THE GOSPEL

I’ve been thinking a lot about salvation recently. We as Christians often have a limited view of it, seeing it as just the “moment” we prayed the “Sinner’s Prayer” to accept Jesus as Savior as a child, teen or adult. But salvation is meant to be so much more than a onetime thing. Instead, we are to commit ourselves to accepting an aspect of it anew every day.

Three Aspects of Salvation

Understanding how salvation is supposed to impact our lives can be summarized through three terms that may be familiar to you: justification, sanctification and glorification. I am not prepared to do a complete analysis of each, but I do link each term to a more detailed explanation. Roughly, justification is the aspect of salvation we tend to think of most: the “one-time act” of accepting Jesus as Savior through which “we are declared righteous and holy by God based on our faith in Christ’s atonement on the cross.” Sanctification occurs as a result of justification and is “the ongoing process of being made righteous that continues throughout our lives on earth.” It requires active commitment to experience fully. The last aspect, glorification, is the ultimate one that we will experience only when we get to heaven and witness “God’s final removal of sin” from the lives of Christians.

The three aspects of salvation can be summed up as relating to the past – i.e., justification (when we are justified, our sin is no longer counted against us – we become “new creations”); present – the sanctification process that occurs in this life; and future – glorification, which happens only after this life. (Whew! Please consult additional sources if needed:))

Being Sanctified

I’m focusing on sanctification. God has really been revealing to me in a new way that, once we are justified, on this earth sanctification is the aspect of salvation that makes the most practical difference. While we cannot save ourselves from sin, if we do not commit to sanctification salvation will have little impact on how we live. In Philippians 2: 12 – 13 The apostle Paul admonished the church of Philippi to essentially commit to sanctification:

12Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

Paul wasn’t saying the church needed to earn its salvation, but in order to have God work through them “according to his good purpose” (v. 13) they would have to actively pursue sanctification through serious, constant effort. The “fear and trembling” was not referring to being afraid, but rather an awe of God that totally relies on Him. The rationale is provided in the following verse: “for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” When we recognize God’s power and are humbled by it, we allow Him to make changes in our lives – for Him to “save us” all over again!

Sans Sanctification

A picture of our Christian lives without committing to sanctification highlights why we need it to save us daily.

When we don’t make sanctification our aim The Gospel has no real power in our lives, and there is no distinguishable difference between us and someone who does not know Christ. A lack of commitment to sanctification is why we often freely justify our sinful behavior based on other aspects of our identity that should be trumped by an identity in Christ. For example: “He cheats because he’s a man” or “she lies because it’s how she was raised.” We may all have sins that we are prone to, but the power that comes through walking with Christ daily is great enough to enable us to conquer any sin. When we commit to sanctification, we see ourselves making those changes we may have believed we could not – and growing spiritually in the process!

Sanctification is also how we gain a spiritual, biblical perspective in our world. As Christians we are called to have a different view of the world than those who do not know Christ. Romans 12: 2 says, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” As the verse highlights, it begins with our minds, and it is only through renewing them that we are able to see our world with true spiritual specs.

By contrast, when we do not commit to sanctification our thinking can be blinded to God’s principles. We don’t see a value in reading our Word daily, fellowshipping with other believers or serving, because we only have so many hours in the day. We mock the whole purity thing. We’re okay with all the world’s forms of entertainment, even if they put our thinking at odds with Christ’s commands.

Further, choosing sanctification saves us from the “cheap fixes” society offers for life’s problems. For example, the Gospel keeps us from taking a “self-help” approach to our challenges. Our world has a book, character, program, or “positive thought” that we are supposed to rely on to change what we do not like about ourselves – and only those things. The Gospel also prevents us from approaching situations based only on what we think is practical or what makes “common sense.”

The Word of God teaches this about our wisdom: it ultimately fails us. Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." The Bible also says that God’s plans for us are excellent: “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” We never get lasting fulfillment from any “self-help” kit featuring the world’s designs. Committing to sanctification results in us knowing that we can only see what is in front of us, and without the God who has eternity in His hands we cannot live abundantly, to the full.

The Gospel, in its pure form, also keeps us from religion for its sake. It stops us from judging our status with God based on superficial “marks” such as how many generations of ministers we have in our families, what Christian practices we follow or what denomination we do – or do not – belong to. We recognize what wretches we are, and that it is only through God’s power constantly at work in us individually that we can live differently – no religious institution can save us.

The God Who Keeps Saving

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, committing ourselves to salvation in this life allows us to see The Gospel become so paramount in our lives that it is like our DNA; we must breathe it daily. Further, we share it with others. We start to preach Christ crucified in everything we do – our words, thoughts and deeds. We sound like the Apostle Paul, who could boldly say, as a result of committing to sanctification following justification, “I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes” (Romans 1:16).

Ultimately, The Gospel is about life change only He can bring. His power, through The Gospel, saved us once, and, as we allow it, saves us still.

The Most Excellent Way, Uncut

I’ve been working on this entry for a while and was still unable to finish revising it. Yet I had so many thoughts to share that I didn’t want to abandon it. It needs a serious edit, but I decided to post as is, for now…

I was having lunch at a State Bar event, of all places, when I got into a conversation about defining compatibility. The gist of most comments was that having “things in common” such as family background, interests and “chemistry” are signs two people are “meant to be.” But missing from the conversation was the most important element for a follower of Christ: the spiritual connection.

I have always believed that relationships are costly endeavors that should only be entered in limited circumstances. Before 2000, however, those "circumstances" sounded something like the coversation I had at the State Bar Event. As I shared in my entry last August about my purity journey, that was the year I started college and had to decide the kind of guys I would be open to dating as an adult. At that point God reinforced that I should only be dating Christians (that’s not my focus here, but see this message series that does a great job of breaking down why).

But little did I know that there is so much more to relationships God’s way than whether a person is saved. Since then He’s been teaching me a series of principles –some quite simple, others deeper, that have been life to me. While they may be considered too rigid by some, I believe they are biblically supported and dramatically cut drama. I am by no means claiming to be a relationship expert – I have no such credentials – but I have avoided some pitfalls by choosing not to compromise in key areas. I also have learned from my mistakes.

Overarching Principle

The underlying assumption I want to state before beginning is that all romantic decisions should be made based on His leading in a specific situation. I do not believe that there is a cookie cutter path to a God-pleasing romantic relationship, but there are clear guidelines. God has the power to change anyone’s heart or situation – He is a healer, a transformer – The Redeemer. He can take the least honoring relationships and turn them into unions for His glory. But the conversation is not about what God can fix, but what He desires for us from the outset. Following Jesus is a radical, costly endeavor that is meant to involve complete obedience. Living for Christ is not about getting what we want through compromise with God, but making decisions that honor Him best. It is seeking "my utmost for His highest," if you will. Let’s get to it.

Principle 1: Personality can be the biggest false positive.

In all the talk about looks not being everything we can forget that personality isn’t, either. We often get sold on people romantically because our demeanors gel: We get along. We have fun together. We have similar interests. We can talk “for hours.” While those qualities are not wrong in themselves, we can end up making much more of them than we should – to the point that we overlook someone’s spiritual condition.

But from a biblical perspective personality cannot make up for spiritual shortcomings. Before we enter a romantic relationship we are to consider the other’s spiritual state. If it doesn’t measure up we are to look the other way – no matter how much “personality” the love interest has.

I think it helps to be reminded that if you are a pleasant, social or otherwise agreeable person, you are bound to meet different kinds of people who might attest to your shared compatibility. They may even think of you as “The One.” How we as Christians sort through the “hype” is by recognizing that our place on earth is to glorify God – not just to find someone we get along with and could make us happy. A great personality without the key spiritual ingredients does not bring God glory. When we look at it from this perspective, the number of “compatible” people dwindles – for the better.

And what is the right spiritual condition? Ties to the next principle.

Principle 2: It's not enough to be with another Christian who loves God very much - beliefs matter.

This area can stir controversy in Christian circles. Some say as long two people are Christians and “living for God,” in a relationship it really does not matter much whether they believe significantly different teachings about God’s Word, or have differing “doctrines.” But I am convinced that from a “best” perspective – i.e., in considering what honors God the most – it does matter.

Notable differences in beliefs usually do not end with theology – they translate into differences in lifestyle. In other words, if you make “x” lifestyle choice based on your faith and the other saved person can’t understand it or does not do the same, chances are you can trace it to your differing understanding of the Bible. If the only matters of faith you discuss with someone else are general, such as "why faith is important" or "why I love God" you might initially be deceived – you have to dig deeper to find out what a person really believes about God. As the saying goes, the devil is in the details.

Differing doctrine can easily detract from spiritual growth and the relationship – especially in marriage, where God intends complete unity. When there are fundamental differences in beliefs the main options are to 1) agree to disagree; 2) compromise or 3) flat out divide. If we genuinely hold our beliefs based on scripture, however, none of these are good or right options.

