Prologue
As I begin looking at Song of Songs this month I have to say that my talk on this book will only be a nod to justice—there’s so much imagery, metaphors, themes, etc., to pull from it that I can’t cover everything—and, frankly, would need way more study to be able to understand and touch it all anyway. But I’ll make as many observations as I can about the book as a picture of the kind of romantic love that God delights in.
Diving In
From the moment Song of Songs begins, the reader is swept into a vibrant love narrative. The entire book, eight chapters, involves dialogue between the “Lover,” a man, and “Beloved,” a woman. At times “Friends” also weigh in. The intro to the Book in my Bible sums it up as a “Storybook romance and steamy dialogue between two God-fearing, passionate lovers” (New Women’s Devotional Bible, New International Version, Zondervan, 2006).
And you can feel that passion. In verse 2, “Beloved,” the woman, opens the dialogue by saying of her Lover: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine.” Reading the first chapter and the first several verses of the second, Chapters 1- 2: 1-6, two themes in the section touch me about the couple: 1) the mutual intensity of their love and 2) that their love makes the Beloved feel especially secure.
Mutual Intensity of Affection
Although I see the Beloved’s security playing more prominently in this passage than the “intensity” theme, I’m going to start with intensity because I think it’s part of the foundation for her security in the relationship. From Chapter 1: 9 - Chapter 2:2, the two alternate voicing their affection.
Lover
Chapter 1: 9-11; 15; 17; 2:2
The Lover begins this section of exchanges by complimenting the Beloved. He likens her to a horse fit for a king (v. 9)—essentially, that she is classy; says that he likes her style (v. 10--her jewelry makes her cheek and neck look beautiful). He also says that he is willing to invest in her appearance by making her “earrings of gold, studded with silver.” Further, in verse 15 he declares her beauty.
But he talks about more than just her physical appearance and how he plans to enhance it. He also speaks of their relationship as steady and enduring. He declares in verse 17 that “the beams” of their house are “cedars,” and their “rafters are firs.” Per the commentary, cedar was then seen as a strong, durable type of wood used to build palatial structures such as temples. Fir was a wood pleasing in sight and smell. Even if he may have been talking about a literal building, seeing the reference in the context of their relationship could lead to an interpretation that he is speaking about the health of their relationship. From that perspective, he’s saying their relationship is solid, sweet and that he stands behind it. Further, he notes no woman compares to his Beloved, she is “like a lily among thorns” (2:2).
Beloved
Chapter 1: 2-3; 14, 16; 2:3
The Beloved has her own way of describing their relationship that also esteems both him and their love. As noted, in verse two she says his love is “more delightful than wine.” Beloved also says he smells nice, and that his name—character, is at least as wonderful as his smell—if not more so (v. 3). Further, in verse 12 she states that his presence turns her on (“while the king was at his table, my perfume spread its fragrance”). Beloved also notes that her Lover is pleasant, like myrrh on her body. Further, she says he is classy, handsome and charming—and, as the Lover also said, no one compares to him (v. 14, 16, 2: 3)
She also refers to the quality of their relationship, which, in context, can be seen as “verdant,” or vibrant (v. 16) (although subsequent chapters talk about them not “awakening love” until the right moment, so the reference is probably not sexual). Either way, she, like her Lover, has full confidence in their love!
Beloved’s Security
Chapter 1: 3-8; Chapter 2: 3-6
I want to spend more time talking about Beloved’s security in her Lover’s affection—a theme that hit me as one of the most important aspects of the passage. In the same opening section where she compliments his love being “more delightful than wine” and his scent and name being like perfume, she also declares, twice, “No wonder the maidens love you!” (v. 3-4). She isn’t the least bit jealous or disdainful with that statement—she sees it as yet another reason to love him! She is sure of his love for her, and he makes her feel that she is the only woman for him—despite the fact that other women surround them. As a result, she has no problem acknowledging that these women see his value, too!
In subsequent verses the Beloved clues us in on why she feels secure in his love. One reason is that she is comfortable being with him, and the context shows that he receives her as she is. In chapter 1 verses 4-6 she talks of being “dark yet lovely,” explaining that she is sun burnt from working long hours in the vineyard (not a natural darkness; as is often pointed out, the reference is not racial) (also, she still has confidence in her own beauty despite her insecurity; noting in verse 5 that she is still lovely).
