I’m going to talk about words for a while— like, a few entries. I’ll be addressing our calling as Christians to use them to benefit others and ourselves—for His glory.
It’s a topic God’s placed on my heart lately. It’s funny last entry I talked about how I’m not very affected by what people say. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t believe words are important. In fact, I find them vital to living our faith—and they’re supposed to set us apart.
I thought of doing this series after attending an event last week where I heard the most unpleasant words I had in a long time. Sure I’m used to someone cursing, gossiping or engaging in otherwise negative talk at some point during the day (and sometimes I’m to blame)—but the hour-and-a-half I spent at that event was an especially intense and uncomfortable experience.
In similar situations I would have made some effort to turn the conversation positive—or at least change the subject—but this time I was just so aware of my discomfort that I said nothing.
That day I missed a chance to speak light—and life—with my words. Particularly this year, as I’ve started working—and dealing with different people in a “team” setting, I’ve been reminded of Colossians 4:5-6, which addresses our constant calling as Christians to use words rightly:
“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
I plan to analyze these verses later in the series, so I won't say much about them. But notice the pleasant images some key words bring: "full of grace" and "seasoned with salt." Our words are supposed to create a kind of verbal "fragrance"--or "aroma"--from which goodness flows to all. That's my prayer for the words of these next few entries.
I’ll be hitting several topics: swearing; gossip; negative talk; apologizing; and maybe more. I'll also be sharing my words "testimony"--how God has--and will--develop me in this area. I've always had strong opinions—and being “strong” in something is, of course, an opportunity for God to humble us—Amen?
Most importantly, this series is meant to remind you—and me—that our words are the distinction between life and death. Considering we have new life because of words of promise that He fulfilled on the cross, we ought always to choose life with our words—which also are to be full of grace, seasoned with salt.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
THE ART OF LOVE
Every once in a while I like to review a book I’ve been reading. This time I’m going to discuss not so much the content, but the concept, of a book that I’ve recently picked up off my shelf again on The Five Love Languages. I think they’re a good model for showing love not only in romantic relationships, but also to friends, family and others we meet, as Christ commands.
You’ve probably heard of The Five Love Languages, which is a concept from Dr. Gary Chapman, a relationship counselor and pastor, establishing that there are five primary “languages,” or methods, for expressing love to others. Chapman also says that everyone has one, or more, primary language that makes them feel most valued. The goal is for people to understand how to “speak” the language of their loved ones, understand how they personally accept love, and be able to receive—and speak—all the languages.
I already hear smirks or giggles from some who may think it’s a bunch of “psychobabble," but trust me, this is like, the best concept ever.
I’ve been enamored with The Love Languages for years. I first learned about them in a Bible Study in high school. The original book is about expressing the love languages in marriage, but the concept became so popular that books have been adapted for Singles, Teens, Kids and more. Plus, there are other “Fives” concepts (a Five Languages of Apology was released in the last couple years, which is almost as fabulous). In each book, the languages are the same but tailored to the audience. I purchased The Five Love Languages for Singles just last year, which talks about expressing love to everyone in your life. I hadn’t actually read much of it (but I’ve taken the quiz in the back like ten times), but I picked it up off my bookshelf a couple weeks ago and have been perusing sections of interest since; hence, this entry.
THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES
Anyway, to the meat: The Five Languages. In case you don’t already know them, they are Words of Affirmation; Gifts; Acts of Service; Quality Time and Physical Touch. At a basic level, the languages are self-explanatory, but I’ll also share a few not-so-evident details about them from the book:
Language #1: Words of Affirmation
The language of “Affirming” Words has many dialects (yes, I said dialects--and that is genius!). It is expressed by:
Language #2: Gifts: Showing love by offering thoughtful, heartfelt and tangible symbols of appreciation (No Dialects) ( p. 67)
Language #3: Acts of Service - Looking out for the needs and desires of others and offering assistance accordingly (No Dialects) (p. 80-81)
Language # 4: Quality Time - Taking a period to connect with another person. Like Words of Affirmation, it also has many dialects:
Language #5: Physical Touch - affirming another through physical contact in a meaningful, appropriate and non-sexual manner (No Dialects) (p. 117-122)
MY LANGUAGES
I’m so fond of the languages because they’ve helped me understand the differences between how I give love and primarily receive it. It’s also helped me expand how I share love with others, as it’s meant to. Although I speak most of the love languages fluently, among them Words of Affirmation, the reality is Words of Affirmation is not even remotely my primary language. For example, I’m not much into receiving words of praise, i.e., compliments. In the past I couldn’t understand why comments such as “good job on that presentation” or “you look nice today” have so little effect on me—and at times I shrug them off. While I am learning to “receive” such compliments and they can be affirming at times, I’ve also realized that it’s just not what makes me feel the most valued.
My primary languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service, by a ridiculously wide margin.
For quality time, it’s not a “quantity” or “number of hours” thing, but what is done during that time—i.e., quality. It makes me feel valued when people take time out of their schedules, albeit a short period, to go somewhere meaningful—a place that is either important to them or me--and have good conversation there. I tend to enjoy smaller groups, or one-on-one time—because I feel like it’s such a great opportunity to connect. I also like it when I’m given—and give—undivided attention during that time, especially if it’s one-on-one; constantly checking out the new apps on the iPhone or responding to every buzz of the blackberry makes me feel insignificant, especially when I meet with someone for a short period. I also love building lasting memories with other people that are the result of quality time.
Acts of Service also are so important to me because I’m not very affected by what people say—good or bad, in my mind words are momentary—but I’m more affected by what people do. I treat words like actions, and don’t like when there’s a disconnect between what’s said and done. But the thought and effort that is often required to consider a need or desire and try to meet it with an “act” makes me so responsive to Acts of Service.
If there’s a language I’m lacking in fluency, it’s Physical Touch. I’ve always been critical of the cheap ways touch tends to be employed in our society, but the whole point of the language is not doing that. I’ve undervalued what a rub on the back or a kind hug can do to make another person feel special. I’m learning to speak this language, especially with people who hold it as their primary.
YOUR LANGUAGE(S)
I enjoy finding out others’ languages; in “quality activity” fashion, I’ve made many a friend take the quiz on a road trip. Most of the time there aren’t too many surprises in others’ scores—and we usually have some common language—hence our friendship, but every once in a while I discover there’s an additional language someone has that I’ve totally overlooked.
Also, while I can see the love languages are indeed useful for every relationship because the core "love" issues that bother us about friendships tend to be the same things that bother us about people in relationships—I can see how it’s especially useful for romantic relationships. As we often see and hear, men and women are fashioned very differently—particularly in communication. I think that, especially early on in a relationship, the love languages can help knit some of the divide that is present while initially getting to know someone romantically.
To find out your language, you can take a quiz. The online quiz is written for the marriage relationship, but the questions are the same even in the single context; the “you” in the questions would just be changed to something like “friend” or “coworker.” The maximum that you can score in any one area is 12 points. If you score the same for more than one language, you are “Bilingual.” Yes, The Love Languages have a language of interpretation “unto their own,” lol. Love it (the languages)!
WHY LANGUAGES?
I think learning to love others in many different ways is so important because of the treatment of love in God’s Word. Throughout the Bible, it is held as the highest calling. One of the great passages on love, I Corinthians 3:14-17, lists a number of virtues, but instructs us to, “above all, put on love,” because it “binds” all the other virtues in “perfect unity.”
We also cannot forget that The One who didn’t even spare His own Son did it for Love. And so I close with the ultimate command from Matthew 22: 34-40:
34Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" 37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'[a] 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'[b] 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
You’ve probably heard of The Five Love Languages, which is a concept from Dr. Gary Chapman, a relationship counselor and pastor, establishing that there are five primary “languages,” or methods, for expressing love to others. Chapman also says that everyone has one, or more, primary language that makes them feel most valued. The goal is for people to understand how to “speak” the language of their loved ones, understand how they personally accept love, and be able to receive—and speak—all the languages.
I already hear smirks or giggles from some who may think it’s a bunch of “psychobabble," but trust me, this is like, the best concept ever.
I’ve been enamored with The Love Languages for years. I first learned about them in a Bible Study in high school. The original book is about expressing the love languages in marriage, but the concept became so popular that books have been adapted for Singles, Teens, Kids and more. Plus, there are other “Fives” concepts (a Five Languages of Apology was released in the last couple years, which is almost as fabulous). In each book, the languages are the same but tailored to the audience. I purchased The Five Love Languages for Singles just last year, which talks about expressing love to everyone in your life. I hadn’t actually read much of it (but I’ve taken the quiz in the back like ten times), but I picked it up off my bookshelf a couple weeks ago and have been perusing sections of interest since; hence, this entry.
THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES
Anyway, to the meat: The Five Languages. In case you don’t already know them, they are Words of Affirmation; Gifts; Acts of Service; Quality Time and Physical Touch. At a basic level, the languages are self-explanatory, but I’ll also share a few not-so-evident details about them from the book:
Language #1: Words of Affirmation
The language of “Affirming” Words has many dialects (yes, I said dialects--and that is genius!). It is expressed by:
Words of Appreciation – expressing sincere gratitude for some act of service rendered(Five Love Language for Singles, by Gary Chapman, p. 51-54)
Words of Encouragement – “inspiring courage” in another through motivating or stimulating comments
Words of Praise – recognizing another’s accomplishments
Kind Words – choosing and expressing words in a heartwarming manner
Language #2: Gifts: Showing love by offering thoughtful, heartfelt and tangible symbols of appreciation (No Dialects) ( p. 67)
Language #3: Acts of Service - Looking out for the needs and desires of others and offering assistance accordingly (No Dialects) (p. 80-81)
Language # 4: Quality Time - Taking a period to connect with another person. Like Words of Affirmation, it also has many dialects:
Quality Conversation – making someone feel valued through discussion. The subcategories are Quality Hearing, focusing on what the other person is saying (the opposite of Words of Affirmation) and Quality Talking, offering meaningful comments as a result of properly hearing(p. 95 – 103)
Quality Listening – being “sympathetic [in hearing] with a view to understanding the other person.” (p. 97)
Quality Activities – Engaging in meaningful outings or tasks with another
Language #5: Physical Touch - affirming another through physical contact in a meaningful, appropriate and non-sexual manner (No Dialects) (p. 117-122)
MY LANGUAGES
I’m so fond of the languages because they’ve helped me understand the differences between how I give love and primarily receive it. It’s also helped me expand how I share love with others, as it’s meant to. Although I speak most of the love languages fluently, among them Words of Affirmation, the reality is Words of Affirmation is not even remotely my primary language. For example, I’m not much into receiving words of praise, i.e., compliments. In the past I couldn’t understand why comments such as “good job on that presentation” or “you look nice today” have so little effect on me—and at times I shrug them off. While I am learning to “receive” such compliments and they can be affirming at times, I’ve also realized that it’s just not what makes me feel the most valued.
My primary languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service, by a ridiculously wide margin.
For quality time, it’s not a “quantity” or “number of hours” thing, but what is done during that time—i.e., quality. It makes me feel valued when people take time out of their schedules, albeit a short period, to go somewhere meaningful—a place that is either important to them or me--and have good conversation there. I tend to enjoy smaller groups, or one-on-one time—because I feel like it’s such a great opportunity to connect. I also like it when I’m given—and give—undivided attention during that time, especially if it’s one-on-one; constantly checking out the new apps on the iPhone or responding to every buzz of the blackberry makes me feel insignificant, especially when I meet with someone for a short period. I also love building lasting memories with other people that are the result of quality time.
Acts of Service also are so important to me because I’m not very affected by what people say—good or bad, in my mind words are momentary—but I’m more affected by what people do. I treat words like actions, and don’t like when there’s a disconnect between what’s said and done. But the thought and effort that is often required to consider a need or desire and try to meet it with an “act” makes me so responsive to Acts of Service.
If there’s a language I’m lacking in fluency, it’s Physical Touch. I’ve always been critical of the cheap ways touch tends to be employed in our society, but the whole point of the language is not doing that. I’ve undervalued what a rub on the back or a kind hug can do to make another person feel special. I’m learning to speak this language, especially with people who hold it as their primary.
YOUR LANGUAGE(S)
I enjoy finding out others’ languages; in “quality activity” fashion, I’ve made many a friend take the quiz on a road trip. Most of the time there aren’t too many surprises in others’ scores—and we usually have some common language—hence our friendship, but every once in a while I discover there’s an additional language someone has that I’ve totally overlooked.
Also, while I can see the love languages are indeed useful for every relationship because the core "love" issues that bother us about friendships tend to be the same things that bother us about people in relationships—I can see how it’s especially useful for romantic relationships. As we often see and hear, men and women are fashioned very differently—particularly in communication. I think that, especially early on in a relationship, the love languages can help knit some of the divide that is present while initially getting to know someone romantically.
To find out your language, you can take a quiz. The online quiz is written for the marriage relationship, but the questions are the same even in the single context; the “you” in the questions would just be changed to something like “friend” or “coworker.” The maximum that you can score in any one area is 12 points. If you score the same for more than one language, you are “Bilingual.” Yes, The Love Languages have a language of interpretation “unto their own,” lol. Love it (the languages)!
WHY LANGUAGES?
I think learning to love others in many different ways is so important because of the treatment of love in God’s Word. Throughout the Bible, it is held as the highest calling. One of the great passages on love, I Corinthians 3:14-17, lists a number of virtues, but instructs us to, “above all, put on love,” because it “binds” all the other virtues in “perfect unity.”
We also cannot forget that The One who didn’t even spare His own Son did it for Love. And so I close with the ultimate command from Matthew 22: 34-40:
34Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" 37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'[a] 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'[b] 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Solitude (Favorites, Part 3)
I’ve written about my favorite Psalms and Names for God. This time I’ll talk about one of the Spiritual Disciplines that I “favor” currently : solitude.
I don’t have a favorite discipline as such; solitude is just the one God is using most in my life right now.
Loosely, solitude is spending time alone—in a quiet place—with God. In an article on the topic Bible Teacher Charles Swindoll notes that Jesus got up early in the morning to practice it, as evidenced in Mark chapter one. Swindoll also observes that solitude “helps filter out the essentials and sift away the nonessentials.”
I haven't always practiced solitude. Generally, in personal time with God I've been partial to the disciplines of study and worship. But I’ve learned that going some place really quiet to meet with God alone helps me communicate with Him so much more freely and, at the same time, recognize His power.
As I’ve said before, that place for me is in nature. I usually sit on a bench in a wooded area that’s hidden from plain view. I like to go in the morning, when the only sounds I hear are birds chirping, leaves blowing in the wind and squirrels scurrying across tree limbs. And I’m reminded that the Lord God made them all.
I usually start by talking to God aloud, telling Him whatever comes to mind. Then I’ll read my Bible and a devotional, and sometimes I’ll listen to a song. But then I put everything away and just keep talking to Him, aloud, and intimately.
The most amazing thing solitude is doing for my relationship with God is causing me to crave being in His presence both to worship and learn to be more like Him. It really is the first time in a while that I’m spending so little time praying for physical needs. Instead I’m asking God for the peace to live without worrying; have more of His heart; serve Him better. I’ve been listening to this Hillsong worship song, “Hosanna,” that sums up my prayer right now.
A couple summers ago during a stressful time when I also was sorely lacking peace, God brought Psalm 91 to my attention, which I’ve been meditating on periodically since (and love hearing Nicole C. Mullen sing; Track 6: "Under the Shadow"). It talks about the benefits totally trusting in God—dwelling—brings. It begins: “He who dwells in the secret place will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” Verse 4 continues: He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." I love the peaceful images words such as “rest”; “refuge;” “feathers”; “wings" and “shield” bring to mind. Since that summer, I’ve prayed that I would gain constant peace from dwelling. Through solitude, I’m getting there.
