STOP AND LISTEN (Words, Part 3)

"19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." ~James 1: 19-20

I don’t usually start with a verse, but these sum up so well this entry on words—highlighting the need for us to measure our words—even when we get heated.

This passage is a challenge for me. Naturally, I ain’t slow to do hardly anything. Most things I want done now, a few things needed to be done yesterday. I’m also terrible at hiding my responses to things I dislike (and when I try to, I’m usually unsuccessful). Finally, I tend to be a stickler for accuracy. I can’t stand when people get the facts wrong or mischaracterize situations or intentions. I place a premium not so much on being right, but on being understood and treated fairly. When I perceive things are being handled wrong, I get on defense.

In the context of this passage, my “speedy” traits make me quick to speak (i.e., explain or clarify the situation) and quick to get heated (‘cause I can’t believe someone would say “x” cra-zy thing). I liken my anger “style” to a balloon—when it pops, it’s like, really sudden and loud, but if you blink—you might miss it. In other words, I’m a softie, but in the first couple minutes after you say something to make me mad—or right after I start talking about an incident that prompted anger— watch out.

Dealing with Anger

When I got in trouble for my anger growing up, often my dad would repeat some portion of James 1: 19-20 to me—and slowly. It went a little something like this:

“My girl, be sloooowwww to spea-k. Sloooowww to become an-gry.”

I used to get mad just off how slowly he said those words!

James 1: 19-20

But really pay attention to the passage—in fact, “take note” (v. 19). We are to be:

1. Quick to listen...(v.19)

The only time “hurriedness” is urged in the text is in being quiet—listening. A denotation of listen is “to give attention with the ear; attend closely for the purpose of hearing; give ear.” In other words, when we’re “listening” to someone, we have to become occupied with their words. That means we have to put aside other distractions—including our anger. And we are to do so speedily. Further, when we do listen to others’ perspectives we often find where our thoughts went wrong—and our wrong assumptions give way to right understanding. And even when we’re "right," the time taken to pause often makes us realize that the situation isn’t nearly as serious as we thought it in our anger!

2. Slow to speak and slow to become angry…(v.19)

While in order to listen we have to “dial in,” in our speech and anger we have to “tone down.” Again, turning to some definitions of slow:

moving or proceeding with little or less than usual speed or velocity

taking or requiring a comparatively long time for completion

requiring or taking a long time for growing, changing, or occurring; gradual

When we “take time” before speaking or becoming angry, we’re choosing to be deliberately more cautious—much less cautious than we should be in deciding to listen—and we’re giving ourselves “a long time” to gradually respond. The result should be that what we don’t end up saying that angry comment we may have wanted to initially, and that we have room to change our mind about being angry—or that we don’t get angry at all. That sounds like a good plan to me!

3. for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (v.20)

I think the rationale in verse 20 for being “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” is the best part of the passage. To live out the righteous life we’re called to, we have to be free from our brand of anger—which contradicts with God’s desire for us to live righteously. And what does this “righteousness” God wants look like? There are so many rich passages that detail it. Some of them:

That our attitudes be like His—selfless

That we love one another

That we walk in His light and have fellowship with each other

That we walk humbly, and closely, with Him

That we live holy, through Him

That our lives bring Him glory

Yes, the righteousness that He desires for us is so deep! And when we get angry, it causes us to miss the picture that is to be our singular, life goal as Christians. We can’t let anger fog up our vision!

Today

The last few years I’ve been learning to respond to situations that I perceive "unfair" a lot better. If I do get angry, those deep breaths are certainly helpful (two of them usually do the trick:)). But more importantly, the more I walk with God, the less I find myself responding that way (but of course it’s a process—ask me about my mixed response to a bizarre incident last Sunday). I think a way to measure our spiritual growth is not by how often we do the “good” things that are "naturally"-or have become-part of our character, but how much progress we make in exhibiting the "fruits” that are not.

Let’s not allow anger—or anything else—to keep us from the righteousness that God envisions for us—and that we should strive for as well. When we’re tempted to jump the gun on our speech in anger, instead we should be quick to stop...and listen.

