.” As I went through my day, both the great beats—and the great words—filled my mind. Before long, I had purchased all of Out of Eden’s CDs recorded at the time.

I didn’t stop with Out of Eden. In search of a Christian Christina Aguilera, I was referred to Rachel Lampa, an artist I’d heard over the years but hadn’t paid much attention to. I’ve since bought all her CDs to date. Her beautiful ballad expressing her love for God, “No Other One,” from her CD titled “Rachel Lampa,” would become my cell phone ring tone (although sadly I no longer hear the moving words each time my phone rings, since my fairly new Blackberry is always on vibrate :(). By that point, my style had moved beyond just pop and r&b. I needed more types of music—gospel artists such as Smokie Norful, who sing melodies steeped in scripture; and even groups like Mercy Me, an alternative/rock band with some of the most spiritually moving lyrics I’ve ever heard. And I still like artists such as Surel, who’d attract Erykah Badu fans after just a few notes.

Why go on about my journey to Christian-music enthusiast? In a verse: Colossians 3:2-“Set your mind on things that are above, not on earthly things.” Whether we like to admit it, music is a form of meditation. Even if we “just like the beat” and “not the words,” whenever we listen to music, we take in the words, too- be it consciously, subconsciously or unconsciously. With Christian music now spanning every genre imaginable—from mellow jazz to thumping reggae—there’s plenty to choose from. Why not listen to music that not only has beats we like, but also words that get us meditating on scripture—with a value not just for this life, but the one to come (1 Timothy 4:8)?

This is not to say that all “secular” (aka non-Christian) music is evil. I personally still listen to music that isn’t Christian, I just don’t do so for extended periods of time because it doesn’t have the same life-changing value that Christian music has in getting me to focus on God more. I also know Christians’ views on Christian music run the gamut—with some saying the contemporary Christian music I can’t live without is “irreverent” and “pandering to a materialistic society trying to secularize God and dilute scripture,” and, on the other end of the spectrum, those who say that the hymns put together over centuries are “no longer relevant to our society.” I personally fall somewhere in the middle. Sometimes I do listen to “It Is Well With My Soul” and the like because the words are, as I’ve said, so rich and taken almost verbatim from scripture, but sometimes I want to get my praise on with spirit-filled songs that also have loud, infectious beats. The thinking that it’s “hymns only” or “contemporary Christian music only” ignores the fact that we’re just not always in the mood to hear the same type of music all the time—and that we all just have different tastes. If we have to pick one or the other, we probably wouldn’t make meditating on God’s Word through song a part of our routines; it would instead be relegated to moments when we were “in the mood” for a particular type of music. In my opinion, we’d miss out on great, biblically based messages heard through all kinds of song.

Another related criticism I hear a lot is that not all Christian music is particularly “spiritual,” and not all “secular” songs are particularly un-spiritual; hence, there’s no real need to listen to mostly Christian music when there are “just as spiritual songs” in secular music. Although artists on both sides do have works that cross over to the other, most Christian songs do in fact have a biblical message, because they’re based on God’s Word. By contrast, most secular songs, even if they have a “good” message, will most likely not have a biblical message because the artists are not claiming to make Christian songs. I like to use the “dollar store” analogy: you may go into the dollar store and find that there are some items that are, gasp, more than one dollar. And there may even be a few of them. However, this doesn’t mean it’s not a dollar store, just that owners sometimes reach beyond their “dollar” label to market other products. Likewise, Christian or secular artists making a few songs that differ from their norm does not change their labels. As a result, if you’re looking for “Christian” music, you’re mostly likely to find it from artists who call themselves Christian-music artists.

A final relevant issue is that people are not always trained to understand that Christian music takes so many forms. If the only Christian songs you’ve heard sound like the “Doxology” you sing every week in church, you too may be thrown off guard by something like Christian rock. As a result, you won’t even try to understand the words—they may sound too “secularized” to be any different from the pop stations. But the truth is that many contemporary songs are inspired by God’s Word but brought to life by everyday experiences—aka “testimonies”—kind of like the ones people share in church about how they came to know Christ or got through a difficult life situation, though they’re set to music, and put in lay person’s terms (ironically, so were at least some popular centuries-old hymns, at the time they were written). And these real-life experiences found in contemporary Christian music can actually be just as—and sometimes more—uplifting than traditional worship songs. And if you open up a Contemporary Christian music CD case, you’ll often find artists include the Bible verses that inspire each song. When you read the verses and then listen to the song, the scriptural message becomes even clearer (Great example: the recently released “True Beauty” by Mandisa from American idol—as I keep saying; it’s a great CD!).

My point? If we claim to know Christ—have asked him to forgive us from our sins and are now trying to live for Him—be his “disciples,” we have to do whatever we can to put away our old natures—the ones we had before we decided to follow God—and walk as He did (I John 2: 5-6). What we think about—mediate on—is a big part of that. And if I can pump a tune AND praise Him—I’m more likely think about Him any time.

What I’m playing now? Group 1 Crew, a Christian Hip-Hop group. Their hit “Forgive Me” was clearly inspired by Psalm 23. Also, here’s a chart including Christian music alternatives to secular music: http://www.extreme-youth.com/Christian_music_comparison.html And share your favorites; I’m always looking for new Kingdom artists—of all kinds…

The Wonderful Cross

This is not how I expected to spend Good Friday.