Second Peter 1: 5-8, one of my favorite passages, speaks of how were are to be unyielding in pursuing spiritual growth: "5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Practicing the spiritual disciplines helps us develop the kind of drive that’s necessary for steady, abiding growth in Christ. Which ones is God using in your life? Favorites, Part Three.
I don’t have a favorite discipline as such; solitude is just the one God is using most in my life right now.
Loosely, solitude is spending time alone—in a quiet place—with God. In an article on the topic Bible Teacher Charles Swindoll notes that Jesus got up early in the morning to practice it, as evidenced in Mark chapter one. Swindoll also observes that solitude “helps filter out the essentials and sift away the nonessentials.”
I haven't always practiced solitude. Generally, in personal time with God I've been partial to the disciplines of study and worship. But I’ve learned that going some place really quiet to meet with God alone helps me communicate with Him so much more freely and, at the same time, recognize His power.
As I’ve said before, that place for me is in nature. I usually sit on a bench in a wooded area that’s hidden from plain view. I like to go in the morning, when the only sounds I hear are birds chirping, leaves blowing in the wind and squirrels scurrying across tree limbs. And I’m reminded that the Lord God made them all.
I usually start by talking to God aloud, telling Him whatever comes to mind. Then I’ll read my Bible and a devotional, and sometimes I’ll listen to a song. But then I put everything away and just keep talking to Him, aloud, and intimately.
The most amazing thing solitude is doing for my relationship with God is causing me to crave being in His presence both to worship and learn to be more like Him. It really is the first time in a while that I’m spending so little time praying for physical needs. Instead I’m asking God for the peace to live without worrying; have more of His heart; serve Him better. I’ve been listening to this Hillsong worship song, “Hosanna,” that sums up my prayer right now.
A couple summers ago during a stressful time when I also was sorely lacking peace, God brought Psalm 91 to my attention, which I’ve been meditating on periodically since (and love hearing Nicole C. Mullen sing; Track 6: "Under the Shadow"). It talks about the benefits totally trusting in God—dwelling—brings. It begins: “He who dwells in the secret place will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” Verse 4 continues: He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." I love the peaceful images words such as “rest”; “refuge;” “feathers”; “wings" and “shield” bring to mind. Since that summer, I’ve prayed that I would gain constant peace from dwelling. Through solitude, I’m getting there.
Second Peter 1: 5-8, one of my favorite passages, speaks of how were are to be unyielding in pursuing spiritual growth: "5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Practicing the spiritual disciplines helps us develop the kind of drive that’s necessary for steady, abiding growth in Christ. Which ones is God using in your life? Favorites, Part Three.
Monday, October 05, 2009
Room for All
Today I had an embarrassing moment. It’s quite unusual for me to say that because I’ve been in enough rattling situations that I’ve become desensitized: I routinely miss written signs or posts, verbal or written hints (and sometimes plain questions or statements) and jokes. Plus I’ve tripped, dropped or spilled something at enough inopportune times that I can usually just shrug it off.
But back to today. The embarrassing moment—which also was private, thankfully— is mortifying enough that it won’t be stated online. But here I am more than happy to share about it in indescriptive terms--and a spiritual lesson from it.
The incident happened at work. I had an important event this afternoon that I had to leave at 11:00 am for, so to maximize my day I had arrived at the office just after 7. I expected a normal, productive morning. It started off that way, but just after an hour into it, a curveball was thrown when the unnamed incident occurred. Now I was unsure I would make it to my 11 am event—the one I couldn’t miss. In that moment, everything said my day could end up being a debacle that could only be solved with a pretty drastic solution that I just did not want to put anyone through—including myself.
If you knew the situation, you may wrinkle your nose a bit and say that perhaps it’s not as serious as I'm making it. Or you might agree. But whether big or small, in that moment I knew I had to ask God to get through it. Lord, I said, I do not know completely why I am in this situation, especially now, but please help me—save me from drama today!
Just in time—with 15 minutes to make it to my destination on time—God delivered me from it. And despite feeling a little drained throughout the day, the rest of it was peachy:).
I draw out my account of the incident because I think you can substitute any personal crisis for it—some problem, whether actually insignificant or not, that we wonder how we will get out of.
The next logical, expected spiritual parallel from this observation is that in those moments we always have the opportunity to call on the name of the Lord, but we don’t necessarily. While I think that is a noteworthy observation, my thoughts wander to a slightly different, but related one: we all have crises, but how we view any situation depends on what we believe. And what separates how we live is not so much what we feel in those moments–but what we do with our feelings.
I think as Christians we can be tempted to use crises as an excuse for spiritual stagnation. We think about how our situations are so much worse than those around us and are the reason we have not grown. We may say, If I were in his situation, my life would be so much easier, and I would have no trouble trusting God like he does. But because I’m dealing with this, I can’t be expected to give Him everything. He needs to give me a different life!
Granted, some people have rougher lives than others—but even then, the Word of God points out that there is nothing new under the sun —the crazy thing we think no one else experiences, there is someone on the globe with the same issue—but a different reaction.
I’m reminded of the story of Job. He was given everything—wealth; knowledge; a good reputation—much more. Satan told God he was sure that if Job was given trouble in life, he would turn away from God—even curse Him. But God had confidence that no matter what crisis was given Job, in the end Job would praise Him (Job 1: 6-12). And that is exactly what happened: God took everything from Job, and he still praised Him. At the end of the many crises (by any definition), he was given double the blessings he had before them (42:10, 12), and he died “old and full of his years” (42:17).
The truth is, we as humans cannot be a true judge of another’s heart. People can show us snippets of their hearts, but only God has the full picture. Some people who claim the name of God and are in wonderful situations really have hearts that do not honor Him—but there are others who would honor Him regardless of what would be thrown at them. But because we weren’t born with heart thermometers, we really don’t know! As a result, the time that is spent comparing our lives to others—and saying why me—is wasted, unproductive energy that blocks us from seeing God’s amazing plans for each of us.
No matter what our circumstance, as Christians, our aim should be to walk humbly and closely with our God. When we do, we allow Him to refine and fill us. And when we are living the full life that we were uniquely (and individually) created to live, we stop being concerned about how our lives compare to others, or how our crises “set us up” for spiritual failure. Instead, we live knowing that we can accomplish anything in Christ, if we lack something we can ask Him for it with a pure heart, and that no one can duplicate His plan for each of us. With Christ, as they say, the sky is the limit—for all of us!
Regardless of what crises we face in this life, big or small, we are all susceptible, for one reason or another, to the same emotions. Ultimately, as Christians our ability to grow spiritually isn't about what we experience, but what we let Him do with our experiences. And if we want to see big things happen in our lives—in and through Him—we have to look beyond our crises and into His incredibly long, outstretched arms that have enough room to love all of us into our unique, grand destinies.
But back to today. The embarrassing moment—which also was private, thankfully— is mortifying enough that it won’t be stated online. But here I am more than happy to share about it in indescriptive terms--and a spiritual lesson from it.
The incident happened at work. I had an important event this afternoon that I had to leave at 11:00 am for, so to maximize my day I had arrived at the office just after 7. I expected a normal, productive morning. It started off that way, but just after an hour into it, a curveball was thrown when the unnamed incident occurred. Now I was unsure I would make it to my 11 am event—the one I couldn’t miss. In that moment, everything said my day could end up being a debacle that could only be solved with a pretty drastic solution that I just did not want to put anyone through—including myself.
If you knew the situation, you may wrinkle your nose a bit and say that perhaps it’s not as serious as I'm making it. Or you might agree. But whether big or small, in that moment I knew I had to ask God to get through it. Lord, I said, I do not know completely why I am in this situation, especially now, but please help me—save me from drama today!
Just in time—with 15 minutes to make it to my destination on time—God delivered me from it. And despite feeling a little drained throughout the day, the rest of it was peachy:).
I draw out my account of the incident because I think you can substitute any personal crisis for it—some problem, whether actually insignificant or not, that we wonder how we will get out of.
The next logical, expected spiritual parallel from this observation is that in those moments we always have the opportunity to call on the name of the Lord, but we don’t necessarily. While I think that is a noteworthy observation, my thoughts wander to a slightly different, but related one: we all have crises, but how we view any situation depends on what we believe. And what separates how we live is not so much what we feel in those moments–but what we do with our feelings.
I think as Christians we can be tempted to use crises as an excuse for spiritual stagnation. We think about how our situations are so much worse than those around us and are the reason we have not grown. We may say, If I were in his situation, my life would be so much easier, and I would have no trouble trusting God like he does. But because I’m dealing with this, I can’t be expected to give Him everything. He needs to give me a different life!
Granted, some people have rougher lives than others—but even then, the Word of God points out that there is nothing new under the sun —the crazy thing we think no one else experiences, there is someone on the globe with the same issue—but a different reaction.
I’m reminded of the story of Job. He was given everything—wealth; knowledge; a good reputation—much more. Satan told God he was sure that if Job was given trouble in life, he would turn away from God—even curse Him. But God had confidence that no matter what crisis was given Job, in the end Job would praise Him (Job 1: 6-12). And that is exactly what happened: God took everything from Job, and he still praised Him. At the end of the many crises (by any definition), he was given double the blessings he had before them (42:10, 12), and he died “old and full of his years” (42:17).
The truth is, we as humans cannot be a true judge of another’s heart. People can show us snippets of their hearts, but only God has the full picture. Some people who claim the name of God and are in wonderful situations really have hearts that do not honor Him—but there are others who would honor Him regardless of what would be thrown at them. But because we weren’t born with heart thermometers, we really don’t know! As a result, the time that is spent comparing our lives to others—and saying why me—is wasted, unproductive energy that blocks us from seeing God’s amazing plans for each of us.
No matter what our circumstance, as Christians, our aim should be to walk humbly and closely with our God. When we do, we allow Him to refine and fill us. And when we are living the full life that we were uniquely (and individually) created to live, we stop being concerned about how our lives compare to others, or how our crises “set us up” for spiritual failure. Instead, we live knowing that we can accomplish anything in Christ, if we lack something we can ask Him for it with a pure heart, and that no one can duplicate His plan for each of us. With Christ, as they say, the sky is the limit—for all of us!
Regardless of what crises we face in this life, big or small, we are all susceptible, for one reason or another, to the same emotions. Ultimately, as Christians our ability to grow spiritually isn't about what we experience, but what we let Him do with our experiences. And if we want to see big things happen in our lives—in and through Him—we have to look beyond our crises and into His incredibly long, outstretched arms that have enough room to love all of us into our unique, grand destinies.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Burnout
The title: it’s a topic I’ve wanted to discuss for a while—my own experience, and what God says about burnout.
I’m loosely defining burnout as feeling down or stressed about something to the point that it consumes you.
A couple months ago I felt burnout. At that point I had been going through the “Godmotions” of Bible study, fellowship, and prayer, but the rest of the day I was meditating on my worries--often subconsciously. I remember mentioning to some friends in a meeting around that time that I was missing the peace of God in my life. The difference was so clear.
At that point I knew I had to make some changes. I considered my distractions and eliminated them. I also gave my worries to God by confessing them and asking Him to retake control of them. Also, I’ve just been spending more personal time talking with Him and meditating on scripture in different forms—through verses; songs; messages and books. And I have felt the peace of God return in my life. The last few weeks have been noticeably different from the ones before—in a word, amazing!
As I've seen burnout in my own life, I've also observed it in others' as well. At times we just get down about things—maybe it’s worry; perhaps we’re just physically tired; our lives may not be what we want them to be; people close to us may have hurt us; we feel unappreciated or unloved.
In burnout we have a choice of what will “refuel” us: Christ, or something (or someone) else. What we allow to replenish us is such a critical decision, one that is often the difference between bad and good results later.
One passage God has used to show me this lesson is Galatians 6:7-10. I’ll split it into a few parts:
7Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
I love the theme of sowing. It really highlights the time it takes for us to see outcomes in life--positive or negative. You don't plant some tomato seeds and the next day, whoa, end up with plump, juicy tomatoes--they take time to grow--or not. And what we do in our sowing time determines what we'll produce.
Verses 7-8a are a warning: if we sow to the flesh, we reap destruction. That's why sometimes when we make wrong decisions—maybe in burnout— initially we don't see anything negative. Everything seems perfectly fine--sometimes great. But then when reaping time comes and we produce pain, it's not so fine. And sometimes we blame God for our troubles, but His word is clear: choosing a way apart Him does not provide a positive outcome.
On the other hand, when we choose to honor God it shows, as verse 8 also highlights--we reap life: “the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.”
And there's more, such wonderful words of encouragement and promise in verse 9 that can help us to choose Him in burnout:
9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
A harvest--powerful! I’ll highlight a few definitions of harvest:
As a Noun:
Notice the positive connotations associated with "harvest," especially with the verb definition: i.e., “gain” or “win”. Also, a “yield” or “supply” signifies positive return. The passage only discusses harvest in the context of sowing to the spirit—not the flesh--sowing to the flesh does not produce harvest.
Further, elsewhere in scripture God is referred to as the "Lord of the harvest." According to the definition of harvest, that would make Him the Producer—the One who creates it. What better reason to trust Him as we sow!
Also note the “proper time” element. One reason it can be hard to keep doing good is that, well, sometimes we don’t see results for a long time. And in those moments we often choose to look around at other people who seem to be better off than us despite the fact that they appear not to have been sowing to righteousness for very long—or at all. Rather than compare and judge, we should remember that not every harvest is for the same crop. Some harvests take longer to reap; God may take us through a difficult time for years. But as the definitions note, a harvest is the culmination of a “growing” time that ends in “maturity”—after God has taught us something from which we blossom!
During sowing time is an opportunity to hold fast to His promises and choose life in all we do-because whatever the length of that season, for those who are faithful there is a good result: we will--not might—reap a harvest if (on the condition that) we do not give up.
In Galatians following the promise of harvest is a conclusion about how we should treat others:
10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.
I love that direction, “especially the family of believers.” We're a body in Christ, and it's His job to vindicate us at the right time; our only responsibility is to do good. That means that we love others unconditionally—no matter how they treat us. That’s a challenge—but remember it comes with a promise!
Finally, the fact that God often gives us time to see results—good or bad—means that we have a chance to change course before reaping time. If we're sowing to unrighteousness and God gives us an opportunity to sow seeds of righteousness—we should take it. Jesus says that if we confess, He is faithful to forgive us of our sin , making us right with Him. Because of his death on the cross we are not his enemies if we accept Him--no matter what our guilt or others may say. Before reaping time, we can make a change that will produce a harvest later.
The key to avoiding burnout is choosing to sow seeds of righteousness daily, letting the Lord of the Harvest produce something wonderful out of them. There is no better ending to this entry than repeating the promise and conclusion from Galatians 9-10:
“9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”
Amen!
I’m loosely defining burnout as feeling down or stressed about something to the point that it consumes you.
A couple months ago I felt burnout. At that point I had been going through the “Godmotions” of Bible study, fellowship, and prayer, but the rest of the day I was meditating on my worries--often subconsciously. I remember mentioning to some friends in a meeting around that time that I was missing the peace of God in my life. The difference was so clear.
At that point I knew I had to make some changes. I considered my distractions and eliminated them. I also gave my worries to God by confessing them and asking Him to retake control of them. Also, I’ve just been spending more personal time talking with Him and meditating on scripture in different forms—through verses; songs; messages and books. And I have felt the peace of God return in my life. The last few weeks have been noticeably different from the ones before—in a word, amazing!