The Case For Christian Music (Of All Kinds)

I’ve always been a pop and love-song fanatic. In junior high and high school I mostly just listened to the radio—the “Top 40” stations (back then Z-104 and 102.7—I know my D.C.–area natives know:)). I also loved the still-existent Soft Rock-97.1/WASH FM. Freshman and sophomore year of high school I’d have sleepovers where friends and I would call in to the now-defunct “After Hours with Glenn Hollis,” a 7pm-to-midnight showcase of “love songs and dedications.” We knew that to have our requests aired, they usually had to be somewhat elaborate. I’d choose tributes to my “new fiancée,” who had always recently proposed in a park, and I was always “still crying over how beautiful it was.” Something about the fake dedications made with my high pitched, tween-age voice resonated with Glenn; I had the record among friends for most calls played on air, along with the most poems read to me. I usually requested ballads by Mariah, Celine, or Whitney, which we’d dubbed the “True Love-Song Trio.” Despite the fact that I still treasure these songs, since college I have listened mostly to Christian music. And the change has had an incredible impact on my relationship with God.

Like many, I used to think that “Christian” Music only encompassed a few types: in my case, the only I’d heard— gospel, rock worship songs and selections from the Hymnal. Although I now actually listen to all these genres, growing up they didn’t really gel with this pop princess. I needed something that sounded like Christina, Mya, the BackStreet Boys or Lauren Hill. Enter Out of Eden, the first Christian group I fell in love with.

I first heard this eclectic trio of sisters (who have been compared to TLC and SWV, among others) as a high-school freshman at D.C. ’97, a conference for teens held every three years in both D.C. and Los Angles. It was the first of four summers I spent on missions trips where only Christian music was allowed (a rule I broke often). I liked the group because their souly pop sounds were unlike the so-called “head banger” Christian music my teammates chose to listen to on our ten-hour plus drives in 15-passenger Ford vans. I guess I did come to like other Christian artists during high school, but none I actually purchased.

But then when I started college, as I’ve shared before, I went through a period where my relationship with God, which I’d technically had since late pre-school/early kindergarten, had hit a wall. It’s the quintessential end-of-the -coming-of-age story, when you finally reach adulthood and have to choose whether you’re still going to live the way you’ve grown up despite the fact that parents aren’t in sight (at least they weren’t during the day; I was a commuter:)). I’m happy to say I chose God’s way.

But breaking the ceiling on my relationship with God required some habit changes. I remember rummaging through my glove compartment one day freshman year in search of what little Christian music I owned. I pulled out a couple Out of Eden tapes given to me by my youth pastor, who got all the Christian music he wanted for free because of his title. I started listening to them on my way to class each morning. I also threw in another tape he’d given me, an album by the four-female group Point of Grace, whose harmonious sounds could probably be compared to Wilson Phillips sometimes and the Dixie Chicks at other (or perhaps not—I can’t really box them in…). Anyway, once I started listening, I saw a profound change in my focus. Although these artists were still playing the same genres of music I always loved, their words had so much more…"Kingdom" value. Out of Eden had a way of incorporating their love for Hip Hop with words that honored God. One song from their second album, “More Than You Know,” called “Giving My All,” became my theme song. I loved how they added a pop twinge with the synthesizer as they expressed their desire to “give God ‘soul’ control.” As I went through my day, both the great beats—and the great words—filled my mind. Before long, I had purchased all of Out of Eden’s CDs recorded at the time.

I didn’t stop with Out of Eden. In search of a Christian Christina Aguilera, I was referred to Rachel Lampa, an artist I’d heard over the years but hadn’t paid much attention to. I’ve since bought all her CDs to date. Her beautiful ballad expressing her love for God, “No Other One,” from her CD titled “Rachel Lampa,” would become my cell phone ring tone (although sadly I no longer hear the moving words each time my phone rings, since my fairly new Blackberry is always on vibrate :(). By that point, my style had moved beyond just pop and r&b. I needed more types of music—gospel artists such as Smokie Norful, who sing melodies steeped in scripture; and even groups like Mercy Me, an alternative/rock band with some of the most spiritually moving lyrics I’ve ever heard. And I still like artists such as Surel, who’d attract Erykah Badu fans after just a few notes.