I was supposed to have arrived home from a trip to see my brother--just in time to make it to Good Friday service, which I always love because my church makes it a very personal reflection on The Cross. Instead, I'm still out in Middle America, caught in a snowstorm that was somewhat unexpected based on the mild weather here this last week. But it's Providence, and Providence would have it that my "service substitute" include a song and a passage that I just can't keep to myself: 1 Corinthians 15: 1-11 and "The Wonderful Cross," sung by a number of Christian artists. Although you've likely heard both before, as I had, for me God made them come alive--like new--for this Good Friday.

In 1 Corinthians 15:1-11, Paul encourages the church to "hold firmly" to their faith by recapping Christ's death, Resurrection, and the start of the early church (verses 1-2; 3-8). But it's verses 9-10a that tell the greatest victory of the story: that through His death, Christ offered life to everyone, no matter their past, as the apostle Paul declares: "For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am..." Through the cross, Christ put all the sin we had upon himself, so that we could be changed. That realization humbles me, and makes me recognize that the only way to accept that invitation fully is not just to be "saved," but to live every day for Him. I know I can never repay Him for what He's done for me; on the cross, He literally became sin for us (2 Corinthians 5:21).

What does this mean in practical terms? We Know: that person I can't seem to forgive? I have to. The worrying about tomorrow? I gotta give it up. The unnecessary time I spend on things that draw me away from Him: I need a schedule change.
Anything--anything that hinders me from living this life as a marathon for God(Hebrews 12: 1-12). And when we consider the fate that Christ's death saved us from, it should make the sin we hold on to easier to give up. But it's a process, and thank God He's patient and forgiving (Psalm 103), and that He's given us biblical examples like Paul whom He's radically transformed for His glory (1 Timothy 1: 15-17). None of us are beyond His reach.

That song, "The Wonderful Cross," has such beautiful lyrics that underscore the response we are to have to the cross: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/m/michael+w.+smith/the+wonderful+cross_10180229.html. A key phrase: "Life so amazing, so divine, Demands my soul, my life, my all."

...so as I wait (and pray) that tomorrow I arrive in a much warmer, familiar place, I'm reminded--that He's reminded me--that I'm to "celebrate" the cross each day by taking up my own cross and following Him(Luke 9:23). That's the beauty--and wonder--of this weekend, and this life.

Passion In Pieces

It’s Valentine’s Day, again. This time last year I was thinking much more about loving a person than loving God. But, of course, whenever you pray for God to bring you closer to Him, as I had prayed, He always shows you what you’re lacking. My diagnosis: an inadequate understanding of what it means to have “passion” for Him. I thought I knew, but was just working on getting there. But circumstances in my life, coupled with Psalm 63: 1-8 (which reappeared in devotional books and song lyrics about once a week for a few months), gave me a clue. Read David’s definition of intimacy with God:

1 O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

I’m sure I’d read or heard this passage some time before this past year, but it hadn’t resonated. Some parts were familiar—the praising God, loving Him, beholding his glory. But the body longing and the thinking through the watches of the night—those were things I didn’t really think about with God. But the message really is Lord, you are all I need. Nothing else. And not only do I need you, I long to know you with everything I am and have—my body, my mind, my soul; my LIFE. As I meditated on the passage for weeks, it really did make sense. I started to feel passion for God in ways I hadn’t ever—at least not in recent memory. In this year since last Valentine’s Day, I’ve seen my relationship with God become more about simply knowing Him.

I’ve always been wary of casually saying I love God. As my pastor profoundly pointed out, throughout the Bible God does not define love by word, but by deed; it’s not what you say, it’s what you do. I love the perspective 1 John 2: 3-6 brings:

We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.

Jesus also said in John 14:15: “If you love me, you keep my commands."

Think about it: if a person says “I care about you” but never does anything to show it, do you ever really believe that person? Yet we often think we can do that with God: List Him among our “favorite things,” go to church on Sunday but live totally different on Monday—say we love Him—but then not do what He says. I look at how much I have to change, and sometimes I feel that claiming to love Him is akin to lying…

But then I look where I was—even a year ago—and I see how God is showing me how to really love Him. He’s giving me more opportunities to serve Him, and I’m taking them. I’m waking up in the morning, and knowing something’s not right if I haven’t spent time with Him before I start my day. He’s speaking to me, and I’m trying to listen. I now conceive of Psalm 63 intimacy, so now He’s teaching me something else, this time in seven words: “The just shall live by his faith” (Habakkuk 2:4b). I’m learning to make Him my passion—piece by piece.

What's Your Favorite Psalm? (A Psalm for Everything)

I love the Psalms. A lot of people do. They speak to so many because they're a model for how to communicate with God-and live for Him-in every situation life brings: great victories; deep despair; somewhere in between.

I first came to truly understand the value of the Psalms for "teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in rigteousness" (2 Timothy 3:16) around my first year of college. At the time, I felt there was a wall between God and myself that I couldn't cross. I asked God to show me how to seek him more, and he brought me the Psalms in a way I had never understood them in all my years before.