As I've seen burnout in my own life, I've also observed it in others' as well. At times we just get down about things—maybe it’s worry; perhaps we’re just physically tired; our lives may not be what we want them to be; people close to us may have hurt us; we feel unappreciated or unloved.
In burnout we have a choice of what will “refuel” us: Christ, or something (or someone) else. What we allow to replenish us is such a critical decision, one that is often the difference between bad and good results later.
One passage God has used to show me this lesson is Galatians 6:7-10. I’ll split it into a few parts:
7Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
I love the theme of sowing. It really highlights the time it takes for us to see outcomes in life--positive or negative. You don't plant some tomato seeds and the next day, whoa, end up with plump, juicy tomatoes--they take time to grow--or not. And what we do in our sowing time determines what we'll produce.
Verses 7-8a are a warning: if we sow to the flesh, we reap destruction. That's why sometimes when we make wrong decisions—maybe in burnout— initially we don't see anything negative. Everything seems perfectly fine--sometimes great. But then when reaping time comes and we produce pain, it's not so fine. And sometimes we blame God for our troubles, but His word is clear: choosing a way apart Him does not provide a positive outcome.
On the other hand, when we choose to honor God it shows, as verse 8 also highlights--we reap life: “the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.”
And there's more, such wonderful words of encouragement and promise in verse 9 that can help us to choose Him in burnout:
9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
A harvest--powerful! I’ll highlight a few definitions of harvest:
As a Noun:
-The season when ripened crops are gatheredAs a Verb:
-A crop or yield of one growing season
-A supply of anything gathered at maturity and stored: a harvest of wheat
-The result or consequence of any act, process, or event: The journey yielded a harvest of wonderful memories.
-To gain, win, acquire, or use (a prize, product, or result of any past act, process, plan, etc.).
Notice the positive connotations associated with "harvest," especially with the verb definition: i.e., “gain” or “win”. Also, a “yield” or “supply” signifies positive return. The passage only discusses harvest in the context of sowing to the spirit—not the flesh--sowing to the flesh does not produce harvest.
Further, elsewhere in scripture God is referred to as the "Lord of the harvest." According to the definition of harvest, that would make Him the Producer—the One who creates it. What better reason to trust Him as we sow!
Also note the “proper time” element. One reason it can be hard to keep doing good is that, well, sometimes we don’t see results for a long time. And in those moments we often choose to look around at other people who seem to be better off than us despite the fact that they appear not to have been sowing to righteousness for very long—or at all. Rather than compare and judge, we should remember that not every harvest is for the same crop. Some harvests take longer to reap; God may take us through a difficult time for years. But as the definitions note, a harvest is the culmination of a “growing” time that ends in “maturity”—after God has taught us something from which we blossom!
During sowing time is an opportunity to hold fast to His promises and choose life in all we do-because whatever the length of that season, for those who are faithful there is a good result: we will--not might—reap a harvest if (on the condition that) we do not give up.
In Galatians following the promise of harvest is a conclusion about how we should treat others:
10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.
I love that direction, “especially the family of believers.” We're a body in Christ, and it's His job to vindicate us at the right time; our only responsibility is to do good. That means that we love others unconditionally—no matter how they treat us. That’s a challenge—but remember it comes with a promise!
Finally, the fact that God often gives us time to see results—good or bad—means that we have a chance to change course before reaping time. If we're sowing to unrighteousness and God gives us an opportunity to sow seeds of righteousness—we should take it. Jesus says that if we confess, He is faithful to forgive us of our sin , making us right with Him. Because of his death on the cross we are not his enemies if we accept Him--no matter what our guilt or others may say. Before reaping time, we can make a change that will produce a harvest later.
The key to avoiding burnout is choosing to sow seeds of righteousness daily, letting the Lord of the Harvest produce something wonderful out of them. There is no better ending to this entry than repeating the promise and conclusion from Galatians 9-10:
“9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”
Amen!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Closer to Thee
Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about walking with God daily. I’ve been meditating on Psalm 119: 1-16, which lists the benefits of keeping God’s commands and explains how to keep them faithfully. The psalmist also provides a personal touch by sharing how he has sought God with all of his heart. It’s a passionate and personal account, one that should be both an encouragement and challenge for Christians to make pursing God daily our aim.
I won’t dissect the passage--I think reading the psalm is better than me explaining it:). But I will share some lessons from it.
First, it highlights the fact that really living for Christ every day is so contradictory to our world—and what we often say even as Christians. This passage says that if we walk with God daily—seek him with all of our hearts; meditate on His word; focus on Him and praise Him—we can live upright and avoid sin. We say we’re only human, it’s impossible to follow God’s ways completely and we should just go after whatever makes us happy at the moment rather than seek what He has for us.
But again, the psalmist sees true life in following God’s commands. He gets excited—“rejoices… delights” (v. 14; 16) in God’s model for righteousness. And he prays that as he seeks God with all of his heart, God keeps him from stumbling. He is relentless in his pursuit of life with God and trusts God to give him the strength to choose it consistently (v. 5-8). This passage is such an example for us!
Second, it makes me think about my walk. Recently I’ve been pondering my limits. There’s so much I want to accomplish—so many things I want to be to others and myself—but I fall short of those goals. I want to be totally loving and forgiving always—but I’m not always. I want to do my very best at work all the time, for His glory—but at times I don’t. I want to support like, all these causes—but I can’t do everything.
But the “I” is the problem. Living an upright life requires going to The Source daily. And it begins with deciding there is nothing greater in this life than what God has planned for me. Once I make that choice, I am able to live uprightly, correct myself when I stray (and stray less), focus less on my limits and see Him accomplish His plan in my life. That is one reason daily time in God’s Word, as the psalm also underscores, is so important: it gives us constant direction!
This month I’ve made a commitment to seek God daily in a particular quiet place—a special place in nature where I love talking to God. For some reason going there and sitting on a hand-crafted wood bench, listening to the birds chirp, crickets buzz and looking at the tall deciduous trees covering the sky above me—and the air around me—make me think of both the vastness of His splendor and the nearness of His presence. And when I feel that free, I talk to Him so openly, hear Him speak clearly and feel the peace only He can dole.
He's teaching me things. Right now it's how to surrender my desires completely to Him. Yeah, it’s one of those ongoing lessons:). He’s also showing me the beauty of His forgiveness—how it gives me the freedom to keep moving after I sin when I would have been inclined to shrink back in guilt. In a couple words, I’m growing!
Jesus said in John 10:10 that He came for us to have life--and have it “more abundantly,” or, “to the full.” That doesn’t just mean having eternal life by praying the “Sinner’s Prayer” for salvation, but also being full every day after that decision. And when we daily walk uprightly as the psalmist describes, we tap into that abundant life that He has for us. Yes, God isn’t here to meet our expectations, but when we seek Him, He can specialize in blowing our minds. That’s yet another reason to choose Him every day!
There’s an (old) hymn that comes to mind, “Just a Closer Walk with Thee.” I really like the chorus:
That’s basically the psalmist’s prayer in Psalm 119. And I pray it’s yours, too.
I won’t dissect the passage--I think reading the psalm is better than me explaining it:). But I will share some lessons from it.
First, it highlights the fact that really living for Christ every day is so contradictory to our world—and what we often say even as Christians. This passage says that if we walk with God daily—seek him with all of our hearts; meditate on His word; focus on Him and praise Him—we can live upright and avoid sin. We say we’re only human, it’s impossible to follow God’s ways completely and we should just go after whatever makes us happy at the moment rather than seek what He has for us.
But again, the psalmist sees true life in following God’s commands. He gets excited—“rejoices… delights” (v. 14; 16) in God’s model for righteousness. And he prays that as he seeks God with all of his heart, God keeps him from stumbling. He is relentless in his pursuit of life with God and trusts God to give him the strength to choose it consistently (v. 5-8). This passage is such an example for us!
Second, it makes me think about my walk. Recently I’ve been pondering my limits. There’s so much I want to accomplish—so many things I want to be to others and myself—but I fall short of those goals. I want to be totally loving and forgiving always—but I’m not always. I want to do my very best at work all the time, for His glory—but at times I don’t. I want to support like, all these causes—but I can’t do everything.
But the “I” is the problem. Living an upright life requires going to The Source daily. And it begins with deciding there is nothing greater in this life than what God has planned for me. Once I make that choice, I am able to live uprightly, correct myself when I stray (and stray less), focus less on my limits and see Him accomplish His plan in my life. That is one reason daily time in God’s Word, as the psalm also underscores, is so important: it gives us constant direction!
This month I’ve made a commitment to seek God daily in a particular quiet place—a special place in nature where I love talking to God. For some reason going there and sitting on a hand-crafted wood bench, listening to the birds chirp, crickets buzz and looking at the tall deciduous trees covering the sky above me—and the air around me—make me think of both the vastness of His splendor and the nearness of His presence. And when I feel that free, I talk to Him so openly, hear Him speak clearly and feel the peace only He can dole.
He's teaching me things. Right now it's how to surrender my desires completely to Him. Yeah, it’s one of those ongoing lessons:). He’s also showing me the beauty of His forgiveness—how it gives me the freedom to keep moving after I sin when I would have been inclined to shrink back in guilt. In a couple words, I’m growing!
Jesus said in John 10:10 that He came for us to have life--and have it “more abundantly,” or, “to the full.” That doesn’t just mean having eternal life by praying the “Sinner’s Prayer” for salvation, but also being full every day after that decision. And when we daily walk uprightly as the psalmist describes, we tap into that abundant life that He has for us. Yes, God isn’t here to meet our expectations, but when we seek Him, He can specialize in blowing our minds. That’s yet another reason to choose Him every day!
There’s an (old) hymn that comes to mind, “Just a Closer Walk with Thee.” I really like the chorus:
Just a closer walk with Thee,
Grant it, Jesus, is my plea,
Daily walking close to Thee,
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.
That’s basically the psalmist’s prayer in Psalm 119. And I pray it’s yours, too.
Monday, August 17, 2009
My Five Moments on Purity (A Mini Bio)
Okay, you know how I write both long and short (but mostly long) entries? I started writing this one giving my testimony on purity and could not stop. Think of it as an online opinion article (rather than a blog entry)…
It’s almost here: the Worth the Wait 2009 Runway Show! Amid practicing my walk and, admittedly, a few shopping trips to get hot gear to go with our “Worth the Wait” tees, I’ve been thinking about my own “purity” journey. Here, you’ll be taking it with me.
Prelude: This Purity “Thing”
Because there are so many misconceptions about purity, whenever I discuss it I define it. The purity I am talking about is a commitment not just to refrain from sex outside marriage, but also other physical contact that could lead judgment about another person to be clouded—and cause a loss of focus on Christ and obeying His commands. Further, seeing God’s best in relationships requires pursuing Him daily, in every other aspect of life.
Purity is not “patting myself on the back” for the physical things I have not done—or “beating myself up” about things I have done. God does not care about the “good” things we do on our own strength, but rather that we are seeking Him completely, with all our hearts. Also, because there is always forgiveness in Christ, decisions made in the past—or future—cannot keep us from purity if we confess and change.
MY STORY
It took many years for me to understand true purity—and I’m still learning nuggets about it. Growing up I was always told not to have sex, but I was never really given many details about purity. Nevertheless, what I did learn early is part of the process that has led me to the present. To date, five defining moments along the way come to mind…
Moment One: Signing the “True Love Waits” Pledge (’95, ’96)
In seventh or eighth grade I signed a purity pledge at church youth group. I remember God prodding me to do it that day. About that time, He placed a strong desire in me to pursue purity—even though I had no idea of the challenges ahead. But making the commitment by signing the pledge put my journey on wheels. I treasure Moment One.
Moment Two: The Encounter that Sparked The Vision (’00)
A commitment is usually not refined until it is tested, and I got my first real challenge to purity in college. Freshman year, first semester, I met this “really nice,” cute guy. A couple months after we started hanging out, I ended up alone in his dorm with the door closed, lights dim and mood-setting music (in my naiveté, I honestly believed he wanted help with an English paper). As he tried to let me know what he really wanted from me, I remember feeling a rush of emotion: fear, confusion, excitement…But it was very quick; in that moment, I also had to decide whether to stay. I am so thankful His Spirit pushed me to leave –and without incident.
That encounter made me realize that living out purity as an adult would require investing in the right kind of relationships. I knew I needed to have a vision, so I started making a list of what I wanted in a guy. I know a popular idea is to dispense with a list--e.g., “it’s unrealistic;” “there’s no such thing as a perfect guy;” “a list doesn’t allow you to be open to a good thing that might come your way.” But I believe a list is never the enemy; the only potential evil is what is on it. A list done right is a vision. We are called to have direction in everything we do—and we fail without it.
Because I gave my list to God, He showed me what I needed to change. I wrote what I wanted in every area: first spiritually, and then other aspects such as interpersonally, emotionally and physically. God informed me there were some things on the list that were inconsequential or arbitrary (e.g., height: I apparently felt I needed someone who was between 6’1 1/2 and 6’4. But all I really cared about was that the guy was at least a little taller than me. God pretty much said it was okay for me to go with “about 5’9 and above,” and, thankfully, I’ve never had to walk around with a 6-foot plus tape measure, lol). Needless to say, “really nice, cute guy” from Freshman Year didn’t meet the standard. But he was instrumental in helping me develop one, so I give him a nod in Moment Two on my purity journey.
Moment Three: The Talk with A Friend Who Said “I Do” (’01, ’02)
My purity path has not only been defined by my experiences, but also those of others. About the year I made the list—my sophomore one in college— I had a heart-to-heart with a friend from elementary school. She let me know she’d been seeing this guy, it was getting serious and they would probably be getting married in a couple years (after they finished college). But she said something else that took me aback: she wouldn’t be kissing him until they got engaged.
I was a little shocked to hear that. I had always felt that kisses should be more special than most people made them—and I hadn’t kissed anyone yet—but I still wanted to kiss the right guy in the right relationship. I asked her why she made that choice. She said because she didn’t want to end up in a situation where she couldn’t stop herself from going farther than she’d want—she also had committed to purity.
Her words struck me. I had kind of heard about the whole “no kissing thing” (there was this popular book “I Kiss Dating Goodbye” that had touched on it, although I never read it), but I didn’t know anyone who actually made the commitment. Also, I had never thought about the fact that hormones could kick in and cause me to lose control. I just sort of assumed that because I really wanted to pursue purity, and with all my heart, that would never happen.
That day I didn’t make a commitment not to kiss until I was engaged like my friend, who, in fact, got married two years after that. But our conversation has been cemented in my memory, and, in time, helped me realize that walking in purity in a relationship would require making defensive decisions that prevent the sticky situations before they happen. Mrs. M, you get Moment Three.
Moment Four: The Lesson from LSAT Class that Renewed The Vision (’04)
As I said in Moment Two, I believe there is nothing wrong—and everything right—with a list, as long as you let God refine it. After college, I needed to let God sharpen mine. During it many experiences I’d had with others and time with God had strengthened my commitment to purity. But after it, I was still single.
Shortly before graduation, God had amicably (but strongly) closed the door to a potential relationship; although the guy was a wonderful Man of God whom I found very attractive, God let both of us know that our purposes were at odds. I know I felt peaceful about the fact that God had given us both such a resounding “No”—I’ve never had to wonder about the outcome—but I was still a little disappointed.