Why go on about my journey to Christian-music enthusiast? In a verse: Colossians 3:2-“Set your mind on things that are above, not on earthly things.” Whether we like to admit it, music is a form of meditation. Even if we “just like the beat” and “not the words,” whenever we listen to music, we take in the words, too- be it consciously, subconsciously or unconsciously. With Christian music now spanning every genre imaginable—from mellow jazz to thumping reggae—there’s plenty to choose from. Why not listen to music that not only has beats we like, but also words that get us meditating on scripture—with a value not just for this life, but the one to come (1 Timothy 4:8)?

This is not to say that all “secular” (aka non-Christian) music is evil. I personally still listen to music that isn’t Christian, I just don’t do so for extended periods of time because it doesn’t have the same life-changing value that Christian music has in getting me to focus on God more. I also know Christians’ views on Christian music run the gamut—with some saying the contemporary Christian music I can’t live without is “irreverent” and “pandering to a materialistic society trying to secularize God and dilute scripture,” and, on the other end of the spectrum, those who say that the hymns put together over centuries are “no longer relevant to our society.” I personally fall somewhere in the middle. Sometimes I do listen to “It Is Well With My Soul” and the like because the words are, as I’ve said, so rich and taken almost verbatim from scripture, but sometimes I want to get my praise on with spirit-filled songs that also have loud, infectious beats. The thinking that it’s “hymns only” or “contemporary Christian music only” ignores the fact that we’re just not always in the mood to hear the same type of music all the time—and that we all just have different tastes. If we have to pick one or the other, we probably wouldn’t make meditating on God’s Word through song a part of our routines; it would instead be relegated to moments when we were “in the mood” for a particular type of music. In my opinion, we’d miss out on great, biblically based messages heard through all kinds of song.

Another related criticism I hear a lot is that not all Christian music is particularly “spiritual,” and not all “secular” songs are particularly un-spiritual; hence, there’s no real need to listen to mostly Christian music when there are “just as spiritual songs” in secular music. Although artists on both sides do have works that cross over to the other, most Christian songs do in fact have a biblical message, because they’re based on God’s Word. By contrast, most secular songs, even if they have a “good” message, will most likely not have a biblical message because the artists are not claiming to make Christian songs. I like to use the “dollar store” analogy: you may go into the dollar store and find that there are some items that are, gasp, more than one dollar. And there may even be a few of them. However, this doesn’t mean it’s not a dollar store, just that owners sometimes reach beyond their “dollar” label to market other products. Likewise, Christian or secular artists making a few songs that differ from their norm does not change their labels. As a result, if you’re looking for “Christian” music, you’re mostly likely to find it from artists who call themselves Christian-music artists.

A final relevant issue is that people are not always trained to understand that Christian music takes so many forms. If the only Christian songs you’ve heard sound like the “Doxology” you sing every week in church, you too may be thrown off guard by something like Christian rock. As a result, you won’t even try to understand the words—they may sound too “secularized” to be any different from the pop stations. But the truth is that many contemporary songs are inspired by God’s Word but brought to life by everyday experiences—aka “testimonies”—kind of like the ones people share in church about how they came to know Christ or got through a difficult life situation, though they’re set to music, and put in lay person’s terms (ironically, so were at least some popular centuries-old hymns, at the time they were written). And these real-life experiences found in contemporary Christian music can actually be just as—and sometimes more—uplifting than traditional worship songs. And if you open up a Contemporary Christian music CD case, you’ll often find artists include the Bible verses that inspire each song. When you read the verses and then listen to the song, the scriptural message becomes even clearer (Great example: the recently released “True Beauty” by Mandisa from American idol—as I keep saying; it’s a great CD!).

My point? If we claim to know Christ—have asked him to forgive us from our sins and are now trying to live for Him—be his “disciples,” we have to do whatever we can to put away our old natures—the ones we had before we decided to follow God—and walk as He did (I John 2: 5-6). What we think about—mediate on—is a big part of that. And if I can pump a tune AND praise Him—I’m more likely think about Him any time.