Any feelings of personal insecurity she has, however, do not extend to her feelings about their relationship. After explaining her appearance, she quickly moves to asking where her lover “rests his sheep,” wondering “why she should be like a veiled woman beside the flocks of” his friends (v. 7). A shepherd, we know, guides the sheep, giving them nothing to fear. Likewise, here she feels comfortable associating with him “as she is,” and being near his friends—she sees no reason to be “veiled” in their presence. I think other observations can be made from this dialogue, but in the context of the security theme, with him she is free to be herself—and she wants to be around him. That says a lot! Further, her friends encourage her to find him, and graze her own “young goats” where he is (v. 8). (also note: one commentary explained the use of "flocks" as a metaphor referring to Christ’s relationship "shepherding" the church—although it was an older commentary, and some newer ones point out that, generally, this comparison is problematic because it is unsupported by the plain text: “though [imagery in the book] does serve as a wonderful picture of God’s relationship to Israel and Christ’s relationship to the church, there are no clues within the book itself to support such a reading. In the last analysis, one’s interpretation of this book should come from within the book itself, and preferably from the clues given the author by himself.” NIV Compact Bible Commentary,” by John H. Sailhamer, page 359, 1994. Again, I will try not to get bogged down in the debate, but I found that comment particularly relevant!)
There also is further discussion of her finding relationship security by her Lover’s actions. In Chapter 2, verse 3, Beloved says she “delight[s] to sit in his shade.” She further explains that “He has taken [her] to the banquet hall, and his banner over [her] is love.” A banquet hall is generally filled with people having a big, special feast. He guides her there, and showers her with love, publicly. And she responds favorably—asking that he give her food, “strengthen her with apples,” because she is “faint with love” (2:5).
Further, there is talk of him making her feel physical security as well. In verse six she says, “his left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me.” But in the very next verse comes the refrain that is found a few times throughout the book: “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the doves of the field: do not arouse love until it desires” (2:7). Next time, we’ll pick up the story there.
Thoughts on the Chapter
The first chapter already says so much about true love—and I was only able to hit a couple relevant points! One is that true love is reciprocated. The Lover and the Beloved are equally enamored by each other physically, personally and emotionally. And the entire story speaks to their spiritual connection (which I did not touch much here—but likely will throughout).
The way the lovers talk about each other also seems to indicate they’ve had to travel some miles to feel—and express—their love so openly. But at this point it is deep, particularly the extent of the Beloved’s assurance of her Lover’s affection. While both feel a sense of security in the relationship, the Beloved expresses that security different from the Lover—and seems to rely on it more than he. The Lover can assert that their “house,” which could be interpeted as a reference not necessarily just to a building, but also their love, is built, over time, of cedar. But he doesn’t speak of being led by her, assured of his desirability to her or being held by her as reasons for feeling secure. By contrast, Beloved makes these references in the context of security many times; for example, when she expresses security in seeking after him as he tends flocks (1:7); having him take her to the banquet hall (2:4); him holding her (2:6).
I believe firmly that, even today, the key to a woman’s heart (if other elements are met, such as emotional, physical and spiritual connections) is making her feel secure. This should not be a security about how she looks or who she is (although he can reinforce her worth, she should possess that on her own already; even as the passage points out, the Beloved could acknowledge her physical insecurities, but still call herself lovely--pointing out her value aside from her relationship with her lover). Instead, it’s an assurance that makes her confident about his love. For the Beloved that required (and still does) that the Lover show gentle leadership in a variety of ways, from his words to his actions. And his expressions give her the confidence to be open about her love—and give the same sense of security to him--albeit in a different form.
In Christian circles, there’s so much discussion about how a godly romance should be initiated—especially how a man should approach a woman (or, at times, vice versa-a debate which I blogged about a couple years ago). I think sometimes we just need to press pause and take a closer look at what God has already said about how romantic love should be initiated and expressed—not only for the answer to a question, but also to grasp a deeper understanding of His brand of love--the only that truly lasts.
The first chapter of Song of Songs is only the beginning of a book that provides a snapshot of what heavenly love on earth looks like. Let’s really ruminate on it…
Up Next: Before “Love” Awakens…
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