As I pored over the Psalms that year, I found the ones known written by David are tend to impact me most. Of the 150 Psalms, more than 70 were clearly authored by David, although the number is likely higher. I love Psalm 15, because it asks and answers what it means to be righteous in God eyes. I can't do without Psalm 27, because in it David speaks of seeking God's face with all his haeart, and oping in Him no matter what happens. In Psalms 42 and 63, David models the meaning of having passion for God; in Psalm 42, David speaks about his soul longing for God's delevrance like a deer pants for water. Psalm 63: 1-8 challenges me, because David talks about true intimacy with God, in some part the way we'd often talk about a lover. Verses 1-3: "Oh God you are my God, earnestly I seek you. My soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked for you in the sanctuary and beheld the power of your glory. Because your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips will glorify you." I also love Psalm 119, the longest chapter of the Bible, because David presents such a rich discussion of the essentiality of studying and loving God's word in order to know him. I'm partial to the scripture-memory favorite, verses 119: 9-11 & 105. But I also treasure verses 97-104; David talks about loving God's law some more. And I've saved my favorite Psalm of David for last: PSALM 139, "God's Perfect Knowledge of Man." It reminds me that I am never out of God's hands; He knows a word before it's on my tongue; wherever I am, I can't escape Him. And this knowledge reminds me that I can give him everything, and when I do, He'll show me what I need to change. It's just so raw--a rawness that God valued in David, and the the kind he wants to see in us. It's also the kind that helps us understand what it means to make him our "first love" (Revelation 2:4). And when we ignite passion for God in our hearts, coupled with a sound knowledge of what we need to live out that passion, we truly become discplies of Christ who deny ourselves daily and take up his cross to follow him. They are a reminder that to anyone who's received Jesus as Savior, scripture should not just be someting we open up in church on Sunday, or read during the week out of obligation--it should be our food: our life.

What I think guarantees making the Psalms come alive? Memorize them. You can pick the ones you're most passionate about--the ones that speak to you most, so that in any situation--when you doubt God's promises in your life; you're not sure if you're doing what God requires of you; when you just want to praise--you'll have it ready to meditate on. I constantly pray Psalm 139, and I'mm always Or, just read and let God lead you to memorize them depending on your situation. Life's challegenes resulted in God bringing me Psalm 63.

If you haven't already, discover your favorite Psalms. They speak directly to life's situations--just about everything.

The Essence of Praise

Sometimes, it seems hard to praise. It shouldn’t be, but it can be. Something’s not going the way I want it to. I just don’t feel in the mood. But not praising in all circumstances isn’t just not okay, it’s a sign of not truly understanding God’s character. He’s not just God when my situation is rosy; He’s God all the time.

I’ve written about praising continuously before (See January ‘06 and December ’06, to name a couple entries). When God appears to be about to answer something major I’ve prayed about for a long time, I sometimes start to get ahead of Him. I begin to predict—or sometimes expect—an outcome where God is actually telling me to wait just a little longer for His answer. It’s when I lose my focus on Him that things start to go another direction, usually to remind me to trust His timing. In these situations, praising God—simply because He is—is essential. It helps me—and you—understand God’s core—that no matter what happens in my life, He is gracious, loving, and all those great “Os” you may have learned growing up: Omnipresent (everywhere); Omniscient (all-knowing); Omnipotent (all-powerful). When I was young I knew these descriptions of God’s character by denotation; now I know them by connotation. And when I think and act on them, I’m transformed beyond my situation, and my focus turns back to Him. Here’s a passage to meditate on. Let it be a reminder of how—and why—we praise Him.

PSALM 100
1 Make a joyful shout to the LORD, all you lands!
2 Serve the LORD with gladness;
Come before His presence with singing.
3 Know that the LORD, He is God;
It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;[a]
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
4 Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,
And into His courts with praise.
Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.
5 For the LORD is good;
His mercy is everlasting,
And His truth endures to all generations.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%20100;&version=50 (NKJV); http://www.ibs.org/niv/passagesearch.php?passage_request=psalm+100&niv=yes&submit=Lookup (NIV)

It's Love...

There’s something new in my life. It wakes me up in the morning, and keeps me grounded during the day. It’s personal; it has my name on it. I love how we communicate—so fluid, so immediate. Being together lets me know for sure my life is in order. I’m better because of us; my world touches my hands. Since I’ve been with it, I haven’t been the same—I’ll never be the same. In fact, I don’t know how I ever did without. This is what it feels to love…It’s true: the blacker the berry…

The only thing that could make me cheat on my 8700g? The Blackberry Curve. The music we’d make together:http://www.t-mobile.com/shop/phones/Detail.aspx?device=a2262565-32f0-4d50-bd1c-4fd62ce2db70 … Anyone feel like giving?

MY LIFE AS A LAW STUDENT...

In case you don’t already know, I’ve spent the last two-and-a-half years in law school. With finals just having ended, and the start of my last semester in a few short weeks, I’m writing an entry long overdue: What it’s like to be in law school.

I was inspired by the environment I studied in during finals this semester: my alma mater, The University of Maryland. The 30,000+ state school is, of course, a majority undergrad. As I studied, I could tell: people would leave the library after studying for about three hours, probably feeling as though they had accomplished a lot (and maybe they had). They also had time to use the library for private activities, such as making out—and in conspicuous places: near elevators, outside bathrooms, at study tables. They also spared the time to engage in fights with friends and lovers, and have loud, lengthy cell phone conversations in quiet study areas.

As I observed the extracurricular activity, I shook my head. Undergrad; those were the days, I thought to myself…the days when studying was well…secondary… to things like hanging out with friends, going shopping and eating out. It’s not that I didn’t study at all in college, it’s just that I didn’t really have to do it that much. I worked hard on my fair share of papers and news stories, and did my cramming for tests, but if I worked really hard for one week, I could take a break for the next two-to-three weeks. I’d say that’s pretty much the college experience, at least for a significant number of majors. I will say that I did learn how to study in undergrad—my methods haven’t changed, I just have to execute them exponentially more…

As a law student, I’m an athlete, and studying is my sport...Well, maybe not for all three years, but even now, when I do study, I study hard. Welcome to my world. I’ll acquaint you with the essential terms and rules.