What I’m playing now? Group 1 Crew, a Christian Hip-Hop group. Their hit “Forgive Me” was clearly inspired by Psalm 23. Also, here’s a chart including Christian music alternatives to secular music: http://www.extreme-youth.com/Christian_music_comparison.html And share your favorites; I’m always looking for new Kingdom artists—of all kinds…

THE MUSIC

I haven’t blogged in a little while, but not because I haven’t had a few entries in my head, that I’ve yet to write. I’m going to start with the one requiring the least amount of additional resources (This was initially out of laziness, but by the time I finished this entry, it was no longer a lazy one, lol!). Anyway, it highlights a topic close to my heart: Christian music. I’m writing both to share my testimony and some tunes that God’s been using for my spiritual growth.

If you know me well enough (or have read my blog long enough), you’re aware that I’m a huge supporter of Christian music, especially Contemporary Christian music. The short of my testimony is that I started listening to it almost exclusively during my freshman year of college. Almost immediately, I noticed the impact it had on helping me set my mind on things above  – heavenly, God-honoring thoughts. Before then, I did not think that listening mostly to secular music was a big deal – especially if the music wasn’t “bad” or raunchy (and even if a song here and there was off color, I reasoned, it had a “good beat” and I did not even focus on the words). I also thought that secular music was just better anyway.

As I got more into Christian music, I also began to hear increasingly more stories about people like me who had made the “big switch” primarily to Christian music and had seen the big-yet-unexpected change.

More than 12 years later, I’m still blasting Christian music. And I can say that I believe, categorically, without exception, that all Christians should listen to Christian music – not necessarily exclusively, but as a significant part of meditation through song, which is just what music is. I think it’s also true that you are more likely to listen to Christian music if you play at least some music styles that you actually enjoy, not just ones that you think sound “more holy” than others. God accepts praise that comes from more than just an organ!

When I think back to the greatest influence on my ultimate choice to "go Christian music,” it was my youth  group leaders. During summer missions trips in high school, we spent hours-long car rides listening to Christian music. We also attended youth events where I was exposed to many different Contemporary Christian artists. And when God prompted me to listen to more Christian music during freshman year in college, it was first some of the tapes (remember those?) that I had gotten from my youth pastor.

Now, I’m doing the same thing with teens I lead at my church. I went to a couple great Christian concerts last year, and had the opportunity to take the teen girls in my small group to one. I just generally love anyone under the age of 21 (and pray to be a mommy to lots of kids, but at least one, Amen!). I love that they are generally teachable, impressionable (even the ones who think they aren’t), and curious about life. What perfect ingredients to introduce them to a God who will never fail them throughout their lives?!?!

I’ve led a teen or college girls small groups for several years, but the last couple have been my first working with middle school girls in particular. While I believe middle school is the worst time in a human’s life for reasons I have no need to mention here, it also has been one of my favorite age groups to work with! The tweens, thirteen and fourteen year olds are in such a position to learn about Jesus and making wise choices before they even set foot in a high school or go off to college and, prayerfully, will avoid temptations that can come as they near adulthood. I think encouraging them to listen to Christian music is part of that process.

In December we took the girls to a TobyMac concert featuring various other Christian artists, including Jamie Grace, Mandisa, Britt Nicole, Group 1 Crew, Brandon Heath and Chris August (several who are among my favorites!). The concert was awesome (the girls thought so too!), really reminded me of the journey that led to me love Christian music, and prompted this entry.

At the concert I purchased TobyMac’s latest CD, “Eye On It” (which I just learned from the link was only the third Christian album ever to debut at No. 1 on the Billboard 200). I also remembered that I already had the latest Group 1 Crew CD, “Fearless,” but hadn’t listened to it yet. I started playing them both, and have not stopped since! The words and sounds have been so profitable that I want to share a few lines from each capturing them in a nutshell. I highly recommend them!

“EYE ON IT” (TOBYMAC)

“Unstoppable”: (About the Body of Christ): “We make our moves in mysterious ways. We’d rather burn out than stick to the shade. Not of this world so we live on the run. We keep our eyes set [and hearts set] on what is to come. We are unstoppable…That’s who we are” - in Christ!

