Fighting Skills

Yesterday at church we heard our last “Quest” Series message. The final sermon, and Stage, is called “The Land of Love” – the place where God provides a mate. Despite the whimsical-sounding title, the theme of the message is that the “Land of Love” that so many of us pray to reach is actually the Land of Conflict, and couples must learn to deal with conflict in a healthy way.

We discussed that how we approach conflict outside marriage is how we will deal with it in marriage. We addressed the often unhealthy ways we respond to conflict. For example, some of us attack others in conflict, while others retreat, disengaging from communication. Poor ways of dealing with conflict only intensify in marriage.

We talked about the solution to conquering conflict in marriage being the willingness to fight for love. The fighting “tools” were presented as Ephesians 6:10-18, which talks about putting on the full armor of God in order to withstand the devil’s schemes – including marital conflict. Relevant to my recent entries on God’s Word, verse 17 calls us to put on the “Sword of the Spirit,” which is the Word of God. We are to study it, individually and corporately, and apply it to our lives.

I really benefited from the message. It was such a good reminder that preparation for marriage, if that is what God has for us, begins not at engagement but during singleness. It’s is a time to work on changing the negative aspects of our characters that threaten the ability to have God-honoring marriages. In the context of God’s Word, as Hebrews 4:12 points out, God’s Word judges even our deepest thoughts and intentions. When we are responsive to God revealing even our most painful shortcomings through His Word and other means – we see our characters improve, and we become more like Him. In turn, we are able to do a better job of loving not only our mates, but also others.

Despite a world where marriages often do not last, I believe that God deeply desires for many of His people to enter marriages that buck current trends and make bold statements for Him. He’s looking for those of us who don’t see marriage as a key to personal happiness, but chance to bring Him glory. And those servants have to be fighters.

Here’s a link to the message -- it is truly worth the listen (also available for free with iTunes: Search Podcasts for “the bridge podcast,” click “The Bridge DC,” and download “The Land of Love”)!