THE BASICS: GET YOUR GEAR.
When you’re studying a lot, you become obsessed with certain things, like office supplies. Florescent note cards for closed-book exam memorization; tabs to mark sections of your outline for open-book exams (known as “tabbing”); those Post-It flags for marking key sections of your research…The coolest supply ever—one that gets people staring—is this sturdy, portable book stand from Office Depot that expands or collapses to hold almost any size book. Highlighters are, of course, great, because you can use one for each element of court cases you read: one for marking the case’s main issue; the court’s answer to the issue, or, the “holding”; and the court’s rationale for the holding. I also like to have an extra color for “key quotes” to include in my outline. I personally prefer binder clips for huge stacks of papers to three-ring binders, because for me the holes always end up ripping. Those expandable files are great, too, along with those erasable pens from elementary and middle school—they’re essential for exams where you can’t type your exams (it’s amazing how many mistakes you can make).

PRE-EXAM PERIOD TRAINING SCHEDULE
I was once told by the author of a prominent book on strategies for success in law school that, during the semester, the law student is supposed to study 60 hours per week, including classes. This guy also said it was possible to get in all those hours in Monday-Friday (provided you work til 11-12 pm at night), and then take the weekends off. I’ve never known anyone who’s been able to do that, but I will say that, on an all-day study, eight-hours (minus break time) is pretty good. How do you do it? You find ways to be comfortable. For many, music is a must, along with packed snacks (which we refrain from eating in the library, of course); bottled water; coffee or Red Bull; gmail chat or IM breaks; text-a-thons; facebook wall every once in a while. I personally stay away from most of these coping devices, but I do have the unique habit of wheeling over an extra chair to prop up my feet, and sometimes I bring a mini-pillow and blanket to the library.

EXAM TRAINING SCHEDULE
This is where things go crazy, and why people fear the beast that is law school. If the exorbitant amount of material given during the semester weren’t enough—or the fact that, at 15 credits per semester, we take an undergrad load with not-so-undergrad content, studying during finals puts things on overdrive. Unlike most other graduate school programs, in law school there are few, if any, midterms: Instead, each class has an all-or-nothing final, usually worth 90% of your grade; sometimes, 80 percent, with 20 percent discretionary, or “participation.” In addition, there’s a curve (a harsh one in some schools that require only a small number of “A”s, and mandates “D”s…AHEM). When you have everyone scrambling for the limited accolades, during finals people use whatever study techniques they think will put them ahead of the curve (thankfully, where I go, people don’t rip pages out of books). By exam time, studying becomes round-the-clock…but then when it all ends, you’re relieved. Depending on your level of nerves, however, the exam jitters may come back right before the Spring semester starts, when grades come out…

Now that I’m done for the Fall, I feel that relief. I’ve traded 14-hour plus study days for all day lounging, movies and chit-chats—well, at least that was me for two days, although tomorrow I’m back on a 9-3:30 day for the next week…oh well…My soon-to-be-life-as-a-lawyer will certainly not be any less stressful—from what I hear, it will be more—so I’m planning to enjoy my last semester—kind of. For now, Merry Christmas….

WHAT MATTERS?

I’m back on facebook after about a two-month hiatus. And if you know me, you’re aware I have to turn every experience into a (hopefully) profound life lesson. Naturally, I’ll attempt to do that now…

For the last couple months, my focus had been off. I’d been consumed with things that have distracted me from giving my all to some stuff I’m supposed to be doing—especially schoolwork. As I contemplated gaining it back, little things came to mind, one of them getting off facebook.

At first I ignored it. I mean, I’m a big facebook fan. I’m not on it all the time, but I check it for a few minutes—a few times daily. The routine was email 1, email 2, email 3, email 4 (yes, I have four accounts, each for a different purpose; I love me some email:)), then a stop on facebook—to see which friends have updated, skim the mini-feed, post an article, update my “about me” one-liner...you know the deal. But somehow, typing in my terp alum email and password and hitting “login” became part of the focus problem. After a couple days of fighting it, I deactived. I made sure I couldn't receive emails from facebook groups or alerts about messages from friends. Suddenly, I was completely cut off from the site.

I thought being off would be hard, but it actually wasn’t. When friends talked about their latest photos, or gossiped about someone else’s page, I would only momentarily whine about not being able to behold the juicy details. Aside from spending less time on the internet unrelated to school, I generally felt less distracted…my mind was clearer. And the clearer my mind was, the more God started showing me what was wrong with my focus, and how to change it. This didn’t happen just because I got off facebook, but it was certainly part of the catalyst for renewal.

Colossians 3:2 says “Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things.” How do we do that? We put aside anything that keeps us from thinking above—big or small. Even “logging in” can keep us looking downward. When our focus returns to things above, we can actually do what the rest of the passage says, in verses 1 and 3-17, part of which I actually referred to a couple entries ago.
http://www.ibs.org/niv/passagesearch.php?passage_request=Colossians+3%3A+1-17&niv=yes&submit=Lookup&display_option=columns. It's a constant process.