One way for two people to determine compatible beliefs initially (observing someone’s life over time being the ultimate) is to visit each other’s churches. I personally believe some minor differences are okay, such as music style (e.g., hymns or contemporary music). But when the preacher gets up to give a message, hopefully from the Word of God – i.e., The Source, The Guide, The Power, The Hope, The Transformation, The Life– you should agree with what is being taught. I think some red flags are if you generally find the message is lacking in substance or plain disagree. It is not our responsibility in relationships to plot how we can change someone else’s beliefs, and when we are romantically interested in someone we may easily be tempted to compromise our spiritual judgment by opening ourselves up to beliefs we know are questionable to keep a relationship going. In doing so we may hinder our ability to discern His good, pleasing and perfect will. And it is downhill from there.

The bottom line is our faith is supposed to be our heartbeat. When we compromise it, we are messing with living the abundant life God intends. We need to jealously guard the kinds of beliefs we are open to because the wrong ones choke our faith. I believe those not in agreement with you spiritually in heart, mind and lifestyle are not intended to capture your romantic emotion. Your significant other must be able to help you thrive spiritually, or you are being held back. PERIOD.

Next: On the kind of person I believe lifts you up.

Principle 3: You must have complete trust in who a person is in Christ.

Life lets us know clearly that people always fail us somehow, either by their choices or situations out of their control. However, scripture teaches that God never fails. Psalm 118: 8 says it well: “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man” (KJV). We also can understand the faithfulness of God from our own lives.

I believe putting confidence in God has to extend to the character of a mate. You have to be able to trust that they are so rooted in Christ that no matter how rough life gets, they will never stray far from The Source. The Bible says these kinds of people do exist – and describes them:

7 But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
8 He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.

It is interesting that the very next verse is “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (v. 9). Left to our own devices, our good is worthless – like filthy rags. If we’re putting hope in someone else to love us and make us happy, we are doomed.

But when a person’s confidence is in Christ, they overcome whatever challenges life brings because He is their Lifegiver. This is not to say they will be perfect– but they will not get stuck in their sin. When you can trust their relationship in Christ, you know disagreements will be momentary and shortcomings can be put in perspective because, ultimately, their eyes are fixed on The Grandest picture.

Further, a person devoted to Christ will always know how to love you best because they are relying not on their own ability to be a good lover or what they feel for you at the moment, but on the biblical definition of love. I like how it was put in part two the message series on compatibility that I referred to earlier: “You want someone whose Number One is God…[not] someone who replaces God with you on the throne of their lives.” When we place someone else over God, we idolize them. And idols always fail to meet our expectations. When God is first in our lives, however, our worlds will never come crashing down. God wants us with people who understand that!

As Christians we are on this earth to glorify God. Anyone who wants to take you on a detour from faith depending on circumstances is outside what God intends. It also means that we must all be the kind of people who do not waver – as we evaluate others’ shortcomings, we need to check ourselves!

Principle 4: Interaction amounting to "holy lust” should not result in a relationship.

I believe there is a place for assessing factors of compatibility beyond the spiritual – yet still in a spiritual context. I don’t think I’ve coined the term “holy lust,” but I do sort of claim it. In this context holy lust is when you have admiration for someone that is related to Christ on some level, but ultimately there are too many elements of compatibility missing for it to be a God-made match.

My experience with holy lust in college will be Exhibit A. Junior year (2003) I met a guy whom I admired very much spiritually. We shared the same beliefs and he had a zeal for God that drew you to him. I also was very physically attracted to him. But we had little else that connected us. It amounted to the following equation:

Spiritual admiration + Deep Physical Attraction + Nothing Else (0) = holy lust

But holy means to be set apart, so all that was really left standing is plain lust.

Some of the many issues? We not only had very different goals, he also couldn't understand mine. When I would talk about law school plans, he would literally cringe (I don't remember doing the same to him, but then again I couldn't see my face). Also, if we weren't talking about faith there would be absolute silence. Additionally, as great as he was, I had very serious doubts about how he would express his faith in difficulty. I also did not think I could give him the encouragement he'd need in those moments, nor did I believe that he would be able to do the same for me. Although in Christ all things are possible, we are again not to seek the possible but His perfect will. God let me know - startlingly clearly - that this man, great as he was objectively, was not for me. It took me a little while to grasp what God was telling me -- but once I did I had no option but to praise Him for letting me know before we got into a relationship.

I believe whomever God wants you with should be excited about His plans for you--and how yours and theirs fit. As I’ve said, they should challenge, strengthen and encourage us to thrive in Christ. And we should want the very best for that person – better than ourselves. Situations of “holy” lust really just mean that, in another way, the necessary spiritual factors are not met.

Principle 5: There are not that many people out there to be dating.

A reaction to these principles may be that they all sound lovely in theory, but they are unrealistic – there are not many people out there who meet these criteria.

That is partially true. Setting sound standards in dating, however, is meant to eliminate people at the outset (i.e., save you the emotional drama)– which is why I think a red flag can be spending too much time dating different people. Yes, God in His power can bring several potential mates around you at once – but more often than not when quantity of dates increase, the number of people who meet God’s standards do not rise with it. Every male or female you lock eyes with on the train; strike up a conversation with in the coffee shop or meet at the lounge is not a potential mate. Dating a lot can also can also cause us to start putting matchmaking into our own hands. We begin to tell ourselves, albeit subconsciously, that our efforts will yield the desired return. And when they do not, our mood can easily begin to rise and fall based on how our dating plan is going. Worse, we turn our focus away from God. We start spinning wheels –supposedly moving, but going nowhere – and we may even end up taking steps back. If our dating life is not rooted in Christ, all our efforts are worthless.

I had my own bout with trying to make a relationship happen my first semester of law school in 2005. At that time I dabbled in the idea that in dating "heaven helps those who help themselves” (i.e., not a biblical reference). I had moved out of my parents' house (temporarily:)), was carless and needed to find a Metro-accessible place to worship on Sunday morning. Hoping to feed my spiritual life and my romance, I started looking for churches that had both good preaching and single men. I never found the two together; it was one or the other. I ended up in some interesting places that claimed one thing but taught another.

The last straw was visiting this one church in December 2005 that had relatively good preaching (note the compromise in that statement) and touted a great “singles” Bible study. I came back to the church later that week just to attend. I remember being livid when I arrived to find only three participants, all over the age of 40. One man looked at me a little too excitedly, and I glared at him. That day I realized I could not live that way. I said, “LORD, this is emotionally draining – and I’m not even getting anything out of this spiritually! I am leaving the matchmaking to you.” I have never since gone to church for a date. That was one of the best decisions I could have made.

If we want to go after something, ladies – and men – we should chase holiness; chase righteousness. God’s Word is clear that this is the only pursuit that is never in vain – it always reaps dividends. Want to learn how to be content in singleness and be open to God providing someone in His time? Get in fellowship with other believers. Read your Word daily. Find ways to serve. And we don’t do these things for what we’ll get from God, but so we can live the life He intends for us. You’ll start to find that not having a man or woman won’t leave you desperate and alone. Even when God does bring someone in your life it is still important to allow Him to steer in His timing, and to be open to Him having other plans. If you’re pursuing righteousness at all times, you’ll have the tools to develop a godly romance if and when He provides--and check your motives daily throughout the process. My prayer is that we give this area to Him completely!

Principle 6: God is not limited by statistics.

The principle that rebuts the idea that setting strong, biblical standards in dating leads to romantic impossibility is to remember Who is in control of all things. If we really recognized God’s power it would change how we view His ability to provide us a mate in His timing despite what Census data may indicate. A passage I am meditating on this summer is Colossians 1. My favorite section is titled in the NIV “The Supremacy of Christ” (NKJV says the “Prominence of Christ;” NASB “The Incomparable Christ”). Verses 15 – 17 start the section:

15He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. 17He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

I love that He is the “firstborn over all creation” (v. 15) and that He holds all things together (v. 17). If we truly believed this, it would change our outlook in dating and beyond. We would know that He is taking complete care of all things, and we would rest comfortably in the fact that he can provide someone where there seems to be no one.

Principle 7: In relationships we need to learn from our past mistakes and forgive each other.

The last principle I’ll share is an underlying one of sorts. I think it is important to distinguish standards from judgment. Setting principles in relationships should not be to “eliminate” people based on their past mistakes, but instead to evaluate them based on God’s standards as a whole. None of us is perfect, so it is impossible to find someone who is. It is only through God working in us that we can be different. This recognition should humble us all. We honor God by learning from our relationship errors and committing to godliness in relationships moving forward. While I believe couples should be frank about their relationship histories– including missteps, once they are addressed they should be buried forever – not brought up to manipulate or otherwise harm. Someone who hangs your past over your head is not practicing godly love -- it must include accepting each other just as we are – the way God does for all of us.

