Summer Gripes

I use the word love freely. I love that song; I love that food, I love those shoes; I love those clothes; I love that person. But sometimes, I like to talk about what I don’t like—or even hate. Here are some things that bug me about summer. They are not in ranking order (it’s not that serious).

THE EXPONENTIAL INCREASE OF (MALE) SEXUAL HARASSERS
They line sidewalks, fill up restaurants and loiter at movie theaters hoping to score/get some/hit it, etc., with anonymous women who pass them. Yes, the fact that people are wearing less clothing does have something to do with the upsurge in creeps, but I also think guys use summer as an excuse to be all over women in a way they couldn’t justify during other seasons. Personally, I will never find random low lives calling me “baby-chocolate-sexy, etc.,” flattering, and if you do, I think you need to love yourself a little more—you’re fearfully and wonderfully made, after all.

I’ll also admit, however, that a small-but-solid contingent of nice, upstanding men tends to appear in summer as well—but that’s only a small consolation compared to the much larger number of ineligibles. My advice, ladies, is remember what you learned in elementary school: boys (which would include physically grown men who sexually harass by engaging in catcalling and other disrespectful attempts to pick up women) have cooties, and if you get too close to them, you will catch whatever it is they’re spreading. Stick with men.

BIKINIS
I just don’t like them. To elaborate, I would need much more space. Maybe I will later.

HEAT AND HUMIDITY
The muggy summer Washington weather makes me feel all sticky and in need of, like, three showers a day. Also, I don’t like the sun trying to mess with my skin tone. I like it how it is.

TOURISTS
They cover the National Mall; clog up the Metro. And they don’t know about the stay-on-the-right-side-of the-Metro escalator-if-you’re-not-going-to-walk-up-it Code (If you know me, you’re aware I always keep it moving, so I never stand on the escalator. I can only say “excuse me” politely so many times. When I find myself starting to get snippy, I have to take a deep breath, sigh, and resign myself to standing.)

Also, I’ve never understood why tourists take pictures of subways cars. Even if you’re from Walla Walla, Washington, and you’ve likely never seen one live, are they really that memorable? I mean, are your friends and neighbors seriously going to be fascinated when you tell them they’re looking at a blurry picture of a moving train?

SUMMER FLINGS
This is a tangential gripe to the sexual harassers comment. On a more serious note, people often find the need to be in relationships for the summer “just for fun” , or to pass time. Far too often, they end poorly. Not that it can’t lead to more, but I think there’s a definite difference in the outcome when there is an intent to have a summer fling and when you just happen to meet someone in the summer. Okay—I feel the legal jargon coming out, so let me stop… Anyway, I think the quest for a summer fling hits at a deeper, disturbing issue--our often insatiable desire to be with someone even if it comes at a price. Relationships shouldn’t be forced. If the only summer relationship option you have is a fling, there are plenty of other valuable, rewarding ways to spend your time that you won’t later regret…See old friends, family, work on a cause, travel…the possibilities are limitless…

SAYING GOODBYE
Every summer, someone near and dear to me leaves good old MD for a new city and a new state. This year it’s some of my closest girls---I’ve already blogged on this in my “To My Girls” entry. Again, to my lovely friends who are off to wow other parts of the country with their grace, intelligence, and creativity, Godspeed.

TO BE CONTINUED…
I know there’s so much more to hate, but coming up with this gripe list has been kind of draining; as I said before, I’m a lover, not a hater:)(evident in the number of times I use the smiley face. I still don’t think I know what the frown symbol is--:(--am I right?). Maybe my next entry will be about what I love. I guess you’ll have to see…