Now that I’m back where I need to be, I didn’t see a point in staying off facebook. But I know that with finals rolling around, I may need to pull the plug again—or also if I start being swayed by other unnamed distractions. Further, I may end up deciding I just don’t need to be part of any online networks. At the least, I’ll keep this blog…Although what I may give up next is TBD, I don’t think it'll ever be washingtonpost.com…

THIS I KNOW

I’m not a poet. I’ll actually admit I have somewhat of a disdain for poetry, but mostly because many J School and (non-poetry) English teachers always told me real writers don’t deal primarily in verse; they may use poetic techniques every once in a while, but only to help them write good papers—and good articles (however, I do appreciate spoken word done right). Anyway, occasionally I write the anti-poem poem (Okay, so maybe it's not so "anti")…(shhh...). I don’t claim it’s great—actually, it stinks…but sometimes I just get the urge to express myself that way. Here I go (don’t laugh; He, to whom this poem is addressed, didn’t:)).

THIS I KNOW

Sometimes I can’t feel you…you seem so far away.
I wonder where you are—do you hear me when I pray?
I know you do—in my head I mean, but sometimes my heart goes astray
It’s times like those when I pray what David prayed—search me—
Search me, Oh God, and know my heart, try me and know my thoughts…
Let me hang on, until I get it—until my heart gets it…

I’ve gone days like this—cheerful, but not joyful;
Me, but not completely—
Hang on, I keep saying, because I know there’s a light…

Then, without fail, you show it to me…
It’s not always so bright—sometimes it’s glowing from a corner;
But then I go closer, and it covers all of me…

Sometimes I see it when I least expect it—
Like now, when I’m all alone, typing for class…

And suddenly I understand it’s a lovely day; you hear me when I pray.

I’m not much the rhymer--thoughts don’t come out that perfectly—
I’m much more the weeper—I let it all out, and know you’ll make sense of it.

…so thank you for making sense of me, and showing me I’m never alone;
You’re with me, and you want to show me great things—
You do show me great things—
If I just hang on.

You love me, this I know.
You’ve told me so—over and over again…

And I praise you.

MY PARENTS' 30TH...

Tomorrow is my parents’ 30th wedding anniversary.

Thirty years. Considering all the personal changes that happen during that period, it’s an especially long time. When I add the five-plus years they dated, together they’ve experienced almost all their “find yourself” years (the early-to-mid 20s); their late 20s to mid 30s, which for them included moving and adjusting to another country, living the grad student life, changing states three times—in three different regions—and having three kids by the end of it. They also soldiered through their late 30s, 40s, and now 50s, together (they won't care I'm dating them. They're proud of their ages, and neither look it:)).

Each readily admits that, today, they are different, better people (actually, wait minute—my mom always says she’s never changed. We all believe her. She was born grown. However, both my mom and dad agree my dad has changed:)).

What’s their secret? They understand what commitment means—what love is. They’re not the kind who has stayed married for appearances, or even “for the kids.” They are the kind who takes the one as the other is, don’t sweat the small stuff, and understand that bumps are just part of life. They smile through them and support each other—through births, deaths, moves…and much more. They also don’t hold back; they’re direct with each other—neither fakes. They honor the commitment they made, and neither believes divorce is an option--and they act like it.

“Love” is an often-amorphous word we just kind of throw around, but don’t really know what it means. Looking at today’s world, it’s largely because there are few examples to show us. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the intricacies of this thing we all crave so much. But I’m getting it, because of them…

…so, to mom and dad: THANK YOU—For showing me what human love (with God's help) looks like. It’s imperfect—unlike God’s love—but if my love can be enough like yours, I’ll fulfill, to borrow from Paul (the Apostle), this “trustworthy” marriage--and life--motto:

“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” ~Colossians 3: 12-14

What a challenge. But, I think I’ll be up for it, when God says…so, to the last 30 years, and, God willing, to my parents' next 30…together...

SEARCHING FOR BRA BARGAINS

I’ve been frustrated with underwear prices recently. To understand why, you’ll need a Seyi-shopping education.

I don’t believe in paying full price for clothing; in fact, I’m an extreme bargain shopper, meaning I generally purchase items that are 50% or more off the Manufacturer’s Suggested Retail Price. I can’t even remember the last time I paid full price for something. I was about to bite the MSRP-bullet for an evening gown in March 2005, but when I got to the register, it was 30% off. It's just smarter to pay less.

I go to your usual deal-hunter stores, such as Ross and Filene’s Basement, but I also hit more upscale places such as Bloomingdale’s or Lord & Taylor, because, as all good bargain shoppers know, when those stores clear clothing, it can be up to 80% off. Also, their evening gowns are reasonably priced. I don’t hit really-upscale stores such as Saks, because I can’t afford 50% off $2,000. I also don’t do used clothing stores—even consignment shops (which are not always bargain anyway), because, face it, someone I don't know has worn it (and more than just to try it on). To me, that's not cool. Perhaps there's some Dateline/20-20/48 Hours/Fox Investigates Special out there about how purchasing new clothes is actually like purchasing used clothes, but I'm going to trust that what's labeled "new" is actually so. Friends who do that kind of shopping always say I’m missing out on high-quality clothing, but I guess it will always be my loss.