“Me Without You” (God): “Where would I be without you? I’d be packin’ my bags when I need to stay. I’d be chasin’ every breeze that blows my way. I’d be building my kingdom just to watch it fade away. It’s true – that’s me without You…Don’t know where I’d be without You.”

“Steal My Show”: About asking God to get the glory in his performances, and in your life: “If You [God] want to steal my show sit back and watch You go. If you have something to say go on and take it away. Can’t wait to watch You go…No matter who we are, no matter what we do, every day we can choose to say, ‘If you want to steal my show'…My plans, my heart, my family, my career...take it away…It’s You I want to live for.”

“Eye On It”: When I listened to this song, I immediately thought of it as a rallying cry for Philippians 3: 7-14, which was likely the inspiration: pressing - every day - toward the goal, to win the prize for which God calls us heavenward in Christ Jesus - “Reaching for what lies ahead…I got my eye on it…pressing on with everything I’ve got. I’ve got my eye on it…Let me run in the race…I will not quit.” #eyeonit!

“Speak Life”: “It’s crazy amazing we can turn a heart with the words we say. Mountains crumble, with every syllable, hope can live or die. So Speak life, speak life…look into the eyes of the brokenhearted watch them come alive as you soon as you speak hope, you speak love, you speak life…”

“Lose Myself”: Thought of Matthew 10: 38-39 (a biblical principle TobyMac likes to come back to in his music) – “Take all of the good, and all of the bad, ‘cause all of it’s [so] me. Take all of my ways, the things that I chase, the things that control me. And all that I hide could you bring it to light, could you open my eyes and show me. Take all that was me, and shape it to be reflecting You solely. I want to lose myself...to find You…I don’t care how it sounds, burn it all to the ground; Your Kingdom I desire. I want to lose myself…to find You.”

“Thankful For You”: TobyMac shares his testimony about being in the music industry and his thankfulness to God for directing his life: “Well it started out in a spare bedroom. Two turntables, uh, and a microphone…It’s never been my dream to see my face in magazines. It’s always been about the music hopin’ God would use it; set some people free. But I can say without a doubt, I’ve never had it figured out, Lord you’ve opened every door I’ve stepped through. I’ve tried to keep my head about me so thankful for the friends around me - I’m Thankful for You.”

He adds this about his career: “I’ve been on this road and you [fans] come to my shows. Sometimes just a few of y’all, other times… in droves. But you’ve been right there to rock with us, we come together we lift Him up. Seein' you there inspires me, puts a fire in me."

“Made for Me”: About his wife. The whole song is soooooo cute – it talks about their differences but also their commonality in love: “She was made for me, given to me, said I’d hold loosely but I so wanna squeeze. She’s just right for me…light for me, I can’t believe I get to call her mine…I got white skin, and she got brown skin, but milk and coffee’s always been a beautiful blend.”

"Forgiveness": "'Cause we all make mistakes sometimes, and we all step across that line. But nothin's sweeter than the day we find forgiveness."

GROUP 1 CREW: “FEARLESS”

Most of the songs on this CD have been very beneficial, too. Here are excerpts:

“He Said”: I’ll confess that my initial thought was to pick at the theology in the beginning of the song a little bit – perhaps tweak it, but I like the spirit of the song. The inspiration is likely 1 Corinthians 10: 13 - “I won’t give you more…than you can take. I might let you bend, but I won’t let you break…I’ll never let you go. Don’t you forget what He said.”

“His Kind of Love”: This.Is.My.JAYYYYYM!!! I have only been listening to this CD for about a month, but iTunes tells me this song is currently my most played one of all time (I just keep hitting repeat!). It epitomes  modern worship, now my favorite genre (from pop). Just a little of it (can't do it complete justice here - you'll have to listen!):

“There are no words, no phrase I could create. There is no melody that I could make. How do you sing about a love so deep without feelin’ like you missed something? I can try but I cannot explain. His kind of love… is reckless for us. His kind of love…will never give up ‘til the whole world knows how far He went to show His kind of love. Tell me what kind of God would choose to save the bruised, the broken, the sinners, the runaways? How do you ever try to comprehend this love that knows no limits? I could try but I could not explain…This is our God, He is strong and His mercy is our song. He won’t stop chasin’ us, that’s just His kind of love.”