Note

I believe that as we seek Him, God reveals to us principles in dating that are to be followed. At the same time, we should learn from our mistakes and use them for His glory. Decisions in dating should be made with marriage in mind: we should desire to save our very best for the person God intends for us. This is the most excellent way in romantic love.

The Body

The last couple years God has really been teaching me what it means to unite with all those who believe on His name – The Church, or the Body of Christ – despite our differences.

The Bible defines “Believer” as one who has accepted the gift of salvation, as defined in Romans 10: 9-10:

9That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.

Anyone who accepts Jesus as Savoir is a Christian – there is no other criteria.

Yet somehow as Christians we divide ourselves in so many ways. By denomination. Geography. Race. Class. Political party. Countless other ways. We go as far as redefining “Christian” to include only people who share our specific traits or beliefs.

Recognizing the flaw in division is not to ignore the fact that, in particular, there are distinctions in beliefs warranting some separation. Denominations exist in part because there are very real and important differences in biblical interpretation that influence our ability to understand and grow in Christ. The Bible warns us that there will be many wrong teachings in the world and we need to be very cautious about the beliefs we embrace and have a sound understanding of His Word.

But valuing The Body is not about agreeing with every Christian, but instead uniting to encourage each other to love and serve the God we all claim despite our differences. We are not to be defined by our disagreements, but our commonality in Christ.

The New Testament provides the blueprint for Unity in The Body. In it the Early Church struggled with many of the issues our churches do today (go figure!). For example, they fought over which leaders to “follow.” They wrestled with which customs to uphold, such as what day to "hold sacred" and worship on and what kind of food to eat. Yet Paul and others admonished them to focus on encouraging each other to grow in Christ rather than on distinctions that ultimately detracted from the goal. In another letter, Galatians, Chapter 3, Paul declared:

28There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.

Abraham from The Old Testament, known as the “patriarch” of ancient Israel and a model of righteousness, is named in the verse to highlight that Jesus’ death on the Cross gives life to all who believe, making us “heirs” to the same promise of eternal life with Him regardless of our backgrounds. In fact, while on earth Jesus himself prayed for the unity of all believers as a means of drawing the world to Him.

So what does unity look like? A famous passage on it, I Corinthians 12: 12-31, says it must involve us valuing and using our diverse gifts in tandem to serve Him. Hebrews 10:24 says it should cause us to “put our heads together” to come up with ways to love others and do good deeds. In Galatians it encourages Christians to do good to all, especially “to those who belong to the family of believers.” All these instructions require Christians of varying backgrounds to snuggle up!

Lessons on Unity

There are so many aspects of our faith that should cause us to shelf our differences to promote Unity.

An area God has used to show me the need to unite with believers of different denominations is sexual purity (yes, I have learned so much from this pursuit!). A few years ago I was first given the opportunity to team with some fellow Christians who share my passion for purity but have certain beliefs that land us in different buildings on Sunday morning. The differences were highlighted at some group gatherings. Early on in the partnership I had to really consider if those distinctions should determine my participation. God convicted me that in the context they should not. I am so thankful I listened to His calling – I have had the chance not only to encourage others in this area, but also to get the kind of support in purity that is often hard to find in even my more comfortable Christian circles. God has a purpose in us pursuing unity, and He blesses us when we embrace it!

Another area that I have been reminded of is the importance of racial and ethnic unity in Christ. Growing up most Christians I worshipped with were a different race or ethnicity, which has generally made me welcome the physical diversity of The Body. Yet over time I had settled into admittedly more comfortable circles of Christians that more closely resemble me. Although our societal norms can make it difficult to pursue fellowship with believers of different racial or ethnic backgrounds we should actively do so – regardless of how we think others might react. This does not necessarily mean that we have to switch churches; we can take other opportunities to partner with Christians from all over the world. The fact that overcoming racial and ethnic barriers is addressed prominently in New Testament accounts of the spread of the Gospel is an indication of how important it is for us to step out in this area. When we do, we find that our commonality in Christ is greater than many of our seemingly “insurmountable” differences!

In Unity

The Body of Christ is not just the people we go to church with, but the entire family of believers - in all corners of the earth. Imagine how much more effective Christians would be if we all embraced Unity as He intended! We would show the world that knowing Christ can shatter supposedly impenetrable boundaries, reaching more people for Him! We would also experience more of the edification that He intends for us as a Body.

When we all get to heaven, we won’t have nametags separating us by our differences. Instead, believers from every nation, tribe, people and language will join in worshipping The Creator. While on earth let’s find ways to fold division and pursue The Oneness to which we are called. Our Body will be much healthier for it.

WORSHIP

There was this 40-something year-old man at my church growing up that several of us kids singled out as “weird.” Admittedly, he had some curious tendencies that children were apt to pick up on, such as with his speech and gait. My brother and I would also spy him sitting in church, usually front and center, raising his hands at what we thought were random times during the service – singing, a message or an announcement.

We thought it was so funny – especially because no one in the church did that. Services were generally very quiet: for example, many people did not clap after a special presentation, because it was often seen as showing glory to self rather than God. Also, during music time, or “praise and worship,” we would sing hymns to organ or piano music – or with an orchestra (but no guitar or drums). No one would move or talk apart from singing the words – after that, the church would become you-could-hear-a-pin-drop silent.

To this day I am not quite positive why the “weird” man would raise his hands at certain times during the service. He may have been working with the sound crew, which used to record tapes of services – a couple times we later saw him assisting them after church. But he also could have been doing it in worship. I confess that I am not much aware of it being done throughout a service, but I can say that despite my upbringing, where church services were very quiet and hands were not raised, I now lift mine during song. And the practice has been part of my ongoing journey to understand the meaning of authentic worship.

The Journey

To a degree my change in worship style reflects a larger trend – a shift to a more “contemporary” style that even some traditional churches have made in efforts to reach younger generations for Christ. Even my church growing up now has one contemporary service where people freely raise their hands during singing.

But the change for me has been about more than just going with the crowd. I used to reject the idea of hand raising or moving to music in church because it was unfamiliar. I remember watching with curiosity some students at my Christian middle and high school doing both during our weekly chapel services. Or I would see it when my family visited churches of our fellow Nigerians, where the worship style was much more lively than anything I had experienced. I remember awkwardly clapping my hands or just kind of looking around.

I started being open to more expression in worship about five or six years ago. I began finding that raising my hands in song, along with closing my eyes, helped me block out whatever was going on around me and point my focus to The One it should have been on all along. And now those acts – along with some movement—are part of my worship in song both in and outside church.

The Why

I can point to no “moment” when my attitude to being more expressive in worship through music changed – it was more gradual. I was impacted by several sermons I heard about taking the focus of worship from self to God. They had me thinking about the need not to choose worship style based on public opinion.

I also really dug into the Psalms about that time and remember focusing on the ones that were written as songs of praise, much like hymns (I love charts that show the types of psalms by category –like this one—I think they really add to an understanding of worship). When reading ones by King David I also could not help but be reminded of the story in 2 Samuel 6 where he “danc[ed] with all his might” publicly in thanks to God when the Ark of the Covenant was brought to Jerusalem.

King David’s wife Michal, daughter of former King Saul, watched him that day with disdain. She said to him after: "How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!" (v. 20).

His reply: "It was before the LORD, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the LORD's people Israel—I will celebrate before the LORD. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor" (v. 21b – 22).

If a king could become “undignified” in the name of worshipping The Creator, I started to think, who was I to be so uncomfortable or concerned with others’ thoughts if I were expressive in worship?

I also believe the change to more contemporary music – through updating either instrument, words, or both – has had a special impact on me. Although I love hymns because the words are so rich, rooted in scripture and uplifting, they also would not play in my car stereo set to the organ or piano music I grew up signing them to in church - but they do with a guitar or some other remix that is often played at my church now. I also love the modern worship songs that still have a closeness to scripture but are put in more colloquial terms.

Criticism

Some say the type of music in worship should not be a big deal and even that contemporary music detracts from worship. But with that idea is often a sense that traditional music is somehow “more holy.” But the worship God honors begins from our hearts -- not with a music genre. I believe a way to give God our inmost being is to put Him in our everyday space. Contemporary music in worship can help us avoid "compartmentalizing" God, relegating worship to moments when we feel like praising Him through traditional music. It also can keep us from seeing worship as drudgery - from it we can learn to give God praise just as we are.

This is not to say that hymns in their traditional form do not promote worship. Again, it is first a heart matter. Even if we have music we like in church but do not open up our minds, our lives – our beings – to worship, we cannot make up for it with instrument alone. Further, if worship in song were tied only to having the music or words that are most comfortable to us we would again be limiting our praise. When we are truly being authentic we can worship in the most traditional of settings and the most contemporary. But, at the same time, I do believe that connecting Christ with our everyday life – as modern worship strives to do – helps with authenticity in a way that traditional music often cannot.