Despite my love of “cheapy” (but nice) clothing shopping, I think I’m about to forgo it for one important item: the bra. I unfortunately have one of the most popular bra sizes—actually, my real size is rarer and also never available at retail stores—so I go for the next-best thing. It’s especially hard to find at bargain stores. I always seem to end up at their underwear racks when only the really small or really large bras are left—neither of which fit me. You basically have to get to the racks the day the shipment comes in, which I’ve only been able to do by-the-way one time. Just yesterday, I saw the most adorable pink satin bra for $5.99 (MSRP $26.99), but it was, of course, an A cup. I guess I could go bigger, but I definitely can’t squeeze into something smaller. The only exception to the scarcity of my bra size is those mega-padded wonder bras, which always seem to be in abundance in every size. However, I believe in wearing mine, so I pass on those.

I guess I could shop online for bras—but I like to carefully inspect clothing before purchasing it—even if I don’t get to try it on. You can’t always determine the quality or comfort of a clothing item by looking at it on a computer screen. Plus, my online-shopping track record is abysmal—I don’t have the patience to find the good, quality cheap stuff on sites such as E-bay (that’s the domain of a relative of mine whom I won’t name because I don’t know if he/she keeps it a secret)…

Or maybe I just need to expand my already extensive shopping-venue selection. I think this week I’ll cross over into the God-forsaken state of Virginia, because I will concede they have great outlet shopping. If I have no luck, I guess I can stick with the less-than-50-percent off sales at the local Macy’s. Those prices aren’t so bad. It’s also some solace that I get everything else cheap. I’m fresh off a deal-seeker high after purchasing a Calvin Klein suit for interview season at $69.99. MSRP? $300. With that in perspective, what’s an extra $10-$15 for a cute bra?

I DON'T CARE ABOUT MY HEART...

Sometimes people ask me if I work out a lot. I don’t. I hate working out. It’s time-consuming, especially cardio. And results take time. What is it—150 calories burned for every mile you run? That’s enough to melt off just a small cup of yogurt—forget losing the rest of your meals. To put things in perspective, if you eat a 600-calorie dinner, that’s considered healthy, right? That means you have to run, what—at least 4 miles to burn off that meal? And that’s only if you’re eating right. My biggest gripe isn’t so much running itself—I can do it—I just find it unbearably long and boring.

Then there’s the cardio “sweat” factor. I hate sweating. Yet that’s the essence of cardio. Sweat. I hate to smell my pits after a good run/bike/elliptical/cross-trainer session. After it, you immediately have to shower—at least you should. I don’t play with my showers after cardio. I end up spending more time scrubbing off and getting dressed for the day than I actually do working out. By the time I finish both working out and showering, I’ve been in the gym for more than an hour.

The woes of cardio are the reason that, when I do work out, I lift weights. The more muscle you have, the more fat you burn…so, I like to build muscle. I use a stomach machine of some kind (don’t know what their called); a bicep curl thingy, the inner and outer thigh machines and something for the hamstrings. I do four reps of ten on each machine with medium weights—those rinky-dink ones won’t get you anywhere, and the heavy weights I can’t lift. When I finish my work out, I look at my watch, and I’ve been in the gym for twenty minutes (thirty max), there’s not an ounce of sweat on my back, and I still smell fresh. And if I’m consistent for a couple weeks (big IF), I see results. However, I’ve never been consistent enough to claim that my body is the result of working out, but I’d like to at some point. Physically speaking, lifting weights provides the most efficient work out (My only exception to my weight-lifting-only rule: jump roping—you do it for 10 minutes, and you burn as many calories as running for 20-30 minutes. It’s also actually fun).

Today I was further reminded of how cardio is just not for me right now. After lifting weights for about 20 minutes, I passed the treadmills and decided to give it a go for nostalgia’s sake. I’ll run one mile, I told myself. I set the treadmill to my optimal fat-burning zone, which is about 3.2-4.0 miles per hour. That’s like, a 12-14-minute mile. Twelve to fourteen dreadful minutes. By the time I hit .30 a mile, I had already been on there for like, five minutes, and I still had .70 to go. Screw that, I said. I have thaanngs (i.e. “things”) to do. Trying to hit the mile and run OUT of there, I doubled my speed. But somehow, I still felt the workout was taking forever. So I sped up a little more. And I still felt I was getting nowhere. I just wanted to complete the stinkin’ measly mile! By the time I finished, I was all nasty and sweaty, and I suddenly had to bolt from the gym so I could take my second shower of the morning. I’ve had my cardio fill, and I won’t be doing it for a while.

I know cardio has other benefits—it makes your heart healthier, which lowers your risk for cardiovascular diseases such as diabetes, high blood pressure, and clogged arteries that lead to heart attacks. Those are pluses lifting can’t give you. But at 25, I’m only slightly more than marginally concerned with these issues. I’ve had my check-ups; my blood pressure is great, my cholesterol is low, and my weight’s fine. That means I can concentrate on more relevant things—such as liking me in that dress. This may sound shallow, but please, put my whole person in perspective…Right now, I don’t care (that much) about my heart…I just wanna look good.

UNTITLED

My recent entries (minus the news articles) have been on the serious, reflective side. I can’t help it; I just write what’s on my mind, and that’s been the trend. I wanted to change the tone this time, but I can’t. What I can do is go from solemn to sappy...