Instead of mope, I got ready for the next chapter of my life: law school. I enrolled in an LSAT Prep class. Throughout it this guy kept trying to flirt with me. At first I ignored him, but by the end of the class we’d had a few cool conversations, so I thought he was alright. And I did have to admit he was good looking.
I don’t mind being his friend, I remember saying to myself. But I knew he was interested in more than friendship. I gave him my number and, sure enough, he called me after the exam.
It took one, hour-long conversation for me to "x" him out in the relationship context because spiritually, he did not meet the criteria. I knew what I wanted—and what God wanted for me: a man who had a “strong relationship with God,” as then stated on my list. This guy couldn’t say he was saved, and also freely referred to God as “The Big Man Upstairs” (I am not trying to denigrate him, but illustrate that I knew clearly he was not the kind of guy God desired for me). Needless to say, he wasn’t down with the whole purity thing, which I had discussed with him “just to be clear.”
I also told him we could not have a relationship. He said that was cool, but wanted to know if we could “just be friends.” If this had been a year earlier, I would have said “no;” I have enough friends. But, admittedly, at the time I was a little bored and feeling a little lonely, so I reasoned that it was alright for us to be merely friends (a “male companion,” as one of my friends generally liked to put such interaction). Plus, a part of me enjoyed the debates we had over almost anything (we agreed about very little—which should have been another “hint hint” to cut any guise of friendship).
But what God showed me after I had been hanging out with him on and off for few months was that the time we were spending was absolutely pointless—a detour. God reminded me that having vision, particularly in the context of purity, means avoiding company that is distraction. We may not have been dating per se, but spending time with him—especially alone—was opening the door for something to happen if I had a weak moment. And true vision does not lose focus no matter what the circumstance.
Also, like my “Moment Three” talk with my friend a few years earlier, I was reminded that a commitment to purity is not just about me, but also how I interact with others. I hadn’t tried to, but I realized that I had led the guy on. On one hand, I said we couldn’t have a relationship, but I knew he was interested despite the fact that he said he wasn’t. Granted, he could have stopped talking to me—but I am not responsible for his actions. I am responsible only for my own. And a woman who walks in purity has a singular focus—to please Christ. She gets her confidence from Him and His Word, and doesn’t need attention from any man, in whole or part. I am thankful I have not since been in that situation; if a guy does not fit the vision, it doesn’t matter what he says or does: I look the other way! And it is liberating...
So how did the experience refine my list specifically? It made me realize that as I focus more on my relationship with God, my desire to be with a true Man of God has deepened. Before, I was comfortable with listing spiritual attributes such as “a strong relationship with God” or “a heart for God.” Granted, I still want those things, but God showed me that I needed to be more specific both on the list and in my observation. Now I must have a man who will get “down, dirty and twisted up” for Christ (tacky, perhaps, but I love that description:))—and fit in my purpose. And as I pursue purity in my personal relationship with God, I have become more attuned to recognizing that kind of man. God, thank you for Moment Four!
Moment Five: The Ring to the Present (’07-Now)
The final defining “moment” (my definition of “moment” has expanded since the beginning) in my purity journey thus far is purchasing a purity ring in ’07, which you can read about here since I just wrote about it. I’ve had challenges over this period, too, but I have never felt more equipped to walk in purity than now. During these “post-ring” years is when God brought “Worth the Wait” to encourage me—and minister to others—on the quest. I’m pretty much still basking in Moment Five…
Postlude
Looking back on the last fourteen or so years since I took the purity pledge, I am so thankful for God’s past—and continued—grace along the way. I am floored by how much He has protected me from—and poured into me. I firmly believe that a willing heart—even a somewhat naïve one—is the “raw material” that God uses to give us the strength to make--and keep--bold commitments for Him. In pledging purity we must constantly put aside our own strength; our guilt about past decisions; our doubts—knowing that He will shape our futures and give us the desires of our heart if we only commit them to Him.
That’s my story—in five— so far.
It’s almost here: the Worth the Wait 2009 Runway Show! Amid practicing my walk and, admittedly, a few shopping trips to get hot gear to go with our “Worth the Wait” tees, I’ve been thinking about my own “purity” journey. Here, you’ll be taking it with me.
Prelude: This Purity “Thing”
Because there are so many misconceptions about purity, whenever I discuss it I define it. The purity I am talking about is a commitment not just to refrain from sex outside marriage, but also other physical contact that could lead judgment about another person to be clouded—and cause a loss of focus on Christ and obeying His commands. Further, seeing God’s best in relationships requires pursuing Him daily, in every other aspect of life.
Purity is not “patting myself on the back” for the physical things I have not done—or “beating myself up” about things I have done. God does not care about the “good” things we do on our own strength, but rather that we are seeking Him completely, with all our hearts. Also, because there is always forgiveness in Christ, decisions made in the past—or future—cannot keep us from purity if we confess and change.
MY STORY
It took many years for me to understand true purity—and I’m still learning nuggets about it. Growing up I was always told not to have sex, but I was never really given many details about purity. Nevertheless, what I did learn early is part of the process that has led me to the present. To date, five defining moments along the way come to mind…
Moment One: Signing the “True Love Waits” Pledge (’95, ’96)
In seventh or eighth grade I signed a purity pledge at church youth group. I remember God prodding me to do it that day. About that time, He placed a strong desire in me to pursue purity—even though I had no idea of the challenges ahead. But making the commitment by signing the pledge put my journey on wheels. I treasure Moment One.
Moment Two: The Encounter that Sparked The Vision (’00)
A commitment is usually not refined until it is tested, and I got my first real challenge to purity in college. Freshman year, first semester, I met this “really nice,” cute guy. A couple months after we started hanging out, I ended up alone in his dorm with the door closed, lights dim and mood-setting music (in my naiveté, I honestly believed he wanted help with an English paper). As he tried to let me know what he really wanted from me, I remember feeling a rush of emotion: fear, confusion, excitement…But it was very quick; in that moment, I also had to decide whether to stay. I am so thankful His Spirit pushed me to leave –and without incident.
That encounter made me realize that living out purity as an adult would require investing in the right kind of relationships. I knew I needed to have a vision, so I started making a list of what I wanted in a guy. I know a popular idea is to dispense with a list--e.g., “it’s unrealistic;” “there’s no such thing as a perfect guy;” “a list doesn’t allow you to be open to a good thing that might come your way.” But I believe a list is never the enemy; the only potential evil is what is on it. A list done right is a vision. We are called to have direction in everything we do—and we fail without it.
Because I gave my list to God, He showed me what I needed to change. I wrote what I wanted in every area: first spiritually, and then other aspects such as interpersonally, emotionally and physically. God informed me there were some things on the list that were inconsequential or arbitrary (e.g., height: I apparently felt I needed someone who was between 6’1 1/2 and 6’4. But all I really cared about was that the guy was at least a little taller than me. God pretty much said it was okay for me to go with “about 5’9 and above,” and, thankfully, I’ve never had to walk around with a 6-foot plus tape measure, lol). Needless to say, “really nice, cute guy” from Freshman Year didn’t meet the standard. But he was instrumental in helping me develop one, so I give him a nod in Moment Two on my purity journey.
Moment Three: The Talk with A Friend Who Said “I Do” (’01, ’02)
My purity path has not only been defined by my experiences, but also those of others. About the year I made the list—my sophomore one in college— I had a heart-to-heart with a friend from elementary school. She let me know she’d been seeing this guy, it was getting serious and they would probably be getting married in a couple years (after they finished college). But she said something else that took me aback: she wouldn’t be kissing him until they got engaged.
I was a little shocked to hear that. I had always felt that kisses should be more special than most people made them—and I hadn’t kissed anyone yet—but I still wanted to kiss the right guy in the right relationship. I asked her why she made that choice. She said because she didn’t want to end up in a situation where she couldn’t stop herself from going farther than she’d want—she also had committed to purity.
Her words struck me. I had kind of heard about the whole “no kissing thing” (there was this popular book “I Kiss Dating Goodbye” that had touched on it, although I never read it), but I didn’t know anyone who actually made the commitment. Also, I had never thought about the fact that hormones could kick in and cause me to lose control. I just sort of assumed that because I really wanted to pursue purity, and with all my heart, that would never happen.
That day I didn’t make a commitment not to kiss until I was engaged like my friend, who, in fact, got married two years after that. But our conversation has been cemented in my memory, and, in time, helped me realize that walking in purity in a relationship would require making defensive decisions that prevent the sticky situations before they happen. Mrs. M, you get Moment Three.
Moment Four: The Lesson from LSAT Class that Renewed The Vision (’04)
As I said in Moment Two, I believe there is nothing wrong—and everything right—with a list, as long as you let God refine it. After college, I needed to let God sharpen mine. During it many experiences I’d had with others and time with God had strengthened my commitment to purity. But after it, I was still single.
Shortly before graduation, God had amicably (but strongly) closed the door to a potential relationship; although the guy was a wonderful Man of God whom I found very attractive, God let both of us know that our purposes were at odds. I know I felt peaceful about the fact that God had given us both such a resounding “No”—I’ve never had to wonder about the outcome—but I was still a little disappointed.
Instead of mope, I got ready for the next chapter of my life: law school. I enrolled in an LSAT Prep class. Throughout it this guy kept trying to flirt with me. At first I ignored him, but by the end of the class we’d had a few cool conversations, so I thought he was alright. And I did have to admit he was good looking.
I don’t mind being his friend, I remember saying to myself. But I knew he was interested in more than friendship. I gave him my number and, sure enough, he called me after the exam.
It took one, hour-long conversation for me to "x" him out in the relationship context because spiritually, he did not meet the criteria. I knew what I wanted—and what God wanted for me: a man who had a “strong relationship with God,” as then stated on my list. This guy couldn’t say he was saved, and also freely referred to God as “The Big Man Upstairs” (I am not trying to denigrate him, but illustrate that I knew clearly he was not the kind of guy God desired for me). Needless to say, he wasn’t down with the whole purity thing, which I had discussed with him “just to be clear.”
I also told him we could not have a relationship. He said that was cool, but wanted to know if we could “just be friends.” If this had been a year earlier, I would have said “no;” I have enough friends. But, admittedly, at the time I was a little bored and feeling a little lonely, so I reasoned that it was alright for us to be merely friends (a “male companion,” as one of my friends generally liked to put such interaction). Plus, a part of me enjoyed the debates we had over almost anything (we agreed about very little—which should have been another “hint hint” to cut any guise of friendship).
But what God showed me after I had been hanging out with him on and off for few months was that the time we were spending was absolutely pointless—a detour. God reminded me that having vision, particularly in the context of purity, means avoiding company that is distraction. We may not have been dating per se, but spending time with him—especially alone—was opening the door for something to happen if I had a weak moment. And true vision does not lose focus no matter what the circumstance.
Also, like my “Moment Three” talk with my friend a few years earlier, I was reminded that a commitment to purity is not just about me, but also how I interact with others. I hadn’t tried to, but I realized that I had led the guy on. On one hand, I said we couldn’t have a relationship, but I knew he was interested despite the fact that he said he wasn’t. Granted, he could have stopped talking to me—but I am not responsible for his actions. I am responsible only for my own. And a woman who walks in purity has a singular focus—to please Christ. She gets her confidence from Him and His Word, and doesn’t need attention from any man, in whole or part. I am thankful I have not since been in that situation; if a guy does not fit the vision, it doesn’t matter what he says or does: I look the other way! And it is liberating...
So how did the experience refine my list specifically? It made me realize that as I focus more on my relationship with God, my desire to be with a true Man of God has deepened. Before, I was comfortable with listing spiritual attributes such as “a strong relationship with God” or “a heart for God.” Granted, I still want those things, but God showed me that I needed to be more specific both on the list and in my observation. Now I must have a man who will get “down, dirty and twisted up” for Christ (tacky, perhaps, but I love that description:))—and fit in my purpose. And as I pursue purity in my personal relationship with God, I have become more attuned to recognizing that kind of man. God, thank you for Moment Four!
Moment Five: The Ring to the Present (’07-Now)
The final defining “moment” (my definition of “moment” has expanded since the beginning) in my purity journey thus far is purchasing a purity ring in ’07, which you can read about here since I just wrote about it. I’ve had challenges over this period, too, but I have never felt more equipped to walk in purity than now. During these “post-ring” years is when God brought “Worth the Wait” to encourage me—and minister to others—on the quest. I’m pretty much still basking in Moment Five…
Postlude
Looking back on the last fourteen or so years since I took the purity pledge, I am so thankful for God’s past—and continued—grace along the way. I am floored by how much He has protected me from—and poured into me. I firmly believe that a willing heart—even a somewhat naïve one—is the “raw material” that God uses to give us the strength to make--and keep--bold commitments for Him. In pledging purity we must constantly put aside our own strength; our guilt about past decisions; our doubts—knowing that He will shape our futures and give us the desires of our heart if we only commit them to Him.
That’s my story—in five— so far.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
WITH THIS RING
A couple years ago I blogged about how I was thinking of getting my first purity ring, and I did. But I had no idea that in the months—and years—after that God would challenge me to make a much bolder commitment to Him in the area than I had envisioned.
My commitment, as it stood when I purchased the ring in March 2007, was pretty much that I would continue not to have sex and, in a relationship, set “clear, serious” physical boundaries —and stick to them. I hadn’t made a complete list of all the “Don’ts,” but I still had a sense of what acts to avoid in order to stay focused on Christ and not have sex—or anything close to it.
I really thought my commitment was good enough—and that I didn’t have that much to learn about what purity meant. Don’t misunderstand me; I know that any choice to walk in it comes only by God’s grace and strength, and without Him I will fail. But that was it: I thought that as long as I sought Him in the commitment I had already made, I would be perfectly fine.
But then God really started to convict me about whether I was “holding out” on Him. I use “holding out” because it's also used as a defense for giving someone your body (e.g., don’t “hold out” on me). But if all of me belongs to Christ--including my body-- I can also "hold out" by not giving Him all of it.
What was I convicted about? Generally, it was committing not to do some of the physical things in a relationship that we tend to call casual or insignificant, such as a kiss. But I don’t think I need to share the complete list of areas God spoke to me about in order to illustrate my point. In fact, as I’ve said before, listing “don’ts” often detracts from what should be the real focus of a purity commitment: following His leading completely—whatever He asks. However, commitments we make to God (in any area) can end up, directly or indirectly, being more about how “good” we’re doing as compared to society rather than whether we’re truly doing all He’s told us to.
My Hope
I have a passion—a prayer—that more of my peers: young, single followers of Christ, will make so-called “radical, counter-cultural” purity commitments at His leading that go far beyond just “not having sex.” But first, we have to put aside all the doubts, fears and excuses. Just a few that are often given, and a verse to counter each:
1. “I don’t have that kind of willpower.”
No one does, and it’s not about us: 2 Peter 1: 3-4- “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” My strength will only take me so far; His never fails.
2. “Why would I even want to do that?”
Because God’s blessings are always infinitely greater than anything we can even dream of: 1 Corinthians 2: 9—“However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." However we choose to bless ourselves without Him may seem great, but the fact is, even our best self-made blessings cause us to miss out on so much. Of course, choosing purity shouldn’t be only about what we'll get from God, but His Word is clear that He wants to bless us—and is The Giver of All Good Things, so only with Him do we experience true blessing. And being totally committed to purity is one amazing way that leads to blessing.
3. “You don’t know what I’ve already done."
There is always forgiveness in Christ. There is no better example than the Apostle Paul, who had a “rocky past" —from a human perspective, much worse than most of ours. Yet he could confidently say, in Romans 8: 1-2 (and elsewhere in his letters): “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.” Paul is a shining example that it’s not about where you’ve been, but where you’re going.