Worship in a Nutshell

Summing up worship in just a few words brings to mind this definition from a modern praise song called From The Inside Out: “the art of losing myself in bringing [Him] praise.”

Ultimately, worship has to be something we do every day, in a variety of ways: our thoughts, our words, our actions. When we are constantly focused on following Jesus, we can translate that into showing Him adoration through song. That may involve us raising our hands and closing our eyes or stepping to the beat. It might also involve complete stillness and silence. But at its best, I think it involves both. And no form of worship – song or otherwise –
should be stifled by personal discomfort or a fear of what others may think. Worship, like anything else about our faith, should not be about obligation, but freedom.

At every point in our lives we have a reason to give Him praise. When we sing to Him -- in church or elsewhere -- let’s lose ourselves in His presence – and not care who’s looking.

Beauty at Its Best (Blogiversary)

It's my four-year blogiversary! Actually, last week was –I have been sharing thoughts online since May 14, 2006. I wanted to mark it by doing a "look back" of sorts, but I haven't had the chance. Maybe that will happen the 5th year...But I will say I’m thankful it is bringing God glory, and I pray it always does! Feel free to scroll through entries from years past, and share thoughts! On to the entry…

I used to have this rule that I think originated around middle school: Short shorts were fine—even good— but booty shorts were bad. How one would distinguish "short" from "booty" was quite obvious to me: Short shorts completely covered the butt and stretched about two or three inches onto the thigh. Booty shorts, on the other hand, exposed the back side in some form. That was a no-no.

I thought my rule genius. In fact, I had several friends who shared it, and we defended it with dogma (as long as our parents weren't around. Their presence would result in some kind of temporary modification of dress, such as a roll down of the pant leg to slightly below mid thigh).

But my “precedent” of sorts would be decisively overturned the summer after my freshman year of college. It was a sweltering July day and I was heading to my car upon leaving my on-campus job. I was walking along an edge of campus that was pretty quiet that time of year, save cars passing through on the way to the center of the university.

I cannot forget what I wore that day: “cute” little jean shorts and a plain, sleeveless pink tank top. I rounded the outfit off with matching pink, foam-wedged flip-flops. As I clicked and flopped my way to the car, daydreaming, with nary a soul in sight, I was suddenly interrupted by sounds that weren’t just in my head. And they were loud sounds. Someone, a male, passing by in a small red clunker honked his horn and yelled something I never heard. Then another car, and another male, did the same. And another. And at least one more. I do not know how many cars there were in all, but there was a band of them, each influenced by the last. At least one of them said an audible word (which I will not repeat) clarifying, if there was any doubt, that the obscenities they yelled were directed at me.

I remember feeling so low – ashamed, like an object. I had heard catcalling, at me or someone else, before, but in my memory I had never been singled out that way.

It also was the first time that I had really stopped to consider that, perhaps, what I wore was sending a message that could contribute to the negative attention. While I knew to avoid extremes in dress and maintain some form of decency –by most standards I was by no means walking around “naked” or “half naked” – I had not thought I bore any responsibility in my dress beyond that.

But in my heart, “deep down”—if you will—I knew that I was not completely comfortable with short shorts—especially as I neared, and crossed over, into adulthood. And those times I sneaked out of the house so my parents could not see what I was wearing – or left with some cover up that I took off once I was out of their sight —had on some level been not just a desire to avoid getting caught, but also moments of realization that I had willfully shrugged off.

The Dress Debate

I know my story probably prompts many different reactions. Some may be matter of fact – “of course what you wear sends a message; why would you ever wear short shorts?” or perhaps disagreement: “men are perverts; they always stare at women, how is that your fault?” Or, maybe, “you can wear anything you want as long as you feel classy in it – the person makes the clothes.” But whatever your position, as Christians at the heart of our evaluation of what is appropriate to wear should not be public opinion--negative or positive--but the standard set in God’s Word. While the Bible may not state in inches how long a pair of shorts should be or how tight a top can fit, its guidance on how we are to determine our dress can be applied to individual outfits.

I Peter 3

In I Peter 3: 3-5a (the full passage is on wives submitting to husbands, which is for another time) the Apostle Peter addresses women, saying: “3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.”

The passage isn’t a railing against braids, jewelry and nice clothes. The examples were actually a contextual reference to what was fashionable at that time. But either way, the verse does not state “do not wear” braids, jewelry and fine clothes (for example, as one pastor put it, “there are more seductive hairstyles than braids.” Thank God, lol!). Rather, that “your beauty should not come from” –or be derived from –those things. It should be determined by “the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight” (v. 4). In other words, our self confidence, our value, our worth – is not to be decided by our appearance. The best thing about us, ladies – and men – isn’t supposed to be what we look like, but who were are in Christ. And in Peter’s charge to women in this passage that definition should include a “gentle and quiet spirit,” which honors God and lasts far longer than anything we can dress up on the outside.

“Gentle and Quiet Spirit”

I had a conversation at a gathering of ladies earlier this week about the meaning of “a gentle and quiet spirit.” The temptation is to interpret it as a stereotypical “gentle, quiet woman” who says very little, and, if anything, “yes,” and talks in a really soft voice. However, a key word in the verse is “spirit.” The denotation of spirit is “an individual as characterized by a given attitude, disposition, character, action, etc.” This could include the stereotypically gentle “person,” but it also could refer to a person who exhibits a certain “attitude” or response to situations. One commentary refers to it here as an “adornment” of that spirit. The Bible Knowledge Commentary: New Testament, 848 (2004).

While there are instances as women when submission, in marriage or other areas God has defined, calls for literal quietness or gentleness, and perhaps the “gentle and quiet” person may be more amenable to that, this passage really is focusing on an attitude wives are called to exhibit regardless of personality. A “gentle and quiet” person can “gently and quietly” show hostility where grace should be shown; likewise, a woman who may be “loud and harsh” can develop a “gentle and quiet” attitude that leads her to show mercy and love where she would have given wrath.

We also need to remember, ladies, that God gave all of us our personalities—even the “loud” and “harsh” among us. He does not necessarily tell us to totally rid ourselves of them—He only wants to develop in us the the fruit of His Spirit that all who believe are called to exhibit irrespective of personality – for our spiritual growth – and His ultimate glory.

I Timothy 4: 7-8; 11-13; 15-16

The pursuit of “inner” beauty can be summed up in one word: “godliness.” I love how Paul explains this in I Timothy 4, which I think gives a good metaphor for the subordinate relationship that our pursuit of outer beauty should have in comparison to the quest for inner:

“7Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. 8For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

11Command and teach these things. 12Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. 13Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching.

15Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. 16Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.

Verse 8 says, so beautifully, that devoting ourselves to pursuit of the physical—in this case exercise— however beneficial, is inferior to a pursuit of "godliness," which has eternal worth: “8For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” Note however, that the passage does not dismiss physical training – i.e., it has “some value,” but ultimately not nearly as much as spiritual “exercise.” While time at the gym; skin treatments; clothing and make-up purchases are not necessarily wrong, they must not be remotely as important to us as the pursuit of godliness. I’ll also revisit some of the activities Paul discusses as part of godly pursuit:

• Showing leadership in:
-Speech (e.g., using kind and encouraging words)
-Life (what you spend your time doing; e.g., service and fellowship
with other believers)
-Love (your attitude toward all)
-Faith (pursuing personal growth)
-Purity (can’t hear it enough!)
(v. 8)
• Devotion to the study of God’s Word, personally and publicly (e.g., quiet time; Bible study or small group), and further, to the right kind of doctrine, or teaching (v. 15-16)

God in Clothing

As we pursue godliness, we also learn to discern what it means for our dress. This certainly is an area where Christians often disagree. On one end of the spectrum are those who advocate covering self from head to toe in loose clothing. On the other end are ones who, like me before, never really thought much about the impact of clothing and wear anything they feel is fine, drawing whatever boundary based on their sense of what works.

I think I fall somewhere in the middle now. Since the “honking” incident I have learned the value of setting clearer boundaries in my dress and really consider the Spirit’s leading in my clothing choices. But I also have not been convicted that I cannot wear any clothing that shows shape (e.g., baby tees or leggings) or some body parts such as the lower leg, shoulders and arms. However, I am careful about not wearing anything too tight and keeping areas such as my stomach and chest covered. I also watch the length of skirts or dresses (the shortest I like to go now with those is just above the knee).

For a time I stopped wearing shorts all together, but my motivation was strictly wanting to avoid another traumatic experience rather than my convictions. Now that I am over it I will wear either capris that fall at or below the knee or shorts that extend several inches down the thigh (i.e., nowhere near “short” or “booty”).