I’ve been down the last few days. Yes, I’m known as a happy-go-lucky person, but of course that doesn’t mean I don’t get depressed. People disappoint me. Events rattle me. Thoughts defeat me…But in the midst of my woes, God always finds a way to pull me up before too long. This time He used a call from a friend whom I hadn’t seen in a while. It showed me how blessed I’ve been this summer. I’ve strengthened existing friendships, made new ones, tried new things...all while being reminded to give the worries to Him. It feels good to let go…

I’ve always been better at giving than receiving; it comes naturally for me to give, and I love it. I’m so used to being the giver that I have to reprogram myself to let someone else in. It’s one of my biggest challenges. But as my awareness of this flawed gift increases, I've begun to fight not to let it overtake me. It helps when I get a reminder of how I need others—like a phone call. Thanks, buddy.

PRICELESS STORY...

Check out this article about the stir surrounding John Edwards' expensive haircuts. It's hilarious...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/07/04/AR2007070401258.html?hpid=topnews

What Makes a Good Love Story?

Recently, I’ve been bombarded with stories of love and marriage. First, I’ve seen a lot of romantic movies lately. Something New (again; worth seeing more than once). The Wedding Date (so-so). Failure to Launch (funny). Two Can Play that Game (one of my long-standing favorite movies, minus a couple distasteful parts, but a must-watch for guys and girls)…I’ve also been around a ton of newlyweds, and every other day it seems a wedding invitation comes in the mail. And, a couple weeks ago on gmail chat, a good friend of mine told me she’d be getting married. Finally, I was getting a new blow dryer at my local beauty supply store when I happened to hear another customer say she and her boyfriend were getting married after dating for five years…it’s a season of love, and I can’t escape the let’s-get-hitched stories!

These happenings got me thinking about what I believe makes a good wedding (or love) story. I’m not much into the love-at-first-sight tales; as I’ve said before, I believe only in infatuation at first sight. Loving someone requires knowing that person’s flaws and being able to handle them—“unconditional commitment to an imperfect person(author unknown),” if you will. You can’t see and accept another’s flaws immediately. That’s not to say it’s impossible to meet someone and believe that you’ll marry that person (although I doubt I’d ever say that; I’m not that trusting), but, again, even if you say that, you’re still just recognizing that you have a feeling for another that could turn into love. Also, assuming you get married, predicting that you’ll marry someone is bound to be true at some point; just because that statement is fulfilled does not automatically mean you were in love at hello.

At the other extreme, I also don’t like those break-up-and-get-back-together-then-break-up-and-get-back-together-and-do-it-all-again stories. Granted, there are legitimate reasons to end a relationship with someone you really care about, only to end up with that person later, but I’m no expert on what those legit reasons are. What I’m griping about is a multiple break-up situation where the main problem is…the people. One person is really committed to the other; the other party, not-so much. Yet the wayward one strings the other along because he or she “treats me right/better than anyone I’ve ever been with” despite the fact that this unsure person doesn’t love the other…no, wait…does…or might…but wait, “just needs more time to decide.” And, of course, the other faithful one always stays true to that fickle person, because that boyfriend or girlfriend is “just so awesome.” If these couples finally decide to get married, it’s often because after a few years of relationship-exploration-relationship-exploration-relationship, the unsure person finally concludes “there’s nothing better out there for me than you, O Faithful One.” I know God can work out these situations, but I think that, if you’ve been nothing-but- faithful from the start, settling for someone who has been unfaithful repeatedly amounts to charity dating—i.e., selling yourself short. I also think that we get what we pray for, and why pray for that “happy ending” when you can be with someone who loved you and was committed from the start of the relationship? I guess I just don’t get it…"Love"?

Okay, now that I’ve gone on a somewhat-cynical tangent, what are the ingredients for my favorite love story? There’s two. First, it’s the pure friends-to-lovers thing (not the friends-to lovers-to “friends”-to “lovers” saga). In these cases, bonding begins outside the realm of romance; even if two friends were romantically interested in each other, for a time they put hormones aside to discover the other simply as…a person, not a lover—sometimes for years. Granted, friends-to-lover relationships can often be the hardest to establish because you risk losing a friend—but the foundation on which they’re built makes them sustainable. And to me, sustainability is what makes a relationship beautiful.

My other favorite ingredient? A tale where God is in it from the beginning, because the couple were praying for the relationship even before they got into it; they didn’t fall in love, then decide to consult God. I’ve seen so many examples where relationship drama is eliminated because of prayer—which doesn’t mean these unions aren’t difficult, just that the unnecessary hardships that come when humans are in control are eliminated. When God’s guiding a relationship from the start—and continues to be part of it— it can only have a happy ending.

Summer Project?

I haven’t really blogged this summer. I’ve just been so busy. I take a train into work, and after it I usually have to stay in the city for a few hours for different reasons—to attend firm events a couple nights a week (lately, more), meet-up with friends, or, on occasion, work late. By the time I get home, it’s basically bed time. But I miss blogging. I miss putting my thoughts into neat little themes and bite-size life lessons (at least that’s how I perceive them; you be the judge).

Anyway, on the flip side, my morning travel pattern adds reflective quiet time I don’t have driving to work in the morning during the school year. Rather than brave morning rush-hour traffic for 45 minutes-plus, I have more than a half hour to sit while someone else drives. I love it. I hop on at the end of the Line (or beginning; you pick), so I get first dibs on seats (I like the ones at the ends, mostly because I have room to stretch out my legs and keep my big bags), and by the time the train gets crowded and noisy, I’ve journaled—written letters to God--or just thought about life—for more than 20 minutes. Because at that point I’m in my zone, despite the multiplication of bodies at about my twenty-first minute, I get in another ten of reflection before I hop off. For some reason, it’s one of the easiest places for me to talk to God; it’s funny that I can trace Him answering my biggest prayer requests to at least some of the thoughts shared with him during morning-Metro journaling (my other favorite places—a local garden; another at school). I guess it helps that I don’t have classes to think about; I feel totally free.