Guilt over the past and comparing ourselves to others who have or haven’t had sex—and judging people either way— are just a couple weapons the enemy uses to keep us from moving forward in the area of purity. We may all have past instances of compromise, but in Christ, compromise never has to be the end of any of our stories. If Paul had dwelt on the past, he never would have been excellent for Christ.
Further, choosing purity isn’t just about sacrifice—it’s also about getting life-saving guidance. When we set clear boundaries, we have a roadmap—something to lead us in our goals. No one takes a class with no teacher, textbook or some other learning materials (or if we do, we get little or nothing out of it). Likewise, when we define what purity means, it’s much easier to live it! None of us is superhuman; it’s not like the only thing that can keep us from crossing lines we later regret is kryptonite. But when we choose to run from anything that even looks suspect (e.g., putting ourselves in situations where we’re tempted to go farther than we should), we can actually do what we say we believe. I know in this walk, I need all the help I can get!
I also know it’s easy to quote verses, but life can make it hard to apply them. For me, the greatest daily challenge to maintaining purity is my thoughts. Worry and fear cloud my mind when I get distracted.
But the answer to walking in purity still comes from those verses—written promises—that God has given us as we wait for His best in relationships. Whenever I meditate on them, I am reminded that trusting Him—which requires acting—is the most profitable thing I can do, because He has promised never to disappoint me. God’s promises are life. It also helps to have encouragement from others who are choosing purity, too (shout out to The Movement:))!
Scripture is clear that God wants our very best. 1 Corinthians 12: 31b, the last verse in the chapter and the one that sets up the next, famous one on “Love" (1 Corinthians 13), says: “And now I will show you the most excellent way.” Love is about excellence. And because waiting is about love, it’s about excellence, too.
My commitment, as it stood when I purchased the ring in March 2007, was pretty much that I would continue not to have sex and, in a relationship, set “clear, serious” physical boundaries —and stick to them. I hadn’t made a complete list of all the “Don’ts,” but I still had a sense of what acts to avoid in order to stay focused on Christ and not have sex—or anything close to it.
I really thought my commitment was good enough—and that I didn’t have that much to learn about what purity meant. Don’t misunderstand me; I know that any choice to walk in it comes only by God’s grace and strength, and without Him I will fail. But that was it: I thought that as long as I sought Him in the commitment I had already made, I would be perfectly fine.
But then God really started to convict me about whether I was “holding out” on Him. I use “holding out” because it's also used as a defense for giving someone your body (e.g., don’t “hold out” on me). But if all of me belongs to Christ--including my body-- I can also "hold out" by not giving Him all of it.
What was I convicted about? Generally, it was committing not to do some of the physical things in a relationship that we tend to call casual or insignificant, such as a kiss. But I don’t think I need to share the complete list of areas God spoke to me about in order to illustrate my point. In fact, as I’ve said before, listing “don’ts” often detracts from what should be the real focus of a purity commitment: following His leading completely—whatever He asks. However, commitments we make to God (in any area) can end up, directly or indirectly, being more about how “good” we’re doing as compared to society rather than whether we’re truly doing all He’s told us to.
My Hope
I have a passion—a prayer—that more of my peers: young, single followers of Christ, will make so-called “radical, counter-cultural” purity commitments at His leading that go far beyond just “not having sex.” But first, we have to put aside all the doubts, fears and excuses. Just a few that are often given, and a verse to counter each:
1. “I don’t have that kind of willpower.”
No one does, and it’s not about us: 2 Peter 1: 3-4- “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” My strength will only take me so far; His never fails.
2. “Why would I even want to do that?”
Because God’s blessings are always infinitely greater than anything we can even dream of: 1 Corinthians 2: 9—“However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." However we choose to bless ourselves without Him may seem great, but the fact is, even our best self-made blessings cause us to miss out on so much. Of course, choosing purity shouldn’t be only about what we'll get from God, but His Word is clear that He wants to bless us—and is The Giver of All Good Things, so only with Him do we experience true blessing. And being totally committed to purity is one amazing way that leads to blessing.
3. “You don’t know what I’ve already done."
There is always forgiveness in Christ. There is no better example than the Apostle Paul, who had a “rocky past" —from a human perspective, much worse than most of ours. Yet he could confidently say, in Romans 8: 1-2 (and elsewhere in his letters): “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.” Paul is a shining example that it’s not about where you’ve been, but where you’re going.
Guilt over the past and comparing ourselves to others who have or haven’t had sex—and judging people either way— are just a couple weapons the enemy uses to keep us from moving forward in the area of purity. We may all have past instances of compromise, but in Christ, compromise never has to be the end of any of our stories. If Paul had dwelt on the past, he never would have been excellent for Christ.
Further, choosing purity isn’t just about sacrifice—it’s also about getting life-saving guidance. When we set clear boundaries, we have a roadmap—something to lead us in our goals. No one takes a class with no teacher, textbook or some other learning materials (or if we do, we get little or nothing out of it). Likewise, when we define what purity means, it’s much easier to live it! None of us is superhuman; it’s not like the only thing that can keep us from crossing lines we later regret is kryptonite. But when we choose to run from anything that even looks suspect (e.g., putting ourselves in situations where we’re tempted to go farther than we should), we can actually do what we say we believe. I know in this walk, I need all the help I can get!
I also know it’s easy to quote verses, but life can make it hard to apply them. For me, the greatest daily challenge to maintaining purity is my thoughts. Worry and fear cloud my mind when I get distracted.
But the answer to walking in purity still comes from those verses—written promises—that God has given us as we wait for His best in relationships. Whenever I meditate on them, I am reminded that trusting Him—which requires acting—is the most profitable thing I can do, because He has promised never to disappoint me. God’s promises are life. It also helps to have encouragement from others who are choosing purity, too (shout out to The Movement:))!
Scripture is clear that God wants our very best. 1 Corinthians 12: 31b, the last verse in the chapter and the one that sets up the next, famous one on “Love" (1 Corinthians 13), says: “And now I will show you the most excellent way.” Love is about excellence. And because waiting is about love, it’s about excellence, too.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
YOUR LOVE IS ALIVE
I've been listening to this great Aiyesha Woods CD, "Love Like This.” It's about God's love. One song, " Alive," has made me reflect on how deep—and real—His love is.
It floors me. It's so steady, so consistent. I think of how many times I've disappointed Him. When I’ve forgotten that He has a heart, too. When He's told me to be still, and I haven't been. When I've made promises I haven't kept. When I've given Him anything less than my very best.
Yet He stays, holding His arms out to me--gently leading me back when I stray. He makes me feel forgiven when I feel condemned. He shows me the right way, but so lovingly. I can go to Him at any moment--He never changes, or gets sick of me.
He's showing me how to love. To be steady, forgiving and transparent--like He is. He's The Ultimate Companion; The Best Company. He teaches me what it means to be truly selfless.
I love 1 John 4:10—“This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”
Thank you, Lord, for pursuing me--to the point of death--even death on The Cross. Your name is Greater, Your Love is Higher.
What I render to you for all your benefits, as David said, must
cost me something.
To borrow from "Alive": "You are the giver of all that have/What can I give to You? / Please take my heart / I owe you my life / I offer it all to You / And every day I want the world to see / That your love is alive and well in me.“
Lord, each day, Take my breath away.
Yes, His Love is Alive!
It floors me. It's so steady, so consistent. I think of how many times I've disappointed Him. When I’ve forgotten that He has a heart, too. When He's told me to be still, and I haven't been. When I've made promises I haven't kept. When I've given Him anything less than my very best.
Yet He stays, holding His arms out to me--gently leading me back when I stray. He makes me feel forgiven when I feel condemned. He shows me the right way, but so lovingly. I can go to Him at any moment--He never changes, or gets sick of me.
He's showing me how to love. To be steady, forgiving and transparent--like He is. He's The Ultimate Companion; The Best Company. He teaches me what it means to be truly selfless.
I love 1 John 4:10—“This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”
Thank you, Lord, for pursuing me--to the point of death--even death on The Cross. Your name is Greater, Your Love is Higher.
What I render to you for all your benefits, as David said, must
cost me something.
To borrow from "Alive": "You are the giver of all that have/What can I give to You? / Please take my heart / I owe you my life / I offer it all to You / And every day I want the world to see / That your love is alive and well in me.“
Lord, each day, Take my breath away.
Yes, His Love is Alive!
Monday, May 25, 2009
LIBERTY IN CHRIST
Liberty in Christ. It can be a heavy theological topic—one that Christians divide over. In somewhat simple, and probably incomplete, terms, it’s pretty much recognizing that Jesus’ death on the cross provides freedom from trying to earn salvation by keeping a moral code. Generally, the debate ensues over how Christians should live in light of the fact that what we do does not save us. I’m not writing to engage in the debate, but instead to share how I’ve been mulling over this liberty.
I’ve recently had help from 1 Corinthians 6:12. The verse is part of a famous passage on fleeing from sexual immorality and walking in purity. Because of the emphasis on avoiding sexual sin, I had inadvertently glossed over its message about Christian Liberty in general. For clarity, I’ve been looking at it in a few versions, which I’ll share:
12"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial."Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. (NIV)
12 All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. (NKJV)
12 All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. (NASB)
12 You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything. (New Living Translation)
The greatest reminder from the verse has been that gaining freedom through Christ does not, by itself, ensure that I will live in that freedom. I can still end up doing things that may not be “wrong” under the law of grace, but put me in a state like the very slavery that the Cross happened so that I could avoid.
Instead, I have to make choices that keep me living in freedom. In Him, my new aim is to walk in the grace He’s given, thus avoiding being “mastered” by anything this world offers.
In a host of passages, Paul further explains what this freedom through grace looks like. I struggled to pick just one, so I didn’t:). Along with the verses, a few lessons...Freedom in Christ should cause me to:
1. Make Him My Focus
Colossians 3: 1-3 says: “1 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.”
Focusing on Christ means He—not someone else or thing—has our attention first. When something other than God is our focus, we’re susceptible to being negatively influenced by it—whether or not we intended that. However, because The Word of God says that He is light —and free from any darkness—the only “mastery” we can experience when He's first is that we become slaves to righteous living. And because that is our aim in Christ, focusing on Him sends us in the right direction!
2. Be Motivated By Spiritual Growth, Not Just Right and Wrong
Even under grace it can still be tempting to evaluate ourselves not by how much we’re seeking Him, but instead simply by how many sins we’ve committed or avoided. But our freedom calls us to so much more.
I’m always struck by Paul’s rich prayers in his letters to the New Testament Churches. He never asked that they would just, say, keep all of the Ten Commandments, or that they’d merely be “better people” than those around them. Instead, he prayed that they would seek greatness— in Him—and in everything they did. One of my favorites is Philippians 1: 9-11:
“9And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, 10so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ 11having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.” (NASB)
When we seek excellence in our freedom, we make the best choices, not just the ones that help us slide by. And, as a result, we honor Him in the highest way.
3. Have Evidence of Freedom
Freedom in Christ has to look unique—like, well, freedom. The well-known “Fruit of the Spirit” Passage, Galatians 5: 22-23, gives us markers: "22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." (Also add similar words from Peter).
In short, because of Christ, I can do whatever I want. But, also because of Christ, I choose to do the things that bring me the most victory.
“All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”
That’s Freedom. And there’s nothing like it.
I’ve recently had help from 1 Corinthians 6:12. The verse is part of a famous passage on fleeing from sexual immorality and walking in purity. Because of the emphasis on avoiding sexual sin, I had inadvertently glossed over its message about Christian Liberty in general. For clarity, I’ve been looking at it in a few versions, which I’ll share:
12"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial."Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. (NIV)
12 All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. (NKJV)
12 All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. (NASB)
12 You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything. (New Living Translation)
The greatest reminder from the verse has been that gaining freedom through Christ does not, by itself, ensure that I will live in that freedom. I can still end up doing things that may not be “wrong” under the law of grace, but put me in a state like the very slavery that the Cross happened so that I could avoid.
Instead, I have to make choices that keep me living in freedom. In Him, my new aim is to walk in the grace He’s given, thus avoiding being “mastered” by anything this world offers.
In a host of passages, Paul further explains what this freedom through grace looks like. I struggled to pick just one, so I didn’t:). Along with the verses, a few lessons...Freedom in Christ should cause me to:
1. Make Him My Focus
Colossians 3: 1-3 says: “1 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.”
Focusing on Christ means He—not someone else or thing—has our attention first. When something other than God is our focus, we’re susceptible to being negatively influenced by it—whether or not we intended that. However, because The Word of God says that He is light —and free from any darkness—the only “mastery” we can experience when He's first is that we become slaves to righteous living. And because that is our aim in Christ, focusing on Him sends us in the right direction!
2. Be Motivated By Spiritual Growth, Not Just Right and Wrong
Even under grace it can still be tempting to evaluate ourselves not by how much we’re seeking Him, but instead simply by how many sins we’ve committed or avoided. But our freedom calls us to so much more.
I’m always struck by Paul’s rich prayers in his letters to the New Testament Churches. He never asked that they would just, say, keep all of the Ten Commandments, or that they’d merely be “better people” than those around them. Instead, he prayed that they would seek greatness— in Him—and in everything they did. One of my favorites is Philippians 1: 9-11:
“9And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, 10so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ 11having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.” (NASB)
When we seek excellence in our freedom, we make the best choices, not just the ones that help us slide by. And, as a result, we honor Him in the highest way.
3. Have Evidence of Freedom
Freedom in Christ has to look unique—like, well, freedom. The well-known “Fruit of the Spirit” Passage, Galatians 5: 22-23, gives us markers: "22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." (Also add similar words from Peter).
In short, because of Christ, I can do whatever I want. But, also because of Christ, I choose to do the things that bring me the most victory.
“All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”
That’s Freedom. And there’s nothing like it.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
THE WORD
I want to share how God has used His Word in my life.
Scripture has been special to me for most of it. In preschool my parents enrolled me in a weekly Bible-memory program at church. But as the story goes, I latched onto it quickly. Early on God gave me a desire to know Him and a love for memorizing. Learning Scripture was the perfect task.
My earliest recollection of enjoying it was about first grade. At that point I would learn a couple verses weekly for four months a year.
But there also was this rule that, on the first week of the program, participants could say as many verses in their books as they wanted. After that you had to follow the weekly schedule, mostly to ensure people spent time meditating on the verses.
I remember always taking that first-week “challenge” very seriously, each year trying to beat my record of verses memorized from the last year. I participated in the program most years through high school.
Despite the fact that I understood the verses I memorized, I didn’t fully comprehend the value of knowing them until college. It was, as they say, that “Coming of Age” period when I had to decide for myself how I would handle stresses and temptations as an "adult" (technically, at least). God constantly brought verses to memory that fit whatever situation I was in. Through His Word I felt Him loudly encouraging me to make sound choices. And when I heard Him, I felt I couldn’t let Him down.
I think too often Christians downplay the role of Scripture in God speaking to us. The Bible says it is written and inspired by God, so every time we read it, He talks directly to us. We don’t always have to wait for God to give us a “feeling,” or what someone else tells us God said (That’s not to say God can’t speak those ways, too, but I think we overrate them).
Further, memorizing Scripture enables us to fight our doubts and temptations as they happen. Sometimes our thoughts can try to defeat us before we even have time to open our Bibles. When His Word is already in our memory, it becomes that powerful, active sword that that helps us fight temptations as they’re thrown at us.