A somewhat “hard” line that I have set is that I do not wear bathing suits without cover ups because I have been convicted that most, one or two piece, show too much skin, be it chest, the full stomach or thighs. Again, I do believe there is some room for difference among Christians – some may disagree with my boundaries – but ultimately our standards should be set in considering all godliness!

It also is very important to me now that my mother okay every single outfit I purchase. I know God has done some work in me over the years, because as a teenager I would have been extremely opposed to that idea – I was too grown for that! However, now I see much more the value of her godly wisdom, especially in this area. She knows we have totally different styles, but is still able to evaluate my clothing with fairness but honesty.

This isn’t to say my mom and I automatically agree on every outfit, but whenever there are points of disagreement, these days minor, I keep the outfit only if I can get her to agree (a big point of contention is her basic belief that any skirt or dress just above the knee could result in someone seeing my underwear if, for whatever reason, I am forced to “bend down.” I politely explain to my mother, however many times necessary, that there are several inches between the bottom of my thigh—whatever the scientific name—and my bottom, so I am easily in the clear on that concern. And just to satisfy her I will lean over in the outfit enough to prove it. Then we’re good).

I sometimes ask my dad’s opinion as well, but, like many fathers, to him almost everything not clear to the ankles is "cutting it close." We have a standing system of "agreeing to disagree” in a few areas, such as leggings (my mom has my back on them long as I am wearing a long top over them and preferably loose, high boots. That’s the best way to wear them anyway, I think!)

I also see the boundaries that we set in clothing as needing to be somewhat fluid – i.e., open to change as necessary to live out godliness in dress based on where we are in life.

One area that I think may call for modifying dress is in exclusive dating relationships. As I always say, when it comes to avoiding sexual sin--the only sin committed "inside" the body—I believe we should be very cautious about taking any liberty. While God does see sin equally and we are to flee it all, the pull—and effect—of sexual sin is far more serious than most. This is not to say that God is not forgiving in all our sin, but we suffer more serious consequences when we cross boundaries in this area. By a couple tightening standards in dress to flee the heightened temptation that can easily come in committed relationships where all elements of attraction are present (i.e., emotional, spiritual, social and physical), they are able to honor God in the highest way. This “tightening” before marriage might be temporary, but I also believe another time that requires at least reevaluating dress standards is marriage, as the union itself is a new role for both parties that carries with it new responsibilities.

Conclusion

Even now I am still learning fresh lessons about the meaning of dressing godly. While I do not think it has to involve turtle necks paired only with long and loose skirts, it does require setting some limits on what body parts we show in dress. Whether we agree or not, our clothing is a statement of what we believe, and it reflects on us. As followers of Jesus, women and men, we are not supposed to derive our confidence from our clothing – or any other aspect of our appearance. Instead, we are to get it from pursuing inner beauty in the form of godliness. With Christ, we have so much more to live for than looking good. Our countenance is to radiate His glory—inside and out.

Following Jesus

Recently I’ve been reflecting on how knowing Jesus is supposed to impact our lives as Christians. There are so many different ideas about how – and to what degree – faith in Christ should affect lifestyle. That question has led me to spend many moments evaluating not just my actions but, more fundamentally, the beliefs I hold that motivate them. The next several entries I’ll look at how I think faith is supposed to affect our approach to everything from church services and Bible study to trends in fashion and music – an unofficial “series,” if you will, although a break from the last couple formal ones I’ve done.

In some ways this next grouping of entries sounds like my blog generally – I’ve routinely hit many of the upcoming sub topics– but this time I want to be much more purposeful in addressing how I see the role of belief in our daily activity.

I know I am no theologian. I have been blessed to have some out-of-the-ordinary biblical training while attending Christian school, but I haven’t been to Bible College or seminary (at least not yet!). But that’s also going to be the point of the discussion – we don’t have to be theologians to devote ourselves to the study of our beliefs; in fact, it is a study that all believers are called to, and it is the very kind that will cause our faith to affect our lives in the most profound ways.

As I’ve been pondering the role of belief in lifestyle I was recently recommended a new book by Joshua Harris (originally of “I Kiss Dating Goodbye” fame in the 1990s Christian youth scene, and beyond) called “Dug Down Deep: Unearthing What I Believe and Why It Matters.” It is about his faith journey. I have not started reading, but he said something on the back cover that I really connected with:

“The irony of my story is that the very things I needed [–] even longed for [—] in my relationship with God were wrapped up in the very things that I was so sure could do me no good. I didn’t understand why the seemingly worn-out words like theology, doctrine and orthodoxy were the pathway to the mysterious, awe-filled experience of truly knowing the living Jesus.”

A great biblical example on following Jesus, literally, are two short verses where Jesus calls two of his disciples, fisherman brothers Andrew and Peter, in Matthew 4:

19 “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” 20 At once they left their nets and followed him.

There was something about that man – and his purpose for their lives – that made them drop everything, on the spot, to go where He led them. Jesus made the same request to others during his ministry who did not make the same choice. But because the disciples said yes, they learned directly from The Master and many were used in the most extraordinary of ways – to spread The Gospel to the nations.

What these upcoming entries will not be is a critique of certain denominations. While I think denomination (or the lack of it, which in a way has become several denominations) can be hard to divorce from belief, I also think a true understanding of God– a kind of “Naked Gospel” if you will (which I am still exploring myself but think relevant in the context)-- is meant to transcend denomination and help all who believe walk in the full abundance Jesus intends.

On to exploring the meaning of life with Him...

Stand for Love

“Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorched.” ~ Song of Songs 8:7

This beautiful verse from The Song sums up perfectly the power of love, as demonstrated in this book that is a recipe for godly romantic love. Chapters seven and eight, the last two, recapture the themes hit in earlier parts such as security; unconditional love, in spite of conflict; friendship in love; romance and godly sex (and also new material— for example, in Chapter 7 Beloved, the woman, initiating sex). I encourage you to explore them. Although I planned to here, I really felt God pulling me to use this last series entry to highlight the need for us to have a “Song of Songs” view of love no matter what our circumstance.

In our world it’s easy to view The Song as an unattainable, fairy tale romance. Although throughout the book conflict, doubt and fear in relationships are addressed (see Chapters 2, 3, 5-6 and 8), at the end of it all love rooted in God, strong and powerful, is The Protagonist that conquerors all (see 8:6, the verse right before the one quoted above –“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame”).

Yet such valiant love seems rare in our context. In our relationships we often see infidelity, abuse and divorce more than unconditional love that blossoms into lifelong marriage, as portrayed in The Song.

There also are those sobering statistics that add to the seeming unlikelihood of love in our age: the growing number of single adults, men and women; particularly professional women – and, more specifically, professional black women.

Or at times we may choose to forgo love God’s way for “practical” reasons: career; age; finances; geography.

Hope as the Mantra

No matter what our situation, if we are followers of Christ we are called to approach even romantic love in today’s world with hope – just as we are all other aspects of our faith. In Romans 5: 1-5 the Apostle Paul describes hope as an end goal of our growth as Christians. Verse 5 says, “And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” The hope we have in Christ is not about our present circumstance, but the confidence that we have to approach any situation in life with expectancy because we have the ultimate security: eternal life with Jesus.

While God calls some of us to a life of singleness for some period – or for life, He also calls many of us to marriage. But God’s way of fulfilling His purpose for each of us will not be accomplished based on where we personally think we should be given our circumstances. In following Him He won’t call us to singlehood simply because we might feel disillusioned about love, or think marriage is impractical for us. He also doesn’t decide marriage for us just because we we’re sick of being "alone," or we think it’s the “right time” for it. In His sovereignty, He has purposes far greater than anything we can see with human specs.

Whether or not God calls us to marriage, His special purpose for it on this earth still begs us to consider it with hope. He uses it in so many ways: to fulfill His promises to the devoted through generations; to raise leaders who are fearless for Him. He employs it to give us a picture of His sacrificial love for us—and to teach us how to adopt it . And it is a means of giving us support and companionship. As we see through Song of Songs, it is meant to be enduring, blissful and breathtaking. No matter how far our society strays from His ideal for it, God needs His people in it His way – for His ultimate glory.

I believe God is always calling us to counter our culture – especially in the area of love: in dating, waiting and marriage. And it starts with infusing hope into our very thinking. We must begin by trusting that if God calls us to marriage, He can work it out regardless of how it seems at present. This faith requires us to divorce ourselves from the dismal reality of love in our world. Hebrews 11: 1 defines faith as “being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

No matter what we may think, God is fully aware of our circumstances: our “biological clocks”; how much time we have on this earth; how many years our parents have to be grandparents; how demanding our occupations or graduate programs are; how much money we have in our bank accounts; the ratio of eligible men to women; how many people around us are in relationships or married. Yet somehow, we use those and other reasons to try to take love out of His hands.

God can do anything despite our unbelief, but the reality is that He not only calls us to belief, but He also rewards us for it. If we do not have faith that He can accomplish marriage, how will we have faith that He can sustain us in marriage, or even be entrusted with it for His glory?