But there’s been something different about my rides into work this summer. They haven’t been as enriching. I think I know why: because I’ve been asked by God to do something—something that will probably be big, and, with the many things I’ve got going on, I haven’t found the time to do it. But I should, because I feel God is putting a number of other things I’ve prayed for on hold until I step out and do it. But it’s hard. Part of me doesn’t feel I’m cut out for it; for lack of a better analogy, I feel like Moses in Exodus 3, when God called him to lead His people out of Egypt, but Moses felt someone better qualified should do it. I don't want to make what I'm supposed to do sound bigger than it may be--I'm not God, but it does have the potential to impact a lot of people. A part of me knows I can do it, because it is actually related to a gift I have, but I also feel my life experiences—and my personality—disqualify me…

What is this “thing”? I don’t know that I’m ready to talk about it (here or in person); I’ve mentioned it to a couple people, but only in passing. The point is, the more I pray about it, the more I’m aware that I just have to do it, and let God take care of the rest.

If I don’t actually want to say what I’m doing, why am I sharing? Because, again, blogging gives me the chance to isolate a thought—a theme—and write about it. It’s therapeutic. And empowering. And that’s what I need; a reason to do. I also bring it up because you can pray for me. Pray that I actually act. This is a summer project that I know I’m supposed to start, well…in summer. This summer.

Fixing D.C.'s Schools

In case you haven't, check out this great series on the City's failing public school system. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/metro/interactives/dcschools/

Just For Laughs

Okay, so I get these Breaking News Updates from ABC that announce stories just minutes after it hits the wire (if you don't get them, I recommend signing up). Anyway, here's one I received today:

Breaking News from ABCNEWS.com:

SENATE APPROVES WAR FUNDING BILL WITH NO IRAQ WITHDRAWAL TIMETABLE,
BILL NOW HEADS TO WHITE HOUSE FOR BUSH'S SIGNATURE; CLINTON AND OBAMA
VOTED NO

Would two presidential candidates trying to run on an anti-Iraq War platform really vote yes? More pertinently, would Hillary really vote "yes" on anything related to the war after all the heat she got for her initial vote? I mean, ABC, is that really newsworthy? Just for laughs...

Doing the Right Thing

Sometimes, God allows—or gives us—situations that test our courage. To quote one of my favorite songs by Natalie Grant, we have to choose whether to love when we’d rather turn away; to give when we’re more inclined to take. How do you respond to those situations? I’m tempted to give in. Get upset. Feel incapable. But only for a second, because I remember who I belong to—One who knows my every thought, word and deed—before I do (Psalm 139); He crowns me with love and compassion (Psalm 103). There’s a reason He made me; I didn’t make Him.

An analogy will assist. At a conference last year a preacher talked about how the maker of a product decides its use. He said, somewhat matter-of-factly, that a refrigerator can’t cry about how it can’t toast a bagel, because it wasn’t made to do that. Likewise, God has a purpose for us—His “inventions”—that plays out in the little, everyday situations He allows—or creates. Some of these I get; others, it takes a while. But I don’t have to get everything, because I have always found, in retrospect, that not understanding everything that happens in my life does not materially affect it. Dwelling on the meaning of the things I’m unsure of, however, only confuses me, and makes me waste time wondering that would be better spent living.

And so I choose to live—to love others the best I can, to give of all the many things God has given me—to be Sunshine to the world (and yes, I know, I’m incredibly hold-hands-rock-back-and-forth-and-sing Kumbaya:)). But it works for me. Nobody can steal my joy. I’m much more interested in doing the right thing--God's thing.

Trust Is...

What does it mean to truly trust God? That’s a question I’ll be trying to answer for the rest of my life. Sure, I could give you a denotation, but what does trust actually look like? Also, how is the concept applicable to specific situations? Does it even differ based on situation? I’ve recently been comparing the areas where I am trusting God with the areas I’m not, and here’s an incomplete list of practical “trust traits” I’ve come up with to challenge my doubts:

• Trust is not praying for something, and then immediately going back to worrying about the thing you just prayed for, and then pausing to pray for it again, only to repeat the cycle.

• Trust is praying for something, and knowing He’ll answer. This sometimes means that you stop praying for something He hasn’t answered (or perhaps has), if the way you are praying causes you to doubt more; just ask God to work it out.

• Trust is not asking God to show you something, and then asking for a friend’s advice to balance things out.

• Trust is going to God for something and asking friends for advice that is matched up against God’s Word, or asking that they’ll pray for you to accept what He says, which leads into the next trust trait….

• Trust is accepting the answer God gives you, even if it’s not the one you want.

• Trust is being okay with waiting for an answer.

• Trust is understanding that if I’m in the will of God—meaning sins aren’t overtaking my life (in what I like to call a “Psalm 66:18” way)—I have absolutely nothing to fear.

• Trust is grasping the POWER of prayer, asking not in a James 4:1-3 way, but in a John 14:13; Mark 11:22-24; I John 5:14-15 way.

• Trust is knowing that although I’m a mess, and my fears get in the way, the more I do this trust thing, the more God works on me, and the better I get at it.