YES or NO (Words, Part 2)

Second grade, second grade. That’s a year of my life I remember in spankings. When I got in trouble growing up it was generally for what I said—usually trying to explain myself when my parents thought I should have just been quiet.

That year I got really into the so-called “sassy” sayings of the early 90s. My favorite, which may ring a bell, was “well excuse me”— only it was said while twisting the neck, snapping the fingers and stretching out the “u” in “excuse”—i.e., “well excuuuuuuuuuse me!”

At the time it didn’t register the saying was meant to be rude. I just had a whole lot of fun contorting my neck, popping my fingers and uttering it. And I was really good at it. On the playground I would win contests for the longest “neck bend, snap and excuse” sequence. Thinking my “gift” some sort of badge, for a couple weeks I would say it after any and every thing; mundane comments such as “I’m going outside,” “It’s cold today” or “Nice shirt” were all cause for a rendition of “well excuuuuusse me.”

It wasn’t until I made a few of the other girls cry—and after I got slapped in the face for saying it to my mom at an inopportune time—that I finally realized the “gusto” with which I proclaimed those words was actually deemed rude and hurtful.

There’s only one other incident I got in trouble for that year that I remember more: the time I paid for saying some variation of “I swear.”

My mother really didn’t really like those words. She would always mention how the Bible said we shouldn’t say them and instead should “let our ‘yes be yes’ and our ‘no be no.’”

Although her words stuck with me it would be years before I actually remember reading the verses she was referring to. They are a reminder of how seriously we are called to take our word—what we promise to others.

"OATHS" IN THE BIBLE

The passage, Matthew 5:33-37, reads:

33 Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.' 34But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; 35or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37 Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

The same warning is repeated in James 5:12-

12Above all, my brothers, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No," no, or you will be condemned.

There’s a history of the significance of “oaths” in Bible times that I don’t know much about, but I have read some interesting tidbits on it. Generally, an oath was a kind of verbal “contract” binding people to their words—with serious consequences for breaking it. Oaths in Old Testament books such as Leviticus and Numbers were generally made to God along with offerings or sacrifices. Biblical references denouncing the practice, such as in Matthew and James, warn us about avoiding them in our everyday language.

"OATHS" TODAY

Saying “I swear to” whatever is something we hear a lot today. We say it to let someone else know we’re really serious about something, e.g., “I swear [to you] I’m not lying,” “I swear on my mother’s grave,” I swear to…other things. Not only does the Bible say we shouldn’t go there because we don’t have the power to ensure that our word is absolutely true (Matthew 5: 36), but also that our word of “yes” or “no” should be a good enough assurance that—as far as we can control, what we say is a reflection of what we’ll do.

I think we live in a world where word generally doesn’t matter much. We all do it at least sometimes: make commitments but excuse fulfilling them with an “I forgot about doing that,” “I just got busy,” or “I don’t remember saying that.” But if we really take our word as seriously as we’re called to as Christians, we would be a lot more sensitive to making promises—and keeping them.

Accomplishing Our Word

Psalm 15

This passage explains how what we say is an integral part of our character as Christians:

1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?
2 He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart
3 and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,
4 who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,
5 who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things
will never be shaken.

Righteous acts are of course an important part of character, but notice how words are intertwined with actions as a sign of holy living—it includes speaking the truth (v. 2) and avoiding slander or slurs (v.3). Verse four also mentions keeping an oath “even when it hurts.” Again, as verses such as Matthew 5:33-37 and James 5:12 indicate, oaths are not to be made today, but the verse still highlights the value of doing what we say even when it’s uncomfortable or inconvenient. Matthew Henry’s Complete Commentary (an oldie but goodie:)) on verse four does a better job of explaining how “keeping an oath” in this context is a sign of character:

“See how weak-sighted and short-sighted even wise and good men may be; they may swear to their own hurt, which they were not aware of when they took the oath. But see how strong the obligation of an oath is, that a man must rather suffer loss to himself and his family than wrong his neighbour by breaking his oath. An oath is a sacred thing, which we must not think to play fast and loose with.” (Commentary on Psalm 15: 4).

God's "Word"

Another reason keeping our word is supposed to be part of our character is that it is part of God’s. We can trust Him because He does exactly what He says. His word is always as good as done, and it’s the foundation of our faith.In fact, we can stand on the words—promises—of God before the actions accompanying them are accomplished. That’s another reason doing what we say is so important!

Word as Bond

I think our world would change if every follower of Christ made every effort to be true to their word—letting our “yes” mean “yes” and our “no” mean “no”. We would have good, trustworthy reputations that, in turn, honor God. But for that to happen, we have to be very conscious—and intentional—about doing what we say.

One way that we can live out our calling in words is to treat what we say like currency. I like the quote “word is bond.” A relevant definition of bond is “something that binds a person or persons to a certain circumstance or line of behavior.” If we consider that we’re “bound” by our words, we know that we forfeit them if we don’t deliver—in this context, we “default” in reputation and trustworthiness. If we really consider this cost, we should not say we’ll do something without really thinking about how we’re going to accomplish it. Often we break our promises not because we mean not to do something, but because we don’t mean to do something. Before we make a promise, no matter how small, we should ask: “how am I actually going to keep it?”—and have an answer to that question as we make that promise.

I also think seeing word as currency is important because it’s a way for us to take responsibility for our actions. While on the one hand we can make promises and not keep them, on the other we can be tempted to, in an effort not to break our word, make no promises at all—saying “maybe” to everything. There’s certainly a place not to be sure of something—but a maybe should become a “yes” or a ‘no” (notice the absence of “maybe” in Matthew 5: 37 and James 5:12).

If we can never promise anything, it can also make us to be untrustworthy because we’re not bound by anything—to ourselves or others. And if we’re not bound, we never have to take ownership for our actions. But if we allow our word to bind us, then we force ourselves to make a “yes” or “no” decision with real consequences—and act accordingly. We especially may be afraid to say “no” to something at the risk of offending others, but the truth is the greater harm to our testimony is saying neither. Living like word is currency forces us to make our words align with our actions.

Ultimately, if we’re really following what God’s word says about our word, it should hurt us not to keep it--no matter how small the "default." And we’ll keep it, even when it’s uncomfortable.

We don’t need to—and shouldn’t— swear we’ll do something, but we must do what we say. So let’s avoid maybes where we can, and let our yes’ be yes, and our “nos” be no.