At the same time, hoping in love ultimately is not about getting married – it is about being fully open to God’s purposes in our lives, single or married. Wherever we are at the moment, God has put us there to teach us something. And we are to be confident in that place and pursue the growth that He always calls His people to. I love how the apostle Paul says it in 1 Timothy 6: 6-7 – “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.” As an old poem says, only what is done for Christ, through Christ, will last. That is to be our ultimate pursuit - including in love.

A Process

We don’t get to a place of hope with contentment in the area of love overnight, nor do we stay there without constant effort. And God doesn’t expect us to start, and stay, there from day one. But we must be willing to take that journey. Too many of us are in a place of despondency, disillusionment or indifference to love. Yet Songs of Songs is clear: God delights in giving romantic love; it is a gift lovingly wrapped by Him.

Imagine how adopting a romantic love "revolution", beginning with our thinking-- would change our world –for generations to come! We would move from a love erosion to a reconstruction! It is possible through Christ – but whether it occurs, we are to do our part by pursuing His will and trusting that He will accomplish His purpose in our own lives, and througout the earth. And we must be reminded that as we pursue Him, He gives us the grace, courage and strength to walk in whatever He wills for love in our own lives: singleness, marriage - or some combination.

Epilogue: On The Song

I cherish the story of love that is Song of Songs. Exploring the book personally has added to my understanding of love, and pray that, if you dive into it, it will do the same for you. It has all the elements of a fairy tale romance – yet it’s rooted in reality, too. It is God’s vision for romantic love, imprinted in His Word, that He does accomplish. And the narrative is meant to encourage us. Romans 15:4 sums the hope that His Word is supposed to give us in our love journeys. It is so great I think it requires a look in several versions. Ponder each translation:

4 For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. (NKJV)

4For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. (NIV)

4For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. (NASB)

4 Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. And the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God’s promises to be fulfilled. (NLT)

Let’s champion romantic love God’s way – regardless of our circumstances. We are His ambassadors, in all of life, even love. And in our world He needs us hopeful, so let’s stand that way.

GLORIOUS SUFFERING

Easter’s here again. I’ve been trying to spend the last few days reflecting on what The Cross has meant most to me recently. What kept coming to mind is how God uses suffering to do wonderful, mighty things in the lives of His people as a result of Jesus’ agonizing death.

Suffering is one of those things that Christians tend not to attribute to God. Our response to questions such as “why do bad things happen to ‘good’ people,” or even “why does God allow suffering?” usually includes something about God giving us free will, which results in people—or beings, such as Satan—choosing evil, or that God allows suffering for some great purpose. But often we don’t say that God orchestrates the suffering – that seems contradictory to His nature.

God's Hand in Suffering

I was confronted with the idea of God affecting suffering most recently through small group, where we’re doing a Bible study called “Seeing and Savoring Jesus.” As it sounds, it’s about learning to, and enjoying, walking closely with Jesus, daily. One lesson, “Jesus Christ: Sovereign and Submissive,” discussed God having absolute authority over all things, including the so-called “good” and “bad” (for example, his dominion over “the gift of faith-Philippians 1:29; the persecution of Christians-Hebrews 12: 4-7; the growth of believers-Hebrews 6:3; and the sickness of children—2 Samuel 12:15” p. 81). The question was then posed what “theological problem” is created by the fact that God is in control of all, even suffering. The following was part of the answer, which in particular underscored that God has a hand in suffering, not merely that He allows it:

"How God governs all events in the universe without sinning, and without removing responsibility from man, with compassionate outcomes is mysterious indeed! But that is what the Bible teaches. God ‘works all things after the counsel of his will (Ephesians 1: 11)’…From the smallest things to the greatest thing, good and evil, happy and sad, pagan and Christian, pain and pleasure—God governs them all for his wise and just and good purposes (Isaiah 46:10). Lest we miss the point, the Bible speaks most clearly to this in the most painful situations. Amos [the prophet in the Bible] asks, in time of disaster, ‘If calamity occurs in a city has not the Lord done it? (Amos 3:6).’ After losing all ten of his children in the collapse of his son’s house, Job says, ‘The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21).’ After being covered with boils he says, ‘Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity? (Job 2:10)'" p. 80-81.

His Example

There is no greater exhibit of God orchestrating suffering for His purpose than The Cross. It was purposed suffering that even Jesus himself was conflicted about enduring. When he went to pray in the Garden of Gethsemane shortly before his death, the Bible tells us that Jesus said to his disciples, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me” (Matthew 26: 38). Then, in the following verse, “…he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (v. 39). He prayed similarly in verse 42. By asking that the “cup” be taken from Him, He likely was saying that if God’s plan of salvation could be accomplished without him having to endure death, God should provide that way.

But we know the story did not end with God removing Jesus from the pain of The Cross just because he felt overwhelmed. In the same breath as the plea in Matthew 26:39 for God to intervene, Jesus also asked that the Father’s will be done (v. 39, 42). As Philippians 2: 8 says, Jesus, the Lord of Glory, humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a Cross. He put aside His fears to choose His Father’s will. And because of the pain—the stripes—He suffered, we are healed, saved from the ultimate price of sin if we only believe on His name.

Looking at the death of Jesus should affect the way we view the suffering God purposes in our own lives. We can spend time debating to what degree God “allowed” or “caused” the pain we go through. But the better response is to use it as an opportunity to see God work in our lives and that of others.

God’s Work through Paul

A great example of how we are to respond to suffering as Christians, flowing from The Cross, is the Apostle Paul. As an early missionary bringing the gospel to the ends of the earth, he faced all kinds of persecution for claiming Christ (and presecution of that kind is still faced today!). The Bible also talks about him having some kind of unnamed “thorn in the flesh,” the nature of which scholars debate (some say it was a type of physical ailment, but that discussion is for another time). Whatever it was, Paul specifically says in 2 Corinthians 12: 7 that it was sent to him as a result of his ministry: “To keep me from being conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me.” He knew God had the power to remove the suffering and not only chose not to, but purposed it:

“8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Paul also wrote of God’s design for his suffering in 2 Timothy 2: 8 – 10:

"8Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel, 9for which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal. But God's word is not chained. 10Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory."

The Ultimate Response

Imagine if we approached hardships in life first learning from Jesus’ example: That we pray God’s will, no matter how we are feeling. What if we also learned from Paul who, through Christ, delighted in suffering for the opportunity to be stretched—and strengthened—by The Source. We would see that God’s glory can be revealed in it, just as it can in the “good” times we long for!

The Great High Priest

Knowing the agony that Christ went through before and during his death on The Cross also should give us special comfort that there is no suffering we experience that He cannot relate to, so we should give all hardships to Him, and rely on Him through them. I love the words of encouragement in Hebrews 4: 15-16:

"15 For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (NKJV).

What power – what comfort – we have because of Christ’s death! The most we can give Him in response is our lives—and in all circumstances: sickness and health; wealth and poverty; “good” and “bad.”

This Easter, let’s be reminded that His willingness to endure has given us the grace to embrace all of life’s events, knowing that He has overcome them all and is at work in and through them. That’s how we get the most out of our time on earth that is here today, gone tomorrow, and filled with trouble in between!

There’s a song I love that speaks to the splendor of His suffering, aptly called The Glory. I have no better description for Calvary than glorious!

CELEBRATION OF LOVE

I’ve said in this series that God delights in lovemaking, His way. Chapter Four of Song of Songs is proof. It’s a beautiful model for what a couple’s first experience having sex—or anything like it— should be.

After many mutual investments in the bank of love- meaningful meet ups, resolved conflicts, praises exchanged—acts that strengthened their bond of love --they are ready to cash in on a profitable return.

And reap their dividends they do. As interpreted, Chapter Four is their wedding night, after a ceremony of extravagant, public rejoicing. Thereafter they retreat to their chambers and lie together, for the first time, naked and unashamed.

Chapter Four

This passage epitomizes lovemaking. In fact, it writes the textbook. The Lover doesn’t high five his new wife and say something like, “yes, now we can do the deed!” Instead, he takes his time to unlock yet another layer of love with both gentleness and passion.

The Lover, in this passage far more vocal, sets the mood for their first night together in verses one to fifteen, which take place right before they consummate their marriage. In that span, he takes his time not only getting her ready for the moment, but also uses it as an opportunity to express his deep love and admiration for her. He praises Beloved from head to toe, inside and out. Because so much contextual information was needed to grasp the events that occurred, I will rely heavily on the commentary I have been using to explain it, and reserve most other comments for the conclusion.