“Dangerous”: “Lived a life so reckless, I don’t know how I made it through. Always takin' chances, but tryin' everything but you. So why am I playin’ it safe when it comes to givin’ You my life? I can’t let fear hold me back from doing what I know is right... I want to live dangerous, riskin’ all for you Lord. I need you to wake me up from the life I’ve known before. Whatever it takes, I want You to make me more like You. There’s nothing I won’t give up, I wanna live dangerous.”

“Fearless”: “Through the dark You’re my light and Salvation, all that’s in me will trust in You Lord, I’m fearless. If You’re with me who can be against me – I have no reason to fear. If you’re with me who can be against me, I know You’re keeping me near. As I stand in the eye of the storm it’s Your love that’s guiding me home. I’m fearless.” See Romans 8:31.

“Mr. & Mrs. (I Do This For You)”: This is just a great romantic love song: “Just saw a movie and it made me think, 'My life ain’t Hollywood, love don’t come that easily.' And when I try so hard, and just can’t get it right, it still amazes me love [could] be here by my side. 'Cause every day we get down on our knees asking God to help us be who we need to be. We’re far from perfect but I believe…you and me can grow a heart that will truly say, ‘I’ll do this for you, I’ll do this for love, I’ll do this for the life we’ve been dreamin' of. I’ll give you my word, attached with my heart, and nothing in this world can ever tear us apart. I’ll do this for you.'”

“Not the End of Me”: A song about a breakup, which I think is an important topic to address too: “The end of us, is not the end of me… Every second gets easier to breathe. Push the fear away, face another day. Every moment I’m starting to believe: I’m not broken, I’ll keep hopin’ there’s a part of me waiting to love again. The end of us is not the end of me.”

"Steppin": “ I feel called to something more, beyond what I have known…I have more to give, but I have been afraid…I’m steppin’ out to take a chance and if I fly, or if I fall, it’s in Your hands. You’re the Maker of my dreams, and You’ll make a way for me, so I’m steppin’ out…to take a chance…I believe in the grace You’ve shown me, I believe in the words You say. I believe there’s an untold story that You’re tellin’ through me.”

 "Forsaken" (Not): “There were times when my fear controlled me…But my God you have shown Your mercy, through my good and my darkest days, so whom shall I fear if You are for me, Jesus? But here I stand, I’m broken, here with an open heart. And in Your hands I give You all of me, forgive me with a brand new start. Let Your spirit reign over me. I’m down on my knees. I’m giving you everything; I know I’ll never be forsaken.” See Psalm 27.

"Darkest Valley": A great song of personal testimonies about walking in the darkest valleys and overcoming through Christ: “I knew that I was made for more than rockin’ heels and designer skirts… In my darkest valley I could see the sun above my earth…Jesus gave me hope beyond the pain of what my eyes could see…that truth is here to set you free.”

THE VIRTUES, THE MUSIC

In 1 Corinthians 13, the Bible talks about three virtues that remain: faith, hope and love – the greatest being love. I like to think about how God is cultivating these virtues in my life. Most recently, He has been growing me in hope. Scripture has been a big part of that, and so has Christian music (which also is most often derived from Scripture!). By meditating on God’s promises through song, I am learning to hope in God more, and am becoming more aware of the ways that He already has done so. And I pray the same growth in teens everywhere, and the Body of Christ collectively!

The title of this entry is borrowed from TobyMac’s song, "Thankful For You". I’ll repeat the key section: “It’s always been about the music, prayin' God would use it; set some people free.”

That’s just what God does through Christian music – helps us live the abundant, free life in Him. We can mediate on just “positive” thoughts through a number of avenues the world offers, or we can mediate on heavenly thoughts. One is okay, one is excellent – the best way. I pray that if you don’t already, you’ll make Christian music part of your regular diet, too. The Music – Christian Music – is about Jesus, and makes all the daily difference!