I also love Scripture because it helps us, well—“do the right thing.” There’s so much discussion about how difficult living for Christ can be. Of course it's a constant, daily battle, but having direction from His Word certainly helps! In Psalm 119: 9-11 the psalmist asks that very question: "9 How can a young man keep his way pure?"
The answer includes Scripture memory: “10 I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. 11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”
I still memorize Scripture (although not as much as I’d like). However, now I focus much more on learning passages that challenge and encourage me where I am. One I've worked on--on and off--is Psalm 91. It’s about the benefits of "dwelling"--trusting--in God.
Romans 15:4 sums up what Scripture has been to me—a spring of encouragement (especially lately): “For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.”
As it’s been said: The Revelation (for life) is The Word.
Scripture has been special to me for most of it. In preschool my parents enrolled me in a weekly Bible-memory program at church. But as the story goes, I latched onto it quickly. Early on God gave me a desire to know Him and a love for memorizing. Learning Scripture was the perfect task.
My earliest recollection of enjoying it was about first grade. At that point I would learn a couple verses weekly for four months a year.
But there also was this rule that, on the first week of the program, participants could say as many verses in their books as they wanted. After that you had to follow the weekly schedule, mostly to ensure people spent time meditating on the verses.
I remember always taking that first-week “challenge” very seriously, each year trying to beat my record of verses memorized from the last year. I participated in the program most years through high school.
Despite the fact that I understood the verses I memorized, I didn’t fully comprehend the value of knowing them until college. It was, as they say, that “Coming of Age” period when I had to decide for myself how I would handle stresses and temptations as an "adult" (technically, at least). God constantly brought verses to memory that fit whatever situation I was in. Through His Word I felt Him loudly encouraging me to make sound choices. And when I heard Him, I felt I couldn’t let Him down.
I think too often Christians downplay the role of Scripture in God speaking to us. The Bible says it is written and inspired by God, so every time we read it, He talks directly to us. We don’t always have to wait for God to give us a “feeling,” or what someone else tells us God said (That’s not to say God can’t speak those ways, too, but I think we overrate them).
Further, memorizing Scripture enables us to fight our doubts and temptations as they happen. Sometimes our thoughts can try to defeat us before we even have time to open our Bibles. When His Word is already in our memory, it becomes that powerful, active sword that that helps us fight temptations as they’re thrown at us.
I also love Scripture because it helps us, well—“do the right thing.” There’s so much discussion about how difficult living for Christ can be. Of course it's a constant, daily battle, but having direction from His Word certainly helps! In Psalm 119: 9-11 the psalmist asks that very question: "9 How can a young man keep his way pure?"
The answer includes Scripture memory: “10 I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. 11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”
I still memorize Scripture (although not as much as I’d like). However, now I focus much more on learning passages that challenge and encourage me where I am. One I've worked on--on and off--is Psalm 91. It’s about the benefits of "dwelling"--trusting--in God.
Romans 15:4 sums up what Scripture has been to me—a spring of encouragement (especially lately): “For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.”
As it’s been said: The Revelation (for life) is The Word.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
A Little On Love...
At church we've been doing a series on love based on "Song of Songs" in the Bible, a book often called "The Ultimate Love Story." We're hitting topics such as attraction, dating, courtship, marriage and marital commitment. It’s got me pondering the “contours and depths” of love, if you will, and it’s sure to produce some new blog material—at some point. For now, it’s only prompted me to revisit what I’ve already said about it, which isn’t that much compared to other topics. I’ve reposted some stuff that I’ll probably build on. Plus, judging how skinny I’ve been on entries lately, it’s a chance to post something new:)…
What Makes A Good Love Story?
My Parents' 30th
Matchless Love, Part 1
What Makes A Good Love Story?
My Parents' 30th
Matchless Love, Part 1
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Water Me
Next week I’m hitting a milestone of sorts…the one-year mark since law school graduation.
It doesn’t seem that much time has passed—I guess because it’s only been about six months since the strings that come with graduating have been cut completely:); praise God!
Trite as it may sound, this last year has gotten me thinking about life’s seasons. The famous Ecclesiastes passage on the stages of life, chapter 3:1-8, begins: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” The passage lists many seasons, among them birth and death; tearing down and building.
I don’t really want to characterize this phase of my life based on that passage, but I will say that I’m in a different season than I was last year. I’m around different places and people, and I have some different desires—and that’s just a few of the differences.
What I’m learning through these changes is to be happy where God has placed me yet to push for growth. A few months ago I finished this amazing, timely study called “Experiencing God.” The concepts in it were simple and somewhat familiar—yet profound.
One of the most striking lessons for me was that God always puts me exactly where I need to be at that moment—even if I may not understand why I’m there. It may be to prepare me for a big, God-sized task that can only be accomplished as I commit to obedience, which brings the growth necessary for God to accomplish His full purpose in my life. An example was God’s work in the life of His disciple Peter. While on earth, Jesus revealed He would use Peter to build the early Church (which came true in Acts, after Jesus’ ascension). But Jesus also knew that Peter was not yet ready for the task; first, He had to grow Peter.
One day Peter declared to Jesus that he was ready to follow Him anywhere. Jesus said Peter wasn't, and that he would deny Jesus three times. And, as you probably know, shortly before Jesus was crucified, Peter did deny knowing Him three times when asked. After that, the Bible says Peter wept bitterly.
But, of course, Jesus didn’t leave him there. Shortly after His resurrection, Jesus “reinstated” Peter, giving Him a command to “feed His sheep”—teach others about Christ, as he had been taught. In Acts and the New Testament books following we see evidence of the ways God used Peter to share The Gospel with people from many different nations, transforming the world—and Peter—in the process (for example, Acts 10). As Peter obeyed God, he experienced a plan for his life that has been documented in The Guide He's given us. That’s divine.
I want to be ready for what God has for me in the future, so I’m “living in the moment.” I’m learning to stay closer to Him constantly, give my desires to Him and do what He tells me to—even the things that don’t make sense at the time.
I’m seeing this season is a chance for God to water—refine— me. And through His faithfulness, I’m experiencing the life He has for me.
It doesn’t seem that much time has passed—I guess because it’s only been about six months since the strings that come with graduating have been cut completely:); praise God!
Trite as it may sound, this last year has gotten me thinking about life’s seasons. The famous Ecclesiastes passage on the stages of life, chapter 3:1-8, begins: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” The passage lists many seasons, among them birth and death; tearing down and building.
I don’t really want to characterize this phase of my life based on that passage, but I will say that I’m in a different season than I was last year. I’m around different places and people, and I have some different desires—and that’s just a few of the differences.
What I’m learning through these changes is to be happy where God has placed me yet to push for growth. A few months ago I finished this amazing, timely study called “Experiencing God.” The concepts in it were simple and somewhat familiar—yet profound.
One of the most striking lessons for me was that God always puts me exactly where I need to be at that moment—even if I may not understand why I’m there. It may be to prepare me for a big, God-sized task that can only be accomplished as I commit to obedience, which brings the growth necessary for God to accomplish His full purpose in my life. An example was God’s work in the life of His disciple Peter. While on earth, Jesus revealed He would use Peter to build the early Church (which came true in Acts, after Jesus’ ascension). But Jesus also knew that Peter was not yet ready for the task; first, He had to grow Peter.
One day Peter declared to Jesus that he was ready to follow Him anywhere. Jesus said Peter wasn't, and that he would deny Jesus three times. And, as you probably know, shortly before Jesus was crucified, Peter did deny knowing Him three times when asked. After that, the Bible says Peter wept bitterly.
But, of course, Jesus didn’t leave him there. Shortly after His resurrection, Jesus “reinstated” Peter, giving Him a command to “feed His sheep”—teach others about Christ, as he had been taught. In Acts and the New Testament books following we see evidence of the ways God used Peter to share The Gospel with people from many different nations, transforming the world—and Peter—in the process (for example, Acts 10). As Peter obeyed God, he experienced a plan for his life that has been documented in The Guide He's given us. That’s divine.
I want to be ready for what God has for me in the future, so I’m “living in the moment.” I’m learning to stay closer to Him constantly, give my desires to Him and do what He tells me to—even the things that don’t make sense at the time.
I’m seeing this season is a chance for God to water—refine— me. And through His faithfulness, I’m experiencing the life He has for me.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
I'm a Winner !
It’s a hot topic in academia and beyond: the supposed lack of discipline among today’s young adults. An interesting article I read at least a few dozen times in college as a writing tutor put it this way: “Having been raised on gold stars for effort and smiley faces for self-esteem, [students today have] learned that they can get by without hard work and real talent if they can talk the professor into giving them a break.” Debating that proposition is for another time. But the mentality that everybody wins isn’t always such a bad thing, especially in light of God’s promises.
Lately I’ve been thinking about God’s faithfulness compared to our own. We’ve all had people disappoint us—and we disappoint others. It’s what we do or say—or don’t do. Even those most faithful to us are limited by often uncontrollable incidents such as sickness, accidents...death. And we go through difficult times that don’t have anything to do with our actions. That’s just life.
But one thing I have found is that with Christ, there’s always a winning end to every situation. I can think of so many times when I don’t understand why something is happening—or what God is doing. But at some point—the end of the situation or somewhere in between, God’s control, which is always present, becomes fully evident. It’s more than just “everything happens for a reason” or “experience is the best teacher.” Rather, God uses trying events to teach us that all we really need to thrive in this life is Him. 2 Corinthians 2:14a says, "Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ" (Israel & New Breed sing this verse well). “Always” is, of course, the opposite of never—and much more than sometimes. It’s every time. Because Jesus trounced sin and death, with Him, I can overcome anything!
How should this affect how we live? First, it means I put my hope in Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:58 also says that because we triumph in Christ, we should constantly invest our time in the things that bring victory: “Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” That’s a powerful, life-changing guarantee.
With Christ, the idea of victory every time isn’t so flaky…so yes, we can all win!
Lately I’ve been thinking about God’s faithfulness compared to our own. We’ve all had people disappoint us—and we disappoint others. It’s what we do or say—or don’t do. Even those most faithful to us are limited by often uncontrollable incidents such as sickness, accidents...death. And we go through difficult times that don’t have anything to do with our actions. That’s just life.
But one thing I have found is that with Christ, there’s always a winning end to every situation. I can think of so many times when I don’t understand why something is happening—or what God is doing. But at some point—the end of the situation or somewhere in between, God’s control, which is always present, becomes fully evident. It’s more than just “everything happens for a reason” or “experience is the best teacher.” Rather, God uses trying events to teach us that all we really need to thrive in this life is Him. 2 Corinthians 2:14a says, "Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ" (Israel & New Breed sing this verse well). “Always” is, of course, the opposite of never—and much more than sometimes. It’s every time. Because Jesus trounced sin and death, with Him, I can overcome anything!
How should this affect how we live? First, it means I put my hope in Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:58 also says that because we triumph in Christ, we should constantly invest our time in the things that bring victory: “Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” That’s a powerful, life-changing guarantee.
With Christ, the idea of victory every time isn’t so flaky…so yes, we can all win!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Our Time
I had never been much into Hip Hop. I used to listen to it more in the 90s, but, as I’ve said before, I’d always been much more of a pop-r&b-soft rock person. Then in the last few years I got more into many different types of Christian music. My most recent discovery? A growing love for Holy Hip Hop.
Christian Rap, I mean (I know rap and hip hop are sometimes distinguished, but I am no expert and choose to use them interchangeably here). There are some deep, purposeful artists in mainstream hip hop, but we all know misogyny, debauchery, etc., are staples of the genre, too. I easily got tired of artists objectifying women in one song and being “spiritual” in the next. But because the main purpose of Christian Rap is to glorify God, there are no real lyrical inconsistencies to reconcile. Instead, I’m free to appreciate completely the rhymes the artists create. They are powerful—and hot.
I haven’t been listening long enough to declare a favorite artist, but the trio Group 1 Crew comes closest to this distinction. They have a lead vocalist, Blanca; the other two members, Manuel and Pablo, mostly rap. I love their beats; vocals; and very personal lyrics about dreams, hope and true fellowship with God. On their latest album, Ordinary Dreamers, there’s a song about the importance of daily spending time with God, aptly titled “Our Time.” It makes me reflect on how God uses personal time to make radical changes in character that only He can. An artist that can turn thoughts about quiet time (with God) into a catchy tune—and present a consistent message in other songs—has my vote.
If you haven’t, give Holy Hip Hop a chance. To start, here’s Our Time.
Christian Rap, I mean (I know rap and hip hop are sometimes distinguished, but I am no expert and choose to use them interchangeably here). There are some deep, purposeful artists in mainstream hip hop, but we all know misogyny, debauchery, etc., are staples of the genre, too. I easily got tired of artists objectifying women in one song and being “spiritual” in the next. But because the main purpose of Christian Rap is to glorify God, there are no real lyrical inconsistencies to reconcile. Instead, I’m free to appreciate completely the rhymes the artists create. They are powerful—and hot.
I haven’t been listening long enough to declare a favorite artist, but the trio Group 1 Crew comes closest to this distinction. They have a lead vocalist, Blanca; the other two members, Manuel and Pablo, mostly rap. I love their beats; vocals; and very personal lyrics about dreams, hope and true fellowship with God. On their latest album, Ordinary Dreamers, there’s a song about the importance of daily spending time with God, aptly titled “Our Time.” It makes me reflect on how God uses personal time to make radical changes in character that only He can. An artist that can turn thoughts about quiet time (with God) into a catchy tune—and present a consistent message in other songs—has my vote.
If you haven’t, give Holy Hip Hop a chance. To start, here’s Our Time.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Something New
I’m excited. I'll be doing something I’ve never done: model. What I’ll be representing: Worth the Wait, an organization that uses fashion to promote sexual purity.
I wasn’t drawn to the opportunity for the chance to walk down a runway but for the cause. For years I’ve been passionate about promoting a pure lifestyle. As I’ve said before, true purity is not just about abstaining from sex, but also every other decision you make. What you watch. How you think. What you do with your time. If we know Christ, we are called to a life of holiness that can be achieved only with Him.
But the message of Worth the Wait is not one of perfection. Nobody is perfect. Rather, it is to encourage singles (and others) that no matter what decisions you have made in the past, living a pure lifestyle in Christ is not beyond anyone’s reach. You do not have to be a virgin to model with Worth the Wait, but you do have to be dedicated to honoring God with your body moving forward. The models have many different testimonies leading to a commitment to purity. A major part of modeling with Worth the Wait is sharing your story.
I see this new gig as a testament to the fact that God can use anything He’s given you in ministry, even the things that may seem to have little to do with it. I’ve always been told I have “a walk,” or, alternatively, a “strut.” I’ve never really understood what people are talking about; the only thing I’m concerned with when I move is getting to the next point quickly. But I’ve prayed for God to use all of me, even my so-called walk. When I learned that auditioning to be part of Worth the Wait involved walking down a runway, I saw this as an answer to prayer. I don’t know whether my walk helped me get the opportunity, but now that I have it, I’m owning it for His kingdom!
I’ll be in at least three fashion shows in the upcoming year. Once I know details, I’ll post how you can support Worth the Wait by attending! As the organization’s mantra says, “You are Worth the Wait!!!”
I wasn’t drawn to the opportunity for the chance to walk down a runway but for the cause. For years I’ve been passionate about promoting a pure lifestyle. As I’ve said before, true purity is not just about abstaining from sex, but also every other decision you make. What you watch. How you think. What you do with your time. If we know Christ, we are called to a life of holiness that can be achieved only with Him.