Praise for Beloved’s Appearance
Verses 1 - 5

In verse one, the Lover initiates his all-out accolades for Beloved. The flattery begins with an unveiling, literally. At that time, women in that region, the “Near East,” usually wore veils only on their wedding day and removed them once they got to the chambers after it (a tradition we probably borrowed from, although a brief look at the history of veils showed a number of cultures influenced their use in modern day). As Beloved prepares to unveil, the Lover says, “How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves.” The commentary explains, “Doves were know for their tranquility in the ancient world, and since one’s eyes are ‘windows in his soul’ reflecting his character, [he] was praising her calm and innocent character.” Jack S. Deere, Song of Songs, The Bible Knowledge Commentary: Old Testament, pg. 1017 (recognizing that beauty is more than skin deep!)

Then the Lover expresses how much her looks turned him on. He uses agricultural metaphors to describe various parts of her body that are somewhat hard to appreciate as stated. As a result, I’ll translate each description the Lover gives, with help from the commentary:

Verse/Description and Translation

1 “Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Mount Gilead” Translation: Your hair is dark, flowing and rich

2 “Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn…not one of them
is alone.”
Translation: Girl, ya got straight, white teeth!

3 “Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely.”
Translation: The outline of your mouth and the shape of your lips
are perfect.

3 “Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a
pomegranate.”
Translation:Your temple and cheeks are a pretty, sweet reddish color.

4 “Your neck is like the tower of David, built with elegance, on it
hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors.”
Translation:You’re so elegant and classy, like a queen.

5 “Your two breasts are like fawns, like twins of a gazelle that
browse among the lilies.”
Translation: Your breasts are soft and gentle, like your beauty,
and I want to caress them.

(Deere, pg. 1019)

Then, he ends the outward praise by declaring, in verse 5, “All beautiful, you are, my darling! There is no flaw in you!”

Ladies, imagine being the recipient of such intimate, lavish compliments from your lover, especially on the first night you see each other naked! Perhaps it may seem a fairy tale reserved only for a woman with a perfect, swimsuit model body, but remember that the Beloved herself expressed insecurities about her own appearance—for example, that she had been sunburned. However, the Lover does not focus on any of her objective flaws—he shares how she looks in his eyes—the only eyes that matter (Deere, pg. 1020)!

Guys, imagine how beautiful you would make your bride feel by giving her such unbridled praise for her looks in a world where her figure may not be considered “good” enough! You’d be letting her know that she is all you want—which means everything!

The Lover’s Request
Verse 8

Further basking in the joy of the night, the Lover asks Beloved to release any apprehension she has about their first sexual experience. At the end of verse eight he says, “Descend…from the lions’ den and the mountain haunts of the leopard.” The commentary explains: “The lions’ den may represent fearful places or circumstances…[the Lover] was asking his bride to leave her thoughts of home and put her fears behind her in order to concentrate completely on him, as he had done for her.” Deere, pg. 1019.

The Lover’s Depiction of Beloved’s Response

Verses 9 – 11

Apparently, the Lover’s words were just what Beloved needed to feel free. She takes her turn at displaying her uninhibited passion for her man with her actions, not words. The commentary does a great job of capturing it. Below is each relevant verse, then an excerpt from the commentary’s analysis. Note that as translated “sister” was a term for lover (i.e., the Lover didn’t marry his sister, lol):

Verse 9: “You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.”

Explanation: “The words ‘stolen my heart’ mean to be robbed of either one’s willpower or the ability to think clearly. The effect of his bride’s [physical expression of] love was so powerful that even a glance from her beautiful eyes or even seeing an article of jewelry or clothing associated with her was enchanting to [him]."

Verse 10: “How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice!”

Explanation: “The word [in verse 10 for] love was used for physical expressions of romantic love. The verse might be more accurately translated, ‘How delightful are your kisses. How much more pleasing are your caresses than wine.’ Her physical expressions of love had a more refreshing and intoxicating effect on him than wine, just as his expression had earlier affected her. Even her perfume added to the excitement of their love. The senses of sight, touch, smell, and sound were involved in their lovemaking.”

Me: All right!

Verse 11: “Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride; milk and honey are under your tongue. The fragrance of your garments is like that of Lebanon.”

Explanation: “The [B]eloved gave herself freely with joy. She was not at all passive in their lovemaking. Her kisses were ‘as desirable as milk as sweet as honey.’ Milk and honey are combined here probably to allude to the fact that Canaan [the land promised to the Israelites when they left Egypt] was a land of milk and honey. Just as the land, rich in agricultural prosperity, was a source of blessing and joy to the people, so her kisses were a source of joy to him.”
(Deere, pg. 1019-1020)

Esteem for Beloved’s Purity
Verses 12-15

I love this part. Up to this point, they have been lovingly exploring each other’s bodies, but they have not yet consummated the marriage. Before they do, the Lover is sure to praise his bride’s purity. He compares her virginity to “a garden locked up…a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.” He is expressing that she has reserved herself completely for him, and for that he is thankful, and esteems her (v. 12). He extends the “locked up garden” metaphor in verses 13 -14, picking pleasing, well-known fruits and spices to describe the value of her purity:

“13)Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates with choice fruits, with henna and nard, 14) nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, with every kind of incense tree, with myrrh and aloes and all the fine spices.”

But he does not dwell on the delight of her “sealed” garden forever. In preparation for the act of love that is about to take place, he puts her purity in the marriage context, declaring that it will continue even after they consummate:

15)"You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon."

The commentary explains: “…The water is pure and wholesome, like flowing water streaming down from Lebanon, and is now accessible to the [Lover]. When the bride surrendered her virginity to her husband, she was no less pure for doing so. The progression from a garden foundation to a ‘water streaming down’ indicates that his beloved more than quenched [the Lover’s] desire for her and fully satisfied him. As mountain streams are refreshing so she refreshed him” (pg. 1020).

Both the passage and explanation highlight that purity is not just a thing you are—but also a thing you do, a lifestyle that is determined by daily seeking God in thought and deed. Beloved remained pure in marriage because having sex did not change her character. Also, the verse contrasts the idea of sex as “dirty”—a distortion that is often repeated in religious circles. However, God has never denigrated the act itself—only having it outside of his boundaries, marriage. But here, sex His way is clearly celebrated. And in that context we can appreciate it freely, with no guilt or shame.

The Moment
Verses 4: 16 – 5:1

Before they have sex, Beloved, usually much more vocal in the Book, speaks her first words of the chapter in verse 16: they are an invitation for her Lover to “fully possess her (i.e., come into her)” (Deere, pg. 1020). Playing on the Lover’s “garden” metaphor, she declares, “Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread abroad. Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruit” (v. 16).

In response, the Lover tastes, and is fully satisfied. He contentedly declares (still analogizing to a garden), “I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my spice. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey. I have drunk my wine and my milk” (5:1).

The Lover saying “my garden,” showing possession of his wife’s body, is a reminder that, as often said, sex causes two people to become “one flesh.” In biblical context, the joining is discussed in light of marriage. When sex occurs outside marriage, it creates a “joining” without the commitment that God intended. The verse is a reminder that, when they joined in marriage, her body—including her “garden”—now belonged to him; his, to her.

Thoughts from a “Friend”
Song of Songs 5: 1

The following portion of verse one of Chapter Five has resulted in fascinating conjecture. In it someone says to the Lover and Beloved, “Eat, O friends, and drink; drink your fill, O lovers.” In the NIV, the statement is attributed to “Friends,” who would have been the daughters of Jerusalem (as discussed, young women citizens of the city). However, other translations such as the NASB (New American Standard Bible) and the King James do not specifically attribute the statement to anyone. The commentary asserts:

“It is unlikely that [as in the NIV that] friends, wedding guests, or any other persons would have been present in the bedroom at the consummation of the couple’s marriage. A more plausible suggestion is that the speaker was God Himself. Only their Creator would have been a ‘guest’ on that occasion. Since their love was from Him it was fitting that He approve it. He invited them to enjoy sexual love in marriage as if it were a banquet (“eat…and drink”). This clearly indicates God’s approval of marriage, which He designed in the Garden of Eden” (pg. 1019 - 1020).

In this light, imagine having sex, and the God of the Universe is cheering you on! Even if this interpretation is not correct, it still squares with God’s character—He delights in blessing His children with good things, including romantic love, and He celebrates when they do it His way!

Thoughts on the Passage

I have to say that I really had to meditate—and pray—about this passage. There’s so much in this most beautiful picture of lovemaking to apply to our own lives, single or married. And the issue of sexual purity, so dear to my heart, really squares with this section of The Song. I’ll share several observations:

1. Touch in Dating

First, considering God’s plan for sex in marriage should profoundly affect the way we view physical touch outside of marriage. The lovers’ encounter in Song of Songs Chapter Four is special not just because they have sex for the first time, but also because it is the first time they really explore each other’s bodies at all. Their lovemaking before consummation that night was far more intimate than anything they had experienced while dating or courting. Prior to that their relationship was about developing their friendship, deepening their devotion to each other—and “not awakening love until it so desired.” And when it did “desire,” in this passage, it was on—in full force! But it was all at the time God ordained!

I believe that, based on a biblical model, our physical desires are not meant to be met in a dating—or even a courting—relationship. Instead, as Christians our physical interaction in these contexts has to be motivated by a desire to pursue holiness—not to see how close we can go without “going over” by having sex. And, further, honoring God in the highest way requires we think twice—even three times—about even the seemingly mundane physical acts that we assume are perfectly fine. Our goal should be how much can we save for marriage—not how much we can risk.

From this perspective, the idea of not kissing before marriage should be easier to grasp. I could do a whole other entry on that topic (and probably will at some point), but for now, I’ll refer to a message that breaks down why kissing, while not necessarily an issue of “right” and “wrong,” should be saved for marriage. I’ve linked to it before, but I will here again. I’ll also provide a short quote from it:

“I don’t think you can make the case that kissing is sex. But it is romantic and intimate, [and as such, should be reserved for marriage]...the theology [of sex in the Bible] screams, 'keep your hands and lips to yourself while dating!'” (Also see a similar message from my pastor that does not address kissing but, like the other one, addresses the issue of our bodies belonging to God as singles, not ourselves, and we should honor him with them as a result)

In dating relationships we often use kissing, rubbing, cuddling, etc., as substitutes to “hold us over” until we get to have the real deal. And, most often, attempts to hold off on sex while doing all the other things lead to one thing: sex with regrets. Our evaluation of what’s okay to do in a dating relationship should not be based on what the world thinks—e.g., that kissing is “no big deal,” but on what would please God. Not kissing—and setting other serious limits on physical touch in order to flee temptation and develop a relationship in His time—would hardly be “stupid” to God—the only Audience who should matter. In fact, He would honor the decision!

2. Transforming Our Views on Sex

Sex as Clean

On the other hand, I also think this passage is a reminder that Christians need to learn how to develop a healthy view of sex before they are married. The church has borrowed from the world’s distortions about sex. Because we see negative images of sex prominently displayed, and as a result of guilt and shame over our own decisions, we brand sex as “dirty” and something not to talk about, lest we be tarnished. And we as Christians often bring this baggage into our marriages, making it difficult to have the same kind of free, uninhibited sex that the Lover and Beloved had. But, as Song of Songs highlights, God’s plan for sex, when done in context, is meant to be enjoyable, unfettered and mind blowing! And there’s not a thing “naughty” about that!

Grasping God’s Tapestry for Sex

So how do single people living sexually pure learn to appreciate sex God’s way outside of marriage—and prepare for it in marriage—especially if they are not even kissing? I believe the answer is to embrace The Design, the but not the activity. Embracing the activity is meditating on the act of sex itself, by, for example, watching graphic sex scenes in movies or listening to sex-driven music; hanging out with people talking about their sexual experiences that do not honor God; engaging in physical relationships outside marriage that heighten thoughts about sex. By contrast, Embracing The Design is about learning to grasp God’s plan for sex in marriage through a variety of contained avenues He has given us, first of all His Word (e.g., Song of Songs!); discussions about it in a Christ-focused setting, such as a small group; reading Christian books about the topic; surrounding ourselves with people who can encourage us in purity. Unfortunately, the church has failed to address this issue as it should (conversations pretty much stop at “Don’t have Sex”), but there are more opportunities to understand it than we think! And even if we think there are none around us, He’ll bring them to us if we so desire!

I praise God that He has really been revealing Himself to me in this area. I’ve shared my journey in purity before, so I won’t rehash. But I will say that I’ve prayed earnestly for God to continuously grow my understanding of true purity while teaching me to appreciate the wonderful gift of sex that He has given. He has brought, among other things, the organization I often refer to: Worth the Wait Revolution, which is dedicated exclusively to promoting sexual purity (with contemporary style and urban class, I might add:)). We wrestle with all the issues single people face regarding sex through panels, fashion shows and group fellowship, and nothing we discuss ever gets old. It is not “just an organization for virgins”—nor does it assume that everyone who is a virgin is living pure (which is not the case)—it is about anyone desiring to understand what it means to have sex God’s way as singles, and how to prepare for it! I have seen God use it to transform people’s lives with a variety of pasts. That’s the beauty of the message of Embracing The Design-God’s Design— for sex—it has no prerequisites because, like anything in our faith, God takes care of the transformation—not us!

Reading List

Elaborating on one of the practical ways to Embrace The Design on your own, I highly recommend exploring Christian literature for singles on sex if you have not already. I think the number of good titles on dating, courting and single living generally have stepped up—and, in this context, sex specifically. There’s a couple, one I am still working on completing, that I’ll recommend:

-"The Best Sex of My Life: A Guide to Purity" (click title to see book)(self-published and written by the founder of Worth the Wait Revolution, Dr. Lindsay Marsh—33 years old and newly engaged! I have some slight issues with the book, but fantastic overall—on point for practical tips on Embracing The Design. See chapter 4 especially: Ten Choices to Keep You out of Trouble!)

-“No Sex in The City: One Virgin’s Confession on Love, Lust, Dating and Waiting,” by Lindsey N. Isham (also click title for book) There is also a four-minute clip of an interview with her that I think gives a good overview of the book: (The cover borrows the pink, city-themed signature of “Sex in the City.” It is written for ladies, but I think guys can benefit from hearing a single woman’s perspective on sex, too. I have some more significant differences with this book—including a few cultural gripes that make a chapter or two hard to relate to—or cause some disagreement—but, overall, most chapters really wrestle with guarding your mind, but also appreciating—and embracing—sex God’s way! She actually hits Song of Songs Chapter 4 in pretty good detail, too!)

Neither of these books, nor anything on true purity, requires that you be a virgin to appreciate it—they provide practical tips for all! Further, I think we need to get out of the habit of boiling every discussion about purity to whether you’ve had sex or not—but the fact is that is often the only way to get people comfortable about discussing purity. But purity is actually a condition of the heart, not a function of what you have—or haven’t done: God forgives, renews and restores in the area of sex—just like He does anything else, and we are all in need of it, whether we’ve had sex or not! But again, that’s for another super-long entry. In short, let’s embrace God’s blueprint for sex so we can overcome our hang ups about sex now, and have more to give our lovers in marriage later!

Sex as Selfless

Additionally, this passage highlights that, under a biblical model, sex is not for our own personal satisfaction, but to benefit our lover in marriage—and The Union itself. In turn, God is glorified. It is sacrificial, just like love outside of the bedroom should be (see I Corinthians 13, as addressed in the last entry). That night the Lover was first off all concerned with making Beloved feel secure, desired and pleasured. Only after he had given himself to her, for her, did he request that she give back to him (quoting verse eight: “Descend…from the lions’ den and the mountain haunts of the leopard.”) And she responded with the same selfless passion (going back to the question of how a single person not having sex can learn how to approach sex in marriage at the time God ordains: this passage gives advice, for free at that!). Because they both approached sex God’s way, both of their God-given desires were met—and, on top of that, they were blown away! That is also the beauty—and the open secret—of following Jesus: we sacrifice our worldly desires to gain greater, heavenly ones in return—that we receive pressed down, shaken together, and running over! I love my Jesus!

3. The Lover’s Security

Finally, as much as I have been discussing Beloved’s need for security from her lover (and rightfully so), I think in this passage the Lover’s need for security takes center stage. His need was not in being made to feel beautiful, being led or feeling physical assurance. But he did need to know that his woman loved him deeply and was committed to him, and him only. As he complemented her in verses one to fifteen, evidence of that confidence—that security—is clear. And this security even propelled him to stand in the leadership role that God had given him even that night in the bedroom—and in the relationship. Love God’s way is so powerful!

CONCLUSION

At the end of it all, from a biblical model the first night of a marriage is meant to be the start of a couple’s physical relationship. God delights in sex in this context; in fact, He cheers it on! To understand, appreciate and prepare ourselves for sex in marriage before marriage, we must throw aside the world’s warped views of the act and embrace God’s amazing plan for it. To get to that point—outside of marriage, or to restore it in marriage—we have to actively pursue an understanding of it—just like we have to for growth in any area of our faith. And as we take the steps to get it, He will guide us into understanding! And once we do grasp it, there is nothing “closet freakish” (under God’s model of sex, that concept doesn’t even exist!) or wrong, about appreciating sex God’s way as a single person—as long as we do so by embracing The Design, rather than the activity (yes, that phrase is my new slogan)!

As we will see in the final two chapters of Song of Songs, with God as the conductor, a married couple only increases their sexual “tune” and harmony with time—time together, and time with Him. But, for this entry, let’s really consider the contours of sex as God intended—fun, fascinating and free! This one will hit the top of the “corny” meter, and ruin any flow I had going, but who cares: Wherever you are, stop and “cheer” for Love His way!