But the message of Worth the Wait is not one of perfection. Nobody is perfect. Rather, it is to encourage singles (and others) that no matter what decisions you have made in the past, living a pure lifestyle in Christ is not beyond anyone’s reach. You do not have to be a virgin to model with Worth the Wait, but you do have to be dedicated to honoring God with your body moving forward. The models have many different testimonies leading to a commitment to purity. A major part of modeling with Worth the Wait is sharing your story.
I see this new gig as a testament to the fact that God can use anything He’s given you in ministry, even the things that may seem to have little to do with it. I’ve always been told I have “a walk,” or, alternatively, a “strut.” I’ve never really understood what people are talking about; the only thing I’m concerned with when I move is getting to the next point quickly. But I’ve prayed for God to use all of me, even my so-called walk. When I learned that auditioning to be part of Worth the Wait involved walking down a runway, I saw this as an answer to prayer. I don’t know whether my walk helped me get the opportunity, but now that I have it, I’m owning it for His kingdom!
I’ll be in at least three fashion shows in the upcoming year. Once I know details, I’ll post how you can support Worth the Wait by attending! As the organization’s mantra says, “You are Worth the Wait!!!”
Monday, November 17, 2008
Singing of His Mercy
Thanksgiving is coming. It’s crept up. We’re more than halfway through November, and I feel this month has been a blur. I’ve literally witnessed a few milestones for myself and others these last two weeks, and I really haven’t had time process them all. But one thing I will never get over as a result of those events is the reach of God’s Mercy.
Sometimes I overlook or fail to comprehend it. I often focus on fixing what’s wrong with my relationship with God. How I need to grow in that area. How I need His help to overcome that sin. While it is important for Christians to seek spiritual growth (2 Peter 1: 5-11), sometimes we forget that, even at our best, we will never be good enough to earn God’s blessing in our lives. It’s a truth evidenced by the Cross, but one that starts to get lost when we focus on what “we”—or “I”—need to change rather than the fact that only He can we change us and forgive us when we mess up. That’s the heart of His Mercy.
There’s a song that says how I’m feeling; “Thankful” by Darlene Zscech. As I’m writing, I’ve had it on repeat. The opening talks about God’s “gentle rain.” We often see rain as a metaphor for trials. She’s speaking of God being with her, using circumstances to change her—yet gently—with love. I can say that before the milestones came the gentle rain. But with it also has come—and is coming—the change I desire for Christ. It's a life-long process, but it's so worth it! Glory to God!
The chorus displays the cross as the greatest symbol of God’s mercy: “To the cross I come again…I wanna thank you, Living God.” I love the use of “living.” My God is alive—real: not some symbol or person of the past. When we recognize God as living, He becomes the source of our lives, making them full.
Knowing Christ is supposed to us make us more joyful; happier; more excellent. Because of the Cross, not only am I not bound by my failures, but I am now free to walk in light.
I’ll end with one of the many ways a Psalmist reflected on God’s Mercy—as enough to cover his limits: “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” Psalm 73: 26. Amen! Thank you Lord, for your Mercy!
“Thankful” Lyrics
I felt your gentle rain
You wash over my heart again
And I find You here
I Find You here
You take me by the hand
And when I don’t understand
You hold me
You hold me
(chorus)
To the cross I come again
I'm so thankful, I'm thankful
Your mercy over me again
I'm so thankful, living God
I wanna thank You Living God
In the light of day
Your truth defies my way
And You call me Yours
I'm forever Yours
(bridge)
For eternity,
You will be, You will be
Yesterday, today and forever,
You remain the same
(chorus)
To the cross I come again
I'm so thankful, I'm thankful
Your mercy over me again
I'm so thankful, Living God
To the cross I come again
I'm so thankful, I'm thankful
Your mercy over me again
I'm so thankful, Living God
I wanna thank You, Living God
http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/d/darlenezschech6263/thankful508311.html
Sometimes I overlook or fail to comprehend it. I often focus on fixing what’s wrong with my relationship with God. How I need to grow in that area. How I need His help to overcome that sin. While it is important for Christians to seek spiritual growth (2 Peter 1: 5-11), sometimes we forget that, even at our best, we will never be good enough to earn God’s blessing in our lives. It’s a truth evidenced by the Cross, but one that starts to get lost when we focus on what “we”—or “I”—need to change rather than the fact that only He can we change us and forgive us when we mess up. That’s the heart of His Mercy.
There’s a song that says how I’m feeling; “Thankful” by Darlene Zscech. As I’m writing, I’ve had it on repeat. The opening talks about God’s “gentle rain.” We often see rain as a metaphor for trials. She’s speaking of God being with her, using circumstances to change her—yet gently—with love. I can say that before the milestones came the gentle rain. But with it also has come—and is coming—the change I desire for Christ. It's a life-long process, but it's so worth it! Glory to God!
The chorus displays the cross as the greatest symbol of God’s mercy: “To the cross I come again…I wanna thank you, Living God.” I love the use of “living.” My God is alive—real: not some symbol or person of the past. When we recognize God as living, He becomes the source of our lives, making them full.
Knowing Christ is supposed to us make us more joyful; happier; more excellent. Because of the Cross, not only am I not bound by my failures, but I am now free to walk in light.
I’ll end with one of the many ways a Psalmist reflected on God’s Mercy—as enough to cover his limits: “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” Psalm 73: 26. Amen! Thank you Lord, for your Mercy!
“Thankful” Lyrics
I felt your gentle rain
You wash over my heart again
And I find You here
I Find You here
You take me by the hand
And when I don’t understand
You hold me
You hold me
(chorus)
To the cross I come again
I'm so thankful, I'm thankful
Your mercy over me again
I'm so thankful, living God
I wanna thank You Living God
In the light of day
Your truth defies my way
And You call me Yours
I'm forever Yours
(bridge)
For eternity,
You will be, You will be
Yesterday, today and forever,
You remain the same
(chorus)
To the cross I come again
I'm so thankful, I'm thankful
Your mercy over me again
I'm so thankful, Living God
To the cross I come again
I'm so thankful, I'm thankful
Your mercy over me again
I'm so thankful, Living God
I wanna thank You, Living God
http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/d/darlenezschech6263/thankful508311.html
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
THE PEN
Last January I blogged about my favorite psalms and asked which ones others really liked. In similar fashion, “What’s your favorite Name?”
For God, I mean. There are plenty of them throughout the Bible. Some common ones are Alpha and Omega, or the Beginning and the End (Revelation 1:8); The Way, The Truth and the Life (John 14:6); Love (I John 4:8). It’s often said that the Names of God help us understand His character.
I’ve been thinking about which Names resonate most with me since listening to this CD by new artist Spensha Baker, a 15-year-old phenom discovered on Star Search. It’s EXCELLENT worship. One song, “Strong Tower,” based on Proverbs 18:10, paints God as just that--a refuge--at all times.
My favorite Names? First, I love that He’s the Vine, as Jesus says in John 15:5: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in Him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” Literally, a vine is the source of life for branches—without them, the branches wouldn’t even exist—or grow whatever they’re supposed to. Further, to “abide” means to remain—not to waver. When I refer to the Lord as my Vine, I’m saying that without Him, I can’t live out His purpose for my life, which, above else, means serving Him. Many times we think we have great lives even when we aren’t abiding, but God’s Word says that what He has planned for us is infinitely greater than what we can conceive for ourselves. I don’t want to miss a minute of his life-giving blessings. When I abide in the Vine, I thrive—far beyond my imagination.
I also like that He’s a Dwelling Place. To dwell also means to stay permanently, and it has a peaceful connotation. When I dwell in Christ, I’m not focused on whatever life struggle I’m having at the moment—I have peace, because I’m confident that He’s taking care of it. Not only that, when I’m really “staying” in Him, it’s a lifestyle.
I also came up with my own Name. Because I love to write, I relate to Him as The Author of My Story. It fascinates me that when it comes to my life, He’s already done all the literary crafting, considered the plot twists and taken care of all the contingencies. And if I allow each chapter to unfold, cover to cover—not attempt to rewrite it—it’ll be a best-seller. To me, He is The Pen.
More Names I love? Lately, He’s been Grace, Mercy and Faithfulness to me despite my sin. I pray I give more love to others because of His compassion to me.
Again, what are your favorite Names? Listen to Strong Tower
for inspiration, or just to worship. Here’s a list of the Names and corresponding references in the song. Above all, His name is Wonderful.
• Strong Tower (Proverbs 18:10)
• Mighty Fortress (Psalm 46:11)
• Jehovah Jirah, My Provider ( Genesis 22:12-14, Philippians 4: 14-20)
• Jehovah Nissi, My Banner (Exodus 17: 8-16)
• Jehovah Rapha, God the Healer ( Ex. 15:25-26)
• Bread of Life (John 6:48-51)
• Master (Luke 8: 24; 9:33; Col. 4:1)
• Savior (John 4:42)
• Lily of the Valley (Song of Solomon 2:1)
• Alpha and Omega (Revelation 1:8)
• Bright and Morning Star (Revelation 22:16)
For God, I mean. There are plenty of them throughout the Bible. Some common ones are Alpha and Omega, or the Beginning and the End (Revelation 1:8); The Way, The Truth and the Life (John 14:6); Love (I John 4:8). It’s often said that the Names of God help us understand His character.
I’ve been thinking about which Names resonate most with me since listening to this CD by new artist Spensha Baker, a 15-year-old phenom discovered on Star Search. It’s EXCELLENT worship. One song, “Strong Tower,” based on Proverbs 18:10, paints God as just that--a refuge--at all times.
My favorite Names? First, I love that He’s the Vine, as Jesus says in John 15:5: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in Him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” Literally, a vine is the source of life for branches—without them, the branches wouldn’t even exist—or grow whatever they’re supposed to. Further, to “abide” means to remain—not to waver. When I refer to the Lord as my Vine, I’m saying that without Him, I can’t live out His purpose for my life, which, above else, means serving Him. Many times we think we have great lives even when we aren’t abiding, but God’s Word says that what He has planned for us is infinitely greater than what we can conceive for ourselves. I don’t want to miss a minute of his life-giving blessings. When I abide in the Vine, I thrive—far beyond my imagination.
I also like that He’s a Dwelling Place. To dwell also means to stay permanently, and it has a peaceful connotation. When I dwell in Christ, I’m not focused on whatever life struggle I’m having at the moment—I have peace, because I’m confident that He’s taking care of it. Not only that, when I’m really “staying” in Him, it’s a lifestyle.
I also came up with my own Name. Because I love to write, I relate to Him as The Author of My Story. It fascinates me that when it comes to my life, He’s already done all the literary crafting, considered the plot twists and taken care of all the contingencies. And if I allow each chapter to unfold, cover to cover—not attempt to rewrite it—it’ll be a best-seller. To me, He is The Pen.
More Names I love? Lately, He’s been Grace, Mercy and Faithfulness to me despite my sin. I pray I give more love to others because of His compassion to me.
Again, what are your favorite Names? Listen to Strong Tower
for inspiration, or just to worship. Here’s a list of the Names and corresponding references in the song. Above all, His name is Wonderful.
• Strong Tower (Proverbs 18:10)
• Mighty Fortress (Psalm 46:11)
• Jehovah Jirah, My Provider ( Genesis 22:12-14, Philippians 4: 14-20)
• Jehovah Nissi, My Banner (Exodus 17: 8-16)
• Jehovah Rapha, God the Healer ( Ex. 15:25-26)
• Bread of Life (John 6:48-51)
• Master (Luke 8: 24; 9:33; Col. 4:1)
• Savior (John 4:42)
• Lily of the Valley (Song of Solomon 2:1)
• Alpha and Omega (Revelation 1:8)
• Bright and Morning Star (Revelation 22:16)
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Fasting
I love good food. “Good” is highly seasoned, flavorful-yet-reasonably healthy cuisine-not your cheap, artery-clogging grease from KFC or Mickey D’s. To get what I want, I either have to make it or go to a restaurant with at least a couple stars. A friend and I recently lamented on how eating out “our style” at least three nights a week this past year greatly stretched our law-student budgets. In short, I do good food—or no food.
Naturally, God takes the earthly things we hold dear and uses them to stretch us spiritually. My God-given challenge: Not eating, i.e., fasting.
Jesus gave directions for this spiritual discipline in Matthew 6: 16-18:
In light of this passage, this entry isn’t to proclaim that I’ve fasted, but to share how God is using my weakness to take me to another level with Him.
My first regular experience doing it was an (optional) lunch-time fast and prayer meeting Wednesdays at my Christian high school. Most of us still brought drinks. I’d have the most filling I could find: some thick, syrupy strawberry soda or ten-juice blend. In those days, the idea that not eating was supposed to shift my focus from food to God was somewhat lost on me. However, I do credit those lunch-hour experiences with helping me recognize that fasting should be part of my relationship with God.
I dabbled a little more with fasting in college, but not much more. I’d still usually just skip a meal and pray some. But my first year of law school I started doing it a lot more, and for longer.
At first I didn’t know if I could really do it that year. Eating a good meal was the highlight of days that started really early, ended really late and consisted almost completely of class and studying. Additionally, I wasn’t sure how much time I could spend praying and reading the Word when I had so much else to do. But I also felt I had no choice—I was so overwhelmed, and knew only God could get me through, just like how He had gotten me into law school.
I fasted once a week for most of that year. God kept opening points of the day where I could get away from my library cubby or take a walk after class to spend more time with Him. Yeah, my stomach growled sometimes—and I was tempted to think about things like this nearby deli that had the most amazing salad bar with all these homemade ingredients. Initially there were also headaches that I wanted to claim were divine signs for me to stop fasting “for health reasons.” But as I pushed the thoughts aside, I focused more on Him rather than food. And the headaches disappeared.
I never spent much time evaluating the spiritual effects of those fasts, but I know that, overall, seeking His face that year—and the two that followed—made my law school years successful in so many ways.
More recently, I’ve been challenged to fast more. One of the things I struggle with is worry. Sometimes it creeps up on me because it doesn’t so much come in stomach pangs or other physical manifestations, but through thoughts. My mind travels from A to Z (without skipping letters) in like, three seconds. When I start a thought with “what if,” almost every possible scenario—good and bad, will travel through my head without me even blinking. When I fast, I’m reminded to “set my mind on things above” (Colosians 3:2); give my thoughts to God rather than be anxious and think about excellent, praiseworthy things (Philippians 4:6-8).
I’ve also been reading an aptly-titled book, “Fasting” by Jentezen Franklin (I didn’t even know who that was, but I kept seeing his book at Family Christian Bookstores. It’s now the “Book of the Month,” which means I got it for $10-40% off). The chapters are short, and it really cuts to the chase about the benefits of fasting and how Christians are actually commanded to do it. Chapter 2 is called “Dethroning King Stomach” and gives biblical examples about how the lure of food cost some God’s blessings. Chapter 5 addresses the benefits of a 40-day fast (I’m still building faith and stamina for that one:)).Thus far, I’d recommend it!
Wherever we are in our faith, God calls us to “add” always— reach for the next level (2 Peter 1: 5-11). Food never really goes away, but God’s best might.
Food and I are very close, but I want God closer.
Naturally, God takes the earthly things we hold dear and uses them to stretch us spiritually. My God-given challenge: Not eating, i.e., fasting.
Jesus gave directions for this spiritual discipline in Matthew 6: 16-18:
When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
In light of this passage, this entry isn’t to proclaim that I’ve fasted, but to share how God is using my weakness to take me to another level with Him.
My first regular experience doing it was an (optional) lunch-time fast and prayer meeting Wednesdays at my Christian high school. Most of us still brought drinks. I’d have the most filling I could find: some thick, syrupy strawberry soda or ten-juice blend. In those days, the idea that not eating was supposed to shift my focus from food to God was somewhat lost on me. However, I do credit those lunch-hour experiences with helping me recognize that fasting should be part of my relationship with God.
I dabbled a little more with fasting in college, but not much more. I’d still usually just skip a meal and pray some. But my first year of law school I started doing it a lot more, and for longer.
At first I didn’t know if I could really do it that year. Eating a good meal was the highlight of days that started really early, ended really late and consisted almost completely of class and studying. Additionally, I wasn’t sure how much time I could spend praying and reading the Word when I had so much else to do. But I also felt I had no choice—I was so overwhelmed, and knew only God could get me through, just like how He had gotten me into law school.
I fasted once a week for most of that year. God kept opening points of the day where I could get away from my library cubby or take a walk after class to spend more time with Him. Yeah, my stomach growled sometimes—and I was tempted to think about things like this nearby deli that had the most amazing salad bar with all these homemade ingredients. Initially there were also headaches that I wanted to claim were divine signs for me to stop fasting “for health reasons.” But as I pushed the thoughts aside, I focused more on Him rather than food. And the headaches disappeared.
I never spent much time evaluating the spiritual effects of those fasts, but I know that, overall, seeking His face that year—and the two that followed—made my law school years successful in so many ways.
More recently, I’ve been challenged to fast more. One of the things I struggle with is worry. Sometimes it creeps up on me because it doesn’t so much come in stomach pangs or other physical manifestations, but through thoughts. My mind travels from A to Z (without skipping letters) in like, three seconds. When I start a thought with “what if,” almost every possible scenario—good and bad, will travel through my head without me even blinking. When I fast, I’m reminded to “set my mind on things above” (Colosians 3:2); give my thoughts to God rather than be anxious and think about excellent, praiseworthy things (Philippians 4:6-8).
I’ve also been reading an aptly-titled book, “Fasting” by Jentezen Franklin (I didn’t even know who that was, but I kept seeing his book at Family Christian Bookstores. It’s now the “Book of the Month,” which means I got it for $10-40% off). The chapters are short, and it really cuts to the chase about the benefits of fasting and how Christians are actually commanded to do it. Chapter 2 is called “Dethroning King Stomach” and gives biblical examples about how the lure of food cost some God’s blessings. Chapter 5 addresses the benefits of a 40-day fast (I’m still building faith and stamina for that one:)).Thus far, I’d recommend it!
Wherever we are in our faith, God calls us to “add” always— reach for the next level (2 Peter 1: 5-11). Food never really goes away, but God’s best might.
Food and I are very close, but I want God closer.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Boots that Fit
I’ve always had skinny legs. To borrow from Terry Hatcher, “I could gain 30 pounds, and none of it would go to my legs” (translation: it would NOT look good). I don’t have a problem with them during spring and summer—they fit right in with those seasonal fashions. But when fall comes, there is a problem. Until recently, Enemy Number One was boots.
Ladies, some of you might know what I mean: the gap between the boot and the leg that happens when you have small gams. With ankle-length boots, the space can make you trip. On most knee-length or thigh-high boots, it just looks really unfashionable—like you borrowed shoes from your older sister (that didn’t fit). The only solace had been those stretch boots, but I haven’t seen them in abundance since high school—“circa” late 90s? Even then, I spent more time pulling them up than I did walking.
Until a couple years ago, I had been resigned to wearing boots in the most boring way: under some boot-cut jeans. But the return of the boots-over-the-pants fashion has given girls like me a chance to look trendy in fall and winter, like here:
Sometimes there’s still a gap with them, but it’s not as noticeable. Pair them with those new skinny jeans, as shown here, and I feel like I have another A-plus option!
And then there’s those slouch boot
Oh, I could sing of their virtues all day long. Because the whole boot stretches out, they appear to beef up the leg, hiding the skinny. If they’re small enough in the calf area, I can even wear them with a knee-length skirt or dress—which I had wistfully watched other women do for years.
I’ve also found that timing matters. My best chance to get boots that fit is early fall shopping season—like, end of summer. This year I began aggressively looking in August. After three unsuccessful weeks, I found three pairs at Arundel Mills: some dark brown, knee-length slouch boots that narrow at the calves; slim, calf-length suede ones in black; another pair of slouch ones that are cinnamon brown, leather and reach the upper ankle. Throw in a couple other winners from DSW and Nordstrom Rack, and I have had a profitable month in boots shopping!
Another trend I like this year? The abundance of sweater dresses! I’m looking forward to wearing them with cute belts….and boots that actually fit.
Ladies, some of you might know what I mean: the gap between the boot and the leg that happens when you have small gams. With ankle-length boots, the space can make you trip. On most knee-length or thigh-high boots, it just looks really unfashionable—like you borrowed shoes from your older sister (that didn’t fit). The only solace had been those stretch boots, but I haven’t seen them in abundance since high school—“circa” late 90s? Even then, I spent more time pulling them up than I did walking.
Until a couple years ago, I had been resigned to wearing boots in the most boring way: under some boot-cut jeans. But the return of the boots-over-the-pants fashion has given girls like me a chance to look trendy in fall and winter, like here:
Sometimes there’s still a gap with them, but it’s not as noticeable. Pair them with those new skinny jeans, as shown here, and I feel like I have another A-plus option!
And then there’s those slouch boot
Oh, I could sing of their virtues all day long. Because the whole boot stretches out, they appear to beef up the leg, hiding the skinny. If they’re small enough in the calf area, I can even wear them with a knee-length skirt or dress—which I had wistfully watched other women do for years.
I’ve also found that timing matters. My best chance to get boots that fit is early fall shopping season—like, end of summer. This year I began aggressively looking in August. After three unsuccessful weeks, I found three pairs at Arundel Mills: some dark brown, knee-length slouch boots that narrow at the calves; slim, calf-length suede ones in black; another pair of slouch ones that are cinnamon brown, leather and reach the upper ankle. Throw in a couple other winners from DSW and Nordstrom Rack, and I have had a profitable month in boots shopping!
Another trend I like this year? The abundance of sweater dresses! I’m looking forward to wearing them with cute belts….and boots that actually fit.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Courage
I know I haven’t blogged in a while, but I’m back. I’m trying to do an entry a day (or every other day) for a while, so check in!
When people ask me what my biggest fear is, my gut response is dogs. I don’t like things that regularly lick, bark, jump and can only respond to commands like “sit,” “go,” or “here boy.” Since you can’t really talk to them, you never know what they’ll do. Any time I hear a “ruff ruff,” I think “When Animals Attack.”
But if I really ponder it, I don’t know that my biggest fear is dogs. Another thing I fear: the future.
For the last couple months, I’ve had to confront this fear. On the one hand, I’ve experienced the high of God taking a dream that began decades ago in elementary school, when I discovered the joy I found in putting my thoughts on thick-lined paper using those equally massive jumbo pencils, and most recently, packaging the love into an unexpected reality: law school graduation. I can’t believe how much He’s blessed me in little more than a quarter century.
But the end of something is always the start of something else. I’m excited about life after school, but also wonder what God has planned for the next phase of my life. That’s where the fear comes in. Will this next round be just as wonderful as the one that ended?
Recently, God’s spoken to me about my fear through His Word. I didn’t set out to do a “fear” study, but I kept seeing the lesson in the passages I read. One reoccurring story was the Israelites’ long journey to the land God had promised their ancestors. It’s likely a familiar story, as it was for me, but rereading it brought it to life again. I think it’s worth rehashing.
After God had delivered the Israelites from slavery in Egypt, He revealed to them the location of the land He had already promised. The land, Canaan, had other inhabitants, and the people were told first to send twelve spies to see how they could conquer it. After returning, ten of the twelve spies reported that although the land was as great as God had said, it would be too difficult to conquer it because of the people living there. In fear, they said,
“…the land through which we have gone as spies is a land that devours its inhabitants, and all the people whom we saw are men of great stature. There we saw giants (the descendants of Anak came from the giants) and we were like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so were we in their sight.” Numbers 13: 32b-33.
Only two spies, Caleb and Joshua, said the people could conquer the land with God’s help.
“…if the Lord delights in us, then He will bring us to this land and give it to us, ‘a land which flows with milk and honey,’” they told the people. In response, the people threatened to stone them (Numbers 14: 6-10).
As a result of their fear and unbelief despite all that God had done for them in the past, the Israelites of that generation were not allowed to enter Canaan. Caleb and Joshua were the only exceptions. The rest died in the wilderness over forty years, one year for each of the forty days the spies were sent into the land (Numbers 14: 26-38).
When the Israelites were finally allowed to enter Canaan, they still had to face their fears. But before he led the people into the land, God told Joshua,
“6 Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1: 6-9.
I’ve always been a fan of verses 7-8 for the importance of studying God’s Word for obedience and blessing. However, the devotional book I had been reading pointed out the “anti-fear” lesson. God told Joshua three times to “be strong and courageous,” one time to be very strong and courageous. Why: because God promised to be with Joshua wherever he went.
That hit me. Often, we focus on how we find strength in Christ—sometimes to the exclusion of recognizing that also means we are to be actively strong and courageous. Of course, we can only be these things if we’re following Him, but I think the lesson of being courageous is still often diminished in the name of elevating God’s strength over our own. But God’s strength is our strength, so the lesson is one of faith and responsibility (i.e., “have courage"), as Israel’s story illustrates.
The story also explains the role that fear can play in keeping us from seeing the things God has for us. The Israelites had to believe that God would give them the blessings He promised despite the fact that with human eyes those blessings seemed impossible. Because they chose fear over courage, they in turn were disobedient and, ultimately, never received their blessing. God, however, was still faithful to His promise to give the Israelites their land. It’s a lesson that when we don’t choose to have courage, God still fulfills His plans, but we’re the ones who miss out.
A book I stumbled on at the bookstore also addressed the story, and had this to say about fear:
“All of us have struggled with feelings of self-doubt and discouragement. Even godly men and women in God’s Word battled many fears and temptations. However, they learned that resignation and disobedience only lead to further disappointment and defeat. God has not designed you for failure. He created you for success—not success from the world’s perspective, but success His way—which glorifies and honors Him and also brings many blessings” (p. 11).
Charles Stanley. Stuck in Reverse: Break Free from Fear and Disbelief and Enjoy the Good Things God has for You (2008).
That’s the essence of courage in Christ—fulfilling His purpose for our lives. The popular Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has plans not to harm us, but to prosper us. We can be confident to face the unknown because we know that God will never lead us in a direction of disaster (by contrast, we can lead ourselves that way). As the book excerpt also pointed out, God’s plans do not necessarily involve the world’s success, and, as we know, it does involve hardship (John 16:33). Fear—of the unseen or seen— keeps us from seeing God’s grand picture for our lives.
When people ask me what my biggest fear is, my gut response is dogs. I don’t like things that regularly lick, bark, jump and can only respond to commands like “sit,” “go,” or “here boy.” Since you can’t really talk to them, you never know what they’ll do. Any time I hear a “ruff ruff,” I think “When Animals Attack.”
But if I really ponder it, I don’t know that my biggest fear is dogs. Another thing I fear: the future.
For the last couple months, I’ve had to confront this fear. On the one hand, I’ve experienced the high of God taking a dream that began decades ago in elementary school, when I discovered the joy I found in putting my thoughts on thick-lined paper using those equally massive jumbo pencils, and most recently, packaging the love into an unexpected reality: law school graduation. I can’t believe how much He’s blessed me in little more than a quarter century.
But the end of something is always the start of something else. I’m excited about life after school, but also wonder what God has planned for the next phase of my life. That’s where the fear comes in. Will this next round be just as wonderful as the one that ended?
Recently, God’s spoken to me about my fear through His Word. I didn’t set out to do a “fear” study, but I kept seeing the lesson in the passages I read. One reoccurring story was the Israelites’ long journey to the land God had promised their ancestors. It’s likely a familiar story, as it was for me, but rereading it brought it to life again. I think it’s worth rehashing.
After God had delivered the Israelites from slavery in Egypt, He revealed to them the location of the land He had already promised. The land, Canaan, had other inhabitants, and the people were told first to send twelve spies to see how they could conquer it. After returning, ten of the twelve spies reported that although the land was as great as God had said, it would be too difficult to conquer it because of the people living there. In fear, they said,
“…the land through which we have gone as spies is a land that devours its inhabitants, and all the people whom we saw are men of great stature. There we saw giants (the descendants of Anak came from the giants) and we were like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so were we in their sight.” Numbers 13: 32b-33.
Only two spies, Caleb and Joshua, said the people could conquer the land with God’s help.
“…if the Lord delights in us, then He will bring us to this land and give it to us, ‘a land which flows with milk and honey,’” they told the people. In response, the people threatened to stone them (Numbers 14: 6-10).
As a result of their fear and unbelief despite all that God had done for them in the past, the Israelites of that generation were not allowed to enter Canaan. Caleb and Joshua were the only exceptions. The rest died in the wilderness over forty years, one year for each of the forty days the spies were sent into the land (Numbers 14: 26-38).
When the Israelites were finally allowed to enter Canaan, they still had to face their fears. But before he led the people into the land, God told Joshua,
“6 Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1: 6-9.
I’ve always been a fan of verses 7-8 for the importance of studying God’s Word for obedience and blessing. However, the devotional book I had been reading pointed out the “anti-fear” lesson. God told Joshua three times to “be strong and courageous,” one time to be very strong and courageous. Why: because God promised to be with Joshua wherever he went.
That hit me. Often, we focus on how we find strength in Christ—sometimes to the exclusion of recognizing that also means we are to be actively strong and courageous. Of course, we can only be these things if we’re following Him, but I think the lesson of being courageous is still often diminished in the name of elevating God’s strength over our own. But God’s strength is our strength, so the lesson is one of faith and responsibility (i.e., “have courage"), as Israel’s story illustrates.
The story also explains the role that fear can play in keeping us from seeing the things God has for us. The Israelites had to believe that God would give them the blessings He promised despite the fact that with human eyes those blessings seemed impossible. Because they chose fear over courage, they in turn were disobedient and, ultimately, never received their blessing. God, however, was still faithful to His promise to give the Israelites their land. It’s a lesson that when we don’t choose to have courage, God still fulfills His plans, but we’re the ones who miss out.
A book I stumbled on at the bookstore also addressed the story, and had this to say about fear:
“All of us have struggled with feelings of self-doubt and discouragement. Even godly men and women in God’s Word battled many fears and temptations. However, they learned that resignation and disobedience only lead to further disappointment and defeat. God has not designed you for failure. He created you for success—not success from the world’s perspective, but success His way—which glorifies and honors Him and also brings many blessings” (p. 11).
Charles Stanley. Stuck in Reverse: Break Free from Fear and Disbelief and Enjoy the Good Things God has for You (2008).
That’s the essence of courage in Christ—fulfilling His purpose for our lives. The popular Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has plans not to harm us, but to prosper us. We can be confident to face the unknown because we know that God will never lead us in a direction of disaster (by contrast, we can lead ourselves that way). As the book excerpt also pointed out, God’s plans do not necessarily involve the world’s success, and, as we know, it does involve hardship (John 16:33). Fear—of the unseen or seen— keeps us from seeing God’s grand picture for our lives.
A final no-fear passage: Psalm 37, also about God’s plans for those who follow Him. Many like verse 4: “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” About not fearing in uncertain times, verses 7-8 say: “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.”
My favorite line: “Don’t fret-it only leads to evil.” When we get scared, let’s not forget the good God has already done for us, and His promise to guide our future. Forgoing fear and remembering His promises lead us to fulfill the God-given call to Courage.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)